Catalyst
by Etiena
Summary: With captain-level shinigami in her family, it is no surprise that Kurosaki Karin has potential. But it isn't family which triggers her change. Instead, a chance encounter with a young shinigami captain leads to startling revelations. Tōshirō x Karin
1. Chapter 1

_This story continues from the end of episode 132. I apologize for the lack of names associated to Karin's soccer buddies, but I was unable to come up with any direct name references when going through the old anime episodes. While I'm not sure they'd be making much of a comeback in future chapters, I would still appreciate it if someone were to enlighten me on their names, just in case. _

_I do use bits of Japanese here and there, mostly because it's what I'm used to hearing (from watching the Anime), and it sounds more natural than some of the words used in the English-dubbed version. I'll try and remember to post what new words mean, at the beginning of chapters. I struggle with Japanese, while my roommate struggles with English. Hopefully we've understood each other enough that my translations are accurate._

_I own nothing but the plot, and am forever grateful to Tite Kubo for the creation of these amazing characters and awesome universe._

_As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. I love any form of feedback. Much thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_This first chapter goes out to the amazing reviewers of my short story, _Again_, who had asked me to write more._

* * *

Taichō – Captain

Fukutaichō – Vice-Captain/Lieutenant

Shinigami – Death God/Soul Reaper

Gigai – Faux Body/Artificial Body

Gikongan – Artificial Souls

Arigato – Thanks

* * *

**[C]**

"[**I**]'m not an elementary student!"

Karin, startled by the intensity of his voice, took a step back. His eyes seemed to ice over. Although she could see how he was trying to control his temper, it was apparent that Tōshirō was close to losing the last shred of his self control. She hit a sore spot, she realized, and she really had no right to make fun of him. Not after he saved their soccer game. And _especially_ not after he saved her life.

Behind her, the woman was giggling uncontrollably.

"Taichō! So you're more conscious of your age than how people address you, eh?"

Karin frowned as she looked back at the woman. Matsumoto Rangiku. Karin carefully filed the name away in her head. These were shinigami. They were the key to her brother.

Shamefaced, she turned back to Tōshirō. "Sorry," she said, not quite meeting his eyes. "I got carried away."

He didn't answer, opting instead to cross his arms and stare off into the distance.

Awkwardly, Karin looked at Matsumoto. The woman was still recovering from her giggling fit, and was flashing Karin a friendly smile. "Don't mind Taichō," she said. "He's sensitive about his age. He's the younges-" she started to say, only to be interrupted by a sharp, "Matsumoto!" from the boy.

"Sorry Taichō," she said, failing beautifully at any attempt at sincerity. "Since you took care of the hollow, I'm just going to go back-" She trailed off as a commotion broke out further down the soccer field. The three of them turned to look.

"Oh no, Kurosaki!" Karin's friends were back on their feet and standing worriedly over… Tōshirō's body? She squinted. The telltale mop of white hair, the black polo, the beige trousers. Karin was reminded of the moment s saw her brother leap out the window, garbed in the shinigami black. He had left his body behind, too. But Tōshirō had been standing next to her when the monster had appeared. Even if he had left his body, how did it end up way over there?

Beside her, she felt more than saw Tōshirō cringe. "Damnit," he cursed.

"Eh!" Matsumoto exclaimed. "Why is your gigai just lying there? What happened to the gikongan?"

"I don't know," Tōshirō said shortly. With Matsumoto staring intently at him, he sighed and added, "The hollow was about to crush her, and somehow I just stepped out of the gigai."

"Kurosaki!" The boys were jumping up and down and waving for her attention. "Oh, no! Maybe she hit her head too hard. She's just staring off into space… What if she lost her memory? Her big brother would kill us!"

"Augh!" Karin exclaimed. She looked helplessly at Tōshirō. "Help me here!" She hissed. "Can't you just jump back in and pretend you fainted, or something?"

He shot her a withering look. "Me? Faint? Who do you take me for?" He muttered.

"Well, you are just lying there, what are they going to think? It's not like they can see you!"

"Kurosaki! He's not breathing!" Someone cried.

"Oh no! They're going to say we killed him!" Another groaned.

"Wh-what? But it was obviously that… that… whatever caused that big hole…" The individual voices were lost in a cacophony of terrified groaning and wailing.

Cursing under her breath, Karin made her way over to the boys. The field was torn up, the ground uneven, and it didn't take more than a few steps before Karin stumbled, her bad knee giving way. With the adrenaline from the soccer match fading from her system, the pain was starting to set in. But instead of landing face first into the dirt, a hand was suddenly around her body, catching her before she fell.

"Be careful," Tōshirō said. His voice was nonchalant, but somehow Karin knew he was worried. "It wouldn't do for you to collapse in front of all of them. They all look up to you, you know."

Karin smiled in spite of the pain. "No, idiot. You're the one they look up to, now. You did save our game."

He shrugged as he helped her up, making a noncommittal noise in answer.

She was limping as she made her way up to the boys.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Kurosaki! He's not breathing! Do you think whatever made that hole hit him? Is he dead?"

"Hmmm," Karin said as she bent over the lifeless… Gigai? Was that what the redhead called it? She pretended to check his pulse. "He's fine," she told everyone. "I can feel his pulse."

"But.. But.."

"Eh. You were probably just weren't paying enough attention," she said, blithely. "Your fingers have to be right over one of his veins. It looks like he just hit his head really hard. But there's no blood, so it should be okay."

"Oh.. okay… But what should we do? Should we call for an ambulance?"

"Yeah! Doesn't he have that cell phone? Maybe we can call the police…?"

Karin blinked. "No!" she cried, a little too abruptly. "Don't do that!"

"But Kurosaki? Why? He's hurt!"

She frowned, and took a moment to glare at Tōshirō who did nothing more than stare at her stoically.

"I'll take him back home. My dad can fix him up!" She said brightly.

That seemed to satisfy her friends. Reluctantly, they bid their farewells.

"Tell him, when he wakes up, that he was amazing," they told her. "He really saved us! I didn't want to eat spaghetti through my nose… Tell him he can play with us any time! Think he can teach us how to play like him?"

"Yeah, yeah," Karin said, waving them off. She made a show of hefting the gigai up and was surprised that, while weighted, the body wasn't half as heavy as it ought to be. Experimentally, she scooped the body up bridal style, and found it wasn't too hard to carry. "Go home now!" She called out. "You know your parents are going to freak out if you don't go home soon! They knew we were playing out here. When it reaches the news that something happened, they're going to come looking for you."

That seemed to make all of them balk, and collectively they turned on their heels, running home.

"Well, that worked," she said more to herself than to the two shinigami by her side. Not seeing a point in juggling the gigai more than necessary, she bent over to set it down when her knee gave. The added weight of the gigai in her arms had her slamming into the ground knee first. The pain was blinding as it shot up her body. Karin wasn't sure how long she lay there, half curled over the gigai, grinding her teeth as she struggled not to scream.

She felt hands carefully lifting her up, and when the faint, flowery scent washed over her, coupled with the all-too-obvious feel of soft breasts pressed against her body, she knew she was being held by Matsumoto.

"Taichō?" Karin heard the woman ask.

"Yeah," Tōshirō said. Karin felt herself being lowered into his arms. "I'll take her back home." Opening her eyes, Karin saw that he was back in the body, her face perilously close to his own. She bit her lip, fighting the blush that threatened to flood her face. It wasn't often she found herself being carried by a strange boy, even if he was a shinigami. She didn't like how helpless she felt, either.

"Arigato, Tōshirō," Karin said faintly. "But I should be okay… if you just let me down."

Turquoise eyes flickered down at her for the briefest of moments. "Don't be stupid," he said in a low voice. "Your knee's swollen so badly that the circulation going to your toes is probably cut off. If you try pushing yourself, you're just going to make the damage worse. If I wasn't worried about someone seeing you flying through the air, I'd run you back in my real form."

"Oh," Karin said faintly. "Okay then."

She hoped he couldn't feel how rapidly her heart was beating as he made his way towards the house, Matsumoto trailing along in her shinigami form, chattering about an Ikkaku and Yumichika, whatever those were.

It occurred to Karin that despite the fake body Tōshirō was 'wearing', she could still feel the rhythmical beating of his heart.

**[C]**


	2. Chapter 2

_To everyone who bothered to check my story out, thank you very much! I think I'll only be updating once this week, but who knows, perhaps I'll have something up before Sunday. Either way, I hope this chapter is to your liking. Feedback is always appreciated; I constantly worry about the "IC-ness" of my characters, whether the plot is moving fast enough, etc. Let me know what you think. Writing is one part for the writer's enjoyment, and the (large) majority for the readers to enjoy, is it not?_

_To my reviewers, girlX901, Tsukihime Nee, Reiuko, Lazyguy90, hitdapanicbutton, Misteree Gurl and especially KazeNoSakura, a __**warmest thank you**__ for your kind words. This chapter is for you._

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* * *

_

_Japanese words that appear here (My apologies if I left anything out, or screwed something up): _

Otou-san – Father

Onii-chan – brother

Gomennasai – sorry

Hai – yes

Reiryoku - spiritual power

Reiatsu – spiritual pressure

Honorifics:

-nii : denotes brother

-nee: denotes sister

-san: a title of respect

-chan: often used for younger children, and girls. Expresses endearment.

* * *

**[C]**

[**K**]arin was still stuck in Tōshirō's arms, unsuccessfully trying to convince him to let her down, when Matsumoto reached out to open the clinic door. But the door flung open on its own accord and had Matsumoto stumbling backwards and away from the door.

"My darling Karin-chan is ho-" Kurosaki Isshin paused mid sentence, clearly deflating when he caught sight of the odd trio outside his clinic.

Karin could feel Tōshirō stiffen, his grip on her tightening. Matsumoto, who had just started to whine about nasty surprises, trailed off abruptly.

Kurosaki Isshin recovered first. "My darling Karin-chan is hurt!" He cried after those awful seconds of silence. "Here, I can take her," her father continued, offering to take Karin from Tōshirō's arms. But his voice came out lackluster, and Karin noticed how the man's eyes kept darting between Tōshirō and Matsumoto. And the grip Tōshirō had around her body never loosened.

Reaching out, Karin managed to land a smart slap across her father's face. "You idiot," she hissed. "You can see them. You've always been able to see them. And you never told us?" When her father opened his mouth, made to protest, she cut him off. "Otou-san, I know you can see them. It's written all over your face. You can't stop looking over at her, and you _shouldn't be able to see her._"

"Ah… Karin-chan… I can explain…"

But he never got to. Because at that moment, Matsumoto Rangiku found her voice.

"K-kurosaki-taichō?"

Kurosaki Isshin managed a sheepish smile. "Domo, Rangiku-san."

The woman responded with a squeal. Kurosaki Isshin found himself teetering backwards as the woman flung herself at him and pulled him into a hug.

Karin blinked. _That_ she hadn't expected. Then her father looked up, and over Matsumoto's shoulder said, "It's good to see you again, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Kurosaki-taichō," Tōshirō acknowledged.

"Matte," Karin said, as everything fell into place. "Otou-san's a _Shinigami too_?"

"Ah… Karin-chan," Kurosaki Isshin started, as he untangled himself from Matsumoto.

"You idiot!" She hissed, soundly hitting him again as he approached her. "Now you really have a lot of explaining to do."

**[C]**

[**K**]arin couldn't help but feel resentful of her knee, because her father had taken to studying it with more clinical professionalism than she knew him to possess. All her questions had been waved – or cut – off, as he poked and prodded, occasionally eliciting pain sharp enough to cause her throat to constrict and her eyes to water.

The two Shinigami sat on a nearby hospital bed, Matsumoto looking as though she still hadn't quite snapped out of her dazed surprise, and Tōshirō watching the medical diagnosis with indifferent eyes.

"Well," her father said with a sigh as he sat back in his chair, "You've sprained it pretty bad, and burst a couple of blood vessels in the process. Normally I would tell you that you're stuck with it for the next couple of weeks, but seeing how my secret is apparently out…"

The man pulled open one of the lower drawers to his desk, and rummaged around before retrieving an odd looking glove. He slipped it onto his hand, and tapped his palm against the back of his head.

Karin was well aware that her mouth had fallen open, but all she could do was openly stare as her father emerged from his body in the black kimono she was learning to associate with Shinigami. She noted the clip over his shoulder, the billowing white fabric draped over his shoulder, the sheathed katana. He looked more natural, somehow, in the traditional costume. More collected, at ease, and at the same time he carried an air of command and authority that was completely foreign to the girl.

A warm tingle spread over her knee as he held his hands over the swollen joint. She could see the faintest blue light being emitted from his hands, energy that she somehow recognized to be part of him. It reminded her of how she was able to channel that extra spark of energy into her soccer ball when confronting a hollow.

Perhaps she possessed that same potential her brother and father had, to become Shinigami. The thought took her by surprise.

"Arigato, otou-san," she said as the last of the blue light faded. She stretched her leg out then experimentally set it down on the ground. With a single hand braced against the frame of the hospital bed she was perched on, Karin tried to stand. She was pleased to find that her leg was handling her weight with absolutely no pain.

"Ah, Karin," Isshin said, a hint of the goofball father emerging in the teasing lilt in his voice. "I won't tell our darling Yuzu-chan how you got hurt and had a cute boy carry you home, if you don't tell Yuzu about me."

"Idiot!" She cried on reflex, punching him on the shoulder, half pleased to know he could feel pain in that form. "How is that fair! I couldn't tell Yuzu anyway. You know perfectly well she's clueless to spiritual stuff. How would I explain something like this to her? But," she added, eyes narrowed, voice stern, "You owe Ichi-nii an explanation."

The older man nodded, closing his eyes. "I don't think Ichigo will be coming home for awhile yet. He has his own problems to handle. But when he does return, I'll talk to him, when the time is right."

His assessment of her brother's situation startled her, as he had done nothing more than blather about delinquent sons the past two weeks. "So why didn't you say anything to begin with? You knew how Ichi-nii was, overreacting all the time to spirits."

Isshin shook his head. "By the time I entered the living world, I had lost my powers. All while you were growing up, I was as blind as Yuzu. It has only been in the past 6 months or so that I've started to feel the returning spiritual energy." He smiled wryly. "I'd blame your brother on that, seeing how he's leaking his energy everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if Yuzu starts getting a better sense of things, when Ichigo comes home again."

"Ichi-nii's the reason I can see them, then?" Karin asked, gesturing at Tōshirō and Matsumoto.

"You really need to help him learn to control his reiatsu," Tōshirō spoke up then. "According to Urahara, Kurosaki is influencing the ability of his classmates to sense spiritual presences. It's not just limited to Orihime Inoue and Yasutora Sado, anymore."

Isshin did his best confused puppy expression, which Karin had always found to be, personally, more reminiscent of a look of constipation. "Who me?" He asked with feigned innocence. "What makes you think _I_ know anything about control?"

"Eh, Taichō. You've always been good about controlling your reiatsu," Matsumoto pointed out. "I can barely feel you, now, and I know you're here."

"I have no control over my idiot son," Isshin clarified. He raised an eyebrow at Tōshirō. "Don't tell me Ichigo's well behaved or disciplined. I heard about his antics in soul society. You two should have experienced firsthand how brash he is."

Karin was about to point out the understatement, and follow through with an accurate analysis of _where_ her brother derived his idiosyncrasy from, but was interrupted by the sound of her sister's voice.

"Gomennasai, otou-san," Yuzu said as she peered out from behind the door leading to the main house. "I don't mean to interrupt but dinner… Karin-chan!" the brunette exclaimed as she caught sight of her sister. "What are you doing here? Are you hurt?"

The look of alarm on her twin's face had Karin scrambling for an answer. "No, no. I just... my friend!" She pointed frantically at Tōshirō as he glared at her. "We were playing soccer, and there was one of those mini earthquakes, you know? And he just hit his head really hard, so I brought him back so otou-san could make sure he was okay."

To the spiritually blind Yuzu, the earthquake excuse made perfect sense. She beamed a smile at Tōshirō. "Hi! I'm Karin's sister, Yuzu! Are you new here?" She asked inquisitively. "I've never seen you in school before. Or are you from the private elementary school on the other side of town?"

Karin had to hide her smile; Matsumoto, who was safely hidden in her Shinigami form, burst out into delighted laughter. "No, Yuzu," Karin cut in. "He's not an elementary school student. He's visiting from out of town, one of Ichi-nii's friends." Karin snuck a glance at the boy in question, and was relieved to see only the slightest of frowns on his face, the 'usual' expression he had.

"Ichi-nii's friend?" Yuzu said. "Wow! You must be really smart, then!"

Karin could see the slight tension in his shoulders as Yuzu once again implied his age, never mind the compliment in intellect. She made a mental note to ask about that later, discretely, with someone other than the person in question.

"Ahh, Yuzu, you said dinner was ready?" Karin tried changing the subject.

"Hai! And I made more than enough for you too, uh…" She floundered for a name

"Hitsugaya Tōshirō," he supplied.

"I made more than enough for Hitsugaya-san, if you'd be willing to join. I always make extra, in case Ichi-nii comes home…"

Isshin, who at some point in the conversation had jumped back in his body, interrupted. "Ah! Yes, yes! Hitsugaya-kun must join us for dinner! Yuzu's cooking is amazing! You have to try it!" Karin had to applaud her father's ability to spontaneously act like an idiot, as he clasped his hands and fluttered about in excitement.

"And," Isshin added, sneaking a devilish look at Matsumoto's direction, "You can even bring your friend, too! I know she would love Yuzu-chan's cooking, and of course Yuzu always makes enough for our esteemed guests!"

"Oh! More guests!" Yuzu brightened at the thought.

Matsumoto jumped to her feet and grinned widely at Tōshirō who had already had the words, "No" forming on his lips.

"Oh! Taichō! Don't you dare say no! I'll be right back in my gigai, and then we can have dinner!"

Yuzu was heading back into the house, now. "I'll set out more plates!" She cried happily. "We can wait for your friend to get here before dinner, Hitsugaya-san."

"Taichō," Matsumoto was whining pathetically now at the boy glaring frostily at her. "She's already setting the plates out! It's all the extra food! With Orihime in soul society, we don't have anyone to cook dinner for us!"

"Good!" Karin could hear him reply. "I rather just order food from the store, anyway."

"But Taichō!"

"Matsumoto!"

Sensing a long and pointless standoff, Karin spoke up. "Eh, Tōshirō, just have dinner, will you? It really will make Yuzu happy. She's been pretty bummed out ever since onii-chan left. Having 2 more people at the dining table would make it seem more lively. Yuzu's been affected by onii-chan's absence, and with Rukia-nee-chan gone, too, she's been exceptionally moody."

She whirled around, even as Matsumoto burst out into an ecstatic, "See, Taichō! I'll be right back!" and fixed her father with a deathly stare. "And don't you dare make a scene, otou-san. You embarrass me enough as it is and there's no reason for you to act like an absolute idiot in front of these people."

"Ahhh… but Karin-chan, Yuzu expects me to act that way. And she's been so sad lately that we must do everything we can to keep her happy."

Karin wanted to roll her eyes. Or give her father a good hard shove. "Fine," she bit out. "But don't you dare start anything about gaining another son and daughter."

She could have sworn she heard Tōshirō snort, but didn't think the boy was capable of making such an undignified noise.

**[C]**

[**L**]uckily for Karin, her father didn't act too out of hand over dinner, skipping over his usual floundering about their mother's poster to lavish praises upon Yuzu. Judging by the spread of food on the table, Karin suspected her sister had made a few extra dishes during the time Matsumoto took to recover her body and return to the clinic.

But even that spread of food rapidly disappeared. Karin marveled at how much Tōshirō was able to eat, and was flabbergasted at how discrete he was about his appetite. Matsumoto, on the other hand, took to squealing over each dish as she helped herself a second, third, then fourth time. By the end of dinner, Yuzu was blushing furious from the compliments – from both Isshin and Matsumoto – that had been piled on her. It was clear to Karin that Matsumoto's presence would do little to temper her father's eccentricity over time.

"I'll clean up," Karin told her sister as everyone stood up from the dining table. She could see how Yuzu was drawn to the energetic redhead, and wanted the smile on her lips to last a little longer. "You entertain Tōshirō and Matsumoto-san."

"Call me Rangiku, Karin-chan!" The redhead called cheerfully. "Oh!" She exclaimed then, "Is that your bear?" She pointed at one of Yuzu's many stuffed toys that adorned the living room. "It's wearing a dress that matches yours! Did you make it?" And both females were suddenly engaged in a lively discussion about fashion, peppered with outrageous observations from Isshin.

"I suppose I'll help you," Tōshirō told Karin, joining her in stacking up the dirty dishes. "After all, you did just feed us."

Karin smirked. "You just want to escape them," she jerked her head back in the direction of the living room. "And I didn't do a thing. Yuzu did all the feeding. I just eat. And attempt to clean up after, because it's unfair for her to do all the cooking and cleaning."

They quickly fell into an easy pattern of washing and drying, with the boy manning the sinks and Karin putting the dried dishware away in the appropriate cabinets. She noticed that he had the tap turned to the coldest possible setting as he soaped and rinsed.

"Does your sister do most of the cooking?" He asked. "She's talented," he remarked. "Much better than Orihi-"

Karin didn't think he had meant to say the last part out loud, and laughed when he caught himself mid sentence.

"It's okay," she assured him. "I've heard all about Orihime-chan's cooking. You can always tell when Ichi-nii's tried one of her creations. He practically worships Yuzu for making dinner that night."

"Ah," he said. "Well, your mother has taught her very well."

"Okaa-san died when I was four," Karin said.

"Oh," was all Tōshirō managed to say. "I'm sorry to hear that," he added. "She would be very proud to see how her children turned out, though."

Karin laughed, and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. You don't have to come up with something nice to say, especially when the only one of us that turned out well was Yuzu. All of us have pretty much come to terms with her being gone. I was only four when it happened."

"I'd say you turned out pretty well," he said so softly Karin paused.

"Did you say something?" She asked.

The boy shook his head. "I should probably make sure that Matsumoto's not making a fool of herself."

On that note, Karin cringed. "She's with my father!" she realized. She stared in horror. "Poor Yuzu!"

She dashed out of the kitchen, turning the corner to the living room, only to find that Yuzu had gone up to the bedroom. Her father and Matsumoto, in a moment of rarity, were doing nothing more than sitting and talking quietly.

Karin stuck a hand out, stopping Tōshirō from walking in on the pair.

"Let them talk," she whispered. "I wouldn't be surprised if Otou-san's lonely. He doesn't really have many friends. Mostly he's in the clinic, or at home. Occasionally he heads to the hospital, but I can't remember the last time he's gone out to dinner, with a friend." There was a fond smile on her lips. "He's always here for us, annoying though he might be."

She wasn't sure what he was looking for, when he peered over her shoulder to watch the two adults interacting.

"I'll just head back first, then." He said after a moment.

"What, alone?"

All she received in reply was a noncommittal shrug.

"I'll walk you back," she said firmly. "Do you even know how to get home? Wait. Where are you even staying?"

He didn't look at her, when he muttered, "I suppose." She didn't quite know what that was in response to.

"Otou-san!" Karin called. "I'm walking Tōshirō home! Matsumoto-san, stay as long as you want!"

She slammed the door closed, grabbing Tōshirō's wrist and pulling him along with her. The faint voices of her father yelling about "My darling Karin-chan is growing up," and Matsumoto's "Taichō! You two are so cute together!" could be heard.

"Sorry," both Karin and Tōshirō said at the same time.

"My father's kinda weird." Karin concluded as Tōshirō said, "Matsumoto's kind of enthusiastic."

They stopped mid step to stare at each other.

"That was awkward," Karin muttered. The boy made no attempt to reply.

"So where do you live?" She tried asking a while later. She was aimlessly walking towards the park, sensing his reluctance to lead. She could only assume she was heading in the right direction.

"Orihime Inoue's apartment," he said with a sigh.

Karin stopped so suddenly that it took him another two steps before he realized he had left her behind.

"But Tōshirō! Orihime-chan lives that way!" She said, pointing in the opposite direction.

He didn't immediately reply, instead, he tilted his face upwards towards the starry night sky, eyes at half-mast, as though he was feeling, rather than seeing the night. "I know," he said quietly. He started walking in the direction of the park. "But there's no point in me returning, just yet. Thank you for walking me, you didn't have to."

"I'm not letting you go to the park alone!" Karin said as she hurried to catch up with him. "It's dangerous at night."

The look he shot her was poetic and deadly.

"I've not played on the swings, in awhile. Me and Yuzu-chan used to play there all the time. When onii-chan had more time." She fell into step next to him.

It occurred to Karin, that in any other situation her insistence on tagging along would have been perceived as blatantly rude, especially when the boy had made so many polite attempts at leaving her side. But somehow she had the feeling he didn't mind too much. As for herself, Karin wasn't quite sure why she felt compelled to stay with him. Perhaps, she rationalized, it was that this boy, this Shinigami taichō, was the only clue she had about her brother's secret life. Maybe that was why she was so drawn to him.

Maybe.

She wasn't surprised when he scaled to the top of playground, on the flat roof of the dome covering the tallest slide. He had his arms folded behind his head as a makeshift cushion while he stared up at the stars. It was like she wasn't there, the way he was acting. But it was… what was the word? A companionable silence.

She wandered over to the swings, and was soon lost in the thrill of soaring through the air. Karin wasn't quite sure why she hadn't ever done this before, sneaking out at night when the playground was deserted. It was always noisy in the house, between her father's antics, Yuzu's constant chattering to her collection of soft toys, and when Ichigo and Rukia were around, the sound of them bickering. Her thoughts drifted back to the white haired Shinigami, and realized that he was now perched on the side of the dome, legs dangling over the edge, studying her.

"Want to come swing with me?" She asked. When he merely shook his head and looked away, she called out again. "What are you thinking about, Tōshirō?"

"Nothing you'd understand," he said gruffly. "You should be heading home. It's getting late, and I'm sure your father would worry with you out."

Karin raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry about Otou-san. He trusts that I'll be careful. Besides," she pointed out with a grin. "I wouldn't have come out here without you. You're my safety."

She blushed, realizing how intimate that last statement sounded. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. Not, Karin thought, that he said much at all.

She did, however, stop the pumping motion of her legs and allowed herself to slowly come back down to ground. She was envious of how easily he jumped off the top of the playground. It was an effortless landing despite the high drop. She already saw from earlier, how he easily jumped several stories high, while fighting that huge monster. Surely the world she lived in, and the people in it, seemed small and limited in comparison to what he was used to.

It was just then, that he stuck his hand out. "Come on," he said, offering to help her out of the swing. "This time I'll walk you home."

"I can stand up just fine," she said more waspishly than intended. "I know I'm just a human, but I'm not pathetic." The startled look in his eyes had her cursing herself, when she realized just how ungrateful she sounded.

"Hey, I'm sorry." She said, hating the need to apologize. "I was just thinking about…"

"It's fine," he said. He lowered his hand, when Karin grabbed it on impulse.

"Help me up, will you?" She grinned at him. "After all, we don't want me spraining something else on your watch. You'd have to answer to my father."

"You realize that your father is an actual threat, right?"

Karin shook her head as they started walking back home. "Tell me about him. I take it you know him, too?"

"I served under him," he said. "For maybe five or so years. He was the taichō of the 10th division before me."

There was a far-off quality to his voice, as though he was remembering something from times past. "Then he had an accident, and no one could figure out how to recover his reiryoku, so he was forced to step down. I had just passed the captain proficiency exam, and was offered his position, after he left."

There were many questions she wanted to ask, like "How old are you?" and "What is reiryoku?" and "What does a captain do, exactly." But finally, she settled for, "What was he like, then?"

There was a fondness in Tōshirō's voice when he finally answered. "Loud. Extremely animated. He was fun to be around; Between him and Matsumoto, there was always some kind of commotion going on in the 10th division barracks. But he was also extremely intelligent. He had an amazing knowledge of kido, hakuda, zanjutsu and Hohō, he knew how to make it all come together.

"Kurosaki-taichō was the best strategist, largely because he was perceptive, and intimately familiar with everyone's strengths and weaknesses. He knew how to maximize what he was given in any situation. And he had an extremely high level of reiryoku. It's probably where you and your brother inherited it, from. Although, Kurosaki-taichō handled his energy with a rare finesse. Your brother, on the other hand, lets his reiatsu flare with absolutely no control."

"Ano… Tōshirō," Karin said tentatively. "But what is reiryoku? And that other word you used... reiatsu?"

"I forget you're new…" He shook his head, turning his train of thought back to the question at hand. "Reiryoku's someone's spiritual energy, the total store that you carry inside you. Reiatsu is the amount of that energy you're channeling outwards. That feeling you get, when you notice a hollow, is a result of you sensing the hollow's reiatsu."

Hollow. Karin rolled the word around her mind. It was the name for those monsters she saw, Karin surmised.

"So, Ichi-nii… you said he was off training to be stronger. Is he learning to control it, then? You said earlier, that he was the reason behind us gaining our own power…."

"Usually, when a person dies, and their soul moves onto soul society, those with any form of spiritual power start to experience it awakening, because of how there are spirit particles everywhere in soul society. Think of it as a trigger. But here in the world of the living, most of you aren't exposed to that. Ever since your brother became a Shinigami, he's been leaking reiatsu, and has started an early awakening in people.

"But no, Kurosaki's lack of control isn't the only problem, he faces. He's got a lot of potential, but too little training. Raw talent isn't enough, in our world. That, I believe, is what he is working on."

"Is it dangerous?" She wanted to know.

Tōshirō turned to her then. His eyes were darker blue, she realized, stormy blue. He looked serious. "Kurosaki, e_verything_ we do, as Shinigami, is dangerous. There is always the chance that we might die. It is something we acknowledge, when we enter the academy. We accept that risk, in exchange for keeping the balance within the world."

"But you'd be careful, right?" She blurted out, grabbing his shoulders and turning him to face her. Karin didn't know what spurred that question, and she would have blushed, but somehow she felt compelled to hear him say, "Yes."

All she received was a cool stare, followed by a matter-of-fact, "I'm a taichō of the Gotei 13. I wouldn't have achieved that rank if I was reckless."

"Right," she said, finally letting go of him. She started walking. "So I shouldn't worry?"

"Idiot," was all he said.

He stopped outside the door, when they reached the clinic. "Aren't you coming in?" She asked him.

He frowned, and pulled out his phone. It was beeping obnoxiously, and seconds later, Karin felt it. The vague, malevolent sensation crawled up her skin; she could feel goose bumps forming.

The front door burst open a moment later, Rangiku and her father both peering out.

"Taichō!" The woman said urgently.

"Hai, Matsumoto." He turned to Karin and the elder Kurosaki, and was about to say something when the incessant beeping returned. A quick glance at his phone had him frowning. "There is no time," he said by way of explanation. "We'll be back shortly."

Karin watched in fascination as each of them pulled out a cylindrical tube topped with a cutesy cartoon figure, and swallowed a pill that it produced. The two of them stepped out of their bodies, and with a quick affirming glance at each other, shot off across the rooftops into the night.

"Come on, Karin-chan. Help me get them into the house," her father's voice drew Karin back to reality, and she turned away from the dark horizon. In the back of her mind, she imagined she could see the two Shinigami in the distance. She watched as an overly flirtatious Matsumoto crawled over her father, and was relieved to find that Tōshirō's double was quiet, if not a little slow. Not knowing what else to do, she helped the body sit down on the sofa next to her, while she left her father to wrestle the over-eager female.

She turned on the TV, and let the sound of late night reruns wash over her.

**[C]**


	3. Chapter 3

_And here we are with chapter 3! We'll be taking a peek into Tōshirō's head for the next chapter or two._

_Thank you SO MUCH to my reviewers, _Lazyguy90, KazeNoSakura, finalfantasytwilightlover, chiharuSAICHI, and KarinKurosakiHitsugaya913_! There's nothing like encouragement and positive feedback to motivate me to write better – let's hope I manage to do so! To all the new people who've added __Catalyst to story alert, or deemed this story worthy enough of gracing your favorites list, hello and thank you! I hope I don't disappoint! Let a little note saying hi, next time. I'll love to reply back and get to know the people reading this :)  
_

_If the next chapter or two feels a little slow moving action wise, I'm sorry. I felt it necessary to delve a little into each character. From the point where episode 132 ends to when Tōshirō returns to soul society, I estimated somewhere around two weeks pass. Much as I adore the HitsugayaxKarin pairing, I don't believe it's in either of their characters to fall in love overnight after a single soccer game. Let them ponder the situation more, and let them spend time together. Maybe something might happen anyway, whether they like it or not ;)_

_I own nothing besides the plot. Bleach, and all the amazingness that goes with it belongs to Tite Kubo._

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_Words that may not be familiar to you:_

_Shunpo – Flash step_

_Matte – Wait_

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**[C]**

[**I**]t was simple enough to dispatch the hollows, although Tōshirō was disquieted by the number of them. Matsumoto had taken care of the group of four regular hollows, and leaving him with the two huge hollows that had appeared one after the other, not more than a few blocks away from the Kurosaki clinic.

Having heard enough of Kurosaki Ichigo's history, he knew to expect that kind of hollow invasion in the presence of the boy. However, wherever Kurosaki was, his reiatsu was masked well enough that Tōshirō could only sense the slightest glimmer of Ichigo's presence. If he didn't know better, Tōshirō would have suspected that the other members of the Kurosaki family were the source of hollow attraction. But despite the girl's apparent reiryuko, she emitted next to no reiatsu. And Kurosaki-taichō would never be careless enough to attract danger to his family.

Taking a moment, the young captain took to a higher position in the air and looked around. He visualized the locations of each of the recent hollow appearances, moving so that he stood dead center of where all the garganta opened. He glanced down. Below him were a row of houses of a seemingly ordinary neighborhood. Yet when he probed the area, he felt a strong, steady hum of a foreign, human reiatsu.

"Taichō," Matsumoto called as she approached. "Everything looks to be cleared."

"Hai," he said, gesturing for the vice-captain to follow. He landed lightly on the pavement, and looked up through the windows of the surrounding houses. "Do you recognize anyone here?"

"Eh, Taichō?" The woman asked. She looked around, then, taking a few steps down the street, she paused. "That girl's from Ichigo's class, I think," she said, pointing through an open window.

Short, spiked raven black hair was all that Tōshirō could initially see. But as the figure moved about the room, the face came into view, revealing a teenage girl with a heart-shaped face and large brown eyes.

"I think her name is Tatsuki, or something," Matsumoto was saying. "She's Orihime's friend; She grew up with Ichigo."

The young captain nodded. "We might need to have more than a single Shinigami stationed in Karakura in the long run, if too many of Kurosaki's acquaintances gain power."

"Is that really necessary?" Matsumoto asked, as she stared thoughtfully through the window. The figure moved, and Tōshirō found himself stepping away in a swift shunpo, Matsumoto following behind him.

Glancing over his shoulder at the girl who was now leaning out her window, scanning the street below her curiously, Tōshirō sighed. "Yes. Something will need to be done with how many spiritually aware humans there are in Karakura."

**[C]**

[**T**]ōshirō wasn't quite sure how to react, so he opted for apathy when they returned to the Kurosaki clinic to retrieve their gigai. It wasn't his the first time witnessing his vice-captain's faux body attempting to crawl all over a hapless victim. However, this time Kurosaki Isshin was the victim in question. The ex-captain had apparently escaped into his Shinigami form and was currently cowering in a corner, while the overly enthusiastic artificial soul-possessed body of one Matsumoto Rangiku fondled the man's lifeless body. _That_ was a first for the supposedly jaded 10th division captain.

"Matsumoto," he said sternly, "You're not using Momone anymore. This is ridiculous."

"But Taichō!" She whined, "It's not like anyone was hurt."

"What do you mean, no one was hurt?" Kurosaki Isshin yelled, waving his hands at the busty woman. "I can't go into my body anymore, after… after…" The former captain appeared too traumatized for words. "My poor body!" He moaned. He prodded it with his toe, and squeaked when the movement caused the body to flip over to one side.

"It was only a couple of harmless hugs!" Matsumoto argued, peering at the indignant man. "Kurosaki-taichō never used to worry about those."

"What do you mean, just hugs? Your gigai was-"

With a sigh, Tōshirō left the two of them to bicker, tuning the voices out with ease. Funny, he mused, how quickly everyone fell back into old habits.

He paused when he entered the living room.

The television was blaring, some tacky show featuring an eccentric character dressed in a questionable manner, screaming about spirits and laughing in the most obnoxious manner. The boy was about to switch the television off, when the screen suddenly cut to the action, and he was astonished to find himself looking at Karin captured on camera. The amount of strength put into the kick she delivered was surprising; Suddenly, Tōshirō found him thinking back to that moment earlier in the day, when the girl had delivered a similar kick to her soccer ball. Had she channeled reiatsu for the action?

He frowned, trying to recapture that moment in his mind's eye, but found that he couldn't. He had been far too concerned with the hollow to have noticed the girl beyond her alarming attempt at suicide. Now, he wondered if she did that often, using her soccer ball to counter the common hollow that crossed her path.

Commercials kicked in, and it was only then that Tōshirō noticed the two figures sitting on the sofa in front of him. His gigai was staring blankly at the screen, the gikongan seemingly captivated by the moving colors. Next to it, the Kurosaki girl sat, her head lightly rested on the gigai's shoulder, fast asleep.

He frowned, and crossed the room to stand in front of her.

"Oei," he said in a low voice. "Wake up," he tried. The girl didn't respond. "Kurosaki!" He hissed. The girl frowned in her sleep.

"Damnit," he cursed. He didn't want to wake her. He had a feeling she would react violently to being woken up.

"Eh, Hitsugaya-kun," Isshin suddenly called out, taking a moment out of his heated debate with Matsumoto. "Can you carry Karin-chan up to bed?" Before Tōshirō could reply, the man continued, "Thanks! I wouldn't want to carry her up when I smell like this."

"What do you mean, smell like this? Are you saying my perfume smells bad?"

Tōshirō gritted his teeth as the bickering started again. Why was _he_ always the one stuck in these kinds of situations?

"Fine," he muttered, more to himself than anything. He avoided looking at the dull eyes of his gigai as he lowered himself into the body. The vacant expression on his 'face' always unnerved him. Why the technology development bureau couldn't come up with better gikongan was beyond him. It was just his luck that he became a Shinigami shortly following the conversion to female-centric soul-candy. Tōshirō hoped a 'normal' gikongan would be designed, before Urahara ran out of the out-of-production King soul-candy.

Settled back in the gigai, he found it easy enough to scoop up the girl that was already nestled against him. Unlike earlier, he found that she was pliant in his arms, and nestled into his chest as he started up the stairs.

"Taichō! You and Karin-chan are so c-"

"Finish that sentence, Matsumoto, and I'm taking away your shopping money."

"Taichō!"

"He's just doing what I asked, Rangiku."

"Kurosaki-Taichō!"

The voices died down as he climbed up the stairwell. He easily recognized Ichigo's room; the residual reiatsu was hard to ignore. He peered into the next room, where the door had been left ajar. Twin beds greeted him, the sleeping form of one Kurosaki girl curled up under a pink bedspread. It meant that left the bed to the right, with its pale green bed sheets, belonged to Karin.

He would have just left her on top of the covers, but he noticed how her forearms were pebbled with goose bumps. She was cold, he realized. And judging by how bundled up her twin was, the room was probably too cold for them.

With a sigh, he shifted the girl so that she was pressed against his chest, cradled by his left arm. It took more coordination than he expected to pull the sheets back, but finally the girl was tucked in. He had even remembered to take her shoes off. Glancing behind him to make sure Matsumoto wasn't spying, Tōshirō finally pulled the covers over the girl.

"Who are…?"

He flinched, thinking the girl was awake, only to find her turning around in bed. Her fingers fisted into the fabric of her pillow case. She was dreaming.

"What…?" She muttered.

He could feel her reiatsu now, a sudden fluctuation of energy. It wasn't outrageous, but it was enough to draw hollows. Funny, he thought. Throughout the day she was barely noticeable. Now it was a steady hum, and easily identifiable. Maybe she was having a bad dream. He wasn't sure what the protocol for that was. Did he wake her?

"Hitsugaya-kun," Isshin said from the doorway, Matsumoto standing right behind him.

"Kurosaki-Taichō," the boy acknowledged. He stepped out of the room and closed the door, refusing himself a backwards glance.

"It was nice seeing you again," his once-mentor said. "I'm glad to see that they found you fit to replace me. I couldn't have picked a better candidate."

"Arigato, Kurosaki-Taichō," Tōshirō said. He bowed his head at the compliment.

"Rangiku's been catching me up on the years. It seems I've missed a lot. You've grown to be a fine captain, Hitsugaya-Taichō. If all possible, stop by again before you leave." After a pause, he added, "You were the closest thing I had to a son, back then."

Not knowing what to say to such an intimate confession, Tōshirō could do nothing more than murmur, "Domo arigato."

"You know what that means?" Isshin suddenly said brightly. The tone of his voice had Tōshirō's heart sinking. "That would make you Ichigo's older brother! The girls could call you Shirō-nii-chan!"

The comment filled Tōshirō with such a sense of horror that, for a moment, his reiatsu flared. The temperature in the hallway dropped rapidly. Almost immediately he reined it in, but not before he felt an answering tug.

A second reiatsu flared in response. A sudden, violent gust of wind blew the twins' bedroom door open and Tōshirō, who was standing directly in front of the door, stumbled forwards as it slammed into him. Peals of thunder rolled across the sky.

"What the…" The three of them stopped to stare through the doorway.

"Is that… Karin-chan's reiatsu?" Matsumoto asked in astonishment.

Tōshirō snuck a look into the bedroom, although he had a feeling he'd know what he would see. The girl was surrounded by a soft glow of energy, an iridescent shimmer that shifted from pale silver to midnight blue.

Isshin nodded thoughtfully, eyeing his daughter's sleeping form. "I can't say this has ever happened before. Perhaps, she's having a particularly vivid dream,"

He said the last with a pointed look at Tōshirō. The current Shinigami captain pulled on the indifferent mask he was so familiar with.

"Perhaps," Tōshirō acquiesced, tone nonchalant. "She was talking in her sleep, when I put her in bed."

His ex-captain's eyes stayed lingered on him for a heartbeat longer, seemingly looking right into his soul. It made Tōshirō vaguely uncomfortable. He had no idea that the Kurosaki girl would respond to violently to his reiatsu. She had been fine earlier, when he had released Hyōrinmaru. Perhaps it was a complete coincidence, but he couldn't deny the pull he felt when his reiatsu brushed against hers, and the immediate, _oddly familiar,_ response.

"We'll need to put up a temporary kidō barrier to suppress her reiatsu," the father decided. "It might not be… the best, to wake her up right now."

Matsumoto laughed. "You mean she'll probably punch you for waking her up, Kurosaki Taichō."

"Hey! A father's got to teach his children how to defend themselves! I can't have them attacking random strangers. It's a noble sacrifice, being the punching bag for my children!"

"Taichō-san is so noble."

"Ahh, Rangiku…"

Tōshirō shook his head. At this rate, it'd be another hour before he stepped out the Kurosaki's front door.

**[C]**

[**I**]n the end, it wasn't that bad, Tōshirō mused the next day. He finally slipped off in the middle of conversation, after Kurosaki-taichō had caught his eye. The older man seemed to understand all too well that Tōshirō was hanging around more out of politeness than interest in the banter. A subtle nod in Tōshirō's direction let the boy know that Isshin would ensure Matsumoto's safe return, and that it was ok for him to leave.

Even so, Tōshirō couldn't help but sneak a look at the dark haired Kurosaki girl through her bedroom window, after he stepped outside. The storm had subsided after he erected the temporary kidō barrier; Karin's father had somehow bummed the job off, claiming "Hitsugaya-kun has an amazing knowledge of kidō. After all, he is the child genius! How can a lowly old man's kidō barrier compare to his?"

Tōshirō had been apprehensive, knowing that it was _his_ reiatsu that had sparked Karin's response. Luckily, nothing happened when the barrier went up, although he could feel her reiatsu curling under the barrier walls, rubbing against them in an oddly intimate manner.

_Kurosaki Karin_, he thought as he ate breakfast. _What would have happened, if Kuchiki Rukia had met Karin, instead of the older brother? Would things have turned out differently?_

"Taichō~!" Using his feet, Tōshirō pushed himself to the left, chair legs scraping the floor as his vice-captain came bounding up. He took another bite of the pastry as the woman went crashing into the table.

"Eh, Taichō," she whined. "That wasn't very nice. Aren't you happy to see me?"

He mustered enough energy to grind out a, "Shut up, Matsumoto," and continued to finish his meal. Luckily, it was early Sunday morning, and there weren't many people out and about to witness the scene outside the local bakery. Breakfast eaten, Tōshirō stood up, brushing any crumbs away from his clothes. The little paper bag the shop assistant had wrapped the bread in went into the trash can. Hands shoved into his pants pocket, Tōshirō started heading towards the direction of the railing by the soccer field.

"Matte, Taichō!" Matsumoto called. "Where are you going? I have something to ask you!"

He bit back a sigh. "What?"

"Kurosaki-Taichō mentioned this movie thing he was going to take his daughters too! And I thought Taichō would like to go-"

"I'm not interested," he said, cutting her off.

"But Taichō," she whined.

"I don't care what you do as long as you respond when an alert comes in."

Normally, that response would have appeased her. Matsumoto had the tendency to ask, in her outrageous way, for something completely unreasonable. Then, after having worn the person down with pleading, whining, and flashing of cleavage, she would offer to bargain for something that was, while still outrageous, more _reasonable_ than the first.

Tōshirō knew it was the latter request she had wanted fulfilled, in the first place. He saw right through her act, most of the time, but such was the dynamic of their relationship. It was a routine, familiar banter that in some twisted way created a sense of _normalcy _in their daily interaction. Which was why he was startled, when she shook her head.

"No, Taichō," she said firmly, her voice serious and low. "I really think you ought to go. I know Kurosaki-Taichō really would like to have you around. Especially with Ichigo gone."

He knew he wasn't successful in keeping the thread of annoyance out of his voice, when he replied. "Are you suggesting, Matsumoto, that I play surrogate to Kurosaki Ichigo?"

Her eyes widened. "No! I just… I mean… Seeing how well you were doing, really made Kurosaki-Taichō happy. I was just hoping you could be there a little bit longer. You really were something special, to him."

"Go away, Matsumoto," Tōshirō finally said with a sigh.

It would figure, that his fukutaichō would know exactly what to say to make him feel guilty, but he'd be damned if he let her know how her words got to him.

He would go, he decided. After all, weren't movies supposed to be held in dark rooms where everyone was _quiet_ while they watched the show? It couldn't hurt, he reasoned. And at the end of the day, Kurosaki-Taichō _had_ been the person there for him, in the days following his graduation from the spiritual arts academy. Following _that_ incident, and the murder of…

"It's at 2pm, at the Karakura Theatre," Matsumoto's persistent voice broke his train of thought.. "Will you go?"

He spared her a glance. "Who knows," he said ambiguously. Hands digging deeper into the pockets of his pants, he walked off, leaving his vice-captain behind.

**[C]**

[**T**]he freak storm that the Kurosaki girl created didn't last too long, but Tōshirō could feel the added moisture in the air. In the early morning, it made the air smell cleaner, fresher. Settling back on the railing, he stared off into the distance, marveling at how vast the town seemed, from a distance. All these people, he mused, completely unaware of the danger they are in, with the coming of the winter war.

It was only nine in the morning, and Tōshirō knew he had plenty of time before Matsumoto came to drag him off to the movie. Closing his eyes briefly, Tōshirō concentrated on the ebb and flow of reiatsu throughout the town.

Madarame and Ayasegawa were somewhere close by, probably still sleeping in. Tōshirō bit back a sigh. He had a very good idea of how the two of them had conned the hapless teenager into letting them stay with him. It was just as well. If the kid had enough spiritual pressure to see hollows and Shinigami, he was probably also going to be a prime hollow target. Maybe Madarame could feed his blood lust by fending off the hollows that preyed off the teenager. More likely, however, Madarame was going to torment the kid while Ayasegawa watched.

Renji was at Urahara's Shop, training by the feel of the pulsating reiatsu. Not surprisingly, Sado was there too. At least the two of them had the right idea. Especially after the encounter with the Arrancar last week, it was obvious they needed to be stronger. Aizen's army was disgustingly strong. It would be a close fight, in the end.

And Matsumoto was in the shopping district. Tōshirō hoped the stores were open that early on a Sunday morning. At least the vice-captain was in her gigai. Somehow, Tōshirō knew that sneaking into stores in her Shinigami form to get the best deals wasn't beyond the woman.

He stared at the drifting clouds, watched as the rushing river below glinted under the morning sun. To his left, the soccer field lay just out of his peripheral view but he was distinctly aware of its presence. The deep crater and chunks of upturned earth remained as they had been from the afternoon before. It was yet another thing Tōshirō would have to take care of, before he left. It wouldn't do to leave the destruction of hollow attacks for the humans to deal with. Especially when, by the time all this was over, there was a distinct chance of the town being reduced to rubble with how people like Ichigo, Renji, Madarame fought…

The 10th division captain hoped that all damages not directly related to him or Matsumoto would come out of someone else's division budget.

It was then that he thought back to Ichigo's sister, and how she had attacked the hollow with a soccer ball. She was _obviously_ in the dark about most Shinigami workings, yet she had remarkable control over her reiatsu. Kurosaki Karin was an enigma, and completely untapped talent. Somehow he had the feeling that she could upset some kind of balance…

Duty-wise, he knew he had to report her. Only as a last resort though, he promised himself. Only at the end of his assignment, whenever that was. And only if Kurosaki Karin proved to be out of control, a true threat to the balance. He doubted that any resolution Yamamoto-sōtaichō came up with would satisfy the two Shinigami Kurosakis. And while Tōshirō respected the old man, and was well aware of his own personal duty as a captain of the Gotei 13… Surely it was only natural for the youngest captain to have_ some_ doubts about the decisions the captain commander made…

Sometime in the near future, Tōshirō resolved to have a serious conversation with Kurosaki-Taichō. Surely the man would understand the situation with Karin, especially now that he appeared to have regained enough of his reiryoku to sense and control reiatsu…

**[C]**

"[**A**]nd what about you?" A low growl echoed in his ear.

"What about me?" Tōshirō said out loud when he opened his eyes to the familiar arctic wasteland. "It's not like you, to pull me into my soul without warning."

An all too familiar red-eyed dragon merely regarded him in silence.

"What do you think of Kurosaki Karin?" Tōshirō asked after a pause.

A puff of smoke escaped the dragon's nose as it grunted. "I know what I think, but I don't think you're ready to understand what I think."

The boy nodded, contemplative. He understood enough of his relationship with his zanpakutō to accept the dragon's evasive mannerisms. "How much is there that I could understand right now?"

"You already recognized her response to your reiatsu," the low growling voice whispered. "Don't dismiss it."

"I trust you," Tōshirō said simply.

"I know you do," came the reply. "And that is why I offer you this to consider: Trust your instincts."

The boy frowned.

"You are capable of seeing the truth in things. You are not rash, master. But like everyone else, you are clouded by emotions, uncertainty, constructs of conventional truth and thought. I am _absolute_."

"And so, like describing the cold to someone who has only known heat…" the boy murmured, "…they have to be receptive to the unknown; They have to be willing turn their world upside down, change how they see the world." He raised his eyes to the dragon, turquoise eyes capturing red. "Hyōrinmaru, will I see?"

"You have a willing heart." The voice echoed in Tōshirō's head. "And that is a start."

**[C]**

[**K**]arakura town swam back into view. Suddenly restless, Tōshirō stood up, and decided to head back to the soccer field.

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_And that ends chapter 3! Little bit of foreshadowing, did you notice? What do you think is going to happen next? Love it? Hate it? Are feeling 'Meh' about it? I want to know!_


	4. Chapter 4

_17 reviews, for chapter 3, which is more than the reviews I'd gotten for chapter 1 and 2, combined. I'm floored, and so _immensely_ grateful for everyone who put in the time to leave me a review. _THANK YOU SO MUCH! _I suppose this is what happens, when I plug for reviews in the end. But hey, it made me insanely happy to receive them, gave me a chance to thank everyone who responded (who weren't anonymous) and get to know some of my readers. Plus, it meant I'm that much more motivated to update despite having a final tomorrow…. (Procrastination, what?)_

_More from Tōshirō's point of view today. There needs to be a little more development, and this chapter may once again come across as a little slow moving. I'm sorry! Nevertheless, I hope the chapter is still enjoyable. Things should pick up again next week!_

_As always, I own nothing. If I did, I'd have given Ichimaru Gin more screen time. Fascinated by the possibilities of him and Matsumoto's relationship. Hmmm…_

_

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**[C]**_  
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[**H**]e woke to an oddly familiar voice.

"Tōshirō! What are you doing, sleeping here?"

Tōshirō found himself staring into a pair of familiar, dusky gray eyes. "Kurosaki," he acknowledged. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" The girl demanded. "I came looking for my ball, since I realized I left it behind yesterday. Then I looked over, and found you sleeping in a _tree_, hugging _my_ soccer ball."

"Oh," he said, realizing he was indeed hugging the ball. He flushed, and handed it off to the girl who was standing on the branch below him.

"Here," he looked away as soon as he passed the ball off, hoping the girl didn't see his blush.

"Why are you sleeping here, anyway?" She asked. "And what's with the clothes? Did you go home at all last night? I thought you said you were staying at Orihime-chan's apartment."

"It's called a nap," he said drolly. There was no need to remind her that growing children needed their sleep. _She _was bound to make fun of him for it. "And my clothes are clean, thank you."

Without a backwards glance, he hopped off the branch, landing lightly on his feet.

"Tōshirō, wait!" The girl called.

He stopped, but didn't turn around. He could hear the scrabbling of feet against bark, as the girl climbed down. Perhaps it would be good for him to teach her how to use reiatsu for such situations, he thought. He quickly dismissed that idea. The girl was a Kurosaki after all, and related to Ichigo. There was no knowing what kind of trouble she'd get herself into, using her reiatsu to bolster movement or cushion blows.

"Are you coming to the movies with us?" She asked. "Rangiku stopped by just now, said you were coming. Honestly though, I think she was lying."

He sighed. "Who knows?"

The girl frowned. "You always say that," she accused. "Though, I wouldn't blame you for skipping. Yuzu picked the movie, and if not for wanting to make her happy, I'd be hiding out here, too."

He didn't know what to say. Go away, shut up, whatever… those responses worked with Matsumoto. Somehow, he doubted they would work on the girl next to him. Instead, he tried a dismissive, "Well, try to have fun."

"I need to know," she said, catching his arm. "Rangiku insists you're going, and knowing otou-san, he'll buy the tickets a couple hours in advance, so we get good seats. If you're not, I'll tell otou-san not to bother. As it is, he's attempting to make today extra special, since Rangiku started squealing about never seeing a movie before. Plus," she said in a softer voice, "Yuzu was crying again."

"Is the movie really that terrible?" He asked. He had already planned on showing up, but it couldn't hurt to know what kind of horrors lay in store for him.

"Oh, it's the worst," Karin said cheerfully. "Like I said, Yuzu picked the movie, so it's either going to be some animated show about fluffy animals, or the latest romance comedy. But," she added as an afterthought, "we usually get to go to the arcade after. Even Ichi-nii likes the arcade."

"When do I have to decide?" He asked her.

She glanced up at the sky. "Well, it's about noon right now, and I was going to meet Otou-san and Yuzu for lunch. So, now, really. Or you could always come to lunch with me, and decide then."

He stared at her. "There's no way I'm getting out of the movie, if I meet your father for lunch."

She smiled. "I know! But it means I'll have someone to suffer with me. I have a feeling Rangiku's going to be every bit as enthusiastic as Yuzu and Otou-san about the movie, I need someone who _won't_ gush about it afterwards."

"You're going to owe me," he muttered.

"I know," she said. "Come on, wanna head over there early? I rather we pick a spot that's as secluded from the rest of the public as possible. Otou-san and public places…" the girl shuddered.

In spite of himself, Tōshirō found his lips curling up in a smirk.

Wordlessly, they cut across town, the only sound that of busy traffic and their shoes scuffing against the pavement. Thankful for the silence, Tōshirō turned back to his thoughts. His instincts, Hyōrinmaru had said. What did his instincts tell him? Earlier, it was easy enough to follow his gut feeling to return to the soccer field, and he had found the soccer ball with the faintest residue of the girl's reiatsu coating it. That had answered some of his questions, about the girl's control. And especially now, walking by her, it was easy to tell that she had firmly clamped down. It was barely a whisper; He had to consciously search for it. What was it about her, that gave her inherent control over something her brother seemed to lack any sense of.

Now, he thought, if he were to follow his instincts, it would be to ask her precisely that. But he also knew that she wouldn't understand such a question, and so he was at a loss of what to do.

"Oh, Tōshirō," she suddenly said, breaking his train of thought. "Arigato, for the soccer ball. I was worried I'd lost it. If any of the other kids that play out there had seen it, they would probably have stolen it."

He shrugged. "You're welcome," he said. Somehow, he felt like he ought to get to know her better, to _understand Kurosaki Karin_, but he was never one for talking. Glancing at the girl as silence fell over them again, he saw how she seemed awkward around him, as though there were things _she_ wanted to say, and didn't know how.

_Trust your instincts, young master._

"Kurosaki," Tōshirō suddenly said. The girl stared at him with wide eyes, the surprise evident across her face. "Did you…" he suddenly felt stupid. He cut his eyes forward, staring off into the distance. "Did you sleep okay?"

He stole a glance in her direction on the pretense of checking whether the road was clear for crossing. The look of relief on her face was evident.

"Yeah," she said, not looking at him. "I had the weirdest dreams…"

"I see," he said, feeling rather useless. He didn't know the girl well enough to know what the best way to respond.

"Yeah… it was really weird," she said. Her voice had a far-off quality to it. "A woman that formed from shadows and mists… It was like I knew her, from somewhere, but I couldn't see her face. And I knew she was talking, but I could only hear snatches of conversation…"

_That_ drew his interest. "Does this happen often?" He asked with forced casualness. It suddenly clicked, the flaring of reiatsu, the mumbling in her sleep. He _knew_ that Karin had prolonged exposure to reiatsu. He _knew_ precisely how infectious Kurosaki Ichigo's energy was. Did his final burst of reiatsu push the girl over the edge? Tōshirō didn't even know if it was _possible_ for a human to awaken their zanpakutō, but the conversation she described reminded him remarkably of his own experiences…

_Trust your instincts…_

"Not that I… recall," she said hesitantly. "Maybe I just don't remember." A moment later, she added. "But what was weird was that I dreamt of a violent storm. And I woke up to find it had rained overnight. One of the trees by my house apparently was hit by lightning last night. Half the leaves are gone, and the trunk is charred. I checked the weather report," she said, looking at him intently now. "There wasn't supposed to be rain. The news channels on TV called it a freak flash storm, said it came out of nowhere, and disappeared without a trace. Less than half the town felt it."

They had stopped walking, the two of them just standing there, looking at each other. Karin seemed to snap out of the moment first, and she turned away. Tōshirō thought he saw a faint blush dusted across her lips.

"Sorry," she said. "It's just that it was really weird, and it was on my mind…"

"No, it's okay." He interjected. "Talk, I'll listen. It's what…" the words caught in his throat as he remembered words from ages past.

**[C]**

"_[**W**]hen you're ready to talk, if you want to talk, Hitsugaya-kun, you know where to find me. Or even if you don't want to talk, but just want some company." The 10th division captain smiled at the boy. "You know where to find me."_

_"Taich_ō!" _The boy had said, startled by the kind gesture._

_"Aw, Hitsugaya-kun. It's no big deal. It's what…"_

**[C]**

"[**I**]t's what friends are for, right?" Tōshirō said to Karin casually.

"Friends, Tōshirō?" The girl asked, and for a moment he panicked, thinking he spoke out of place. But then Kurosaki Karin broke into a bright smile, her dark eyes sparkling. "I'm glad you think of me as a friend," she said. "I wasn't sure if it'd be appropriate, you know, presuming that someone as elite, like _you, _would be friends with someone like me."

"Tsk, don't be silly." He said. "Taichōs are people too."

"Shinigami," she corrected. "You're not exactly a _person_, anymore, are you?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Semantics. Besides," he said, before the conversation took to an entirely philosophical topic, one in which he had little interest in, "does it really matter?"

She smirked at that. "No, you're right. It really doesn't."

"So tell me about the dream," he prompted. _This is important_, he thought. _If she is starting to hear her zanpakutō's call… Kurosaki-taichō will need to know of this, if he doesn't already._

"There's really nothing much to add," she said. "Just this overwhelming sensation of wind rushing past, and the moon high overhead."

"Sounds scary."

"Yeah… for a little bit. But then…" And this time Tōshirō saw the blush clearly; Even the tips of her ears peeking out from under her hair were red. She avoided looking at him. "Then… it was like I could feel you next to me… and… she said, '… Good, he's watching over you… Don't lose him…'"

Was this what Hyōrinmaru was talking about? The thing he wasn't ready for? Because Tōshirō's first instinct was to roll his eyes, and huff out, "Shut up, Matsumoto. I don't care about your romance novels." It sounded like sappy nonsense, and involving him… when he had no desire about anything remotely _romantic_. But, he realized immediately after, neither did the girl next to him. Hadn't she complained about the horrors of romance movies earlier?

_I have to keep an open mind,_ he reminded himself. _Especially if this is what Hyōrinmaru was hinting at…_

Still, the idea of something sappy and sentimental, involving him, made him shudder.

"What do you make of it?" He asked.

The girl looked at him in surprise then, and he knew then that she had expected him to laugh, or brush her aside.

"I don't know," she said. She took a deep breath, and when she spoke again her voice was steadier. "I mean, it's just a dream, right? Cause," and now her voice was adamant. "I'm in _no_ way the sappy type. Maybe one of those sappy TV serials Yuzu watches was on rerun when I fell asleep in front of the TV, invaded my subconscious or something…"

"Kurosaki," Tōshirō started to say, but he realized that they were close to their destination. He knew he _ought_ to let her know what happened with her last night, but wasn't quite sure how to say it. And now that they had reached the restaurant the girl had mentioned, he didn't think it was wise to bring it up. The last thing he wanted was to have Matsumoto barge into the conversation, hear about what Kurosaki's zanpakutō had said, and form some wild theory.

"Karin," she girl said firmly. He raised an eyebrow, unsure of why she was telling him her name. "Call me Karin," she said restated. "You realize you know three Kurosakis, four, if you count Yuzu, right? Referring to me as Kurosaki is confusing. Besides," she said brightly, if not with the slightest of hesitance. "We're friends. And friends call friends by their first names."

He didn't bother pointing out what none of her soccer friends called her anything _but_ Kurosaki, and that it only when Kurosaki-Taichō had addressed her, that he learned her given name. But seeing the look in her eyes made him decide that it wasn't a good time to point out that he really rather be called Hitsugaya, especially since his offer of friendship.

"Yeah, right. Karin." He said experimentally. The name rolled off his tongue easily, despite the awkwardness he was expecting. "Is this the place?" He nodded in the direction of the flashy store in front of them.

"Yup!" She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. "It's American fast food, the only type of stuff Yuzu doesn't cook. It's really unhealthy for you, but tastes _so_ good." She grabbed a pamphlet from the front of the counter where a series of cash registers were set up. "Let's grab a seat, and I can tell you about the menu."

He allowed himself to be led to the far back of the restaurant, close to, he noted, the public restrooms. But it was away from the rest of the families gathered, and being the first to arrive allowed him to pick the seat that had his back facing the wall, giving him a good view of his surroundings.

"Don't look so cautious," she laughed at him. "If anything's going to hurt us, we'll feel it before it comes crashing in. Oh stop!" She cried, swatting him on the arm as he continued to stare incredulously at one family in particular. "It's just a four year old kid. He's not going to hurt us."

Tōshirō eyed the screaming child who had viscous red sauce splattered all over his body. "I don't know," the Shinigami captain said dubiously. "I think my head might explode from the noise."

Karin sighed, and slid a folded piece of paper over to him. "This is more of a nutritional guide than a menu, but it tells you everything they sell here. Everything _essentially_ is the same. It's just a matter of what you have in it." Karin proceeded to describe the basic burger to him, discretely pointing out what it looked like, along with what to expect withfrench-fries and chicken nuggets.

His head was spinning, whether it was from the smell of grease, the screaming children, or the overload of information, by the time Kurosaki-Taichō and his daughter Yuzu arrived.

Tōshirō watched in amusement as the dark haired Kurosaki girl greeted her father with a kick that sent the man stumbling down the hallway and through the door marked "Men".

"Karin-chan!" Yuzu sat down next to Karin and greeted them brightly, seemingly unaffected by the sudden disappearance of her father. "Hitsugaya-san! You really came! I thought Rangiku-san was just making that up."

The boy shrugged, and did his best to keep a polite mask on his face while Karin snickered. Yuzu was talking excitedly, gushing about the movie she had picked out.

It sounded, just as Karin described, absolutely horrible. It was an _animated romantic comedy_, the worst of both worlds. Suddenly, he was very glad that Karin would be understanding, and sharing, his agony.

"Matsumoto's here," he said to Karin a few moments into the movie synopsis. "I don't suppose I could convince you to fend her off?"

The girl only had time to turn wide eyes at him, before the all-too-familiar "Taichō!" rang out, and suddenly Tōshirō found himself shoved into the corner of the booth, his vice-captain's body pressed up against him in a hug.

"Stop it!" He growled, wrestling himself out of her grasp.

"But Taichō! I'm glad you came! And for lunch too!"

_Now _Karin was laughing outright at him. Tōshirō couldn't do anything more than cover his face in his hands. He could see Kurosaki-Taichō emerge from the Mens' Room with an energetic bounce, and knew that lunch was going to be a very, very long affair.

**[C]**

"[**H**]ey, think anyone would notice if we slipped off to play soccer?" Karin whispered to him. They were wedged in the middle of the theatre aisle, Matsumoto on Tōshirō's right, Yuzu and Kurosaki-Taichō on Karin's left, with another five or so strangers on either side of them.

"If only," he whispered back.

Several mind-numbing minutes passed, and Tōshirō found himself wishing for a sudden hollow attack, even if the damn thing had to tear through the theatre, just so the torture could end.

_Follow your instincts_, his zanpakutō had told him. His instinct at the moment was to abandon his gigai and make for the exit, but he knew that wasn't quite what the dragon spirit had in mind.

"Oh dear _god_," Karin suddenly cried, and balled up in the chair, her face buried between her knees. "They're _kissing. _And this is why I hate these movies. Things like these should be kept _private_."

He couldn't help but agree with her. The entire theatre was full of people squealing in delight at the two main characters declaration of love, which_ of course_ included things highly inappropriate for the public eye. And to think that people sat down and _drew_ all of these scenes…

"K.. Karin," Tōshirō finally whispered back, horrified. "They're _rabbits_. How is this _normal_?"

The girl peeked up from where she was hiding, and gave him a dark look. "Judging by the audience response, if you're around, a year from now, you'll be watching part 2. Just be glad Rukia-nee-san isn't here."

Next to him, Matsumoto let out a loud squeal, grabbing his hand and whispering eagerly, "Look! Aren't they so cute! Hitsugaya Taichō! Why can't you be all sweet like that?"

With a barely repressed shudder, Tōshirō pulled his feet up onto the edge of the chair, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead against his knees.

"I hate my life," he groaned.

"At least you don't do this every other week," Karin pointed out.

**[C]**

[**B**]y dinner time, Tōshirō was exhausted. As Karin had predicted, after the awful movie, the group had proceeded to the local arcade. The flashing lights and loud noises had been a little too much to handle, at first. But with coaxing from all sides, Tōshirō reluctantly found himself trying out different machines. He was glad that Karin was there; the girl was sensible, and veered him away from the ridiculous things Matsumoto tried to force on him. The idea of waving his hands about and dancing in the middle of a public area was _not_ his idea of a fun time.

More than once, Tōshirō caught Kurosaki-Taichō watching him with a knowing smile. There was one particular incident that stood out in his mind. He and Karin had somehow ended up in squabble, strangely reminiscent to how he and Momo used to act. Karin, he was sure, had started the argument about who was better than whom, after they were still stuck at a 0:0 draw ten minutes into a strange game involving a flat circular disk they hit back and forth across a table. Kurosaki-Taichō had just stood there, a soft, nostalgic look on his face. Tōshirō later realized that perhaps this was how Ichigo acted with the more violent sister. Surely, though, that type of argument would have come to blows. Somehow, he knew that Karin would have won _that._

But now, it was dinner time, and all the girls were in the kitchen back at the Kurosaki's house. Matsumoto had been _too_ eager to help Yuzu cook, and Karin, possibly catching his look of distress, declared she was going to supervise. Now it was just him and Kurosaki-Taichō sitting on the sofa, the TV on but muted.

"Arigato, Hitsugaya-kun," the man said quietly.

Startled, Tōshirō turned to his once mentor.

"For taking care of Karin," Isshin clarified. "She's been doing better, since she met you earlier this week."

"Taichō?" He asked, confused. He had run into the girl on Wednesday, when she had almost lost her ball. But they hadn't exchanged more than two words until Saturday…

"I knew you were in town as soon as you arrived. And it wouldn't be like me to let my children go wandering off during the day unsupervised. Karin is hard to keep track of, because she's emits barely any reiatsu, and over such long distances, too. But I knew when she ran into you, because I could feel her reaction. Karin has always been able to keep a tight lid on her reiatsu. She used to believe in firmly ignoring the things she saw, and with that, it helped her keep her reiatsu very, very tightly sealed. Since Ichigo met Rukia, however, Karin's been struggling to deal with her own sudden increase. I suppose she picked up all of my control, and Ichigo all of my recklessness, because in that sense, the two of them are very different.

"It was why I knew to watch her closely, that day. Only something truly startling would set her off, and you did, twice. And every single day after that."

"I never talked to her, on Friday," Tōshirō said. "I watched her, because I was curious – she had warned me away from the hollow that the detector had picked up…"

The smile on the former captain's face was disconcerting. "Yes, but you were close enough that she _felt_ you, on some unconscious level. And that was enough to have her reiatsu to react. And I don't know why, but she was smiling, more. Said something about having a good feeling about things."

"What are you saying, Kurosaki-Taichō?"

"I'm saying you should watch how you react around her. There has to be a reason her reiatsu flares around you. And I've seen enough of the two of you interacting to know it's not from any kind of superficial emotion. Certainly it isn't from some kind of school girl crush Karin-chan's developed on you-"

"What?"

"-because, while she's getting close to that age, Karin's not at all interested in boys yet. So it has to be something deeper. And how she responded to your reiatsu yesterday only furthered my suspicions."

"Suspicions?"

The man shook his head. "Let me keep that to myself, for the time being. I don't know enough to say anything for certain, and I definitely don't know enough to be willing to tell you, because you aren't ready for it, yet. At least not until it's concrete and you've no choice but to accept…"

Tōshirō felt a strange sense of déjà vu. "Just… Follow my instincts?" He asked, tentatively.

"You've been talking to Hyōrinmaru, haven't you? That's a good thing," Isshin nodded. "Listen to your zanpakutō's advice. That's one of the benefits of having one, and one of the main reasons why I have _always_ advocated for you to maintain a dialog with him. Our zanpakutō is a part of our soul. They are essentially the pure form of who _we_ are. Understand Hyōrinmaru, and you learn to better understand yourself."

"And I should never enter the battlefield without a clear sense of who I am, and what I want to achieve. Indecision can be deadly."

"I taught you well," the man said, grasping Tōshirō's shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze. "If I were to return to the Gotei 13 again, it would be an honor to serve under you."

"Taichō!" Tōshirō gasped, his mouth falling open as he turned to stare at Kurosaki Isshin.

"Ahh, Hitsugaya-kun. I'm too old to want to take up the responsibilities of captaincy again. I much rather sit back in the barracks until the action happens. Besides, being Taichō means I'll be stuck with paperwork."

"You're the one that recommended Matsumoto for promotion to fukutaichō! You worked with her! You should know you brought it on yourself, to do all the paperwork!"

"But Hitsugaya-kun, I never did any paperwork. Matsumoto knew I was too much like Shunsui to ever get anything done, so she ploughed through all the work."

Tōshirō's hands curled into fists before he could help himself, and he glared at his former captain. "You tell me that _now! Now! _After I've done _all_ the paper work since you left."

The man chuckled. "What can I say? Matsumoto learned from the best."

When he felt Karin's reiatsu flicker, Tōshirō clamped down on his emotions, and his own energy, hard. He watched as Kurosaki Isshin got up, laughing, and announced that dinner would be ready shortly.

**[C]**

* * *

_So,more mention of Karin's possible zanpakutō. I know there's been speculation. Maybe we'll find out more next chapter. Who knows? I do know that we'll at least figure out part of what's going on between Karin and T__ōshirō, that their zanpakutō have been hinting at. It would be fun to watch their reactions, at least, when they find out._

_So once again, you know the drill. Let me know what you think. Yell if it's awful, I don't mind, just qualify the argument. Or even just say hi, if you've nothing to say at all. I love to chat – about bleach, or about anything in general, really. Right now the topic I'm up to my eyeballs in, is the religious aspects of Daoism in China. Doubt that many people care to hear about it, but I can always rattle off random facts, if you're curious. _

_Much love! Till next week! _


	5. Chapter 5

_THANK YOU, to all my reviewers! I wasn't expecting the response, and I'm both surprised and pleased by the positive feedback still. So many many thanks, and much love. To the people who have added me to their story alert or favorite stories list, hello! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far!  
_

_In celebration of the first two As this quarter, here's the chapter early. It's a little shorter than normal, but there wasn't any better way of parsing chapters.  
_

_I struggled with this chapter when editing it because I wasn't sure I was entirely in Karin's head and writing precisely as she should react. Hopefully she's sufficiently in character, and the latest development keeps the story interesting. In the next couple of chapters, things will be a little more intense, at least emotionally. Both T__ōshirō and Karin have some soul-searching to do. _

_I hope you enjoy this next chapter._

_Bleach doesn't belong to me._

_

* * *

_

**[C]**

[**T**]uesdays, Karin thought, were the worst day of the week.

It was true that on Mondays, she always had trouble readjusting to the crush of people, the trivial school drama and the mindless schoolwork. But by Tuesday, the horror of the school week would have set in, along with the knowledge that there were, including that particular day, four more days of torture before the blessed weekend.

School bored Karin. It wasn't that she was a bad student, it was that she got restless easily. She hated the strict environment, the dry material, all the memorization that was involved. She'd much rather be out in the field playing soccer, or heck, even in her father's clinic playing nurse, and seeing how much medical knowledge she had accumulated in the years of assisting him.

And this particular Tuesday was exceptionally bad. Since Saturday, she had had those intensely vivid dreams, where she was caught up in the whirlwind, with a shadow shrouded figure barely feet from her, whispering fragmented sentences in a haunting voice that Karin could barely hear.

And what she could hear confused her. The constant repetition of the holding onto some guardian and the mystery about some dragon being the key was flat out _weird_. She always woke up exhausted, out of sorts, often with a headache. And always, she woke to a vague sensation she could only label as _T__ōshirō_, although she knew that it was a ridiculous notion.

If only she could blame it on her father (like the time when Yuzu was sick, and Kurosaki Isshin decided it would be fun to make onigiri in the brunette's stead, only to somehow give the entire family sans Yuzu such severe food poisoning that Karin found herself hallucinating). Dangerously high fevers and throwing up bile was almost preferable to what was happening to herself now. At least, when she was sick, she _knew_ what was wrong, and had someone who could _treat _the condition. This time, however, Karin had no clue as to what was happening to her, beyond that it somehow had to do with the Shinigami and the spiritual world, and all that craziness her brother was involved in. She was too young to go crazy._ Certainly_, Karin thought, _I'm far too sensible to allow myself to become lost in all these… spiritual affairs that have nothing to do with an eleven year old kid._

It was the start of her last class, a double period of Japanese. They were discussing some classical piece and its basic literary elements, part of the school board's efforts to ensure each child was well versed in their cultural history. Karin, exhausted from the nights of odd dreams, and bored out of her mind with the teacher reading out loud in a monotonous voice, drifted off…

**[C]**

…[**A**]nd she was suddenly standing in the middle of the pitch black emptiness, staring at a shifting, twisting shadowy figure that seemed to be illuminated from within. The hauntingly beautiful voice echoed in her ears again, the sweetest of caresses, half the words lost to the howling wind:

"He… awoke.. The key to-… Karin… Karin… -our soul… "

This time, there was no soothing presence to keep the wind in check. Fear gripped Karin's heart and squeezed, _hard_. She felt like she would be swallowed up by the intensity of the storm, having no way to control it. Karin didn't understand how, or _why_, but she knew it – the storm – was desperately searching for something. And she was terrified that the madness, the devastation of the storm, would not stop until it found what it was searching for.

"What is going on?" She tried to ask. She knew her mouth formed the words, but the sounds were carried off with the wind. "Who are you? What do you want?"

The echoing, lilting voice stopped. For a blessed moment, the dark void stood still as the wind died to nothingness.

Then Karin found herself being thrown back and swept up by a blast of icy cold air.

The room, if she was in a room, swirled. Wind tossed her body about like a rag doll; There was nothing soft about falling out of a gust of air, only to be buffeted in another direction by another strong rush of wind.

And the voice was back, loud and insistent, desperately pleading. "Don't lose him."

Karin felt thunder roll across the emptiness, the immensity of it shaking her to the core. Her vision swam as lightning flashed, silver and violet streaks that caused her to go momentarily blind with the heat and light. Then…

Then it stopped, and the winds died.

Even as Karin found herself falling through the void, down into the endless darkness, she knew Tōshirō was near, somehow.

The voice whispered again, a satisfied sigh. "He _completes _me_."_

**[C]**_  
_

[**K**]arin woke, gasping.

The entire class was in disarray, the lesson interrupted by the freak storm that had descended over the school. Deafening, the sound of wind and thunder and the violent pelting of rain against the windowpanes and rooftops drowned out the clamor of voices. Then the power went out, and over the growling thunder, it seemed as though the entire city echoed with screams.

Karin knew, on some deep, basic level, that she was the cause of the storm. She fell out of her chair, when she heard that haunting voice whisper in her head. _"Good. You're starting to realize…"_

"Karin-chan!" She heard Yuzu call, and Karin looked up to see her twin leaning over hear, terror evident in her watery brown eyes. "Are you okay, Karin-chan?" Her sister asked, and Karin knew that Yuzu was looking for comfort of some sort.

"Yeah, yeah I am," Karin said distractedly. She climbed back to her feet, and pulled her chair closer to Yuzu so her sister could hold onto her arm.

Karin could feel Tōshirō, and she knew he was close. She didn't understand what was happening, why there was this sudden subconscious obsession with the white-haired boy. She didn't understand why she was so attuned to him, and couldn't pinpoint when that connection had happened. She didn't understand why it had to be _him_, what the significance was. All she knew was that somehow, god knew how, she had managed to cause a hell of a thunderstorm. And if the boy could fix it, Karin wasn't about to complain.

Lightning flashed as it struck a tree outside. The light was blinding. A moment later, the very windowpanes rattled as thunder roared. The faint, pungent odor of something – ozone? Ammonia? Karin couldn't remember – seeped into the room.

Karin needed to gain control over the storm. Tōshirō obviously wasn't getting to her fast enough, if he even was the key. Gnawing on her lower lip, she searched her brain frantically for a solution.

_What was it that Tōshirō had said, about Ichi-nii? Something about the inability to control reiatsu…_ Karin wondered if that was what had happened, that she had lost control.

With Yuzu gripping her hand tightly, Karin closed her eyes, and tried to relax. She took several long, deep breaths, hoping to find her center, or whatever that zen thing was, that people practiced. Unbidden, the sight of startling blue-green eyes came into view, and Karin's eyes snapped open.

_He was there_, she realized. _Finally._

The boy was standing, in full Shinigami regalia, just inside of the classroom door. His were lips moving, hands gesturing, but Karin couldn't hear the words. Then a beam of light shot out from an open palm, and she felt a cool, sweet, and familiar energy wrap around her. Her headache eased immediately.

She heard the teasing purr in her head again and felt a deep seated satisfaction in her core. "Good," that nameless figure that haunted her dreams, the woman wrapped in shadows and mist whispered. "They hear our call."

"Tōshirō?" Karin said, and Yuzu stirred.

"What, Karin-chan? Did you say something about Hitsugaya-san?"

Karin merely shook her head, her eyes fixed intently on the boy who was watching her with careful, guarded eyes, his lips turned down in a frown. Around them, the class was settling down as the worst of the storm seemed to subside, and the teacher was trying to calm down the bunch of 11 year olds that apparently still had hidden fears of thunderstorms.

Karin wanted to get up, to go to him, to talk to him. _He_ was the key, he was the answer. Wasn't that what the voice was trying to say? Never mind how ridiculous it all seemed. Karin _knew_ he was the crux of the matter. And _this… _This crazy dream thing she had been having, the storms… they had to stop.

"Yuzu," Karin started to say, but the girl only clung on harder.

"Stay with me a little bit longer, Karin-chan," the girl said. She was crying.

Karin could only nod and comply with her sister's request. She looked helplessly at Tōshirō. _Stay, _she tried to tell him silently. _I need to talk to you_, she pleaded with her eyes.

He appeared to nod, still looking at her with that serious, perplexed expression, eyebrows furrowed.

Then Karin felt the thick despair in the air, of death and destruction, and knew a hollow was in the vicinity.

_Did it come because of me?_ She wondered.

There was no way a Shinigami captain could have missed the overpowering feel of the creature. Tōshirō's expression hardened and his hand instinctively went for his katana. But his eyes still held hers. Something she saw in the sea-green depths told her he would be back. Then he melted from sight.

It was still raining outside, a heavy downpour, but the lightning and thunder were no longer. In an attempt to clear her mind, to calm down, to distract herself, Karin turned her attention to her classmates.

The teacher was occupied with the three or four girls that had gathered by her, seeking comfort. Others students were bunched in groups of two or three, whispering among themselves. One particularly resourceful boy had some handheld game device in hand, completely oblivious to the rest of the world, his face alit from the glow of the game screen. But when she turned away from the boy, a faint light flickered in her periphery. She turned, startled, only to find that the light moved with her. She looked down. A shimmering glow was wrapped around her hand. It was a pale, icy blue. On further inspection, Karin realized _all_ of her was glowing.

This, she realized, was the reason she constantly felt Tōshirō wrapped around her in the mornings. He _cast some kind of spell_, she thought. _Like how Otou-san healed my knee on Saturday. And this isn't the first time T_ōshirō_'s done it…_

If she paid attention, she could feel his energy roll over her skin with liquid ease, cool to the touch. She didn't have to pay attention to notice how that something inside her was responding. The warm wash of energy within her was circulating, swimming through her body, diffusing from her skin, rolling against the barrier, and seeping back into her core, bringing a little bit of… Tōshirō back in with it.

_It, _whatever _it_ was, was _positively delighted_ to be trapped inside this cool liquid cocoon.

_It's like I'm possessed_, Karin thought. _Something is _in_ me, and it has an absurd attraction to short boys with white hair and emerald eyes._ She hoped to all hell that _something_ was unnatural, preferably something that could be exorcised, because she certainly did not share the thing's fascination with the boy._ At least not to this… ridiculously destructive extent the thing inside me has resorted to._

Her arm still wrapped around Yuzu, who was hiccupping softly, Karin forced herself to focus inside herself again. From the way the weird energy inside her was coiling underneath the barrier, Karin knew it was meant to keep her reiatsu, or that _thing_, or whatever it was, in. Karin wanted to solve the damn puzzle, preferably soon, because she knew Tōshirō would not always be there to "save her".

And the only lead she had was that mysterious figure that plagued her dreams.

She first tried to imagine a face, a shape, but was met with nothing. Then she remembered the voice, the unmistakable voice that was constantly calling to her. Blocking out the noise of the classroom and the rain, Karin listened…

**[C]**

"[**H**]ello."

The world swirled, and Karin found herself once again standing in the endless darkness. But now, the wind had died to a soft caress of a breeze, and she was mere inches from that mysterious figure that was illuminated by some dark, inner glow.

"Welcome to your soul," the voice whispered. Karin could hear the words, knew they were coming from the woman before her, but it was still too _dark_ for her to really see anything. Almost as though something about this strange… place… knew to read her mind, a faint glow appeared over head. Under the flickering lighting, Karin took the opportunity to look around.

"My… soul?" She asked tentatively, staring in open mouthed wonder at the swirling mass of clouds that she appeared to be standing on. "Is my soul really this _bleak?"_ She blurted out.

Somehow, Karin knew the woman was smiling. "I wouldn't call this bleak, Karin-chan. Look."

The woman raised a hand in a wide, sweeping gesture, revealing pale, porcelain white skin as she did so. Around her, the darkness abated, and as though clouds were parting, millions of stars came into view. Karin found herself surrounded by a dazzling array of iridescent silver, indigo and violet.

She wasn't sure how long she stared, mesmerized, entranced, utterly _captivated_ by the breathtaking view. With the stars came the feeling of absolute serenity, and comfort. She felt as though she could stay here forever, wrapped up in the clouds, watching the stars…

It was with difficulty that she brought her mind back to the pressing issue at hand.

"If… this is my soul," she finally asked, "Who are you?"

Karin could have sworn she saw a flash of white, a fleeting glimpse of teeth as the figure in front of her smiled.

"Why, I'm a part of you too, of course."

"My… subconscious?" Karin asked, not entirely understanding.

"I'm the physical manifestation of your soul. The essential _you_."

Karin could only blink, and frown. She felt like she _ought_ to be able to understand, yet…

"How?" She asked.

"How is this possible? How does one's soul manifest? How does one communicate with their soul?"

Karin nodded dumbly.

"Normally, you wouldn't. But something stirred me, something important enough to have me come into this state of being, far ahead of schedule."

"What was it?" But the girl had a sinking feeling that she already knew the answer.

"Yes," the figure said, acknowledging the name running through Karin's head. "It's so _very_ rare that one meets another person that _resonates_ so strongly… when I first felt him, I thought it was perhaps a dream; you're so prone to dreaming… But the more time you spent, the more aware I became. And I realized it was _him_ that was calling me…"

"Will I remember this," Karin asked tentatively, "when I wake up? Will I be able to talk to him about…" She didn't finish her sentence, the thought of even broaching the subject with a certain blue-eyed boy filling her with dread. She would sound like an idiot. Like one of those characters in Yuzu's romance novels that girls her age shouldn't be reading anyway. Like those stupid women in movies. _No_, Karin realized. _Worse than all of that._

Melodic laughter greeted her. "You'll remember this," the woman reassured her. "And we'll be having many more conversations in the future. You're oddly receptive… And don't worry about the boy. He's felt it too. It's a double-edged blade… The deeper I'm cut…"

The woman stopped suddenly. "I feel him coming, so it's time you return to the real world."

"H… how do I…?"

Again, the laughter. "Open your eyes, Karin-chan."

**[C]**

[**S**]he blinked, and the room swam back into view. Karin had no idea how much time had passed, but electricity was back in the room, and everyone was packing up. A glance at the clock told Karin class was almost over. Outside, sun was starting to peek through the clouds. It was like nothing had ever happened.

She looked around and frowned when she didn't catch the mop of white hair. Didn't the woman said Tōshirō was coming?

"Karin-chan!" Yuzu said, tears gone. "Let's go home before it starts raining again."

Karin could only nod, absentmindedly sweeping everything into her backpack.

What had the woman said about feeling him? How was she supposed to feel him, when it _already_ felt as though he was around her? Karin stared down at the pale shimmering glow that surrounded her body.

For a moment, she was tempted to try and break the barrier somehow. Then she shook her head, deciding it wouldn't be proper to try and test the limits of the field around her. After all, she was convinced he had set it up to keep her reiatsu in check. Considering she was – no, her _soul – _was somehow causing the freak thunderstorms around town, it probably was not a good idea for her to break the barrier…

She was still wondering where Tōshirō was, when she and Yuzu stepped out of the school building, so lost in her own thoughts that Yuzu had to steer her away from the large puddles of water and fallen tree branches.

"Karin-chan!" Yuzu exclaimed, was gripping her arm tightly. "Is that…?" She started to ask, surprise evident in her eyes.

Tōshirō looked utterly relaxed, the picture of carefree nonchalance. He was leaning against the side of the school gate, one hand shoved in his pocket, the other playing with that damnable phone. Karin could see the crest embroidered on his vest, the familiar insignia of Ichi-nii's high school.

_Well,_ she thought wryly, _no one seeing him could argue that he's an elementary kid… since he is technically wearing a high school uniform…_ But somehow Karin knew the boy was truly older than even that. After all, he had known her father from ages past, before Otou-san had met Okaa-san…

As though he felt her presence, Tōshirō looked up. The phone disappeared into a pocket in his pants, and he pushed himself away from the gate in a single fluid movement.

"Kurosaki-kun, Karin," he acknowledge.

"Hitsugaya-san!" Yuzu returned the greeting. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

The boy shrugged as he fell into step with the two girls. "I was going to visit your father. When I passed the school, I thought I might walk back with you."

"Oh," Yuzu said, seemingly satisfied by the answer. Then she frowned. "But, Hitsugaya-san, don't you end school an hour after us?"

Karin had to congratulate Tōshirō's quick thinking. "They let us out early, because of the storm."

Yuzu was aghast. "They let you out _during_ the storm?"

"Ah, no. They wanted us home, in case it started up again and we were stranded."

The girl nodded, completely oblivious to the looks Karin was exchanging with the Shinigami taichō.

The walk home was mostly uneventful, the peaceful silence interrupted only by Yuzu's exclamations over the damage from the storm, and the quiet murmurs Tōshirō and Karin made in response. In front of the Kurosaki clinic, they stopped.

"Ah, I should go in and start working on Otou-san's lunch," Yuzu said.

"Go ahead, Yuzu-chan. I'll see if Otou-san needs help in the clinic," Karin offered helpfully.

It was only when the front door closed shut that Karin turned to the boy.

"We need to talk," she said, feeling awkward, and annoyed at the fact that she felt awkward. She was more than frustrated, however, at the _necessity_ of the talk.

She could feel his eyes on her, studying her intently. "We do," he agreed, voice carefully guarded. "And I've a feeling your father's waiting to talk to us."

If Karin wasn't already feeling awful, the thought that Kurosaki Isshin was eagerly anticipating a talk with her had Karin feeling positively nauseated.

"We should go inside," he said, tilting his head in the direction of the clinic.

"W-with… otou-san?" Karin stammered. "_Now?_" The last word was more of a squeak, testament to precisely how panicked Karin was starting to feel.

"I'm positive," Tōshirō said, "We'll need his input on what to do about your reiatsu. He knows we're outside."

"You don't understand if you think that! You don't want Otou-san to hear all this!" Karin cried, trying to stall.

Tōshirō unceremoniously grabbed her wrist, and with more strength than a boy his size ought to possess, hauled her through the door of the Kurosaki clinic towards pending doom.

**[C]**

* * *

_So! Another chapter down! How was it? What do you think? Still haven't quite revealed her zanpakut__ō's abilities or anything yet, but hey, I gave you something else! :X__Sorry about that. _

_**Also!**_

_Next week, December 20__th__is listed as Hitsugaya T__ōshirō's birthday. As such, I've decided that a birthday drabble in his honor is in order. What type of drabble would you like to see? Give me a challenge. I'm curious myself to see how far I can stretch (and improve) my writing with exercises like this. I'm also wondering how possible it would be to pick a random suggestion, word, theme, or phrase etc from what you reviewers suggest and incorporate it into each week's chapter, sort of like a hidden easter egg, given it doesn't detract from the story. Let me know if you think I can pull it off, if you want to give suggestions, or anything for that matter. I love hearing from all of you readers. I especially appreciate corrections if I deviated from canon - PLEASE let me know. I've been trying very hard to keep this in line with canon. The best part of last week was receiving reviews and replying to them. Such a welcome distraction from studying. So thank you! _

_Till Next Week!_


	6. Chapter 6

_As always, my thanks to everyone who reviewed. To the two anon reviewers chibi chan and roselris: many thanks for your kind words and suggestions. I hope I thanked everyone else who reviewed personally. If I didn't, you're entitled to yell at me and tell me I'm a bad person :(  
_

_Also, I posted the drabble, although it's sorta on the long side for a drabble (which I guess is typical for me). Check it out, if you like. It's called _Glitter, _and is meant to be set after Catalyst, in December. I can't remember exactly what month episode 132 was in, but I'm assuming it was July/Aug... so a couple of months have passed at least._

_A couple of people expressed their interest in seeing what happens when Isshin becomes involved. I feel kinda bad, cause there really isn't much Isshin in this chapter. I tried, and it always ended the same way. He starts becoming ridiculous, and Karin hits him, end of story. _

_This chapter's written from Tōshirō's perspective. It's a little more on the reflective side, but things are about to become quite personal, and he's got to figure out precisely what he makes of Karin._

_Bleach doesn't belong to me. For one, I can't speak Japanese._

_

* * *

_

**[C]**

[**H**]is only thought was simple.

_What?_

Everyone was frozen in place. It was utterly silent. Or perhaps time was standing still. Or maybe, _just _maybe, it was all just a bad dream, and it would all go away if he closed his eyes.

But his hopes were dashed when Kurosaki Isshin suddenly pulled his daughter into a bear hug.

"My darling Karin-chan! And Hitsugaya-kun! I'm so excited!"

"Shut up!" The girl yelled. She struggled free of her father's grasp, and soundly punched him in the jaw.

Tōshirō remained frozen in his chair.

"You feel the truth in her words." he could hear Hyōrinmaru's voice whispering in his mind.

And that was the awful part. He could.

Tōshirō barely registered the argument going on between Karin and her father over the sound of his beating heart. Right now was one of those rare moments where he found himself at a complete loss of what to do.

The girl's words echoed in his ears.

"_The woman said that… you're supposed to be my soul mate."_

If only he could shrug it off, push it aside. But the look in Kurosaki Karin's eyes told him that she was _deadly_ serious. And it wasn't like the girl to be making such childish fantasies up.

She was right, when she had tried to appeal to him moments earlier at the door. He didn't understand. All he had intended was to discuss the instability of her reiatsu, and the devastating effects it had on everyone around her. Considering the incidents of the past days, Tōshirō knew he had to report her to the captain commander, unless Kurosaki-taichō could come up with some way of keeping Kurosaki Karin in check.

Her revelation had caught him off guard.

But Hyōrinmaru's affirmation shocked Tōshirō to the core.

Really? Soul mates? What kind of… Tōshirō didn't know what to feel. Or think. He felt… numb.

Glancing up, he saw that the girl had effectively put a stop to her father's exaggerated and joyous reaction. Kurosaki Isshin was nursing a visibly bruised cheek, and the girl was clenching and unclenching her fist, watching the man warily.

The awkward silence dragged on, as the father daughter duo settled back uncomfortably into their respective chairs, and Tōshirō suddenly found that _he_ was unable to stand the tension building.

"I'm… impressed that you're able to communicate so clearly with your soul," he said as casually as he could muster. "Kurosaki-taichō always advocated for good communication between a Shinigami and their soul." He could only hope that the attempted compliment would ease a bit of Karin's anxiousness, and the use of the older man's title would remind Isshin of the serious nature of the situation.

"Right," the girl muttered darkly. "'Cause being able to talk with your soul at all is normal."

Tōshirō found that he had no good response to her sarcastic observation. At a loss of what to do, Tōshirō turned his attention to his former captain.

Kurosaki Isshin was deep in thought, one hand rubbing his chin idly as his eyes darted from his daughter to his protégé. Catching the blue-green eyes that were on him, Isshin managed a half smile.

"I hate it when he's right, though. Smug bastard." The man muttered, more to himself than to the other occupants of the room.

That caught both of their attention. Tōshirō was immediately alert, focused intently on Isshin.

"Who?" Karin demanded. "You mean you _knew_? And you didn't do anything to stop it?"

Her father wisely stood up and backed away from the irate girl. "I'm going to make a phone call," the man said. "I knew of the possibility of the situation, but I don't know _about_ the situation. But there's someone who does. And he can explain it better than I can."

The man had backed himself up to the door leading into the house.

"You might want to consult your soul about the unexpected turn of events," the man said, before fleeing behind the door.

_Right_.

If things were awkward a moment ago, the two of them sitting in the middle of the otherwise empty clinic was infinitely worse.

Tōshirō's attempt at conversation earlier was his limit. He didn't know what else to do. But he couldn't quite meet Karin's eyes, or look to see if she was even looking at him, for that matter.

The sound of her voice startled him so badly he actually flinched.

"So there goes my hope that all of this is just a really, really bad dream," she said.

_That was my hope too_, he nearly said.

But he held his tongue, and turned to look at her instead.

Her lips were curled in a wistful smile, her shoulders slumped in what he assumed was resignation.

The word was forming before he quite understood _why_ he was saying it. "Sorry," he started.

"No, don't." Karin was looking at him now, her dark eyes intense. "You didn't do this. You don't owe me an apology. You-" and she bit back a bitter laugh then. "You had no idea. You knew less than I did. A _Shinigami_, knowing less about something spiritual than me." She sat there, chuckling, shaking her head.

The boy felt as though he ought to be offended by her words, but found he wasn't. She was right. He hadn't known. Hadn't listened to Hyōrimaru. Perhaps, he simply had ignored the hints his zanpakutō had offered.

"What do we do now?" She asked quietly, when her broken laughter finally subsided.

"What your father suggested," he said. "Talk to our soul. And… wait. For whoever it is that understands the situation."

She nodded grimly.

Both of them fell silent, as they turned their attention to their inner world. Tōshirō noted how easily Karin fell into the quiet, trance-like state as she reached for her zanpakutō spirit. Then, closing his eyes, he allowed himself to sink into his inner world.

**[C]**

"[**S**]he's special." Hyōrinmaru said without preamble.

The boy could only bite back a sigh, as he opened his eyes to regard the dragon before him. "How?" Tōshirō asked.

It was only a single word, but the spirit knew precisely what Tōshirō meant. "She triggered something. The way she feels woke up this deep, basic instinct."

Hitsugaya Tōshirō, supposed child prodigy, youngest captain of the Gotei 13, could only shake his head in frustration. "But how do you know for sure?"

Large, glowing red eyes pinned Tōshirō with a cold stare. "Because I _know_ you."

That told Tōshirō everything, and nothing. "Why her?" He pressed.

His zanpakutō's answer was a frustratingly oblique, "Because."

The silence grew, as the two of them stared at each other. Surprisingly, it was Hyōrinmaru who broke the silence.

"Young master, it's not the end of the world. Remember why you trust me." The uncharacteristically gentle tone, the _understanding _in the dragon's voice had Tōshirō's eyes widening. "How would I be of any good to you, if I quietly accepted something that would harm your soul, harm you, harm me?"

Once again, there was silence as Tōshirō struggled to quell his own doubts, to regain his unwavering trust in his zanpakutō. _I'm not ready for this_, the Shinigami captain thought. He couldn't help the frustration he felt. _I've worked so hard to be prepared for anything, to prove to everyone that I was not just a mere child, and now this. _For once, Tōshirō found himself wishing for the cluelessness, the simple innocence and blessed naïveté of a child.

"The girl is far younger," Hyōrinmaru commented dryly. "Age has nothing to do with this."

"So… this could have happened tomorrow, or a hundred years from now."

"Whenever it was you finally met her," his spirit confirmed. "I _know_ this is what it is, but I've never experienced it before."

And Hyōrinmaru had been around for longer than Tōshirō had existed. The ice spirit was unique in that it chose its wielder; The dragon was not a pure manifestation stemming from Tōshirō's soul.

_But_, the boy acknowledged, _Hyōrinmaru knows me better than myself._

Still, he couldn't help but feel disquieted by how his millennia old zanpakutō would only experience this now. Had Hyōrinmaru been waiting for Kurosaki Karin? Would they – he – have waited another millennia, if he hadn't picked up her soccer ball that day?

"It's not a bad thing," the dragon reminded the boy. "I'll agree with your assessment that you're not ready for this. But could you ever be ready for something like this?"

Tōshirō found his inner world fading from view. The last thing he heard was his zanpakutō repeating that infuriating phrase: "_Trust your instincts_."

**[C]**

[**W**]hen he opened his eyes, Karin was still talking to her zanpakutō, and a familiar reiatsu was headed in their direction.

Tōshirō bit back a groan. He had had a bad feeling that this was the person Kurosaki-taichō was alluding to. The single being Tōshirō regarded as more purposefully vague and evasive than Hyōrinmaru: Urahara Kisuke.

So much for explanations.

**[C]**

[**I**]t was only when Tōshirō caught the faint look of amusement, the slightest curve of her lips in a smile, that he realized she had not truly smiled all day. Normally she was so… energetic. Optimistic. But really, considering the situation, there was nothing to be happy about. So Tōshirō supposed it was a good thing she was finding even a small amount of humor in the situation, even if it was at Urahara Kisuke's expense.

Tōshirō could tell that she was having trouble taking the man in the floppy hat seriously. He couldn't help but agree; the hat was an utter distraction, and it bothered him that he couldn't see the man's eyes. But in many ways, the hat was testament of Urahara Kisuke's genius. If the man wasn't completely eccentric, he probably wouldn't be half the man he was.

Although, Tōshirō felt that that might have been a good thing.

This second time around, in the presence of Urahara, Karin had managed to retell an abbreviated version of their problem with surprisingly little blushing. And despite her discomfort – the tension in her shoulders, the way her lower lip collapsed inwards as she chewed on her inner lip - Karin had her chin raised defiantly, as though _daring _the shopkeeper to laugh at her, to contradict her, to step out of line.

_Brave_, he thought of her. _Like her brother in that way, defiant_. But there was something different, between the older and younger sibling. Not in courage, not in determination, not even in her strong sense of loyalty to her friends. It was… She used her brain. She actually _thought._ As far as Tōshirō could see, Kurosaki Karin understood how to acknowledge a problem, stare it in the eye, and _deliberate_ before she acted.

She tackled issues face on, but she was not rash. Neither was she evasive, and she didn't wallow in doubt or self pity. In that sense, she was _that much_ stronger than Kurosaki Ichigo. And from watching her previous interactions with her father and sister, Tōshirō had the sneaking suspicion that Kurosaki Karin was the way she was, because she was a true pillar in the family.

Ichigo had his status as the older brother, the (other) male in the family, his friends and high school as excuses for his absences. He could flee the scene, when things were awkward and tense. Ichigo could afford long days out with no accountability to his father and two baby sisters. In a way, he was almost expected to behave as such.

But Karin? Karin was tied to the family. She was expected to stay at home, be a good daughter and sister. She had to answer to Yuzu. And Karin was there for Yuzu every step of the way. And despite all the clashes, Karin remained loyal to and respectful of her father.

Eleven. He rolled the number around in his head. She hadn't even been born, when he first picked up his zanpakutō. She hadn't been born when he first donned his captain's haori. She was _so young_, and yet Tōshirō found that he was admiring how _mature_ she was.

Soul mates. What were the chances? All he did was pick up a stray soccer ball; he hadn't even intended to be in that part of town. It was only because Matsumoto had flaked, _yet again_, and Tōshirō had been forced to run errands, that he had crossed Kurosaki Karin's path. It was a completely random occurrence. And it was changing his life whether he wanted it, or not.

Funny, how Fate worked.

It was hard for him to remember Hyōrinmaru's advice. _Trust your instincts_. Intellectually, Tōshirō knew the girl was absolutely bad news, especially if Urahara Kisuke was suggesting he accept the bond with Karin. This wasn't like him and the Shihōin princess. So they had their own problems, with Soul Society nobility. But Karin was _living._ The situation was in a completely different ballpark.

But at the same time, Tōshirō _knew _on some deeper level that he couldn't let Karin slip by.

Were he absolutely honest, Hitsugaya Tōshirō woud be forced to admit that Kurosaki Karin, from all he could see, was a pretty amazing girl. She was the right mix of playful, childlike fun and reserved maturity. She was balanced. She had her life in order. Even now, with this _destiny _and _fate_ nonsense, she was handling it without tears, without fuss. Awkwardness, shyness, not a little bit of embarrassment, yes. But she wasn't throwing a tantrum. She had been quick to accept the situation, and with far more grace than expected. She was trying to understand it, to see it clearer, to make it something better than what it seemed to be.

Tōshirō could trust – no, he absolutely trusted – Hyōrinmaru. He would accept the simple truth the zanpakutō had presented. Kurosaki Karin was his soul mate. It made no sense, but he would have a willing heart. What else was there to do in the situation? Wrestle with oneself? Hurt himself, and quite likely the young girl in front of him in the process? For what? A show of rebellion against his core being?

It took Tōshirō years to develop his relationship with Hyōrinmaru, to accept that this magnificent, majestic dragon had _chosen_ him, that the beautiful spirit creature could understand what it was like, to be a silver-haired, supposed prodigy, to be picked out, talked about, stared at, lauded and torn down. It took him decades, to establish that sense of familiarity with Hyōrinmaru.

And here was Kurosaki Karin, with no formal training, who knew next to _nothing_ about anything spiritual, who hadn't yet to even been told that the woman she was describing was her zanpakutō…

Karin could converse with, and discuss her soul with such familiarity, and absolute trust.

He admired her, for that.

Perhaps her show of fortitude in the beginning, perhaps it was the intelligence in her dark eyes, but for whatever reason, even Urahara Kisuke had noticed something about the girl. At the very least, the man had yet to pull that infernal fan he carried around, or revert to the deliberately enigmatic, insincere, and self debasing speech that inevitably confused and annoyed the people Urahara interacted with.

"So yes, overall, it's uncommon, but still known to occur every couple of decades." explained the man in the ridiculous hat. "In theory, everyone has a soul mate waiting for them, but with how _big_ the world is, the chance of _finding_ that person is very slim. Of _course_, once we factor in how one can essentially live an eternity in soul society, not to mention reincarnation, it's only a matter of time before everyone finds their match. You and Hitsugaya-taichō here probably weren't meant to meet until much later, quite possibly after you'd died, maybe even lived a second life. Although, I've not had the chance to plug the probabilities into the matrix. I haven't actually finished formulating the matrix, actually. But I'm curious to see how much of a change there is once we factor in the familial ties to Shinigami affairs…"

"And then what happens," Karin asked as the man's voice trailed off. "When they find their mate?"

The man smiled. "But Karin-chan, what makes you think something special happens?"

The girl could only shrug, frustrated. "It seems pretty anti-climatic to me, if these people just find their… _soul mate"_ – Tōshirō noted in amusement how she was still struggling with saying the words despite all her appearances of having accepted the fact – "and then that's it? No big change? Magic sparks? Guaranteed ever-afters?"

"It's all up to you two, what happens in the future. You know, most people wouldn't complain, finding the one person out there that is _the one_ for them."

She frowned, and Tōshirō found himself agreeing with her next words, even if he wasn't inclined to voice them himself. "But I don't even _love_ him," she protested, pausing long enough to give him a sidelong glance and utter a quick, "No offence, Tōshirō." She frowned. "Aren't soul mates supposed to be two sappy people, ridiculously in love, with roses and declarations of affection and happy endings after trials and tribulations to prove their worth?"

"My, my, my…" Urahara said, and without his fan, the genuine amusement was clearly written all over his face. "A female that disdains the fairy tale romance." He smiled. "Those stories, books, movies – they're fiction for a reason. It doesn't happen like that in real life. Although, you'll find that at some point in time, you might just become just like one of those characters in the movie, willing to risk hide and hair for our wonderful Hitsugaya-taichō here."

Tōshirō pressed his lips together to prevent himself from smiling at the way Karin rolled her eyes.

"So that's it?" She asked, incredulous. "I found my… _soul mate_… and that's it?"

She turned to Tōshirō, and stuck her hand out. "Hi, I'm Kurosaki Karin, how do you do?" she asked. The Shinigami Taichō could only take the hand and shake it, allowing himself a small smirk.

"Hitsugaya Tōshirō," he said calmly.

The girl looked at him in amusement. She held his hand for several heartbeats, before finally dropping it.

"Nope, sorry," she said. "Still not in love with you," she informed him.

Tōshirō raised a shoulder in a half shrug. "Doesn't bother me," he said neutrally.

Urahara shook his head. "What you two do with each other is your own business," he said with a twinkle in his eye that reminded Tōshirō, not that he ever forgot, how _similar_ the shop keeper was to Matsumoto when it came to gossip. "However," the man added. "I believe we need to do something about Karin-chan."

"Wait!" Karin cried, founding genuinely alarmed. "Do something?" the girl asked. "What do you mean, '_do something'_?"

The man had the audacity to sound hurt; it was a relief to see the girl narrow her eyes and fix the man in the striped hat with a glare when he tried to simper.

"You know," Urahara hedged. "Training. Because it sounds like your zanpakutō's active, which _shouldn't_ happen in a human… Did you know Inoue-chan is in soul society right now, training? But even she doesn't have a zanpakutō, which makes you quite irr-"

"_What type of training_," the girl stressed. "Because, I've 'trained' enough with Otou-san to know I can land a kick square on your face."

Tōshirō saw the man grimace.

"Well," the man said. "First we need to see if you _need_ to become a Shinigami to call forth your zanpakutō… although I have a feeling," he hastily added when Karin leaned closer to him, one small hands fisted. A centuries old male, terrified of an eleven year old girl. Tōshirō could only watch with amused eyes. "… I have a feeling you've made that transition without the usual… methods…"

"Oh?" That caught Tōshirō's attention. "What do you mean, Kisuke?"

"Karin-chan's body and soul might not be connected the way the other living humans are," the man explained. "I thought it was… _most curious_ that Ichigo Kurosaki's body is able to preserve its condition despite a lack of gikongan to preserve it during his trip to soul society. Most people's bodies tend to start decomposing when that which animates them leaves." The man shrugged. "Acts more like a gigai, in that respect. Although, that might mean that Isshin's gigai somehow managed to impart _its_ properties to the children… I always wondered how he managed to have children, but testing the offspring of a friend isn't exactly the nicest thing…"

"So I might be Shinigami," Karin interrupted, impatience finally getting to her. Tōshirō was half interested in seeing what she would be like, when she _completely_ lost every shred of patience with Urahara Kisuke, his incoherent mumblings, and odd, shady gleam in the his eyes.

"Yes, yes," the man nodded, waving his hand about airily. "And regardless, you should consider becoming one."

"Why?" Tōshirō found himself asking. "Why is so important that we need to expose her to our world?"

Karin turned to him, and for a moment he thought she was going to protest her ability to protect herself. Instead, she only looked at him curiously, as though understanding he had a point to make, and waiting for it. She wasn't entirely like her brother, completely irrational with the tendency to jump to conclusions. He thanked the gods for that.

"Her becoming Shinigami, or at least her ability to manifest her sword, is going to be crucial in her learning to control her powers," Urahara explained. "The whole situation will demand some form of exchange between the two of you; Her becoming a Shinigami will help that bond. Merely clamping her reiatsu down is a temporary fix. When you return to soul society, with no way for her to reach you, her zanpakutō is going to revolt. Besides! We can't ignore her blossoming talent! We must cultivate it!"

"Wait, wait." Karin said, voicing his doubts, too. "What exchange? What is a zanpa… zan… Whatever that was? And you said we didn't have to do anything! What is this about me and Soul society? Do I have to _go_ there?"

All they received in answer was an ambiguous "You'll see."

Karin's patience snapped. She was out of her chair, eyebrows furrowed, hands fisted, shoulders tense (Tōshirō found that she actually had a half decent stance, although she was too stiff around the hips). It was quite likely that she'd have resorted to violence at that point to get the answers she wanted. But she was interrupted by Kurosaki Isshin, who chose the moment to peer into the private examination room.

"Ok! They're gone!" He cried, referring to the last of the patients from a minor car crash that he'd gotten up to treat. "Fill me in!"

Oddly, the sight of her father gave Karin some semblance of control over her frustration. She threw her hands up and uttered a disgusted, "Augh!" She headed for the door, growling at Urahara: "_You_ explain it all to him, I'm… going to take a walk."

That left Tōshirō with the two men, and while he had more questions – and he knew Karin would have more later – he didn't particularly care for staying in the presence of both Urahara Kisuke and Kurosaki Isshin.

He quietly excused himself, not liking the look in either man's eyes, and let himself out of the clinic.

**[C]**

* * *

_And just like that, chapter 6! A little was revealed, and more was contemplated. I hope the whole "soul mate" thing wasn't too cliche. My aim is to NOT make the story one-dimensional. Just because this big scary thing called "Fate" has decided, doesn't mean that Karin and Tōshirō are suddenly going to super close and sappy. I still stand by my firm belief that their personalities demand that they take it slow. And slow it will be. I want their relationship to develop over time into something solid. Rushing things won't help, I don't think. Think of Fate as a (big) nudge into helping them get together. Otherwise, why would Karin or Tōshirō be considering anything romantic at their "age" anyway?  
_

_Next chapter should be a little more fluffy. At the very least, we see more of Tōshirō and Karin interacting together. And that's always the best part, right?_

_Drop me a line! Tell me what you think. Too much? Not enough? What do you think is going to happen next? Tōshirō has approximately another 2 weeks left before he returns to Soul Society. How far will their relationship get?_

_Merry X'mas, and Happy Holidays, everyone! Much, much love from California._


	7. Chapter 7

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! I figured I'll post this early, sorta like my Christmas present to you all :)**

_I did however wrestle with how to break these chapters up. I know I'd said we'd see Karin's friends again. Cept, in editing this chapter, I realized the parts that came _before_ that scene were a liiiiiiittle longer than I thought it was. So I had a choice. A short chapter (~2000 words) and then update again on Tuesday... or a normal length chapter (this is actually the longest chapter I've written so far) and wait until New Years to post (because I would have done a special New Years update anyway... mostly cause I'll be stuck at home with nothing to do).  
_

_I went with the latter. So, next update would be ~Jan 1st. Sorry?_

_I took some liberties with Masaki, because there's so little known about her. But seriously, whats with all the natural red heads and blondes? And don't even get me started on the eyes. Also, I know the school system in Japan works a little differently, and there's a likelihood I got the grades and stuff wrong, but it's not a major part of the plot, so let me fudge just this once, okay? Brownie points for anyone who figures out what (filler) anime episode gave inspiration for the scene with Isshin and Urahara. (I can only hope it makes sense to people who won't catch the reference... If you don't get it, as always, yell at me for being too vague)._

_I don't own Bleach. If I did, I would have demanded an episode where Ururu gets her revenge on Jinta for all the bullying he puts her through.  
_

_

* * *

_

**[C]**

[**B**]y the time the sun had fully set, she had almost forgotten why she was sitting outside with Hitsugaya Tōshirō. She hadn't even noticed how cold or hungry she was until Tōshirō suggested they head back, before worrying Yuzu, and Matsumoto came up with a wild theory about their absence.

It was the latter suggestion that had Karin turning wide eyes at him. "Oh no," she said, horrified. "They wouldn't have told her, would they? I mean, she would tell everyone…"

That made Tōshirō grimace, and confirmed Karin's suspicions that, while absolutely bubbly, and fun to have around, Matsumoto Rangiku was probably also an extremely apt gossip.

She bit her lip. "They better not have said anything, then." Her voice lowered to a growl, as she voiced her thoughts. "Stupid, meddling father. If he tells anyone about my personal life, I'm going to kill him." She took a deep breath, and then another. "This remains a secret," she said firmly, poking Tōshirō in the chest in case he thought otherwise. "And when I return home, I'm going to drill that into Otou-san's head."

His face was carefully blank, his voice neutral. But somehow, that indifferent mask revealed far more. For starters, it let the girl know that Tōshirō _was _feeling some kind of emotion that he felt necessary to shield. "You don't seem the type to run around, declaring your love from the top of buildings." He observed dryly.

She had to admire how he handled saying the L word, and shuddered at the image of her taking on the role of the demented movie heroine confessing her love in public.

"No, you're right," she said with the slightest of smiles. "And I don't think I would like you half as much if you were one of those spineless, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve types."

Her words were teasing, but as soon as they left her lips, she realized what she had said. Tōshirō must have, too, because he stopped, and looked at her.

She stared at him, frozen in place, speechless and wide eyed.

"Come on now," he said gruffly, but not unkindly. "It's not the end of the world, liking me."

"Yeah," she said, after taking a deep breath. Romance in any way, shape, or form was but a vague concept to her, at least when referring to romance _linked_ to her. She was _eleven_. She wasn't prepared for all this. Surely she was allowed to be awkward about the situation. But… it was now a two way street, wasn't it? In some fathomless, mystifying way, she was unequivocally linked to the boy walking next to her. And for his sake, for _their_ sake, she could try to grow up a tad bit more.

She glanced over at Tōshirō. "You're right. It isn't the end of the world. Besides, you're a pretty awesome soccer player, _and_ you helped me win that match. I suppose I have to like you, after something like that." The tension eased a little with her teasing tone. "But it's going to take a _lot _more than that, to get me to love you."

He rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt there would have been a connection, if you were as frivolous as to fall in love with someone you met barely a week ago."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You can't control these things," she quoted the eccentric shopkeeper. "And thus, you could have just as likely landed with _Yuzu_ instead of me. Imagine her delight at something this _romantic_ and _wondrous._ She'd be all over you."

His expression was mostly blank, his lips pressed together tightly. She could see, however, the horror in his eyes. She laughed.

**[C]**

[**S**]he woke up in the middle of the night because of the odd tugging sensation in her chest, but it was the awful thirst that kept her awake. Careful not to wake her sister up, Karin crept down the stairs towards the kitchen for a glass of water.

She paused at the base of the staircase when she heard the hushed voices. Karin turned, and was about to creep back upstairs, when she heard her name. And Tōshirō's.

Curiosity piqued, she stuck her head out to look.

It was her father and Urahara, standing in the kitchen talking. The shopkeeper was gasping onto a pair of thick ribbons, one red, one white.

"… how they're starting to bind together." the shopkeeper was saying.

Her father took the white ribbon and held it up to the light. It was then that Karin realized the ribbon wasn't quite white. Red had bled into the fabric.

"So at every point the thread is binding, she's starting to become one of us." Her father scratched his chin. "Is this some kind of transfer of power?"

The shop keeper ran his fingers over the red ribbon for a moment before answering. "It's hard to say," he finally said. "I don't detect any change in Hitsugaya-san's reiatsu, but I'll need equipment to take an accurate reading. And I don't have any old data on Karin-chan, so it's hard to judge…"

"And what happens if we try and take this out?" Her father was holding something between his forefinger and thumb, but whatever it was, Karin couldn't see it.

"Why, but it'll tear, of course."

Her father frowned. "How badly?"

"Oh, you know," Came Urahara's blithe reply as he waved a hand at Isshin flippantly. "Ripped in half all the way down to the core. For both of them."

There was a moment of silence. Kurosaki Isshin narrowed his eyes. "So there's no turning back."

"I _told_ you it was irreversible. Must you always question me?" Urahara did a really good job at _pretending_ to sound hurt.

Her father sighed. "How many more days?" He asked, gesturing at the stained ribbon.

"A day or two, at most, judging by the rate at which she's transforming."

"Which means we won't have to put her through the insanity you put my son through."

"You don't still hold that against me, do you? I told you it was the only way."

"I could have given him my powers."

"But we didn't know if his body would accept a second transfer. And we weren't sure if you had enough to give him, then."

Her father made a noise that was incomprehensible, but decidedly rude.

"We'll wait until she's ready. And if it doesn't work, then we can use you."

"And she _has_ to become a Shinigami." Her father grumbled.

Urahara definitely sounded amused. "Ah, but even if I didn't say that, her spirit thread would have demanded it, no?"

"Damn the red string."

"Speaks for itself, doesn't it? Funny how old traditional beliefs turn out to be true." Urahara paused. "I should be going. And you might want to talk to your daughter."

Karin cringed. _Did that crazy guy see me? How? His back is to me. _She frowned. _I just wanted water, not another talk with Otou-san… _As quietly as possible, she crept back up the staircase. _Maybe I'll just drink from the tap in the bathroom or something…  
_

"Ah, Karin-chan, how are you doing?"

Karin jumped.

"I'm ok," she said, cautiously, turning to face her father who had somehow crept up behind her. "I was thirsty. Very thirsty. So why don't I just go get some water…" She tried to sneak around him. Maybe if she busied herself in the kitchen, she could somehow ward off his attempt at some father-daughter time.

He let her pass, but much to her dismay, he trailed after her, settling down at the kitchen table and eying her over the kitchen bar top.

With a sigh, Karin got herself a glass of water and joined her father at the table.

"Most people spend their whole lives, wondering if they found _the one_," he said, after she finished her drink, going straight to the heart of the matter. "They would love to have what you now have."

It was a good thing Karin had finished drinking, because otherwise she was sure she'd have choked. "Otou-san, I'm _eleven_," Karin stressed. "And I've never been that type of girl."

He smiled at her, genuine, with none of the goofball eccentricity behind it. "I think you'll enjoy meeting Yoruichi-san."

Karin spared a glance at her father. "The woman that crazy hat guy was talking about?"

"Urahara Kisuke," he corrected with a smile. "And yes, Shihōin Yoruichi would be the lucky bastard's partner."

"Urahara-san said that I should be meeting her tomorrow to start my training," Karin said, hoping her anxiety over the matter didn't show in her voice. "But he never said where, or when."

Kurosaki Isshin chuckled. "Believe me, you'll figure it out, when you meet her. Yoruichi-san's quite a remarkable woman."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Ah, but Karin-chan, what is life without a few surprises?"

She could only glare at him. "Stable. Predictable. Safe."

"I'm sorry, Karin-chan."

It was the regretful tone, not his words, that had the girl looking at him, puzzled.

"Otou-san?"

"If there's any word to describe life as a Shinigami, 'safe' will never be it. As a father… I wouldn't want to put any of my children into harm's way, certainly wouldn't want to expose any of you to the dangers out there. But at the same time… I'm proud. Of how all of my children have turned out. About how you've handled this." He paused. "It reminds me that you're growing up, much as I wish you were still my little girl."

"But Otou-san," Karin said awkwardly. "You still have Yuzu."

"Yuzu doesn't make up for me losing two children."

"You're not losing-"

His smile seemed so… _sorrowful_ that Karin stopped mid sentence.

"I am, even if you don't think you'll be leaving. One thing at a time, Karin-chan. I'm not blaming you. I just… I know it's inevitable."

Karin scowled. "I hate that word," she ground out. "It seems like _everything_ happening to me lately is _inevitable_. What happened to choosing my destiny? Having control of my life?"

In a rare gesture of affection, her father wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a half hug. It was different from how he usually draped his arm around her shoulder, mostly to try and drag her into one of his harebrained schemes. This time, the action seemed almost… fatherly.

"If it makes you feel any better…" he said comfortingly, "Hitsugaya Tōshirō is an amazing young man. I couldn't have picked a better person for you."

"But Otou-san," Karin protested. "Who cares about what your impression of him is? Isn't love…" and she once again struggled with the word, "supposed to be about how I feel about him? How I get along with..." She trailed off. "Oh. Right." Karin was unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "We were made for each other. Great. So I went from being a normal kid to having this relationship nonsense shoved in my face." She said drolly, making a face.

"I never would have thought of it, until all this fell in our laps, but I know both of you, really well. And I _really_ do think that you two are good for each other," her father said.

She eyed him, silent, contemplative. Then, "What if it had been someone else? Someone you didn't approve of?"

"You don't want to know," was his chilling reply.

Karin sat back as she tried to take it in. This side of her father… It was hard not to think of him as anything but a ridiculous, loud-mouthed idiot lacking in people skills. But then there were those times - when things actually _mattered_, when lives were at stake - when he took on the role of authority, strictly business, deadly serious.

Or was that his true personality, and this idiosyncratic behavior a ruse to protect his children from his darker, rougher edges?

"Arigato, Otou-san," she said quietly, hoping he wouldn't make a big deal about _her_ attempt at heartfelt emotion. "It makes me feel better, knowing you think that way."

The father and daughter duo sat there - for how long, Karin didn't know – taking in the moment.

Finally, Karin spoke up. "Do me a favor? For once, could you _please _ not be an idiot about this whole mess. Don't blather about love, because neither of us feel that way. Don't go on about me growing up, or puberty, or marriage, or grandchildren, or _anything like that. _And for goodness sake, if you know what's good for you, _don't_ tell anyone about it."

"But Karin-chan," and his voice held that plaintive, whining tone he so often used when trying to squirm out of a bad situation.

"No," she said, using that firm, no-nonsense voice that sounded very much like how someone would address a petulant child. "Don't 'but' me. I need you to do this. It's good and all that you approve. But it's still _my_ life. Give me some time to adjust to it, damn it."

"I get it. You need your privacy. I've seen the same thing happen with Ichigo. My little girl is growing u-"

She punched him.

"What did I just say? God, did you listen to me at all, or do you just have a timer on your maturity?"

**[C]**

[**M**]orning came too soon, and Karin was _not_ ready for school. In a zombie-like trance, she allowed Yuzu to mother her, mindlessly chewing the toast her sister handed to her, stuffing her feet into the shoes she knew her twin had pulled out for her. Even her backpack was packed and waiting for her by the door. Karin was blessed to have such a darling sister. Once the insanity ended, once Karin could find some semblance of normalcy, a new routine, she would make it all up to her twin. For now, she could only murmur thanks to the girl who intuitively knew Karin had had a rough night.

And "rough" was an understatement for last night. It wasn't physically grueling, in any sense. _That_ she would have much rather preferred. The awkward, heart to heart talk with her father left her feeling restless, anxious, and unable to sleep. The mysterious conversation she had overheard replayed in her mind. _What did it mean?_

By the end of the school day, Karin was exhausted, dying to leave, and simultaneously dreading the end of the monotonous lessons, because it meant she was due to start her Shinigami training. The teacher was droning about the same dry literary piece from yesterday, not even stopping to start a class discussion like she normally would due to her haste to finish her lecture – apparently, yesterday's storm had interrupted her lessons plans, and she was now behind.

Karin loathed the cut and dry lecture sessions, not because of anything about the teacher in question, but because Karin was primarily a kinesthetic learner. It was something she picked up from her father, she was sure. After all, he was the one who observed it in her, the way she learned best from doing, how she tended to use her hands to gesture, when working on homework.

There was too little _Masaki_ in her - the sweet, caring personality, the love for cooking, the bubbly laughter all having gone to Yuzu. And Karin's absolute hatred of literature, which was essentially what Japanese language classes had been reduced to: mindless essays, discussion of literary passages (which according to Ichigo, would only get even more boring and mindless and antique as she entered high school), was testament of Karin's divergence from her mother. After all, Kurosaki Masaki was one of the rare foreigners that had pursued Japanese culture in college, going as far as moving to Japan to immerse herself in the country she had grown to love. Karin had the sinking feeling that the passage she was doodling _over_ instead of reading along was probably something her mother had loved, considering the hour long lecture her teacher had launched into about the magnificence of the work…

Karin pushed thoughts of her mother out, only to find herself confronted with an even more depressing subject (Until recently, Karin hadn't thought that to be possible. But life had a funny way of proving her wrong). With the final ring of the school bell, Karin _just knew_ she would be hearing from the mysterious Shihōin Yoruichi, and starting this mysterious training that all the adults seemed to think was _crucial_… And becoming a Shinigami... like Karin wanted to be rushing off in the middle of the night the way Ichigo did _towards _the monsters that kept trying to kill her family...

"Kurosaki Karin!" Her teacher called on her, and Karin had enough presence of mind _not_ to jerk, and give away precisely _how_ far away her mind was. Instead, Karin slowly lifted her head, as though turning her attention away from the passage of text she was studying (or desecrating) to focus on the teacher. Karin knew her best attempt at innocent puppy eyes would only backfire on her, mostly because she never mastered the look Yuzu wore naturally. She instead tried for sincere interest.

"Yes, sensei?" She asked obediently, praying the teacher had _yet_ to pose a question to the class.

But as luck would have it, the bell rang then, signaling the end of the school day. Karin sank back into her chair. She would have taken the teacher's wrath over the upcoming meeting…

She fumbled with her stationary, trying to sweep everything into her backpack and failing. She bent down to pick up a stray pencil.

"Tell them, Kurosaki, how we beat those middle school kids." Karin looked up to find a frowning face framed with far too much hair. She flinched.

"Damnit, Donny," she cursed as she straightened up. "Don't sneak up on me like that." Karin frowned, not liking how her soccer buddy had managed to sneak up on her. She wasn't usually this inattentive. "Tell who?" She asked warily, knowing instinctively who the "them" was.

He raised a shaking hand, and pointed out the classroom window.

Sure enough, as she gazed out the window and across the school yard, there stood a small group of boys from the 6th grade. The tallest, a boy called Ito who filled the role of school bully, had a soccer ball tucked under his arm. Karin recognized the ball as her own, the one she had let her friends use during lunch. Speaking of her friends, the other three were currently backing up in a corner as Ito's two friends sneered at them.

"Of all days, why _today_?" She asked no one in particular.

"T-They stole the ball at lunch, said we didn't deserve it cause we had cheated at our competition on Saturday!"

"How is it that Pinta, Usaka and Ryohei are stuck with them there, and you manage to get away?"

The boy grimaced. "I uh, saw them coming, and ran before they saw me."

The running sounding like him, although Karin had to give him credit for actually _sensing_ the danger for once.

Closing her eyes briefly, Karin muttered a silent _Why me? _before attempting again to put her remaining stationary and school books away.

"You know," she said, a trace of irritation in her voice, "They only pick on you guys 'cause you let them."

"What do you mean by that, that we let them? A-Are you saying we're weak, or something?"

The girl shook her head as she stood up. "I'm saying you don't stand up for yourself. Do you think they'd have done this if I was there?"

"Ye… I mean, no."

"Precisely. _No. _Because I wouldn't have let them get away with it. Now here, stay behind me."

Yuzu was busy discussing something or the other with a fellow classmate, and Karin took the opportunity to slip out of the classroom. Her sister knew to go home herself; Karin already told her that she would be home late. There was no need for Yuzu to follow her out into the school yard, and fret as Karin got her ball back. Her twin hated violence, and confrontations with people like Ito always ended in violence.

Donny was an incessant voice in her ear, whining and worrying about anything and everything as he followed Karin down the hallway. By the time she stepped out onto the school yard, she was ready to smack _him_ so he would shut up.

The upperclassmen were hanging around just outside the school gate, where _technically_ school rules no longer applied. Karin felt her mouth fix into a grim line. _Good_, she thought. _That means there's less of a chance I'll land detention if this came to blows_. Self defense apparently wasn't a good enough excuse, when the supposed victim – her – walked away unharmed while the supposed assailants were bruised and bloodied on the floor.

She strode over to where the group of upperclassmen taunted her remaining soccer team.

"Hey," she called, attracting their attention. "I believe this is mine," she said, pointing to the familiar, battered ball.

"Yeah?" said the brat called Ito. "So what? You're gonna get it back from us?" He held the ball above his head. "I'll like to see you try."

The _nerve_ of that boy! He was taller, and bigger. And with two of his stupid friends in the way, Karin couldn't simply jump and grab it.

She shrugged off her backpack, and let it fall onto the ground next to her. "I'll make you give it back," she said. She glanced at her friends who were cowering in a corner. "You three, quit hiding there."

At her sharp command, her remaining soccer buddies found enough courage to run past the older boys to join Donny behind her back.

"What, a girl is protecting all four of those losers? Little you, against the three of us?" Karin didn't know the name of the boy who spoke, but recognized him as one of the many idiots that hung around Ito at lunch.

"Run, you idiots," she snarled, shrugging off the clinging hands that held onto her shoulders and arms.

"But Kurosaki," someone whispered behind her.

"Yeah, run, because once I'm done with this girl, I'm going to rip you guys from limb to limb," the one known as Bear called out mockingly.

"Kurosaki, that sounds like it'll hurt."

"I need my legs to play soccer."

"Do they know where we live?"

"Just run if you're that bloody scared!" She hissed, slapping away the hand that gripped her shirt sleeve. "Else let me go and let me handle this."

"Stupid bitch," Ito snarled. "First you cheat at that soccer game and humiliate my brother and his team, and now you think you're good enough to screw with me?"

_His older brother_? _Well_, Karin thought, _That explains how these kids are so antsy about that match_.

"Those middle-schoolers lost fair and square," Karin spat back. "It's not my fault we were better. And you'll be surprised if you think I'm some pathetic, weak girl."

Perhaps her friends had death wishes. Maybe somehow, her words bolstered their confidence, because suddenly she heard someone yell, "Go Kurosaki! You tell them!"

If she could roll her eyes, or bury her face in her hands, she would have.

"I said go!" She yelled, flinging her arm back hard, to dislodge the grip on her bicep.

The last hand let go of her, and she could hear the shuffling of feet. With luck, those idiots finally listened to her, and actually _left_. Because if they hung around, they were more likely to get in her way when one of them worked up enough nerve to try and be "useful".

"Getting rid of your backup? Who's gonna save you when you start crying, huh?"

"Oh shut up," Karin yelled. "Like I need anyone to back me up against pathetic losers like you."

"Yeah! Cause those idiots are walking cannon fodder."

"They're a ton smarter than you, you jerk."

"Name calling, scary. Is that all you got, huh?"

"Give the ball back."

"Or what, you're going to cry?"

The boys broke down into laughter, the words "stupid kids" "dumb girls" and "lousy soccer players" among the mix of phrases they were having hysterics over. Karin growled. They weren't taking her seriously, and she was tired of the mockery.

_Fine, _she thought. _You want to look down on me? Underestimate me? Fine. I'll show you girls are perfectly capable of handling jackasses like you._

She could floor her brother and father with a single hit. She wasn't worried about these boys.

"Come on, come on," Ito laughed. "How about you take your best first shot at me. And if you're good, you get the ball back. If not, _we _get to have a go at_ you._"

There were no teachers or adults in sight, just a couple of curious students milling around. If she took care of this quick and efficiently, she could probably avoid detention… and be able to get going to her training session with Yoruichi.

_Fine. And it's not like they didn't invite me to hit them_. She curled her hands into fists (thumb on the outside, always. You don't want to break the bone) and eyed the distance between her and the boys when-

"If I were you, I'd just give the ball back." A familiar voice said, in a bored, matter-of-fact tone.

Startled, Karin turned to look behind her.

A blindingly white tangle of hair caught her eye. A slim figure with brilliant turquoise eyes walked up towards the school gate, hands tucked into his trouser pockets.

"Tōshirō!" She called out in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

But he never responded, because Ito suddenly cried, "You! You're that freak that helped them cheat! You nearly broke my brother's fingers. He had bruises all over from you." There was genuine venom in the boy's voice.

_Fingers. So the goalkeeper? _Karin thought back to the goals Tōshirō had scored. The first had hit the goalkeeper straight on, but the force behind the ball had been great enough to throw the kid back into the net in his attempt to block it.

_Yeah_, she thought._ I guess you don't normally see that happen. And I suppose that's enough force to break fingers. Nearly.  
_

She wondered what Tōshirō would have said in reply, if he would have even acknowledged the older boy at all, because he never had a chance to react. Donny, Pinta, Ryohei and Usaka, upon seeing Tōshirō, fell over themselves to cling onto their soccer-match savior.

_Traitors, _she found herself thinking, but with no real heat. _They've never seen him fight. But they assume he can, since he obviously won our game of soccer. How does soccer skills equate to anything else?_ Never mind that it was a right assumption. What happened to their respect for her? And what happened to _running_?

"Tōshirō! Save us!" One of them cried.

"Yeah! Tell them to go away. We won the match fair and square. Tell them!"

"I'll fight with you!" said Pinta as he half clung to Tōshirō's arm. "It can't be that bad, right? I-if it's all of us against them?"

"Wait. No. I can't fight! Just… can't we just be friends?" Whimpered Donny.

"Get back," Tōshirō's voice was a low, deadly growl. Startled, the boys took a step back.

And the bullies lunged.

Karin felt the subtle change in air pressure as one of them attempted to backhand her, and she dodged left. She pivoted, fully intending to land a kick. But she stopped herself, because all of a sudden Tōshirō was right there, his hand firmly clasping the bigger boy's wrist.

"Back off," she heard him say, the threat clear in his voice.

The bullies sneered, obviously bolstered by the fact that Tōshirō was no bigger than herself.

There were no words exchanged; As a unit, they suddenly lunged. Karin saw the large hand that swept out to knock her over, but it was immediately blocked again by Tōshirō. The Shinigami Taichō angled himself in front of the group of boys, his shoulder nudging her back behind him. Normally, Karin would have been affronted by the _protectiveness_ of such a gesture. This time, she found that her temper had chilled enough that she was more… curious to see what would become of this confrontation.

"I won't say this again. Leave my friends alone," his voice was soft, flat, with no affect. And that made it scarier than if Tōshirō had emotion to show.

"Oh come on," said Bear. "Like a kid like you could take us on."

The word "Kid" seemed to be the trigger, and Karin couldn't fully stifle her laugh as she saw something switch off in Tōshirō, that allowed him to lose that ridiculously developed self control. He grabbed Bear, uttering, "I am _not_ a child," before releasing the poor soul with a violent shove that had the bully flying several feet backwards.

That snapped the other two upperclassmen out of their daze, and they both moved to grab Tōshirō. A single arm was raised to block the first punch, followed through by a kick that sent the nameless third boy flying. Gracefully, Tōshirō used the momentum of his kick to bring himself directly behind Ito.

The unknown kid and Bear were out for the count. Tōshirō stood behind Ito, firmly pinning the upperclassman's arms to his back.

"What, you're holding me back so this _girl_ can try to land a punch?" Ito sneered. Karin had a moment to wonder if the boy was posturing to maintain face, or stupid.

"Come on, give it your best shot. Maybe you can actually land something with this punk pretending to hold me."

Definitely stupid. Quite possibly suicidal. She felt her temper rise up in her. How she hated it when someone looked down on her because of her age or gender.

She looked at Tōshirō, and his blue-green eyes gave Karin all the permission she needed.

She couldn't help but smirk as she delivered a kick that had Ito rolling across the pavement.

"Why?" She asked the Shinigami after.

He shrugged, hands back in the pockets of his trousers, looking at her with bored eyes. "Because I knew you would have handled it, if I hadn't been there." He said it as though it was no big deal. And perhaps to him, it wasn't.

Oh. She was surprised at his reasoning, and oddly touched. "Thanks," she said. "And, uh, sorry." She took a step back, away from him.

His carefully blank mask dropped for just a moment, his eyes widening in surprise. Then her soccer friends descended on the Shinigami Taichō, cheering. Tōshirō's face now wore that familiar look of annoyance, as the boys fumbled to try and lift him up on their shoulders, and he fruitlessly tried to fend them away.

Karin burst into laughter. After how nice he had been, she almost felt bad for leaving him at the mercy of her friends. _Almost._

**[C]**

* * *

_In working through Karin's reactions a bit more, I had to lose quite a bit of the fluffiness. I'm sorry if it's not fluffy enough, and I disappointed. I'll make up for it, I swear! Or at least try to - I think my attempts at fluff are hit or miss... mostly because I don't view myself as a fluffy person._

_As always, leave a review. I'm especially curious about what people think of Karin, and my portrayal of her._

_Next chapter, we meet Yoruichi. I'm pretty excited about that, mostly because when I think of her, two scenes come into mind. 1. Her taunting Ichigo's discomfort about her nudity 2. Her relentless teasing of Soi Fon and insisting the poor girl has a crush on Kisuke. Yup. I think she'll be fun. And at the very least, she's easier to write that Urahara. When I have to write -him-, I have to imagine his voice and how he usually speaks, and it messes with my mind. I'm going to be miserable if I dream of him. And his hat. :(_

_Anyway, Merry Christmas! I tried to get this out while the people on the other side of the world still were in Dec 25th. I think I succeeded? My clock says 2 minutes left. :)_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Happy New Years! _

_This chapter introduces Yoruichi, although there isn't enough of her in this particular chapter. It's a little too early for that. At least she becomes a pretty central figure in Karin's life later on in the story (if things go as planned). _

_As always, this goes out to my reviewers, and all those who've honored my story with a place on their favorites list. Thank you for the holiday wishes, and kind words. If I didn't get to send a reply to your review, I apologize. 's been acting up on me._

_Sadly, I don't own bleach. If I did, I'd have had a lot more fun with Byakuya and the Shinigami Women's Association._

* * *

**[C]**

[**I**]t was hard for her to stop smiling as they walked towards goodness-knows-where. There was a deep frown on Tōshirō's face; it didn't take much to surmise it was from the amount of attention he garnered following the scuffle. It was partially her fault, as her soccer ball had mysteriously disappeared and she had left to hunt for the damn thing. Granted, she could have saved him _first _before embarking on her mission to save the ball. But that wouldn't have been as… fun.

And oh, how red he had been when she returned, ball in hand, to find several of girls giggling over him, impressed by how he handled Ito and the others. They were an assortment from the various grades, and Karin didn't think most of them were even present for the confrontation. Not that it mattered, because the schoolgirls were fawning for the simple fact that he was_ a high schooler._

Karin had already apologized, multiple times in fact, after she rescued him from the mob. And while she had done so in all sincerity, the fact that he was still sulking ten minutes after the fact and wore an expression that resembled that of a petulant child made it hard for her to contain her laughter.

They turned a corner, and an odd sensation had Karin stopping suddenly.

"Tōshirō," she said slowly. "Do you feel that?"

He looked at her, suddenly serious, his look of irritation gone. "Feel what? A hollow?"

She shook her head. "No. It feels…." She couldn't put a name to it. Whatever _it_ was, it felt familiar. But she wasn't sure. "I think it's been following us, or has at least been in the general vicinity for a while. It's like a weak hum in the back of my head, but it just spiked for a brief moment…"

She trailed off, as something clicked in her head.

"Yoruichi-san?" Karin called hesitantly.

Not knowing where the woman could possibly be, Karin turned around, and seeing nothing, looked up. A familiar black cat sat on the gutter of a nearby house, staring at her with bright golden eyes.

"You!" Karin cried. She had seen the cat before, with its too-human gaze, although usually around her brother or his friends. "Y-you're… Shihōin Yoruichi?"

Beside her, Tōshirō inclined his head. "Yoruichi-san."

_This_ was the crazy shopkeeper's … partner? A cat? Karin couldn't keep the surprise off her face.

"Damnit," the cat cursed in a decidedly _male_ voice. "Kisuke blabbed, didn't he?"

Karin's mouth had dropped open. She had dealt with talking, spirit possessed animals in the past. The cockatiel, the powerful spirit kitten/lion… thing. Even that demented stuffed toy her brother owned that really wasn't half as stealthy as it thought it was.

But this…

Really? A Shinigami/cat relationship? Not to mention, Karin was _positive_ her father said Yoruichi was a girl.

Tōshirō was speaking for her, probably because Karin was too busy staring to reply. "No. I don't believe Urahara, or Kurosaki-taichō for that matter, informed her. She looks rather surprised." He noted in dry amusement.

_That_ was Karin's cue to shut her mouth and attempt to rearrange her features.

"Sorry," she said. "It's been awhile since I've seen a talking animal."

The cat cocked its head to one side. "You've met others like me?"

Karin bit her lip as she tried to recall the reiatsu of the others she had met. "No," she said finally. "They weren't like you. They felt… dead."

"How do I feel, then?"

The problem with the question was, the cat _barely_ felt like anything. Karin paused, then closed her eyes.

"You feel… powerful. Like there is a ton of energy that is being carefully contained in."

"Are you sure you're not confusing me with what you're feeling from Hitsugaya-taichō?" The cat pressed.

Karin shook her head, and opening her eyes, looked straight at the cat. "No. Because… You have a feel similar to Urahara-san. Almost like a distorted echo. Sorry," She added, although she wasn't quite sure _what_ she was sorry for.

"It's quite alright," the cat said flippantly, waving a paw at Karin. "I've had a good century to resign myself to being stuck with Kisuke. I am delighted with _you_, though. He wasn't exaggerating when he said I'd like you. Come on!" The cat said, as it elegantly jumped off the building and landed in front of them. "Since you found me early, let's just get straight to the training." The cat padded off.

"Yoruichi-san," Tōshirō said. "Aren't we going to the shōten?"

"Abarai-san and Sado-kun are training in the basement. I didn't think it would be wise to have them find out about Karin, yet. We're heading somewhere else."

Before either Karin or Tōshirō could voice anything further, the cat bounded off, leaving them to hurry after it.

**[C]**

"[**Y**]ou can look now." the unfamiliar, husky, female voice startled Karin. Her eyes flew open.

A slender, dark-skinned woman with _purple_ hair was standing where the cat had been. But there was no mistaking the golden-yellow eyes.

"Hi," Karin said, not quite sure of what to say. They were standing in the middle of a large forest clearing that Karin _knew_ shouldn't exist. Tōshirō had retreated to a fallen log off to one side of the clearing, and was sitting quietly.

"Shihōin Yoruichi," the woman said. "Though I'm sure you've heard all about me."

Karin hesitated. "I've heard _of_ you."

Yoruichi grinned playfully. "If it's anything your father said, ignore it, he's lying. If it's something Kisuke said, tell me if it sounds ridiculous, and I can get him back for it, later."

"Well… Urahara did go off on some tangent about princesses."

Yoruichi made a face. "That, unfortunately, is true. _But," _she was quick to add. "Don't you dare start acting funny around me because of it."

Karin blinked. She had no idea how to act around royalty, anyway. "Sure," she agreed. It was the easiest thing to do.

"So…" the woman said, and in a movement too fast for Karin to follow, she was suddenly _right there_, her hand under Karin's chin to tilt the girl's face up. "One of Isshin's twin daughters. Hmm. Kisuke was right. I really _can't_ feel much of your reiatsu at all. But you felt _mine_ earlier." The golden eyes that held Karin's own were puzzled. "Did someone teach you to sense that?"

Karin shook her head. "I just… it comes naturally?" She supplied helplessly. "I mean… Onii-chan and I have always been able to see ghosts…"

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Tch. Ichigo can't sense reiatsu to save his life. His own reiatsu is so freaking 'loud' it drowns everything else out. But you've got it nice and controlled. What else can you do with it?"

_Do with it? Do what?_ Karin thought.

"She's able to channel reiatsu into objects to strengthen it," Tōshirō said.

Channel… what? Karin stared at him blankly even as Yoruichi clapped her hands together.

"That's great!" The woman enthused. "I heard as much from Jinta and Ururu, but you can never tell with them, well…" she amended "You can never tell with Jinta."

"That stupid baseball bat wielding idiot?" Karin cried out before she could help herself. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"He works for Kisuke," Yoruichi said, waving her hand dismissively. "But who cares? You can control your reiatsu! Lovely! And your father said he's been training you in hand-to-hand combat?"

Karin shrugged. She _supposed _that was one way of describing her sometimes questionable relationship with her father.

"Excellent! Now… where to start…"

**[C]**

[**B**]y the end of the day, Karin wasn't entirely sure they had progressed much at all. They had talked a lot, but never really _did _much that was constructive.

The purple-haired woman walked Karin through a series of exercises, mostly to see how much control Karin had over her reiatsu. They established she could easily use it to cloak her body, or incorporate it in objects she came in contact with, such as the soccer ball she had used on occasion with hollows. The woman seemed surprised at Karin's apparent lack of knowledge, although Karin couldn't quite figure out why.

Tōshirō left partway through, muttering something about ditzy fuku-taichōs, babysitting duty, and irrational 11th division members. Although he had done little more than watch, his departure sent a jolt of panic through Karin.

"Don't worry," Yoruichi had said. "He's a Taichō. You'll get used to him being away."

Karin wanted to say that she didn't realize she had become used to him _not_ being away, but decided against it.

After the experiments with reiatsu, Yoruichi sat down on the log, and proceeded to launch into a discussion about the direction training would go in. The woman deduced Karin was in good enough physical shape, so that wouldn't be too much of an issue. She sounded excited, though, with teaching Karin something called Shunkō. She also admitted, grudgingly, that Karin appeared to have _great_ potential for kidō .

"Weird," the woman had muttered. "You're the exact opposite of your brother. He couldn't use kidō for crap."

They would expect someone named Tessai to help in that.

"What about my zanpakutō?" Karin had wanted to know. "Otou-san and Urahara-san have both talked _forever_ about the importance of it after dinner…"

Yoruichi merely smiled. "You are able to talk to her, can't you? Continue to talk to her, whenever you can. Take an hour or so before bed, and seek her out. Develop that relationship. I wouldn't be surprised if you find out her name before too long."

"I keep hearing about her name," Karin noted with a frown. "Is that important?"

The Shihōin princess nodded enthusiastically. "Knowing your zanpakutō's name opens a new dimension to your relationship with her. It's _essential_ for growth, both between you and your zanpakutō and your own personal maturity. But it takes time to get to the point where she'll reveal that, although once you know her name, we'll be able to take your Shinigami training to a new level."

"Wait! Shinigami training? Proper Shinigami training? But Yoruichi-san, I'm _not_ a Shinigami."

"You are," the woman reassured. "I'd bet a month's worth of milk that you are. You just have to find that part of yourself."

From there, the conversation rapidly switched directions. Karin wasn't sure how long they spent, sitting in that forest clearing, talking. But by the time Yoruichi announced training was over for the day, Karin had learned _far_ more about Shinigami life, soul society and embarrassing facts about Urahara Kisuke than she thought she had the brain capacity for.

It was a little unsettling how quickly the woman had put Karin to ease. The woman was so animated and lively; her golden eyes perpetually alight with that mischievous glint, a smile constantly on her face. She was laidback, although not without a hint of fiery temper, and had an attitude so blasé it was almost to the point where it was crude, really, but even then there was an odd elegance behind it all. Her rambunctious laughter was infectious, especially when it came after amusing anecdotes about her father, or humiliating situations involving Ichigo. And she could spout some of the most bawdy things the girl had ever heard, with a perfectly straight face. Karin had to give the woman props for that.

And it wasn't just the outward personality that caused Karin to be drawn to Yoruichi. The real reason lay in the fact that despite the awkwardness of the situation, the reason behind the necessity for training, the woman was making it all fun for the girl. The former Shinigami captain was acutely aware of Karin's anxiety; Yoruichi's every action was natural, genuine, but still a conscious, calculated effort to assuage Karin's fears. And for that, Karin was thankful.

Although Karin still had _no_ clue what _real_ training would be like, she found she wasn't quite as anxious about the whole affair, anymore. In fact, Karin could have said that she was curious, almost excited to see what the next day would bring. Shihōin Yoruichi had seen to that.

The parting words of the woman stayed with Karin the rest of the night. "_Heart and soul are connected, what is important is: where is the heart."_

**[C]**

[**A**]t her father's hinting, Karin took to the rooftop to meditate, bundled up in a thick sweater and sweat pants to ward off the chilly night air.

How had she called her soul the other day, in class? Karin closed her eyes, and tried to remember Yoruichi's instructions.

She thought of the things her zanpakutō reminded her of, thought of the things that her zanpakutō seemed to delight in. The cold starry night, the strong winds, the lightning and thunder. Dark, melodic laughter, shifting darkness, swirling clouds. Brilliant turquoise eyes. Tōshirō…

**[C]**

[**W**]hen Karin opened her eyes to the endless starry night, she called out.

"Hello?"

"Karin-chan!" The woman responded. "Back so soon?"

It took a moment for Karin's eyes to adjust to the semi-dark. Now, she could make out the dark hooded cloak that covered her zanpakutō's body. Below a single, silver clasp, Karin made out what appeared to be a deep blue kimono with silver embroidery as the cloak fall away from the woman's body in a gentle V.

"Why… can't I see your face clearly? Am I allowed to?" Karin asked. All she could make out was a glimpse of pale flesh; the silver, flower-shaped clasp of the cloak was settled right below the hollow of the woman's throat.

"Oh?" the woman asked. "Not going to ask my name, after everyone's told you its importance?"

Karin bit her lip. "Well… They also told me I have to _earn_ the right… and it wouldn't be very respectful to demand it, especially knowing now how significant it is." She paused, and recalling her something Yoruichi mentioned, added, "_You_ know me better than I know myself. I should trust your judgment."

"I hope you'll one day realize, how exceptional you are," the woman said as she drew nearer. "Not that I worry about your ego getting in the way." She was standing no more than a meter from Karin now. "Why do you want to see my face?" The woman questioned.

Why, indeed? Karin thought carefully before she answered. "Because I'd like to know you – myself – better."

"Ahh, but Karin-chan. Appearances can be deceiving. And I'm afraid that until you learn to 'see' with something truer than your eyes, you won't be able to see me."

That confused Karin, but she quelled her impatience, and nodded. "Is that part of what you can teach me?"

"I can teach you many things. Don't worry about your lessons, they'll come as you're ready."

Once again, Karin had to shove down the frustration. After all, Yoruichi-san, Tōshirō, Otou-san, even Urahara-san had insisted she learn to trust her zanpakutō. _But it is so hard_, Karin thought. _Especially when she's acting so evasive on purpose. Why can't she just tell…_

Karin suddenly recalled something Tōshirō had said, when they first put a name to the sensations they were feeling. _What was it?_ _Something about how… there was no point in trying to explain color to a person who refused to open their eyes…_

_Am I refusing to see? Is my heart, mind, blocking my ability to comprehend my zanpakut_ō's words?

"You've very wise friends," the woman observed. "And I'm very proud of you. Come, Karin-chan, sit with me for a bit." The woman demurely settled herself on a silver cloud, and patted the space beside her.

The girl hesitated. _I can do this_, Karin thought, steeling herself. _This isn't the real world, this is my soul. If she says I can sit on a cloud…_

"Excellent. Are you comfortable?"

Karin blinked; It took her a moment to realize she was seated beside the woman. A surge of pride filled her. _I have passed some kind of test_, she realized.

"Arigato," Karin said. "Yes, I'm perfectly comfortable."

"Good, good," the woman said. "So, Karin-chan, tell me about yourself."

"About myself?" Karin asked. "But you know who I am."

"Ah. But I want to hear what _you_ think you are."

"I am…" Karin paused, seriously considering the question.

It was a common enough question, every year, at the start of school, there were always silly ice-breaking games teachers played to get to know the students. Karin always answered those frivolous questions with things like, "I like soccer. I have a twin. My favorite color is green." But this wasn't a game. This was… this was a lesson, somehow. A lesson for Karin to understand _herself._

_Who am I?_ She thought.

"I am Kurosaki Karin. I'm eleven. My birthday is May 6th. I…" _How do I define myself? What do I see myself as? What roles do I fill? "_I am a sister, a daughter. I am a tomboy, I guess. I'm a student, I work as a nurse in my father's clinic. I'm a soccer player. I am… bonded with Hitsugaya Tōshirō. I am-" and this last revelation startled her, as it entered her mind, even more so than the previous admission to her relationship with the silver-haired taichō.

"…I am Shinigami." She finished. She looked at her zanpakutō, unable to hide the incredulous look on her face. "I am?" She asked, and even as the question left the lips, Karin felt the stirring deep inside her, felt the echoing confirmation in the stars around her. _She was_. And somehow, that acknowledgement felt good.

"Very good, very good. Now, what do you like? Dislike?"

With careful consideration, Karin started down the list, speaking as things came to her mind. More often than not, her zanpakutō would interrupt with a gentle, "Why?"

"Why do you like green? Why not red? You wear it often enough…"

"I wear red because it makes Yuzu happy; It's closer to pink, she thinks green isn't a girly color... But Otou-san bought me green bed sheets, claiming he forgot he already bought Onii-chan blue… I like green because it reminds me of the soccer field, and forests…" and in a softer voice she added, "and Tōshirō's eyes."

The questions continued after each answer: "Why do you prefer Spring? Why don't you like hamsters? What is it that you dislike about grape juice? Why do you lash out at people who sing off key? Why does Kabuki give you a headache?"

And Karin answered, and elaborated, struggled to explain, to find meaning.

"You see, Karin-chan, don't you?" The woman asked gently, in the end.

Karin nodded thoughtfully. "I'm starting to, I think."

"Tell me," the woman prompted. "Tell me why I'm making you talk this all out, and tell me what you see."

"Hmmm…" Karin pulled her feet up on the cloud, hugged her legs close to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees as she stared out into the endless night. "You're making me talk this out, so I'll be able to hear, for myself, my reasoning. So I am honest to myself, I'm… confronting my thought process. And…

"And I'm starting to see _who_ I am… I'm understanding how I think. And… when I understand myself, and how I think, I can better understand _why _I do what I do… and how I can more appropriately react… especially around things that might upset me, or excite me. I'm learning… to be rational?"

The woman smiled. "At the end of the day, there are three people you can trust. Yourself, myself, and some day, the boy. But you cannot trust yourself, if you don't _know _why you are doing what you are doing. You will be faced with tough decisions in the times to come; everyone does, but you more so than others, because you are a Shinigami, and you are _unique_. You will need to stand by the decisions you make. Uncertainty will undo you. Hesitation in battle will kill you. And it is impossible to live with yourself, if you cannot trust your own judgment, and live by your actions. Do you understand, Karin?"

Karin nodded, turning to look at the shadow-shrouded face. "Hai," she said, pleased to find she _truly_ understood something. "I do." She couldn't help but smile. The feeling of triumph, at starting to understand her zanpakutō, shone through.

"Good," the woman said, brushing her hand against Karin's cheek. "You've done very well. You'll be great, one day, Karin-chan."

"Domo arigato…" Karin faltered. A name stuck at the back of her throat, for a moment. But when she tried to search for it in her mind, she found no trace of it.

**[C]**

[**T**]he starry skies of her inner world faded to the plain, unremarkable sky of the real world. Shivering as the cold of the night seeped into her sweater, Karin climbed back down into the house.

_Tōshirō would be here, soon, s_he thought.

He was due to stop for dinner, and to set up the barrier just in case Karin set off a storm.

_Not that I think I'll accidentally call up a storm, again, s_he mused. _But it's nice to know he cared enough to offer, to stop by and make sure I'll be okay._ Karin paused, thinking of her conversation with her zanpakutō. _Or maybe… I should tell him I don't think I need his kidō barrier anymore. And tell him I like how he stops by… and… _

…_And how I hope he'll continue to do so._

_Perhaps we could talk for a little bit._

She sucked in a breath as she realized how sappy she sounded, then frowned. As always, she was disconcerted by how easily Tōshirō slipped under her guard, how quickly she had come to regard him as a close friend. She supposed this was what people meant by "clicking" with someone else. Her frown deepened.

She felt acutely embarrassed at that moment. And professing those awkward inner thoughts to the young taichō seemed like a monstrously daunting task. But somehow, Karin knew it was something her zanpakutō would have wanted her to do. After all, Hitsugaya Tōshirō, if anything, would be the _one_ person aside from herself, who would understand her completely. She needed to learn to accept that, needed to see that for herself.

As the various adults in her life had explained, as her own inner self had explained, there wasn't any going back. There was only moving forward. And forward involved new roles, new relationships… perhaps a new life.

But Yoruichi was right. It could have been worse. She could have landed Jinta.

Karin shuddered.

**[C]**

* * *

_This chapter isn't as action-packed as some of the other chapters, but as usual, necessary for development... At least I know for certain that Karin plays with a hollow next chapter. That should make things fun. Maybe._

_Leave a review, let me know what you think. Let me know what you think will happen next, or what you don't want to happen next, or anything, really. _

_Yoruichi's parting words are directly from the manga. I take no credit in that._


	9. Chapter 9

_As always, lots and lots and lots of love to my amazing reviewers._

_To: Aachen, damaris, chibichan, RoseIris, and any other reviewers I wasn't able to send a PM to, THANK YOU._

_I've been busy (as always), so my apologies for not getting replies out quickly, or for not having had time to stop by to review things I said I was going to. I will get around to it, really. But I rather put in the time and effort to properly compose a reply than to shoot of a generic one liner. Honestly, I'm proud enough as it is that I'm managing to get this chapter out at the usual time. :X [Can't say I did the best proofreading job, so please point out stuff I can fix!] Here's to hoping I maintain a weekly update schedule now that school's started._

_This chapter is the first one where I switch the POV from Karin to Tōshirō halfway. I hope I made it clear when the switch occurs. And I suppose as a general comment to how I may write internal dialog (Or Shinigami/Zanpakut_ō _dialog): People don't always think linearly; Multiple meanings can be had in a single converstaion. What a character __starts talking about isn't always the same topic the character __ends the discussion with. But that's how people are in reality. And because I've noticed this happens more than once in the story, I thought I'll clarify this now. I swear I'm not just super sloppy when it comes to editing, or what not. If my train of thought is too difficult to follow, please let me know so I can be more explicit next time.  
_

_I don't own Bleach. If I did, Tatsuki would have gotten a lot more screen time. At least more than Keigo. Come on. :(  
_

* * *

**[C]**

[**S**]he slept surprisingly well last night, waking up bright and early the next morning, before Yuzu (a first), and completely energized.

Karin stretched, and got ready for the day, taking special care not to wake her sister up.

She wondered why this morning was particularly lovely, because it didn't seem all that special. Perhaps it was from last night – be it her long talk with her zanpakutō, or the two hours following that she spent with a certain Shinigami boy. Both talks had been involved, especially the latter. Karin couldn't remember _who_ had instigated the conversation, but somehow they had ended up discussing random details about their lives.

It was weird, to find out she was as interested as she was about what kind of person Hitsugaya Tōshirō was. But, as both of their zanpakutōs had pointed out, they were the one person out there that would _completely_ understand the other. And Karin found herself both fascinated with the random facts he listed in no particular order, and relieved that it was so easy to talk to him.

Granted, the _words_ weren't always the easiest to come by. More often than not both of them hesitated as they tried to put into words things they've never told anyone before. But once it was out there, a little piece of their soul laid bare, the understanding looks, the soft smiles (Not that he ever smiled with more than his eyes), the quiet nodding of heads… it was… _comforting_.

All in all, Karin thought as she packed Yuzu's school bag for once, it wasn't _all_ that bad, this supposed connection she had with Hitsugaya Tōshirō. She _still_ would have rather have had a say in things. She _did_ prefer her relatively small world view, where life was simple and consisted of school, soccer, food, and sleep. But, as all the adults had pointed out, it could have been worse. She could have been stuck with a slew of other people. And while Tōshirō was supposedly '_perfect'_ for her – an assertion her zanpakutō repeatedly made based on some key resonance in the boy's reiatsu – Karin had to grudgingly admit that she had lucked out, because beyond Tōshirō's personality, or key characteristics, or whatever it was that made him suitable for her, he was also a little bit _more_.

Karin had to stifle as laugh, as she thought: _After all, look at Urahara Kisuke and Shihōin Yoruichi. Otou-san was right, when he said Urahara-san was a lucky bastard. Yoruichi-san should have been way out of the shopkeeper's league._

**[C]**_  
_

"[**O**]h, oh no! Yuzu, I forgot, one of your friends in the sewing club called when you were in the shower. She asked if you could meet her early, something about an emergency."

Yuzu's expressive brown eyes widened considerably. "Oh no! Was it Yuki-chan? It must have been!" She froze, and proceeded to rummage around her backpack. "Oh good, I brought my sewing kit. Sorry, Karin-chan. Do you mind if I run ahead? I need to help Yuki-chan fix her puppy-chan."

Karin nodded waving her sister to go.

"Ok Karin-chan! I'll see you in school! Sorry!"

Karin was glad that Yuzu wasn't the suspicious type. Being unable to sense or see hollows, trying to explain to Yuzu the necessity of running away from the monsters was not the easiest task. It was a necessary evil, lying to her twin (Although, really, it was more of a half truth, because Yuki-chan had called, although it was to remind Yuzu that they had a date to sew up new outfits after class). There was no other easy way to protect Yuzu besides to send her off in a safe direction with as minimal fuss as possible. When Yuzu noticed someone was upset, she was hard to shake, because the sweet, caring side of her emerged, and the docile, brown-haired girl would insist on staying by the person's side until they were no longer upset… which tended to upset Karin further, when hollows were involved.

So, as Yuzu disappeared around the corner towards school, Karin let out the sigh of relief she had been holding. She waited a moment longer, steeling herself, before she turned around to where she felt the hollow lurking.

It felt… _normal_, if there was anything normal about monsters that preyed on souls. It felt like the usual hollows she encountered, something she knew (or hoped) she could handle. However, considering Tōshirō, Matsumoto, and the assortment of Shinigami that were currently in Karakura, Karin assumed the hollow wouldn't become her problem. The reiatsu was close by, but it felt… idle. With a cautious, backward glance, Karin took off in the direction of school, walking a little faster than usual.

This wasn't her fight; She had made sure Yuzu walked off from the danger, made sure the threat wasn't overwhelming. Karin had done her part…

The malevolent hollow reiatsu suddenly intensified, and seconds later rang a high pitched and frightened wail that could only belong to a little girl. Turning, Karin saw the spirit, a girl that couldn't be more than five or six, running as fast as her little legs could carry her. The child was crying, looking frantically over her shoulder as she tried to get away. Unaware that Karin was standing right in front of her, the girl barreled straight into Karin's legs.

The impact had Karin stumbling backwards.

"Whoa, careful!" she cried, reaching out to steady the child.

The stench of hollow only grew stronger, and Karin knew that she had seconds before the monster appeared and presumably ate the child.

_Damn it, _she cursed to herself.

It _figured_ that she didn't have her soccer ball. Because training with Yoruichi-san would have taken the entire afternoon, Karin had left the ball at home.

"Now what?" She asked out loud. She couldn't walk away now. Not when there was an innocent little girl involved who so conveniently happened to be clinging onto her right leg in fear.

_Now what? _Karin thought, directing her thoughts, she hoped, to her zanpakutō.

If her zanpakutō answered, Karin didn't hear the reply because the next thing she knew, the hollow was descending upon her and the small spirit.

Instinct kicked in. Karin picked the girl up and ran. She turned the corner, having enough presence of mind to head _away_ from the elementary school where Yuzu was, moving in the direction of the nearest open space she could think of - the soccer field - instead.

_Damn it. There's half a dozen Shinigami in this town and none of you are going to come to the rescue?_

As she sprinted towards the soccer field, Karin found out why. In the distance, she felt two hollows, somewhere across town. _Multiple hollow attacks_, Karin thought grimly. From the feel of it, neither were big time threats. But dealing with each hollow would be time-consuming, nonetheless. Most of the Shinigami, as far as Karin knew, were based out of her end of town. If they had responded to the other threat first, there was the problem of doubling back…

_Think, Karin!_ She screamed at herself.

She could try flaring her reiatsu – surely Tōshirō, or Otou-san, or someone would come running. But it would also attract more hollows, not to mention the attention of the other Shinigami, and Karin needed to stay low-key. She could try fighting it.

_But with what?_ She thought. _I don't have my soccer ball, or a katana…_

In desperation, the hollow quickly approaching, Karin pulled up her reiatsu like Yoruichi showed her. It coated her hands and arms like long, warm gloves. Hadn't the woman said something about using reiatsu like armor? In hand-to-hand combat?

There was no more time to waste. Karin knew she couldn't outrun the hollow for forever.

She set the girl down.

"Run." Karin told her. The child didn't have to be told twice.

Karin could only hope the hollow would be drawn to her instead.

She took a deep breath, experimentally balling her hands into fists. It was a sound plan… if only Karin could get close enough to the hollow to kill it.

The hollow was easily the size of a truck, with an awkward, bulky body. The bone mask resembled that of a rhinoceros, with a deadly, curving horn. The ground trembled as it charged straight for her. Karin could pack a punch, she knew that much. But whether she could hit the hollow where it would hurt, when the thing _towered_ over her, was a different story.

_Maybe if I stubbed its toe_, she thought frantically. _And slowly kicked its ass inch by inch until it was short enough to face me. Assuming I do more than tickle it…_

She eyed the hollow in apprehension. She knew that even if it didn't pierce her with the sharp horn, it was moving fast enough that the momentum of impact alone would shatter every bone in her body._ If _only _I had something to hit it with, long range!_

"But Karin-chan, a Shinigami has at their convenient disposal a whole plethora of long range attacks."

"What?" Karin blinked, but no stars came into view. She was still very much in the real world. There was no way the monster was part of her inner landscape. "Z… Zanpakutō-sama?"

The familiar voice whispered in Karin's head. "There wasn't the time, nor need to pull you into your world."

"Help me?" Karin asked. "What do I have, besides weapons?"

"Remember your lesson with Yoruichi. What did she say was your greatest strength."

Karin glanced down at her arms, coated in the silvery energy.

"She said I had great control over my reiatsu. That I was able to easily manipulate it."

"Do you trust me?"

Karin frowned. "You know I do."

"You won't need my assistance – nor weapon – to defeat this hollow then. Just use the reiatsu you've called forth already. You already determined what type of attack would be best in this situation. Take that reiatsu, visualize what you'd want it to do _to_ the hollow, and have that energy carry forth your intent."

It sounded simple enough, if not a tad vague. But Karin couldn't allow herself to have doubts.

There was no time for hesitation.

Karin focused, willing the energy wrapped around her limbs to concentrate within the palms of her hands.

_Visualize the energy. Visualize what I want to do with the energy. Release it. _Karin thought. _Right! I can do this!_

Palms clasped, Karin felt the accumulated energy collect within, dense and charged. She stared at the hollow, focusing her eyes on the center of its forehead.

"Go," she whispered, willing her reiatsu to obey.

It was over in seconds – the flash of iridescent silver shattering the mask, the creature dissolving even as its cumbersome body struggled to take its next step forward.

She let out a long, relieved sigh. Her hands tingled with residual power.

"Thank you, zanpakutō-sama," she whispered.

"You're _that_ much closer to understanding my capabilities," the woman whispered. "Continue trusting in me, in yourself, and you'll wield me with ease, Karin-chan."

"Karin-chan!"

The girl whirled around. Matsumoto was running towards her, one hand grasping the hilt of her sword.

"Rangiku-san!"

"Karin-chan, did you…" the woman started to say. She was interrupted by loud gasping sobs. The little spirit girl stumbled into view from behind the goal post. The danger over, the child did nothing more than fall down on the ground and cry.

"Aw," the strawberry blonde Shinigami cooed, and went to pick the girl up.

"It's okay," Matsumoto whispered soothingly. "The bad guy's gone."

The child continued to cry, flinging her arms around the woman. Karin watched with interest as Matsumoto rocked and cooed and petted the child. Slowly the tears subsided.

Finally, with gentle promises of a 'better place in soul society', where 'the bad people can't get you', the Shinigami set the child down. Moments later, the child was fluttering up into the air as a single butterfly.

"Karin-chan," the woman finally turned her attention back to the girl. "Just now… How did you-"

Something went off in the back of Karin's head.

"School!" She cried. She didn't have a watch, but Karin was _sure_ she was now late. "I'm sorry, Rangiku-san! I have to go!"

"Matte, Karin-chan! What happened back there?" The woman called.

Karin wasn't quite sure she would have told the woman if she had time to spare, anyway.

**[C]**

[**T**]here really was no point for Tōshirō to attend the high school. He stood out when what he really wanted to do was blend in. He was curious about Kurosaki Ichigo's companions, and observing them would be much easier, if he could sit in on classes and lunch while in his soul form, but Tōshirō had already established through Madarame that at least two of Kurosaki's classmates could see Shinigami, so that plan was already out.

He _really _wanted to find out more about the girl from a few nights ago, the one with the short black hair. From what he had gathered, she was a skilled fighter, perhaps even better than Ichigo at hand-to-hand combat. She was also more level headed than the substitute Shinigami. Despite his misgivings in involving humans, Tōshirō somehow knew that it would be a mistake to dismiss the possibility of human allies.

_One day_, he promised himself. _I'll take this one day, skip school, skip the necessity for a gigai, and actually catch up on this ridiculous paperwork. Then I'll go back to babysitting duty in Karakura High, and figure out precisely how contagious Kurosaki-_

"Taiiiiiiiichō!"

Tōshirō cringed as the sing-song voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Taichō! You'd never guess who I ran into while I was on patrol today!"

Not in the mood to play games, Tōshirō said shortly, "Kurosaki Karin."

His vice-captain seemed to deflate. "That's no fun. How did you know? Were you," and her voice had dropped to that scandalous, gossip-monger tone he hated, "stalking her again?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he said shortly. The weekly written report was due in a day, and the captain _really_ wanted to have it completed _early_ for once. "I felt her reiatsu."

"Eh?" The woman's eyes grew wide. "But Taichō. I was standing right _there_ and I couldn't feel Karin-chan at all."

Tōshirō merely stared at her.

"Hitsugaya-taichō is so amazing!" Matsumoto squealed. She tried to hug him, succeeding only in knocking over half his documents.

"Matsumoto, focus!" He said tersely. "Were hollows after Kurosaki?"

The woman peered at him, her face uncomfortably close to his. Tōshirō made sure his indifferent frown was firmly in place.

"Are you worried?" She started to tease.

His control over his temper snapped. "Fukutaichō Matsumoto Rangiku! Either give me your report or return to your assigned post at the high school!"

_That_ got the woman's attention. In a stiff, serious voice, she reported her morning. By the end of the report, Tōshirō found that his entire body was tense, as he tried his hardest _not_ to lose his temper on _every damn Shinigami in Karakura_.

"Let me get this straight," he said in a chilling tone, not caring how hostile he sounded. "You received multiple reports of hollow attacks. You, Ayasegawa, and Madarame were all at the high school. Madarame was busy with some human affair. So they let _you_ to take care of it. Even though there were five hollow sightings. And even after I made it _perfectly clear_ earlier this week that I expect _everyone_ to be on alert."

"Eh… Taichō… It's no big deal…" She wasn't his 2nd seat for nothing. Surely Matsumoto was bright enough to realize her captain was fuming.

"They sent you _across town _for the first three. And expected you to take care of the final two that showed later? When the high school was _right next to the hollow sighting?_"

"It was only one… Karin-chan took care of-"

"I don't care if Kurosaki took care of the last hollow. She is _not_ a Shinigami. It is _not_ her job to deal with the threat."

"Gomennasai…" Matsumoto mumbled. She was looking extremely uncomfortable now; the extent of his frustration must have finally gotten through to her.

"Whatever," Tōshirō muttered. "I'll deal with the others later. You need to get back to school. Remember your mission."

She nodded, and turned to leave.

"Eh, Taichō," the woman said, in parting. "You're really worried about Karin-chan, aren't you? I don't remember seeing you this mad in a long time." She smiled, trying to ease her superior's temper. It didn't do her any bit of good.

"Matsumoto?" his voice was deadly calm. "Since you seem to think you've spare time to chat, I'm sure you have the time to compile Abarai, Madarame and Ayasegawa's reports for tomorrow's submission."

"Wait, what?" She cried.

Tōshirō climbed to his feet. "I'm going out on patrol, since the others aren't going to."

The last thing he heard was his subordinate's wailing of "Taichō!"

**[C]**

[**H**]e opted to go without the gigai, relishing the freedom his 'natural' body provided. There were things he had to do, such as drag his delinquent team members off to one side and remind them of their duty and obligations. He had noticed the two 11th squad members spending an inordinate amount of time in the high school lately. It was true that part of his orders was for them to watch for the spiritually aware, but Tōshirō could not come up with any justification for the hours they were putting in. He would have to warn them about meddling in human affairs. The irony wasn't lost on him.

_At least I don't spend every waking moment with her_, Tōshirō thought as he turned his thoughts to the girl who was tied to his soul. That he was detouring from the high school to check out the elementary school first, only further emphasized the irony of his situation.

_But I didn't ask for this. And I will learn to balance this relationship. It's not as though I've let my responsibilities slip. _He knew he couldn't keep the relationship a secret indefinitely. Already, Tōshirō was brainstorming, trying to figure how to introduce Kurosaki Karin to the Gotei 13 in a manner that was legal, that would not shed criminal light on their pre-established dynamics.

It wouldn't matter, however, if the girl died due to Shinigami negligence.

"… _And just as I got there, I saw Karin-chan take the hollow out. A single, long ranged attack, Taichō! She was using kidō. And it wasn't a spell I recognized. I didn't even hear an incantation."_

Matsumoto's words rang in his ears. If he forced himself to confront the truth, Tōshirō would have to admit he had been terrified. At the first fluctuation of Karin's reiatsu, mere moments after the multiple hollow alert went off, he had been fully prepared to run to her side. It was only Hyōrinmaru's warning for him to wait that had Tōshirō remaining inside Orihime's apartment, on the edge of his seat as he monitored the situation from a far.

Tōshirō was confused. The absolute horror that filled him when he thought of Karin becoming injured or killed, the deep sense of pride that welled up upon hearing her growing potential and display of talent, the startling realization that somehow, he had become even more closely bound to the girl, enough that what once was a thin, stringy pulse of reiatsu he could barely grasp was now a warm silken rope that seemed to lace right through him…

_How had this happened? When did this happen? Why is it happening? And why to me? What would it mean for my future... Our future? And what about…_

He frowned, felt his heart skip a beat.

_What about Hinamori?_

A wave of guilt washed over him as he realized how many days it'd been since he'd thought of her: That night at the playground… what was it? Saturday? When he found himself staring at the stars... But not since. The time he had spent at the railing since, watching the sunset, was consumed by Karin, by the easy conversation they carried, the comfortable silences.

_My deepest apologies_, _Hinamori_, he thought. _I've let you down._

As soon as the thought flitted through his mind however, an all-too-familiar growl echoed in his ears.

**[C]**

"[**W**]hy are you brooding?" The dragon demanded, peering down at his wielder from his perch in the winter sky. It was snowing in the artic landscape, a rare occurrence even considering Tōshirō's affinity for all things ice.

"Hinamori," Tōshirō said by way of explanation. Apparently it wasn't explanation enough.

"And what of her?" Hyōrinmaru prompted. "What is it relating to her that is upsetting you?"

"I'm forgetting her," Tōshirō pointed out. "She's been… she's been my best friend my entire life. She's been there every step of the way. And now-"

"Now what?"

"Now I've replaced her with Kurosaki! With a girl I barely know!"

"You're saying you know better, then? That you want to spend your life with Hinamori Momo?"

"I've already spent most of my life with her!" The boy protested.

The dragon's voice was undeniably male, but somehow the spirit managed to capture the naïvity and innocence inherent in Hinamori's voice. "Those countless, wonderful, golden years, right, Shirō-chan?"

Annoyed, the words "Don't call me Shirō-chan!" left Tōshirō's lips before he could catch himself. Tōshirō froze. Wide, turquoise eyes stared at the magnificent ice dragon before him.

"She's _family_," Tōshirō finally said, sputtering. He was… He was…

He didn't know what he was anymore! This was _Hinamori_. Annoying, childish, bubbly Hinamori. But _Hinamori_ nonetheless!

"I can't just.. abandon her!" Tōshirō exclaimed. He stared at his zanpakutō, imploring the spirit for understanding. "I just…"

Shoulders slumped, Tōshirō sat down on the iced over ground, staring at the barren arctic wasteland with unseeing eyes.

An eternity seemed to pass. "Hyōrinmaru," he finally said, quietly. "Help me… help me understand."

The silence dragged on before the dragon finally growled, "Think of the girl, then. What comes to mind?"

What didn't come to mind? They had spent decades together, living with Granny. The countless memories flickered through his mind's eye. But about her specifically…

He thought of her impossibly large brown eyes, remembered how transparent they made her, revealing her every emotion. Her black hair, tied up in a bun. How it made her look older; How she _was_ older. How she loved to remind him of the fact. How she loved to tease, knowing what buttons to push, how she thought it was adorable how he'd get _so mad_. How she pouted when he refused to react. How she refused to acknowledge his achievements, continued to undermine his authority with every use of that damned childhood nickname, forgetting that he deserved _some _kind of respect.

He thought about how she had changed, when she entered the academy. The new light in her eyes, the determination, the new dreams and ambitions written in their depths.

He thought about how it hurt, watching her eyes start to water on the big screen. How betrayed _he_ felt, when she came pleading for the bastard's case. The distinct feeling that somewhere along the way, she had changed, moved on, and forgotten about him.

But!

"But what?" The dragon prompted, kindly.

"She's still Hinamori."

"And you'll always be her Shirō-chan."

"And that bastard nearly killed her, and she's barely recovering. I need to be there for her now!"

"But that's where you're wrong. It's not _you_ that needs to be there for her. It is all of her _friends_ that will be there for her. She's not going to change, not going to revert back to the girl you knew, way back when. You've seen how she's changed, even before she met Aizen." There was a pause, and somewhere along the way the dragon was no longer a dragon, but a man. A man who was sitting down by him, and giving his shoulder a firm squeeze.

"Hitsugaya-kun, you can still be there for her. But understand. You are not the same Shirō-chan she grew up with, either. Captaincy has changed you. Kusaka changed you. _You _have changed you. How long have you wanted to grow, to stop being treated like a child? Change is part of growing up.

"That you worry about her, think of her, want to see her better – these things show you care. You're not _obliged _to drop everything for her. You're not obliged to put your life on hold. You cannot live _for _her, Hitsugaya-san. You will always love the girl. Don't-" and the man raised a hand. "Don't argue. You love Hinamori, as she loves you. You've known each other all your lives. You are family. Don't cheapen your relationship with her with senseless self doubt and needless guilt."

Tōshirō only sighed.

"Talk to the girl. Karin."

"Hyōrinmaru!"

"Talk to her, Hitsugaya-san, you might see why she's meant for you."

**[C]**

[**W**]hen Tōshirō came out of his inner world, he found himself standing on the top of an apartment building, a few blocks away from the elementary school. Judging from the sky, he hadn't spent too long talking to Hyōrinmaru. Time always flowed funny inside that world.

He _really_ didn't want to talk to Karin, but as luck would have it, she _was_ the closest to him. And he _did_ need to talk to her. Although not for the reasons he knew Hyōrinmaru would give.

After all, she faced a hollow alone. She could have died.

It frustrated him that he cared about her.

Nonetheless, she used kidō!

He shook his head.

_Think of it as an unpleasant assignment_, he told himself. _You've been assigned to look out for Kurosaki Karin. Just do your job. Nothing more, nothing less._

With a sigh, he took off towards the elementary school.

**[C]**

* * *

_So, uhm... Don't hurt me, if this is a pretty pathetic cliffhanger. Because, remember, if you hurt me, then there'll be no conclusion to said story, and that'd suck more... right? Feel free to yell though. Or speculate, or pat me on the head and tell me I'm doing a good job. (Who knows? Maybe I'll update faster...)_

_It took awhile to go through this scene, and actually, the next chapter coming up wasn't exactly the easiest to write, either. The Hinamori tangent wasn't planned, but while writing this, she suddenly popped into my head, and I realized... the 'real' Hitsugaya Tōshirō would not have so conveniently forgotten his 'sister'. It's probably pretty obvious that I've no real love for Hinamori. Going through the anime episodes over and over to get a feel for how Tōshirō acts has also resulted in cementing my... ambivalence towards the girl. But I can't deny she's a big part of his life, and it would (IMO) hurt my portrayal of Tōshirō if I completely took her away._

_It might be a bit of a leap, to assume Hyōrinmaru would show that 'human' form to Tōshirō at any point, but to extrapolate from the current Anime arc, he was able to recognize Hyōrinmaru without question, so I can pretend he's seen Hyōrinmaru that way before. (I mean, sure, he could have just recognized the __feel of Hyōrinmaru, but lets just go with them having a close enough Shinigami/Zanpakutō relationship for it to be plausible, mkay?) Either way, writing Hyōrinmaru in general was a difficult task. Still, I hope this chapter was at least somewhat to expectations. Let me know what you think._

_Much love :)_


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: I'm not sure how much this would help with the whole cliff-hanger thing, but this is late enough as it is, so… Sorry if the chapter isn't what you wanted it to be. I took liberties with Kidō, not really having that much information to work with. I _loosely _based it around some of the concepts related to the Tea Ceremony in Zen Buddhism, in case anyone was wondering where the heck I pulled all this from._

_Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers. I haven't had a chance to reply to all of you quite yet, but I will get around to it. It was between me updating on time, and me replying :( I'll have the replies in by the weekend._

_Bleach does not belong to me. If only it did: Hanataro needs to grow a backbone. In a cute way._

* * *

**[C]**

[**H**]e found her classroom easily enough, having been there earlier that week, but was surprised to find that Karin was not in her normal spot. That desk was empty and Karin was seated in front of the class, a solitary table not far from the teacher's own. From how Karin was scowling at the woman, Tōshirō surmised the girl was being punished.

She noticed his presence almost immediately, her eyes darting to where he stood by the door. She stared for a moment. "Get me out of here," her eyes seemed to plead.

Tōshirō almost felt bad, but firmly stamped out the feeling. He wasn't supposed to be involved with humans. He should _not_ care.

He shrugged, and made to leave. If she was busy, he'd talk to her later. There was still the issue of Ayasegawa and Madarame's incompetence to attend to.

"Yes, Kurosaki?"

Karin had her hand raised, and was giving her teacher a sheepish but urgent look.

"Ano, sensei. But I really need to use the bathroom."

"Should have used it when you took that extra thirty minutes getting to school today."

"Sensei! I told you! It wasn't my fault! There was a little girl, and she was crying-"

"It is still your responsibility to get to school on time. We've been over this, Kurosaki. And you've been warned before about tardiness. Coming in late to school, uniform dirty, mud all over your shoes, then lying about some helpless little girl – who _obviously_ can't exist because all children _should have been_ in _school_ – just because you _had_ to get into another fight, or ran off to play soccer with the delinquents that hang out around the park, or whatever it is unruly girls like you do. I've heard _enough_. Keep this up and you'll be stuck in the seat of disgrace for the rest of the school year."

So the punishment was because she had been detained by the hollow. It wasn't her fault… not really.

Karin had her dark eyes locked onto him.

"_Please?" _she seemed to say. Tōshirō was annoyed at how she got to him. _No, _he thought to himself. Think_ of Hinamori_. _Think of my obligations to the Gotei 13. This… alliance with a living person is not what a captain does. Her punishment is unfair, but it is not my place to interfere._

Looking at her with hard eyes, he shook his head. Turning his back to her, he took off towards the high school.

**[C]**

[**S**]omething was wrong with Tōshirō. It was plain as day from the moment she saw him. If only the stupid teacher had let Karin go to him! At that moment, Karin wished she had the ability Ichi-nii had, to jump out of his body at will, and leave it behind to deal with stuff all the that really mattered.

Like finding out what was wrong with Tōshirō.

He was angry, yes. But that wasn't what concerned her. It was the worry she saw. Fear and sadness, clouding his usually beautiful blue-green eyes. A glimpse into his heart, enough for her to worry. Then he walked away from her. That selfish bastard.

Karin knew they weren't in a "relationship" of any kind. He didn't have to answer to her anymore than she had to answer to him. But for him to barge into class, weighed down on his own damn emotions, and upset her already pathetic day? She wanted to shake some sense into the boy.

Wasn't she supposed to be all perfect for him? Wasn't she supposed to understand him the best? Hadn't they already started to establish that they were becoming pretty good friends? Didn't _one _of those reason earn her some kind of explanation?

Damn it all.

The memory of those conflicted blue eyes haunted her. Undoubtedly Hitsugaya Tōshirō was the type of boy to bottle everything in, probably until he broke down from it. Why wouldn't he talk to her, then?

Stupid males. Stupid males and their need to be the strong, silent types.

"Yo, Karin-chan."

She looked up, surprised to be visited a second time by a Shinigami, this time in the form of Shihōn Yoruichi.

Her mouth opened, the word, "Hello" starting to form, before Karin remembered where she was. Surreptitiously pointing at her teacher, Karin shrugged and put on her most apologetic look.

"Punished, eh? What did you do?" Yoruichi leaned over her desk, and pushed a sheet of paper in front of Karin.

Until that point, Karin hadn't realized Yoruichi was in spirit-form. But the entire class, including the teacher who was mere inches away, was oblivious to the royal. Karin picked up a pencil and wrote, "Was late for class. Ran into a hollow."

Yoruichi's eyes gleamed. "The one by the soccer field? I thought so. How did you handle it?"

"I don't know," Karin wrote honestly. "I channeled some reiatsu, shot it at the hollow. My zanpakutō told me how." She fumbled with the characters for reiatsu and zanpakutō.

"My, my. You're full of surprises, aren't you Karin-chan? How about we get you out of class?"

Karin stared blankly at the woman.

"Just you sit back. Leave it to me."

Karin's eyes were only barely able to follow Yoruichi as she did _something_ to the elementary school teacher. The prim and proper sensei crumpled into an ungainly heap on the floor.

"See!" Yoruichi said rather smugly.

"Is she going to be okay?" Karin couldn't help but whisper back, half fascinated, half horrified at how easily Yoruichi had disabled the woman.

The dark-skinned woman waved off Karin's concern. "That was nothing. Your sensei will enjoy a nice, long nap, and will be right as rain tomorrow!"

Karin nodded, unsure of how else to react.

The classroom had erupted into utter chaos. A teacher from the neighboring classroom came running in. Shortly after the school nurse arrived, along with the principal. Thirty uncomfortable minutes later, with multiple adults trickling in and out of the classroom - all of whom paused to give Karin a look that let the girl know they did not approve of her, never mind that they didn't know what she'd done wrong - it was decided that the children would be let out of class early. There were no substitutes available to supervise a class. Their parents had already been informed.

"Come on," Yoruichi said as everyone packed up. "I wanna see what you did with the hollow earlier."

"Could I…" Karin felt a blush spreading, and tried to shake the embarrassment off. "Think I could check on Tōshirō real quick, first?" She asked.

"Eh?" Yoruichi looked at Karin. "Miss Hitsugaya-kun already?" The woman teased.

"No!" Karin cried, then realizing people were staring at her now – after all it did look like she was talking to thin air – lowered her voice. "He's acting weird. He's worried about something. And angry," she added as she reached out to Tōshirō's reiatsu and came away with ice and hostility. "He's not himself." She ended, aware of how sappy she sounded.

Yoruichi nodded. "Why don't you head over to the training area. I'll let Tessai know we're starting early. And I'll check up on Hitsugaya-kun for you, how is that?"

"Arigato, Yoruichi-san."

"No worries, Karin-chan. Been there, done that. I hope you have it easier than we did."

**[C]**

"[**A**]h, Hitsugaya Taichō… You see…"

Tōshirō knew he was leaking reiatsu, knew he was (possibly) being unreasonable in his anger. But he didn't care right this moment. He was Captain, and they had to answer to him.

"No, I don't see." Tōshirō snapped. "Explain it to me one more time."

"I uh… owed the human girl who was giving us housing a favor, Hitsugaya Taichō! So I had to help her train the school's kendo club!"

"3rd seat Madarame! Have you forgotten your obligation to the Gotei 13?"

"No, Hitsugaya Taichō!"

"You are to cease this training. If it means you lose a roof over your head, _so be it_. I don't care what you do in your spare time. But when an alert goes out _you do your job. _You've done nothing but dally in human affairs all week. Do _not_ for one second think I am unaware of your inactivity. You are to make up for it immediately. I expect your weekly report in by the end of today. Complete. And. Edited. And if it is a blank sheet of paper because _you have had nothing to report, _you are going to find that the consequences are _very unfortunate._"

"Yes! Hitsugaya Taichō!"

"Where is Ayasegawa? I want to speak to him too."

"Uh… I can pass what you've said to him too…"

"I prefer to handle this myself."

Even to his own ears, Tōshirō knew he sounded cold and harsh. But god damnit, he was sick of the complacency, the distractions, the needless antics. If they could not show him respect, then…

_Augh!_

The early encounters with the Arrancar cemented in Tōshirō's mind the strength Aizen's army would possess. It was time for the Shinigami to step up their game. They could not afford to waste time. Abarai had the right idea – he was working his ass off, to get stronger, to defeat the traitors. Everyone else…

Tōshirō just about growled.

"Tell Ayasegawa I expect him to report to me by the end of the day."

"Hai, Taichō."

Tōshirō left without another word. Just outside of the empty classroom, the boy Keigo was clinging onto the doorframe, blatantly eavesdropping. At least the boy had the sense to run in the opposite direction, when Tōshirō leveled a cold stare in his direction. If only the others were that sensible.

He sighed, with hands shoved in this pockets, started to head towards the direction he could feel Ayasegawa in. If the captain wasn't mistaken, the other 11th division member was holed up in the school cafeteria. Lovely. At least they didn't serve sake to children. Goodness knew how hard it would be to drag _any_ of his damn team members away for a talk – business or otherwise – then.

"Why so angry, Hitsugaya-kun?"

Tōshirō swirled around. Yoruichi was leaning against the wall next to him, arms crossed, eyeing him with interest.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichō," he said with a scowl. "And nothing is wrong," he said shortly. He knew he couldn't outrun the woman; Knew it was childish to try and run, anyhow.

"Karin-chan's pretty upset."

He tensed before he could help himself. "It's not my fault if she's in trouble," he said, hoping the woman would buy his nonchalance.

She wasn't. "It isn't the end of the world if you care about her, you know. You don't have to lie about it."

If he thought he could get away with rolling his eyes, he would. "Sure," he said tersely. He turned and made to walk away.

"Hitsugaya-kun." Yoruichi had her hand on his wrist, and held him with a surprisingly tight grip as she pulled him back towards her. "Talk to Karin-chan," she said, all business now.

"I will."

"Don't lie."

He stared at her. What would have left people feeling chilled, had the Shihōin princess smirking at him in amusement.

"Been there, done that. Trust me, it'll get better… Fighting this is just going to hurt both of you."

Tōshirō remained impassive.

"Talk to Karin-chan. I've got her out of school, but I have to talk to Kisuke and Tessai real quick before I start her training proper. You should know where she is."

He shook his head. "I have reports to finish."

"You have Matsumoto working on them."

Tōshirō could feel his eye twitching. What was this? Had the woman been stalking him?

"Fine," He said. "I'll speak with Kurosaki."

"Right now. Leave Ayasegawa-san for later. I'll make sure to have him waiting for you."

It took the 10th squad captain several deep breaths to control his temper. Damn Kurosaki, damn meddling zanpakutōs, and this whole damn affair. Hitsugaya Tōshirō had not spent his entire Shinigami career working to prove himself, establish that he was more than just some _kid_, only to be reduced to such a pathetically childish state because of some girl. He could do better than this.

With all the dignity he could muster, Captain of the 10th division, Hitsugaya Tōshirō nodded. "If there's nothing else, I'll head to Kurosaki now."

If only he could do something about the smug smile on the woman's face.

"She's at the usual place. Go talk to her. And stop frowning. It makes you look like an old man."

The Goddess of Flash was gone before Tōshirō could reply.

**[C]**

[**S**]he was so focused on her little reiatsu ball that she didn't notice his presence. So when the edges of black kimono entered her field of vision, Karin dropped the sphere of energy. It dissipated before it hit the ground as her concentration broke.

"Tōshirō!" She exclaimed. "You're ok! That's a relief." But the smile on her face wavered, as she caught the wariness in the boy's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"We shouldn't be doing this." He said.

Karin frowned. "Do what? What's wrong? You've been tense since I saw you this morning…"

Tōshirō cut her off. "This!" He said, gesturing around them. "My consorting with you. You're a living soul. I have obligations to the Gotei 13. We should not be bound. This makes no sense."

"Right," Karin said cautiously. "But we already established it can't be helped."

"So maybe we didn't try hard enough!"

Something inside Karin snapped. She surged to her feet, and stared straight into those cold, unwelcoming blue eyes of the Shinigami before her. "Do you think I want this? Do you? I faced a bloody hollow today, and I was defenseless. I had nothing! No katana, not even a soccer ball to save my ass.

"I had to lie to Yuzu, to get her to run. She's still mad at me; she thinks I got rid of her to… go play soccer, or get into a fight, or whatever it was my crazy teacher accused me of. I was late for school, as I am often late for school, because of the damn spiritual world.

"My life would be so much simpler, if none of you existed. I wouldn't be running interference, trying to keep Yuzu smiling when Ichi-nii disappears for long periods of time, or worse yet, returns home broken. I would not have all these migraines and sleepless nights. I would not be haunted by the stench of death and decay. I would not be causing freak storms, or conversing with my _soul_, because YOU happened to awaken her. I'm _eleven_, Hitsugaya Tōshirō. I know it's been a damned _long_ time since _you _were that age, since you're so quick to _remind _me, but let me tell you this: eleven year olds are not meant to be skipping class to learn how to control their _reiatsu_."

Karin was screaming now. She wanted to hit the boy. She wanted to wipe that look of surprise, and the cold mask he slipped on over it, off the Shinigami captain's face. She hadn't lost this much control in a long, long time.

Most importantly, Karin hated how her heart wrenched at how Tōshirō shut her out.

"So I'll leave," he said tonelessly. "And this will be over."

The mirthless laugh left Karin's lips before she could stop it. "Really, Tōshirō? Just like that? Pretend it doesn't exist and it won't? Real mature. I mean, really."

His empty eyes met, and held her own. "That is Hitsugaya-Taichō, for you," the boy said coldly.

Karin's jaw dropped.

"Goodbye, Kurosaki."

And he was gone in a blink of an eye.

For the oddest reason, it felt as though she could hear his voice in her head. He was whispering, "I'm so sorry, Hinamori."

**[C]**

[**W**]hen Yoruichi returned with a stocky, mustached man in tow, Karin was destroying the tree truck Tōshirō had sat on the day before, piece by piece, methodically attacking it with projectile reiatsu until it was reduced to splinters and ash.

"Impressive, Karin-chan," the woman observed.

Karin jumped, and turned to face the two adults watching her with amused eyes.

"Yoruichi-san!" Karin stammered. "And... uh... Tessai-san!"

"Something the matter, Karin-chan?" The woman enquired.

"Oh, oh no." Karin said, sounding a little too chipper. "Everything is just dandy."

"Let me guess, Hitsugaya-san?"

Karin smiled, a tad too brightly. "Oh no, no. I'm just practicing."

Yoruichi smirked. "Been there, done that, remember? What did he say?"

Karin's smile faltered, then. "I… I don't know. Just… Just…" With sharp golden eyes pinning Karin to the spot, the emotions from the confrontation earlier came rushing back. Through gritted teeth, she snarled, "Just that this-" and she pointed at herself. "Was a mistake. And that we hadn't tried hard enough to stop this."

She watched as golden eyes were rolled. "Boys. All idiots. I'll straighten him out." But there was something about the way Yoruichi said it that had Karin balking.

"Matte, Yoruichi-san," Karin interrupted. "It… I just… It probably wasn't his fault. I- He sounded upset, you know? Like something bad had happened? He said something…" And she paused, because the way he had whispered the name sounded fairly intimate, and Karin wasn't sure it was something to share-

"Something? Well, I'm going to go and talk to Hitsugaya-kun now, the-"

"Hinamori!" Karin said hastily. She _definitely_ did not like the look in Yoruichi's eyes. "I- I think he said something about being sorry to Hinamori."

"Right, that does sound like him." Yoruichi looked contemplative for half a second. "Right. Well, Karin-chan, I'll be right back!"

"Yoruichi-san!" Karin called, but the woman was already racing over the tree-tops, and out of view.

The girl frowned.

"Karin-chan," a deep voice said, causing Karin to tear her eyes away from the skyline to look at the man. "I'm Tessai. Would you care to show me how you were doing what you were doing?"

Feeling more than a little defeated, Karin sighed. From what Yoruichi had said, kidō sounded interesting. It would be something to take her mind off of a certain boy. Maybe.

"Well," Karin said, pulling up yet another small ball of reiatsu. She offered it to the man for consideration. "My zanpakutō told me that all I needed to do was…"

**[C]**

[_**K**_]_idō,_ Karin decided, was _fun_. Ok, so the theory part wasn't _quite_ as interesting, at least in the beginning. But then something Tessai said, about designated incantations and gestures caught her attention.

"Gestures?" She had asked, and proceeded to make the man repeat half of his lecture.

Kidō, or demon magic, he explained, had a lot to do with will-power, and concentration. Specific incantations were often used, along with elaborate hand gestures, because it forced the caster to focus. Kidō spells were essentially a _very_ fine tuned manipulation of reiatsu and reishi, spirit particles.

When Tessai, after watching her play with low level spells for awhile, finally asked, "Are you sure you're Kurosaki Ichigo's sister?" Karin laughed, thoughts of Tōshirō (mostly) out of her mind.

The incantations, Karin still struggled with. But the gestures came easily enough, and with practice, Karin found that she was able to identify the different _feel_ of the reiatsu associated with each spell. That made things much easier.

She was so absorbed with the lesson that lunchtime caught her off guard.

She was hungrier than expected, and after wolfing down the bento box Yuzu prepared, Karin graciously accepted the second box that Tessai offered. Over tempura and rice, the man explained to her how her body would require more food, to replenish her reiryoku store.

Conversation led to a history of her spiritual awareness, and onto her most recently conversation with her zanpakutō. Tessai didn't appear to be a man of many words, but he seemed genuinely interested in Karin's situation, and perhaps that was why he was speaking so freely with her.

"Your zanpakutō is most wise," the man told her, with a smile. "Kidō based zanpakutōs especially require a certain touch to wielding them, because there is more to them than the clash of blades. The wielder must learn how to control the kidō elements, otherwise the attacks will go astray."

Karin nodded thoughtfully. "So… Patience, then?"

"Patience, discipline, dedication," the man nodded. "Those are the keys to mastering your zanpakutō."

Awed, Karin could only ask, "Do you really think I can?"

The man smiled at her. "I believe your zanpakutō wouldn't be guiding you so strongly if you weren't ready. Many an entry level Shinigami into the Gotei 13 and its affiliates start out with a dormant zanpakutō. Many never achieve Shikai in their lifetime, and several others take decades to achieve that state. That you're able to converse as you have been with your zanpakutō means you're already ahead of the learning curve."

It took Karin a moment to absorb all the information.

"So you guys really think I can become a Shinigami?" She asked. "I mean, don't I have to… die or something?"

"The quality of your soul is definitely that of a Shinigami. But I'm afraid I don't understand how this came about. You'd have to speak with Urahara-san to learn more about that. He understands more of those kinds of mechanisms." Karin winced at the thought of speaking to the eccentric shop keeper.

Come," Tessai said, as he cleared up after the meal. "I suspect Yoruichi-sama will be returning shortly. Would you like to start on some of the Bakudō spells, until she returns? I'm interested in running through the list to see what you can handle."

Bakudō. The defensive spells, stuff that she could use to protect people, such as Yuzu. Karin nodded enthusiastically.

"Something practical, please," the girl requested. "Lets' start with the stuff you think I'll use the most."

The man thought for a moment. "Very well. We'll start in the lowder midrange. This is Bakudō 26, Kyakko…"

**[C]**

[**I**]t was the first time Tōshirō ever purposefully ignored his zanpakutō. Hyōrinmaru was always so _good_ about giving him space, when he needed it. Hyōrinmaru could usually tell when Tōshirō wasn't ready for something; The dragon spirit knew when to back off, and wait for when his master was ready, before bringing up a delicate point. But not this time.

_Had something happened, during this debacle with the girl, that even his zanpakutō had become changed in the process?_ Tōshirō wondered. He shoved down the nagging thought that Hyōrinmaru was pressing the issue because it was urgent. That the girl was something Tōshirō had to deal with now.

_Aizen is a pressing issue. The Arrancar, the Espada, those are pressing issues. Hinamori's finally out of coma, that's a pressing issue. An illegal relationship with a living soul, not so much. That can wait a lifetime. Or two._

His head was pounding, and Tōshirō suspected the headache was a result of his sword.

In the living room, Matsumoto was finishing up editing the weekly reports. Tōshirō almost felt sorry for dumping the work on her. But the paperwork. At least the paperwork was done.

Still, his head… his head felt like it was about to split apart, and the nauseated, queasy feeling would not leave the pit of his stomach.

He had to fix things. They had to get out of the living world, soon. Especially now that they knew what Aizen was after… There was no way this rag tag group would save the entire town. They needed a contingency plan. They needed backup.

"You idiot!"

The fist came out of nowhere, and Tōshirō found himself reeling back, his vision bursting into a million tiny stars as his head connected with the wall behind him.

"Whoa. You really weren't paying attention, were you, Hitsugaya-kun." The grating voice of Shihōin Yoruichi came from somewhere next to him.

"Damn you," Tōshirō growled. He struggled to shake off the disorientation. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Knocking some sense into your thick skull, apparently." Her golden eyes examined him carefully. "What happened, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"Nothing," he bit out. "Don't you have something better to do?"

"Nope!" The woman said cheerfully. "All that I'm concerned about right now is making things right between you and Karin-chan."

"There's nothing between us," Tōshirō could feel his eye twitching, a dead giveaway of his frustration. That got him to pull him temper back in. Annoying though this woman might be it was unbecoming for him to lose control of himself like this. Once was more than enough.

"You're way too uptight," the woman observed. "Relax a little bit. It's not the end of the world, being with Karin-chan. It probably won't even be against any regulations. She's Shinigami through and through. Yamamoto-taichō isn't going to give you any trouble. We'll make sure of that."

"But I don't want her," Tōshirō said. "I don't need a girl in my life."

"And Hinamori?"

"Hinamori's different."

"Precisely," the infuriating woman said. "Hinamori isn't tied to your soul. I'm _not_ saying she's less important! But realize Karin-chan is part of you, whether you like it or not."

He could only growl.

"Hey. Stop it," Yoruichi snapped, utterly serious now. "You are not the only person going through this. You are not the only person who has had to go through this. Believe me, I've said this multiple times, but _you are not alone_. Kisuke and I have been through it, and it was not pretty. Stop trying to make the mistakes we made."

"You seem to be perfectly happy together."

"We are," she said calmly. "Because we aren't always together. It takes times, learning to understand each other. It takes compromise. But you eventually find a happy medium, and everything just… falls into place. Kisuke has his store, his experiments, his meddlesome tendencies. I like to wander off, out in the open, and explore. I like the sun, I like being active. He likes being holed up in some stuffy, dimly lit hell room for weeks on end. We give each other space. We don't force the other to change who they are. We're able to function as we are because we are able to understand each other. And in the end… You'll find it's very comforting to have someone who'd accept you, with all your quirks and eccentricities."

"I don't have _any_ time, for her. We don't even belong in the same worlds, even if she does have high reiatsu."

The woman burst out into amused laughter again. "Oh, Hitsugaya-kun. All this time we've been talking about how we were going to help train Karin-chan in the aspects of being a Shinigami, and you've never bothered to find out _why _we were saying that? You didn't even feel it, did you? Let's see…"

She tilted her head upwards, her eyes closed as she felt for something.

"Here… and… stupid kidō barrier, can barely feel… there we go!"

Her hands darted out, and pulled into view two red spirit threads. "Here we go!" Yoruichi said happily. She shoved the two threads in front of him, forcing him to cross his eyes, and finally step back before he could get a good look at them.

"What the…" Tōshirō said, staring numbly at the ribbons clasped in Yoruichi's hands. He could feel the slight tug on his soul, and knew one of the threads were his. But the other…

It was entwined to his with a delicate red string that wove between the two threads.

Dumbfounded, he could only utter, "It can't be…"

"Sorry, Hitsugay-kun. We told you it's unavoidable. If you continue to fight against it, you're just going to rip the two of you to shreds."

He shook his head. "There has to be another way! I made a promise to protect Hinamori. I can't abandon her just because of… of this!"

"What does looking after Hinamori have to do with this? Karin-chan isn't Hinamori. And there's no choosing one over the other. Your zanpakutō's done the choosing for you. And as for your worried about Hinamori, ever thought of talking to Karin-chan about this? Perhaps she would have some insight on the demands of your 'relationship' in the context of your pre-existing relationship with Hinamori." Yoruichi's voice was uncharacteristically gentle.

"What's the point?" He wondered out loud. "She wouldn't understand."

"Ahh, but Hitsugaya-kun, that's where you're wrong. Karin-chan would understand very much. Otherwise she wouldn't be so tightly tied to you."

He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing everything could be part of some awful dream, and would just go away.

"Talk to Hyōrinmaru," Yoruichi advised. "Then talk to Karin-chan. And talk to your subordinates. I understand you are captain, and in charge of this mission. But think about whether you let your emotions affect your interaction with your subordinates."

She didn't press him any further when he buried his face in his hands.

"Karin-chan is working with Tessai on kidō right now. Sounds like she's got a kidō based zanpakutō. I think we might pull her out of her body this evening, check her out as a Shinigami. If she's anything like Ichigo, she's going to come out swinging, zanpakutō at her side and everything." There was a look that could only be described as "sadistic glee" on the former captain's face. "If you're gonna apologize, do it before she has access to a katana. She's dangerous enough with kidō, though I'm pretty proud of that kid. Karin reduced a tree to splinters, only using raw reiatsu. Imagine what it'd be like to have her chasing after you with kidō _and_ a sword. And don't forget how her brother seems to burst out into those crazy power spikes when stressed out. You wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that."

In a perfect world, a Shinigami Captain had no business being afraid of a human girl. Pity the world Hitsugaya Tōshirō lived in was _far _from ideal.

**[C]**

* * *

_So here we go with chapter 10. I've not had too much of a chance to proof read, so I apologize. Looking ahead, this back and forth rapid POV change shouldn't last much longer. I don't know how it's working for you guys as readers, but it's hard for me to switch in and out of Karin and Tōshirō's heads when editing for character consistency. Pity I didn't think about that when I first wrote these chapters._

_I love reviews, so be nice and leave me one. I promise I'll get back to you on them soon, at least after I'm done being sick. Who gets ear infections past age 6? Apparently me. Now I know why children scream so much when they get one. It hurts._


	11. Chapter 11

_All I have to say, is a resounding thank you to all you readers who've taken the time to review. 150 reviews, and 20 for Chapter 10 alone. Much love to you all. To the anon-reviewers that I couldn't reply to, I appreciate the reviews and comments, and please keep them coming. You all make my world so much brighter._

_I clearly don't own Bleach. Because "Getsuga Tenshō" is the name of an attack that requires… far, far more creativity than I could ever possess to come up with. I liked it better before I looked up the characters for it. :(_

_

* * *

_

**[C]**

[**O**]nce again, Tōshirō found himself running across the rooftops, this time heading for the forest in the outskirts of town. He was a mess – he didn't know precisely what he was supposed to do. He started the day feeling relatively good, largely because (if he had to be honest with himself) he had really enjoyed the time talking to Karin on the roof of the Kurosaki's house the night before. It made him queasy now to think about it, but he had really started to regard Karin as something special, even if he hadn't realized it back then.

When had he allowed her to get that close?

**[C]**

"[**S**]top over-thinking things." Hyōrinmaru chided.

The boy frowned. Two times in a day that his zanpakutō pulls him into himself for a lecture. He must be doing _something_ right.

"You are not yourself," the dragon pointed out. "You don't usually let your emotions get to you the way they have."

Tōshirō merely shrugged.

"Perhaps you have been bottling your emotions up for too long. Overload, perhaps?"

"And that is why it's better to not have them," the boy pointed out.

"All humans have emotions."

"I'm a Shinigami. Not human."

Hyōrinmaru let out a soft chuckle. "Semantics. Besides, does it really matter?"

"Yes." Tōshirō said, even as the oddest sense of déjà vu swept over him, as he thought back to one of the many conversations he had had with Karin in the past couple of days. He narrowed his eyes at the dragon spirit before him. "Why are you quoting Kurosaki?"

"Ah." If dragons had lips to smile with, Hyōrinmaru would definitely be smiling. "But I'm merely quoting you, Hitsugaya-kun."

And that, the boy realized, was the truth.

"Can't this all go away?" He asked.

"Afraid not."

"Why? You're my soul. Stop binding with her."

The dragon spirit shook his head. "You're telling me to let go of something amazing. Something that would make you a better person?"

"She's just another girl!" Tōshirō pointed out.

"I told you to trust your instincts," Hyōrinmaru said, changing the topic. "Why are you intentionally ignoring them?"

"They don't feel right. They can't be right."

"Oh? Feel right with your heart? Or right with your mind?"

There was no immediate answer from the white-haired boy.

"Talk to Karin-chan. Tell her everything. Even if she says she understands – and you will find many things can be left unsaid with her, and she'll still understand – say it out loud anyway."

Tōshirō raised his eyes up, regarded the dragon spirit seriously. "Why?"

"Because she isn't the one who needs to hear it. You do."

His inner world was fading away, but Tōshirō could hear his zanpakutō's voice echoing in his head.

"Heart and soul are connected. What is important, is _where is the heart_."

**[C]**

[**T**]ōshirō was startled to find how much time had passed when he found himself standing back on the roof again. His head ached. His heart ached. And all he wanted to do was crawl into bed, and catch his afternoon nap.

But no. He… he had to talk to Kurosaki. It wouldn't do for him to ignore Hyōrinmaru any further. One thing at a time, Tōshirō told himself. And if it ended badly… he'd blame it on Shihōin Yoruichi.

Tōshirō had not expected the massive kidō barrier erected around the training site. Watching Karin work with Tessai, however, Tōshirō saw the necessity. The Shihōin royal had not been joking, when she said Karin would be dangerous with Kidō.

Like how Hinamori was an amazing Kidō master.

He shoved that thought out of his head, and tried to focus on the girl below him.

She was working through a series of spells. Not practice drills like in the academy, where trainees cast the same spells over and over at test targets. Karin was working through a combination of different offensive and defensive spells. It resembled some of the drills the advanced kidō class did, where students learned how to string multiple spells together in rapid succession to achieve different ends.

Part of him was surprised at Karin's proficiency. Another part of him was alarmed, because Yoruichi's playful warning was running through his head again.

Tōshirō steeled himself. It would be silly, to view Karin as a threat. He was the 10th Division Taichō. He had faced far worse than her.

Taking in a deep breath, Tōshirō pressed his way through the barrier.

There was no incantation. He hadn't expected that. As a result, moments after he passed the kidō barrier, Tōshirō found himself completely surprised by the new kidō shield that was erected right behind him. The spark of energy shot right over his head, extended downwards. It was a defensive tool, a solid barrier to ward off attacks. God knew what Karin was doing, setting one up right behind him.

The seconds he wasted to turn, and look at the shield, were his downfall.

"Bakudō 30! Shitotsu Sansen!"

Normally, using that spell wouldn't have amounted to much in the air, because it required a hard surface to pin the target against. Tōshirō had but a moment to stare at the girl, before he felt himself slammed against the shield she had erected behind him.

"Very good, Karin-chan. And in a single try. Now you can contain him with Bakudō 73, and lead through with a single Sōkatsui."

Karin didn't even _look_ at the boy she had trapped. Instead, she tilted her head up at the former Kidō corps captain and smiled. "Eh, Tessai-san. This is pretty nifty! I mean, all the things I can do, once I have everything mastered…"

"It'll take awhile, Karin-chan. Give it time. Shinigami have the potential to live centuries. You might find that in those long years, you might possibly create your own kidō spells. But first you must understand the foundation of kidō."

There was an excited look in Karin's eyes.

"And you said you'd loan me a copy of the basic kidō manual, right?"

"Just don't accidentally blow things up experimenting. And Karin-chan," the man added gently. "Don't you want to let Hitsugaya-san down?"

"Oh." Karin looked up at where Tōshirō was suspended. There was a mixture of embarrassment and anger in her eyes. "I suppose," she said to the man.

Tōshirō blinked. Let him down? He supposed he could break out of the spell if he used his reiatsu, but how on earth was Karin otherwise supposed to let him down from high above the tree tops?

"…Tsuriboshi!" he caught her saying. Below him, a net formed.

Oh. Oh no. She wasn't going to just drop-

All the spells holding him up fell apart, and Tōshirō felt himself falling.

"Karin-chan, at least let him down gently."

Tōshirō heard a sigh.

"Right. Uh… what was it… the rope spell… It felt like…"

The ground was rushing up to him. Why wasn't _his_ training and instincts kicking in? Surely he could use hohō...

"Bakudō 9! Hōrin."

The rope wound around him, and all Tōshirō could think of, as his body, coupled with the efforts of gravity, jerked against the restraints which held him was, "Where are all her incantations?"

**[C]**

[**S**]he set him down lightly on the net, showing much more finesse than he had expected from a beginning kidō caster. He wasn't quite as impressed, however, when she refused to lift the kidō spell. He would forever deny he felt even the slightest stirring of panic when she turned to Tessai, and asked, "You said that Hadō 11 would transmit through physical objects, right? Would that work with the web?"

The bespectacled man never looked quite as menacing as he did now, peering from him to Karin. "That would be one use of the web. Karin-chan is a fast learner."

Karin smiled. "I won't hurt him, though. Promise. But I do want to talk, if that's ok?"

The man nodded, and turned for the other end of the clearing.

She waited a moment, until the large man was well out of hearing range, before speaking. "I didn't think you'd care to show up, Hitsugaya-taichō." Her voice was bitter, and laced with anger.

He stared at her stoically. He didn't have to deal with this. He didn't…

Hyōrinmaru growled in his head.

"I was distracted, earlier." He muttered, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Right," she had huffily, crossing her arms against her chest as she glowered at him. "Because Shinigami Taichōs have so many duties and things to do. Why would they bother with silly little human girls."

"You're not silly." He said.

"Aren't I?" she asked. "I was certainly silly enough to worry, when I saw how badly hurt and frightened your eyes were. I was bloody silly to think you'd maybe share it with me, that _I_ would actually be able to take that look away. And certainly, I'm the silly, weak willed one, seeing how _I DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH TO FIGHT THIS_!"

He winced as she yelled the last part.

"Karin" he started.

"Don't!" She screamed at him. "Don't you even dare call me by my name. Not when you're the ass that is putting distance between us, _Hitsugaya-taichō_. Do you think I _want_ to be upset about you pushing me away? Do you think I want to care? I _don't_. But I have my zanpakutō panicking in my head; Tessai had to put up the kidō barrier, because apparently I was leaking reiatsu _everywhere_, because _she_ was insisting we had to _find you,_ because once the connection is established, trying to break it would tear my soul apart. _MY SOUL_! And a week ago, I had ignored all philosophical debate about whether a soul existed."

"I was scared!" He blurted out.

"A Taichō of the Gotei 13, scared?" She mocked.

Tōshirō very nearly gave up then. _Why bother?_ He thought. _She's obviously angry, unreasonable. What is the point of trying to get through to her? Why do I even have to care?_

But the nagging feeling of guilt wouldn't leave the pit of his stomach, and from the headache he was experiencing, Tōshirō knew he had to face something far worse – an irate Hyōrinmaru – if he didn't try harder.

He hated being put on the spot.

"Look, Karin. I'm sorry."

Maybe it was something in his voice, but this time she looked at him, _really_ looked at him. He watched as her anger melted away into concern.

"What happened?" She asked softly. "You were a mess this morning. All I could feel was a whirlwind of anger and fear, and then you stopped by…" She shook her head. "I felt like an idiot, when you simply walked off. I knew I made you angry, because I could see it in your eyes. And later…"

She didn't say anymore. With a wave of her hand, the ropes that bound him fell apart. But before he could do more than shrug the stiffness out of his shoulders, Karin was climbing up onto the net with him. She sat on the edge, legs dangling, causing the web to sway.

"I may have destroyed the tree you were sitting on, yesterday." Karin said guiltily. "So we can make do with this to sit on… if you still want to talk."

**[C]**

"[**I**] don't see why you worried," Karin said quietly, when he finally fell silent. "It's obvious you love her."

Tōshirō turned to look at her, puzzled by her pronouncement.

She frowned at him in return. "What are you staring at me for? You do! It's not a bad thing," she added. "You're reacting the same way I would about Yuzu-chan or Ichi-nii."

She paused for a moment, and stared at her hands. "I know that I am worried constantly of Ichi-nii. Especially since he disappeared this last time. I just had… a bad feeling about it. He's always getting in trouble! And Yuzu… Tessai said something about… me having to go to Soul Society. I can't leave her behind, at least not yet. I feel awful sneaking around to training… She thinks I'm at soccer practice, but she's going to ask questions soon…

"So no, I'm not in the same tight fix you are about Hinamori, but I understand why you feel the need to be there for her." Ever-so-gently, Karin placed her hand over his, and turned to look him in the eyes. "I'm not standing in the way of you being there for Hinamori. She's family, she's been there for years. Why would caring for family upset me? Family has a far more prior claim on you than I do. But don't let her consume you. You're only one person, and her problems sound too personal for anyone but herself to truly fix."

"Right," Tōshirō said, unable to believe how _calm_ Karin had been about it. "Ok."

"Enough sappy stuff!" She cried, and grabbing his hand as she jumped off the web, yanked him off the thing causing him to stumble. "Yoruichi-san should be back soon! Tessai said we might check out me as a Shinigami."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just like that…?"

"Yeah," she said. Her normally gray eyes, he realized, took on an almost dusky blue hue when she was happy. "Apparently Urahara, Yoruichi-san and Tessai-san talked about it yesterday, and they're pretty confident I don't need to do anything weird, the way Ichi-nii did."

She ran over to Tessai, dragging him along in the process. "Tessai-san," she asked, "can Hitsugaya-Taichō stay around and watch?"

_Hitsugaya-taichō._ So she was still upset with him. _I deserve that, _the boy thought.

He didn't correct her, not yet. He decided to let her have her anger a little longer. Besides, he wasn't quite sure he'd ever corrected someone for using his proper title before.

**[C]**

"[**K**]isuke's busy with Renji and Sado-kun," Yoruichi was explaining as she returned. She rummaged around the pack she brought, and retrieved a single glove. Tōshirō recognized the symbol on the palm, designed to pull souls out of their bodies.

"Eh?" The woman said in mock surprise, deliberately waiting before acknowledging the captain. "Shirō-chan is here after all?"

Tōshirō nearly snapped at the woman, seeing how he _hated_ the nickname. But the laugh that bubbled from Karin's lips had him pausing.

"Yoruichi-san," the girl interrupted. "I asked Hitsugaya-taichō to stay."

Golden eyes caught his own. "Hitsugaya-taichō, eh?" Yoruichi was snickering softly, and it took all of Tōshirō's self control to not do _something_.

"It's the proper title," Karin said quietly, before changing the topic. "Yoruichi-san, please? I've waited all day for this! And my zanpakutō keeps whispering about how much training I need to come up to Hitsugaya-taichō's level."

That had everyone staring at the girl. "Your zanpakutō's worried about you matching Hitsugaya-kun?" Yoruichi asked, astonishment clear on her face."

Tōshirō didn't know how to respond to that, either.

"She's being mysterious," Karin said with a shrug. "And probably ambitious. Cause aren't all of you guys like, elite? But she said it is necessary I work hard because… never mind the reasons why," and here Karin fought off her blush. "I think she enjoys feeding me little hints. She likes making me think."

"And she's not told you her name, yet."

Karin shook her head. "She says I don't need it, yet. Something about it… not being a point in attaining shikai if I couldn't use her attacks properly."

Yoruichi nodded. "Well, here we go."

Tōshirō watched with bated breath as the Shihōin royal reached forward, and put her hand through Karin's chest. A moment later, the girl's body fell backwards and to the floor.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared. Karin stood there, dressed in the Shinigami uniform, a sheathed katana grasped between both her hands.

"Wow." She was the first to break the silence, as she first stared down at her body, then carefully brought the sword up for a closer look. The handle was wrapped in a deep purple ito, complemented by a glossy, black sword guard. From where he stood, Tōshirō could make out silver highlights over the guard, but nothing clearer. The scabbard was a dark, glossy indigo. The colors reminded Tōshirō of the subtle shimmer of Karin's reiatsu.

"Go ahead," Yoruichi urged the girl.

With a little difficulty, Karin drew the sword, revealing a sharp silver blade. She awkwardly adjusted her grip as she held the blade as far away from her as possible. "I'm scared I'll accidentally hurt myself," she confessed.

Tōshirō stepped back with Tessai, and allowed Yoruichi to fuss over Karin. He could hear snatches of the conversation, like "It's too long to wear on your side" and "But then I'll look exactly like _him_!" and Yoruichi's amused laughter.

"I'm going to get something for Karin," Yoruichi announced a little later. "Hitsugaya-kun, run her through the basics so she doesn't hurt herself?" And the woman was gone before anyone could respond.

Approaching Karin, who was torn between staring at her zanpakutō quizzically and off into the distance in dismay, he asked, "Where did she go?"

Karin shot him a mildly irritated look. "To get me a sash, or something. Apparently I have the same problem you do. My katana's too long for me to wear at my waist, the _proper way_. I've got to wear it just like you." The girl scowled. "Yoruichi-san thinks it'd be _so cute_ that we'll match."

On one hand, Tōshirō was glad he wasn't the only person with the problem of height anymore. On the other hand, he hoped that Matsumoto would _never_ see Karin and him side by side in Shinigami form. He would _never_ hear the end of it.

"Avoid Matsumoto, and no one besides those you allow to see you in this form will know that we have to match," he informed her.

Karin grimaced, but nodded in assent. "Way to make me feel short," she muttered.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "How do you think _I_ feel?"

Karin grinned at him. "Sorry about that, making fun of you for being a kid and all. I can only imagine how it must feel, to be a captain, and have everyone else towering over you…"

The way she was only mentioning his rank, emphasizing the distance between them, didn't make him feel any better.

"Come on," he said gruffly. "Is this the first time you've dealt with a katana?" When she nodded her head, he continued. "Well, let's go over the parts first. The saya is what you sheath your katana into. The guard is called a tsuba, the handle, a tsuka…"

**[C]**

[**I**]t was weird, when she finally entered her body again.

"Is this how it always is?" She asked Tōshirō, while they walked back towards her house. "It's like slowly sinking into a really dense liquid…"

Next to her, the boy just shrugged. "I don't know," he said honestly. "The gigai we use aren't the same as an actual body. It always feels like a bit of a squeeze, for me."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Well, today was fun," she said lightly, trying to keep conversation going. "I can't wait to go home and check out the kidō manuals Tessai-san loaned me. And learning how to use a katana was… a little interesting. But maybe with practice…"

"You're not doing bad," the Shinigami captain reassured her. "A typical trainee spends about six years in the academy. But you're lucky. You're already far ahead in kidō, and Tessai-san is the best there is. Shihōin Yoruichi is legendary for being a master at hohō and hakuda, and at the very least, you have your father, who is a master at zanjutsu. Considering your brother's progression, I'm sure you'll take far less than six years to come up to par."

"You say it, as though it's possible to graduate in under six years." Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. "How did you do in school, then? I mean, you're a captain. That means you must have been amazing at school, right?"

"You're just being nosey." He said evasively.

His response only made Karin smile wider. "Oh come on!" She wheedled. "I want to know what it takes to become an elite Shinigami Taichō! My zanpakutō is insisting I work my ass off, because it's only right that I be able to watch your back."

The withering look he shot at her had no effect. With a sigh, he muttered his answer.

The girl poked him. "Oh come on! Don't whisper!"

He took a breath, then in a louder voice: "I graduated in a year, happy?"

Her eyes widened. "Wow," she said. "You must be crazy talented."

He appeared uncomfortable at the compliment, which only made her laugh. "Honestly, you're so concerned about your rank, but you're embarrassed that you earned it?"

He shrugged, and sensing he didn't want to talk about it, Karin changed the subject. "Are you coming for dinner?"

A flicker of concern crossed his face again. "No," he said slowly. "I… need to talk to some of my subordinates."

She nodded, and pushed aside the momentary disappointment. "I understand. You have obligations." She paused before asking hesitantly, "Would you stop by after dinner, at least? If you're not too busy…"

"Tch, what's the point of being Taichō if I'm doing all the work?" He asked. He had been a jerk earlier, much as he was loathe to admit it. And he could see in Karin's eyes, hear it in her voice, that she did sorta want him around. And in all truth, despite the drama from earlier today, Hitsugaya Tōshirō found that he was more relaxed around the girl, and an hour "hanging out" with her probably would be good for his sanity, anyway. "I'll have time by then, as long as we don't get a crazy hollow influx."

Karin nodded happily. "Awesome," she said. She stopped walking, and grabbed his elbow. "Hey, I know… all this between us… is more than a little weird, and it's happening faster than… well, we never expected it to begin with. But could you promise me something, at least?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes a dark, almost green color that Karin somehow knew meant he was taking her seriously.

"Don't hide anything from me, please? I hate being lied to, and since I can _feel_ it when something is wrong…"

"On one condition, Karin," he said, slowly. Did he really want to do this? This wasn't just a guilty impulse, was it? He rolled the thought about in his head for a moment, before he said, "call me Tōshirō, please. Or at least," he added as an afterthought, "When we're alone. It took _so _much effort to have people to take me seri-… to address me properly…"

"Because of how you look?" Karin asked gently.

He gave an almost imperceptible nod, his eyes not quite meeting hers.

"No problem, Tōshirō." She said. She paused, looked at him thoughtfully. "Besides, I'm kind of glad you look as young as you do. Imagine how weird it'd be if you looked as old as otou-san…"

_That_ thought clearly had not occurred to him. He cringed visibly.

Karin smiled. "If people are stupid enough to not notice your skill and talent under your appearance… it's their loss. Like those stupid middle-schoolers! They thought they could bully us, 'cause we were younger. I bet they wouldn't have raised the stakes so high, if they had thought for even a moment they'd have lost."

He was _definitely_ smirking, when he pointed out, "But you nearly did lose, if not for me."

Karin scowled. "We would have been _fine_ if only that one jerk hadn't deliberately injured me. Way to play fair, injuring the best player."

His only response was an ill-concealed snicker.

"I _am _the best player among them!" She insisted. "I mean, you were amazing and all, but I was _injured_." When he continued to look at her, eyebrows raised, his normally turquoise eyes more of a clear blue and sparkling in amusement and possibly challenge, she waved her hands about. "It's true! _You_ were the one who pointed out that _I_ scored the winning goal!" That he had _let_ her score that last goal hadn't escaped her, but _damn it_, let her get _some _credit!

He was smiling now, a small, faint, barely perceptable smile, but a smile nonetheless. They were on familiar ground now, friendly, teasing. None of the strain from earlier, at least, not yet. It would be good to forget about that right now, to not (what a strange concept) think too much about the serious. "Yeah, you did. You played amazingly well." He said it as honestly, and sincerely as he knew how. It wasn't much, but it brought a smile to Karin's face, too.

"Bet if I'd lived as long as you have, I'd be a ton better than you!" She insisted.

His tone was nonchalant. "But that was my first time playing."

Karin froze. She stared at him.

"Are… you serious?" She finally managed to sputter out. "You can't be! You knew how to dribble and everything! You knew the rules!"

He shrugged. "I may have watched a game or two."

"Augh! How is that fair? Amazingly smart, _and_ naturally gifted in soccer?"

He smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes. "I swear I'm going to get good enough, that I'll beat you at soccer. Never mind that I need to train to do it!"

"Whatever makes you happy," he said.

Karin crossed her arms across her chest and sulked, as they started to walk back to the house again. "Beating you at soccer, _that _would make me happy!"

"Wouldn't you rather have me on your team, than have to play against me?"

"Only after I establish I'm better."

"How about if I purposely lose, so you'll feel better?" He offered generously.

She gave him a friendly shove. "Oh, shut up."

**[C]**

* * *

_I lied. The ending of the anime episode 133 isn't going to appear in Catalyst until chapter 13. I obviously don't know myself well enough, because I keep assuming I've written less than I really have. Sorry. On the bright side, if enough people review I might be compelled to update chapter 12 early. I'm greedy. I know, but 200 isn't that far from 150… I'm kidding. I should be updating twice next week. Probably Sunday and Thursday, schedule permitting. Look out for that.  
_

_I love you all :) And yes! If I've grammar errors, typos, spelling errors, any sort of error regarding the English language or semantics in the plotline… just let me know straight out. I'm a big girl. I can use the smack on the head when I messed up._


	12. Chapter 12

_I'm in complete shock. Thank you so much for the reviews. Maybe begging for them really does work. But nonetheless, thank you! Especially to the anons, because I cannot directly reply to you; You have my heartfelt love and gratitude._

_I don't own Bleach. Neither can I come up with something vaguely witty at 2am in the morning, at least not without spoiling this story…_

_

* * *

_**[C]**_  
_

[**S**]ilver, indigo and violet sparkled across the obsidian sky. A gentle breeze stirred the clouds; They twisted and shifted, curling up Karin's body, dancing across her finger tips as she dragged her hand over the cloud she was sitting on. Unlike her previous soirees into her inner world, this time Karin was dressed in Shinigami black, and the layers of cloth that made up the traditional costume helped to ward off the cold night air.

If Karin had to guess, thirty or so minutes had already passed since she slipped into her inner world. Despite all of Yoruichi's coaching of proper meditation technique, Karin only had to focus _inside_, on that place she intuitively had come to associate as the place her reiatsu resided, and ask her zanpakutō for entrance. In the time that passed however, Karin had not spoken a word to her zanpakutō. Undoubtedly, her spirit knew the girl wanted some time to think, to simply soak up the peace and quiet within her inner landscape. _It is nice_, Karin thought, _to have a sounding board that understands me so well._

Apparently that thought amused her zanpakutō, because her rich laughter echoed through the endless night.

"Oh Karin-chan," the woman said, "You must be the only person who thinks that."

Karin blinked in surprise.

"Most people wouldn't enjoy having their faults pointed out to them," the woman continued. "And really, who would know your greatest flaws, than your soul?"

"But why be upset about the truth?" Karin wondered out loud.

"Because no one is completely honest with themselves. For example, you'd be loathe to admit that you chew on your fingers when agonizing over a stressful test. You'd like to think that your habit of eating French fries with pepper and ice cream is normal. You resent how sweet Yuzu can be, because in your mind it shows how little of your mother you have in you. You are prideful, which causes you to act rashly. You lash out violently when upset, to cover your perceived weaknesses, and you've a terrible temper."

"It's not my fault on the violence!" The girl immediately protested. "I get it from my father."

The zanpakutō was smiling at her, Karin knew it. She could hear it in the woman's voice as she said, "Regardless of fault, you _are_ violent, sometimes excessively so. And the trouble you get into, for being involved in fights, could easily be avoided if you faced that about yourself and tried to correct it instead of pretending it isn't a problem."

"Fine." Karin finally said, albeit huffily. "I can see how people don't like hearing some of the stuff their zanpakutō's say." She stared thoughtfully into the darkness. "But it also helps, hearing it out loud. I mean… who else can I trust to give me the truth on myself?"

"No one. But remember that you may not be ready for the truth."

"No," Karin acquiesced quietly. "But you'll know when I'm ready for it?"

The woman shook her head. "I know when you _need_ to hear it. That may not always coincide with your own personal readiness."

"Zanpakutō-sama," Karin started, changing the subject. "What should I focus on, in my training?"

The silence dragged on for so long that Karin found herself wondering if she had spoken out of place.

Finally, the melodious voice questioned, "Karin-chan, what do _you_ want to achieve, as a Shinigami."

That gave Karin reason to pause. "I want… to protect," she finally decided.

"Protect?" The woman probed. "How? By dying for them? Fighting for them? Killing for them? Healing them?"

Karin bit her lip. "I… I don't know. Obviously I'd heal someone if I could. If I knew how, why would I hold back from helping? And… I would fight, for someone like Yuzu, only because she is incapable of defending herself. If it meant I died… _so be it," _Karin said, her voice harsh. "But I'll fight, if it keeps the people I love safe. I'll kill… If it was all that was left that I could do. I'll try, at least."

But Karin's zanpakutō was insistent in her questioning. "You say it as though fighting was a last resort. Why? You've gotten into fights before. You've gotten into plenty."

"It's different!" Karin protested.

"How?" The part of her soul wanted to know.

How indeed? Karin knew her sword was spurring her on to come to some conclusion, but it eluded her. She desperately tried to think back to the times she had fought in her own small capacity – when she aided her brother's friend Sado, the childish excursions with Don Kan'onji – and the times she was helpless at the graveyard with Yuzu, when haunted by the parakeet whose tortured memories had plagued her…

"Because fighting… fighting to _kill is awful_," she said. "And I don't think I have the stomach to ruthlessly cut people down."

She felt so weak, saying those words. After all, she was Kurosaki Karin, perceived protector of her little soccer group, the pillar of strength and support for sweet, innocent Yuzu. She could face off a hoard of school bullies, the pathetic middle school punks that lurked around the playground harassing small kids. But when it came to the real danger, the stuff that actually mattered… Why was she suddenly unsure of herself? Shouldn't her resolve be that much greater, to succeed, to win the fight, when the ante was upped?

"Killing is awful business," her zanpakutō reassured her. "There is no shame in feeling that way."

"But wouldn't that make me a coward?" She wanted to know. "Ichi-nii is out there, training to fight. Tōshirō is a skilled fighter. Otou-san is a great swordsman. Yoruichi-san, Tessai-san… even Rangiku-san! They're all Shinigami. And I rather stay in the sidelines and hide?"

A gentle hand caressed Karin's cheek. "Silly girl. Listen to yourself," the woman chided. "When did you say anything about hiding?" The shadowed face seemed to peer at Karin; for a moment, the girl thought she caught sight of gray eyes.

"You said it yourself, you will fight when necessary, fight to defend. Do not doubt your resolve. You're a strong girl, Karin-chan. I think you'll surprise yourself, in the end."

"And until then?" Karin wanted to know. "What of my training, what is the point?"

The woman's voice was melodious and soothing. "I'll guide you. To shelter, to protect, to heal. To fight, and kill, if necessary. But you'll find that my – and thus your – attacks require planning. Everything will be deliberate. You won't take a life unintentionally. As long as you are focused, as long as you are _clear about who you are, and why you fight, _you'll find the resolve to do what is necessary. You may never like it, but you don't have to. There's no shame in that."

For the longest time, Karin simply sat there, mulling over the woman's words.

"I… have a long way to go, don't I?"

"No one ever gets to the finish, Karin-chan. But how close, and how fast you take, depends entirely on you."

"And you'll help me?"

"Silly girl," the woman chided. "As long as you truly desire my help, I'll be here."

"Then… it's possible then," Karin said out loud, wonderingly. "That I can train to become someone significant. Someone useful." She looked at her zanpakutō, eyes large, imploring. "And I'll be strong enough to do what is right?"

"Haven't I said that all along? You're _you_, Kurosaki Karin. Would you truly rest before you've reached the point where you're sure of your capabilities? The Karin I know you to be is relentless, passionate, determined, focused. And I don't doubt that when it comes to protecting, be it your family, or even Hitsugaya Tōshirō, that you'd allow yourself any slack. As you understand the dangers that you'll have to face, realize the level of skill required to help, and not be a hassle, you'll throw yourself into it. Have faith, Karin-chan. It may all be new, frightening even. But you will preserve. It is in you. Trust yourself. Know yourself. Remember?"

Karin nodded. Reflecting on her zanpakutō's words, she concluded, "I will come to trust myself, because I'm learning who I am. I won't enter battle without a clear understanding of who I am, and what I want, because indecision, hesitation can kill me. And… because I will not be able to live with myself, if I second guess every judgment I make."

She lifted her chin up, and looked at her zanpakutō face on. "Guide me, zanpakutō-sama."

Karin felt, rather than saw the woman's smile. "Don't worry about death, and dying, until you understand what it is you'll even be facing. You're not one to arbitrarily decide someone's fate without understanding the circumstances."

"The circumstances…?" Karin questioned.

"Ask him," her soul whispered. "He knows what you will face. I merely know what you are capable of."

**[C]**

"[**O**]h dear god," Karin yelped when she came back into her body to find Tōshirō sitting right next to her. She jerked back, startled, and suddenly found herself slipping off the side of the roof.

"Damn it," she cursed, even as Tōshirō's hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"Careful," he said, as he unceremoniously pulled her back up.

Karin glared at him. "It was your fault I fell in the first place! Sneaking up on me like that, didn't anyone ever tell you it is rude?"

"But I didn't sneak up," he pointed out stiffly. "I even called your name before I came out to the roof. Quit pushing the blame on me, if you were the one in a trance."

"Hah!" Karin cried, triumphant. "But you knew I wasn't _there _there. So it _was_ like sneaking up on me."

He narrowed his blue-green eyes at her. "Tch."

They were both quiet for a moment, as they settled back down on the rooftop. Upon seeing Tōshirō's apprehensive gaze, Karin had to bite back laughter. "Don't worry," she said to him. "I won't fall again, as long as you stop surprising me."

He responded by rolling his eyes and looking away. "Whatever. As long as I'm not blamed for your death."

"You just don't want to be stuck with me in soul society on a daily basis." Karin accused, but the smile on her face detracted for her attempt at seriousness. "I already asked Yoruichi-san. She said that were I to die in my current body, chances are good that I'll simply emerge as a Shinigami, only without a body to return to. Weird, huh? To know that even if I _die, _I'll still not really be _dead._"

As the words left her mouth, Karin realized precisely who she was talking to. A boy. A _dead_ boy, to be exact. Goodness knew how he had died, before he went to soul society and became a Shinigami. Karin felt about as tactful as a hoard of stampeding elephants. Or her father.

"Oh! That reminds me," she said, changing the subject before he could respond. "I had something to ask you."

His response wasn't so much of a response, as it was a noncommittal grunt and a slightly raised eyebrow.

In truth, she had nothing to ask. But in trying to change the subject she found herself in an awkward situation. And then the conversation with her zanpakutō came back to her.

"Tell me about the people you fight, as Shinigami. Do you ever have… to kill?"

He appeared puzzled, if not a little wary. "We cleanse hollows, with our zanpakutō…" he started, giving her a weird look. "They don't die, not really. They're tainted souls, and we allow them to pass on. Or if the hollow did something absolutely _terrible_ when it was still a human… it gets sent to hell."

"_Hell?" _Karin cried. "You mean it _exists?"_

Tōshirō raised an eyebrow. "That surprises you?"

She frowned. "Well. Kinda. I always thought… wait. Where are hollows from then?"

"Hueco Mundo," was his reply.

_Weird sounding name,_ Karin thought.

"So, there is… here," she said, pointing around her. "And soul society. And hell. And Hueco Mundo. And hollows aren't from hell then? They aren't demons?"

"You don't want to meet a demon," was his dark reply. Karin decided not to push.

"We're doing a good thing then, right? Purifying hollows? So we never actually _kill_ people?"

He didn't immediately answer, and Karin could feel her stomach sinking, a familiar sense of dread filling her.

"We kill, don't we? Take lives… with the intention of ending them permanently?" Her voice was barely a whisper. "Does it happen… often?"

His eyes were set straight ahead, staring off in to the sky. "Remember… when I told you about Hinamori?" He asked. "She was in love with her captain, a twisted, heartless bastard called Aizen Sōsuke…"

**[C]**

[_**H**_]_e had a really lovely voice_, Karin decided, _if you managed to get past his manner of spe_e_ch_. Hearing how his voice deepened, coming out gruffly, brusquely at times, might have been considered off-putting, or rude. But to Karin, she found herself being drawn in. Under the harsh tone, the abrupt, almost awkward sentences, it was obvious to her that the topic of Arrancar, of this Aizen and his team of Shinigami traitors, cut Tōshirō on a far deeper level. The matter-of-fact, brisk tone stemmed not from any intentional slight on his part, but from the fact that he didn't know how to better hide his emotions, so he opted for apathy that came across more as ill-concealed irritation. It was that deeper level of emotion that drew her in to him.

As he concluded the unpleasant little trip down memory lane with a brief summary of what was speculated to come, a heavy silence fell over the both of them. Karin wasn't sure how to react. On one hand, she felt almost… _relieved_, to find out that the people they were facing, people she might potentially have to fight, have to kill… probably deserved to die. She still felt she had no right, deciding the fate of someone's life, to play god. While she understood the necessity; it terrified her still, killing. The thought that she might have to take a life loomed over her like a dark and dreadful shadow.

And Tōshirō…

Karin snuck a look at him. His eyes were dark, a deep emerald, haunted. She thought about the pain that was in his voice under all the false bravado. She found herself thinking, _He's trying too hard to be strong._ But she didn't know how to help ease that burden. She didn't think he was ready to give it up. Considering how badly he had been shaken earlier today, at the mere thought of possibly failing his sister…

It reminded Karin of how she acted at times, around Yuzu. It made her wonder, if perhaps she babied Yuzu a little too much, with how set she was in her protective sister role.

But mostly, she wondered about Hinamori.

For everything Tōshirō told her, there were two things left unsaid. It had to be a horrible burden, keeping everything bottled up inside him. Goodness knows how Karin struggled, all those years following Okaa-san's death. But that was seven years, now. The pain was starting to ease… and despite how Karin tried to remain stoic and strong, she at least had Ichi-nii, and Yuzu-chan, and Otou-san, for better or worse.

_Who did Tōshirō have now?_ She wondered.

_The answer I should have come up with_, she thought, _was "no one"._ _So why do I feel so compelled to have that answer be, "Me"?_

On impulse, she grabbed his hand.

His eyes flew open, and he turned to look at her. For a moment, his face was completely vulnerable, the usual scowl marring his features softening, leaving behind simply a scared boy with beautiful green eyes.

The sight stole her breath away.

Thankfully, he was equally speechless, managing only a surprised, "Hm?"

But the small sound was enough to snap her out of her reverie, and Karin flushed.

"Arigato, Tōshirō," she said quietly. She felt compelled to say it, and thus Karin forced the words out of her mouth, even as she felt her face burning up. She could only hope he couldn't see the flush in the dim twilight. "For sharing everything. For trusting me enough to… share a little bit about yourself. For being so _strong_."

It was fascinating, watching the diverse range of emotions that flickered through his eyes. But he didn't say a word.

Instead, he laced his fingers through her hand, and gave her a soft squeeze.

"Come on," he muttered. "I think dinner's about ready. And Matsumoto's close by."

He stood, and still holding her hand, helped her up. It was only when he climbed back down through the window that he let her go.

It took Karin a moment longer, first she had to wipe the smile off her face, before she could slip off the roof and follow after the Shinigami Taichō.

**[C]**

[**D**]inner had been awkward, in part because Matsumoto was unnaturally subdued. Tōshirō knew it was because of him – he rarely lost his temper in such a manner with the woman – and was admittedly ashamed of himself. But he was Taichō, damnit, and he couldn't afford to grovel to her.

She received a brief, "Arigato, for finishing the paperwork. I had a headache," instead.

He knew she understood. The recognition of his roundabout apology was written across her face, but so was the hurt.

_How_ was it fair? He wanted to know. _She barely does any work as it is, and me putting my foot down makes me the bad guy? _Still, he couldn't help but feel guilty at hurting her feelings. It frustrated him that he would end up apologizing further, probably getting her some kind of trinket, or if she persisted in her absolutely melancholy behavior, a bottle of sake that he'd stash away in one of her usual hiding spots for her to find.

_I'm such a pushover_, he thought. _It would be so much better if I could detach from everything, and not care. It would make life so much simpler._

Karin was already sleeping, exhausted from her day long training. Matsumoto had begged off early, leaving the Kurosaki house soon after dinner was over. Not wanting to face his fukutaichō quite yet, Tōshirō opted for the rooftop again.

_Perhaps I could sleep here tonight,_ He thought. _It's nice enough, under the stars._

"Hitsugaya-kun?"

Tōshirō turned to find Kurosaki Isshin making his way across the roof towards him.

"Kurosaki-Taichō," Tōshirō replied.

"Don't worry about Rangiku," the man said conversationally. "She's upset, but it's not entirely about you."

Tōshirō nodded, curious as to what the man meant, but couldn't bring himself to break his indifferent mask. "I see," he said.

Perhaps Isshin was intuitive, perhaps he just liked talking, because he continued: "She noticed something's changed in you; That she can't pinpoint it, is driving her nuts. And she's upset because she's feeling guilty, and she's not accustomed to feeling guilty."

_Guilty about?_ Tōshirō could only assume it was over paperwork. Or rather, he _hoped_ it was over paperwork…

Isshin patted Tōshirō on the shoulder. "Her little taichō's growing up, and she doesn't know what to do."

Tōshirō raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at his ex-captain. "Do? There's nothing to do. I'm her ranking officer."

"I think she's finally catching on to how much you've grown, since you became captain. Remember, Hitsugaya-kun, she had been there from the very beginning. You're her captain, but you're also like her little brother. She found you, in Rukongai. In a way, she'll always feel responsible."

"Tch," was all Tōshirō muttered.

"All of us react in different ways, Hitsugaya-kun. She loves, because that's how she is. And she'll worry too, as a result."

"What do you want me to do?" The boy asked. "Tell her about Karin?"

Kurosaki Isshin shook his head. "You don't have to do anything. Just do precisely what you usually do. She was surprised, is all. And a little ashamed. In this trip to the real world, she'd forgotten how much it meant for you to be Taichō. She's aware of your concern over Hinamori-chan" – to which Tōshirō had the fleeting thought, _Did Yoruichi tell everyone? – _"And is ashamed that she added to your burden. Matsumoto's feeling guilty for forgetting her own duty, that she needed you to remind her, especially when she considers herself astute enough to read your emotions and look out for you. If anything, use it while you can; I doubt she'll always be this willing to stay on top of her work."

Tōshirō frowned, and nodded in an almost absent minded way.

"So, how is Karin-chan doing?" The man asked after a pause. There was barely constrained curiosity in his voice.

"She's picking up kidō quickly. Tessai gave her a couple of kidō manuals…" The words _be careful_ hung in the air.

"Kidō, eh? Nothing at all like her brother."

"Thank god," Tōshirō muttered.

Isshin chuckled. "Watch out for her, could you?"

The boy sighed. "Aren't I already?"

He received a pat on the shoulder in response. "Not her person. I know my Karin-chan can take care of herself. I mean her heart."

"Taichō!" Tōshirō protested. "She and I… we don't even…"

"Ah, ah, ah… Hitsugaya-kun. Heart and soul are tied. Need I remind you? You guard one, to guard the other."

Tōshirō gritted his teeth. "Hai, Taichō."

"Don't sound so reluctant, Hitsugaya-kun. Not all things related to the heart are love, and not all types of love are the same."

"Goodnight, Kurosaki-Taichō."

"Goodnight, Hitsugaya-kun."

**[C]**

* * *

_A/N: I never intended for Karin and T__ōshirō's relationship to become "lopsided", with Karin doing more of the "work". I personally think Karin's a little more in touch with her emotions, and as such seems to be more invested and supportive initially. But as things progress, and now that Tōshirō's hopefully learned that emotions aren't always something he wants to ignore and push aside, we should see a bit more investment on both their parts (although I think Tōshirō will always a bit more reserved, that's just how he is, isn't he?) Karin will need him soon enough and this chapter begins to allude to that._

_Till Thursday! And I promise I'll finally have gotten to episode 133 by then. I can't decide if over 50k words to get through a single week of action is a good thing, or bad thing. You tell me._

_Love~_


	13. Chapter 13

_THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the reviews and love. I'll reply to you, I swear. After I post this, I'm going to sit down and send replies out. I haven't had the opportunity to reply to very many of you because I had to study. But the good news is I'm down to 1 final exam, which is Monday, so we're back on schedule for a Tuesday update next week!_

_I said this would be out Thurs, and it's already Friday for many people… So I'm sorry :( But it's still Thursday for me, and that should count for something, right? (I had a nightmare, last night actually. Where I found PMs of people yelling at me, because I had yet to update and it was already Thursday... I can't tell if that means I need a break from writing this story, or if I need a break from all the studying I've been logging this week).  
_

_I don't own Bleach. If I did, I wouldn't still be slaving away in college... And I'd have demanded a lot more Tōshirō in this episode. And every episode, really. He needs more screen time that doesn't involve beating something up._

_This chapter starts off on Saturday, two days after the end of chapter 12. We're cutting in around the 2nd half of Episode 133, wherein Madarame Ikkaku attempts to train a high school Kendo team._

* * *

**[C]**

[**I**]f not for the fact that he was very much in control of his emotions, Madarame Ikkaku would be a dead man. If not for the fact that Matsumoto Rangiku had finally smiled – at Tōshirō's expense, but nonetheless her lips were upturned – Madarame Ikkaku would have at least required serious medical care.

But because he had self control, and because the sight of Matsumoto's smile meant something to him, Hitsugaya Tōshirō decided to let the situation slide, just once.

In the two days following his blow up at the Shinigami officers stationed with him in the real world, Tōshirō had tried his hardest to leave the officers alone. All of them were big children (Older than him, but he was Taichō, damnit!, and certainly _acted_ a hell of a lot older than the lot of them combined) and ought to know by now how to behave without him reminding them. And if they decided to goof off… he was willing to let things slide, as long as things got done… eventually. At least, he would give them the weekend. That was generous of him, right?

But _this_. This was pushing it.

He wondered precisely how much of an idiot Madarame really was, as the irate boy struggled to regain control of his temper with Madarame kneeling before him. Yes, it was true that Tōshirō had permitted the man to finish up whatever _obligation_ he was tied up with. But the young taichō had made it explicitly clear that he still did not approve of the interactions. After all, Tōshirō had _not_ overstepped the boundaries the first time, when he spelt out duty to his various subordinates. In fact, it was quite arguable that he had not overstepped any boundaries at all with how he handled the situation. But Hitsugaya-taichō was not about to become an unreasonable ass simply because his rank afforded him that luxury. He could admit that he had handled the situation with a bit more bite than necessary. And so he had toned it back, by grudging admitting that he had been a little bit harsh. Just a _tiny bit_.

It by _no_ means meant that he was suddenly _friends_ with his subordinates. Tōshirō's willingness to apologize (albeit roundabout-ly) should have reflected something of the boy's reasonable nature. But from how Madarame was behaving, Tōshirō couldn't help but wonder if the 11th division member had taken the gesture as a sign of weakness, spinelessness. After all, the ridiculous amount of candy and toys that now lay at Tōshirō's feet were a clear indicator that the man believed the 10th division captain to be someone of weak morals, someone open to engaging in questionable activities in exchange for cheap, half-assed bribes. But what grated on Hitsugaya-taichō's nerves the most was how the bribes spoke volumes about Madarame's perception of him.

That he was a child.

Madarame Ikkaku clearly had a death wish that was far more pronounced than the rest of the idiots in the 11th division.

Tōshirō bit back a sigh. He had known as soon as Madarame showed up with the deplorable kendo uniform that the bald man had some kind of nefarious plan. By all accounts, Tōshirō wouldn't have even touched the uniform, let alone put it on. But it was the least he could do, sparring some kid or the other in the high school club – after all, that's all that Madarame was doing, right? Training a couple of kids – and biting back that little bit of pride to make up for how unreasonable he had been.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō would have _never_ touched the uniform if he had known it would lead to him entering a competition. In public. Before a screaming crowd of absolute morons. He never expected a high ranking Shinigami officer to take things this far. But the uniform was already in place, and Madarame was prostrated before him with toys and candy…

For a blissful second, Tōshirō considered how much damage he could inflict on the kneeling man, were he to kick the tray of plastic objects into Madarame's face.

Pity it would probably mean Matsumoto would never again speak to him. So Tōshirō reined in the impulse.

After all, Tōshirō was sure that if he _really _put his mind to it, he could easily kill Madarame Ikkaku later.

At least the uniform didn't smell as bad as some of the others. But that Madarame had the _audacity_ to lie and claim he was the _younger brother._ And try to _bribe him_ with candy and _toys._ The guy was 11th division, and certainly fought like he had a death wish. But that behavior was asking, no, _begging_ for death.

Tōshirō closed his eyes. _You are a captain_, he reminded himself. _You're supposed to set an example to the rest of your subordinates. You promised yourself to live up to your rank, when you first put on your haori._

It eased the anger, and the slight twitching of the eye. A little.

And Madarame's apology helped. But barely.

He closed his eyes and silently cursed the day he agreed to come to the real world, as Abarai arrived and promptly got into an argument. The raised voices only served to exacerbate the headache Tōshirō was experiencing.

The walk through the hallways into the tournament area was equally torturous. That idiot human boy brought new meaning to the term _idiot_, but the worst had been the blithe remarks from Ayasegawa.

And Hitsugaya Tōshirō knew how to hold a grudge. It had _not_ slipped his notice that Madarame's best friend had somehow been spared the embarrassment of competing in the competition. If only for that, the vain 5th seat deserved to pay. Each remark made about complementary colors of hair bands, contours of body vests, and the beauty (or lack thereof) of whatever-the-hell-else it was that Tōshirō was wearing simply served as a way for Tōshirō to decide precisely how much vengeance he would exact on Ayasegawa Yumichika.

It seemed an eternity for the announcer to finally come up and start the tournament. The noise in the tournament hall finally eased to a blessed silence. Tōshirō approached his opponent. He knew he didn't have to worry. There was no way some child from the human world would defeat him. Still. it wouldn't do to be lazy. With all eyes on him, the least he could do was make sure he had good form.

He took a deep breath, and centered himself.

His opponent was wide open. It only took a single strike to end the match.

People's gasps of disbelief only served to irritate him more.

Ayasegawa sidled up to him. "Nice job."

"And you said you didn't want to," Matsumoto giggled.

There was only that much he could take. That after all this ridiculousness, they could come up and… insinuate…

_AUGH_.

"Shut up, you two!"

It worked, at least temporarily. But the giggling resumed soon after. Secretly, Tōshiō had to admit it was a welcome sound.

**[C]**

[**T**]he tournament dragged on. Tōshirō couldn't help but growl as that idiot Keigo ran around in a circle crying. Honestly. The earlier they finished the tournament, the sooner he could get out of this ridiculous costume. It was bad enough that they had decorated his borrowed uniform with his name. Advertising his participation in this sad affair…

The 10th squad taichō closed his eyes and sighed. Not a second later however, his eyes flew open as he felt the hollow. The Shinigami around him stiffened.

He shot Matsumoto and Ayasegawa a cursory nod and reached into his pocket for the gikongan. Even Abarai was mobilizing, having taken care of his opponent with laughable ease.

It didn't feel like an Arrancar. Surely the Shinigami he had on hand would be enough. But Tōshirō had to make sure that the man still put his duty before human affairs.

"Madarame, don't take too long," he said.

And with that, he was off, close behind on Matsumoto and Ayasegawa's heels.

It was only a Menos Gillian, and with Abarai releasing his bankai, there really _ought_ to be no need for the rest of them. But Tōshirō was glad to see that Madarame was there, releasing his zanpakutō along with Matsumoto. The hollow was dispatched efficiently. He hoped that his team would respond to all threats that swiftly. God, he hoped.

"Even though Aizen is using the Hougyoku to create more Arrancar, we've just been fighting weaklings," Madarame observed.

He sped off almost immediately after, realizing he had a tournament fight to attend to. But at least he had come, and had dealt the finishing blow. For now, that was good enough.

Still, as the rest of them returned back to the tournament hall, Madarame's words stuck in Tōshirō's head. Since the initial encounter with the Arrancar, they had been facing nothing more than weaklings and incomplete Arrancar acting independent of Aizen. What was the man's plan? Was he restraining all the high level hollow he could control from Karakura, to maximize the number of souls that could be found in the town, when time for reaping them came.

It was a sobering thought.

They returned just in time to see their team win, the human boy exceeding all expectations when he landed the strike on his larger, more experienced opponent. The room erupted into cheers, and Tōshirō found his heart lightening, just for a moment. It meant he could escape! As soon as they were dismissed, he was shedding the infernal uniform, heading straight back to Inoue Orihime's apartment, and dumping his gigai in a bleach-filled bathtub.

Then Madarame picked a fight.

_I must not lose my temper. I'm better than that. I'm in control. I'm a taich_ō.

He stood up.

"This is ridiculous." He stated midst the chaos. "I'm leaving."

The helmet tucked under his arm, the wooden sword grasped in the other, he wove through the crowd of people who were gathering to watch Madarame face off with the entire Koutei Academy's Kendo Squad. The exit was only twenty or so feet away. _Almost there_.

The flash of purple hair had Tōshirō freezing in his steps. It took no more than the briefest extension of his reiatsu to confirm Karin's presence, as well. But when Urahara Kisuke appeared in front of him… Tōshirō _growled_.

"Hitsugaya-Taichō!" The man cried joyfully, waving at him with his fan.

"Hitsugaya-kun," Yoruichi greeted him. Her eyes were sparkling.

Karin appeared behind her. "Hitsugaya-san," she said. He knew she was fighting her smile. Her lips were twitching up in the corners.

For a moment, he was rendered speechless. It suddenly all made sense – at least the part about Madarame's attempted bribes. Tōshirō knew that Madarame could make the distinction between a hyperactive, pink-haired bundle of insanity, and a 10th division captain. The toys, the candy – that were things he would have expected from the man when dealing with Yachiru. But that Madarame had tried it with him…

Somehow, Tōshirō knew that one of the three had been responsible for convincing the 11th division member that candy worked. And his money was on the females.

He could do nothing more than sigh.

"Urahara-san, Yoruichi-san, Karin." He returned the greeting, because etiquette required it. Both females were doing little more than standing there, watching him with those barely repressed smiles. Urahara Kisuke was grinning behind that damned fan. Tōshirō the opportunity to retreat to the nearest changing room and get out of the damned outfit.

They were waiting outside for him, sans Urahara Kisuke, when he emerged in his regular clothes. The females followed him like grinning shadows as he left the uniform in the empty classroom.

Thankfully, they waited until they were safely outside of the building and in a deserted part of the parking lot before they erupted into laughter.

"Oh shut up," he said gruffly. "It was for a good cause."

Karin snickered. "I'll tell you this, because I think you might care to know… but when your hair is bundled up like that, you look _really_ young." Without warning, she leaned over and ruffled his hair. "There," she said, satisfied. "Now your hair looks a lot better. It was half plastered to your head earlier. Awful."

He scowled, hands clenching. _Madarame, I am going to make you pay for this, _he thought.

Yoruichi about fell over with laughter at the girl's observation.

"I'm going to leave without you two," he said through gritted teeth, as Karin somehow fell over Yoruichi, who was literally sprawled over the floor having hysterics. He made it half way across the open lot.

"Matte, Tōshirō!" Karin cried. She hurried up to his side. "I'm sorry," she said, "It just… took us both by surprise when we finally caught sight of you. You looked good out there," she added.

"Tch," he said. "It was just some high school kid. What were you expecting?"

She didn't answer immediately. Instead, he found her swatting his arm. "Idiot!" she said, although with no real heat. "Can't you just accept a compliment for once?"

He mumbled, but he was sure she heard him. "Thank you."

Yoruichi showed up at that moment. "Well, Karin-chan, I'm going to leave you then and check on Kisuke. He's going to have too much fun with Abarai-san otherwise."

"Hai, Yoruichi-san!" Karin answered easily. "You promised me pictures, so don't forget! I'll see you on Monday, then?"

The woman smirked. "Definitely." She disappeared from sight.

"Sooo," Karin said. "When are you going to help train me in zanjutsu?"

"Isn't Yoruichi-san helping you with that?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "She was, but you can tell she prefers using Hakuda. She doesn't even use a sword of her own, when training me, which is all sorts of weird. She said I'll eventually train with Urahara-san, but right now with Abarai-san and Sado-san using their training room, it wasn't a good idea to reveal me."

"And training with me is a good idea?"

The girl shrugged. "You're a taichō," she pointed out. "Surely you're good with your sword. You looked pretty darn spiffy, when you took care of that hollow last week."

She had a point, but still. "Isn't your zanpakutō kidō based anyway?" He questioned.

"Eh, if you don't want to, just come out and say so," she said to him. "But no. Tessai-san and Yoruichi-san both _think_ she is, but so far she's been very secretive about _what_ precisely she can do. When I spoke to her last however, she told me it was very crucial that I master zanjutsu."

"It's crucial for a Shinigami to master everything. Or at least try," Tōshirō pointed out.

"Precisely what she said!" Karin cried. "But she said that the three on the top of my list for now, was zanjutsu, kidō, and hohō, in that order. Hakuda could wait. I know Yoruichi-san's disappointed about that. I guess she enjoyed the sparring match we had. Goodness knows why, though. She was kicking my ass."

"Shihōin Yoruichi would kick anyone's ass with hakuda."

"Even you?"

Tōshirō arched an eyebrow, and looked at her. He remained silent.

She stuck her tongue out at him in reply.

"How's training going?" He found himself asking several minutes later.

Karin shrugged. "It's going ok. Tessai-san's really happy with how well I'm doing with kidō. And infuriated, I guess."

"Infuriated." He made it a statement.

"Yeah. Cause I keep trying to mix spells up. You know, like combine Bakudo 8 and Bakudo 26."

Bakudo 8: Sei created a shield that could paralyze and repel things upon contact. Bakudo 26: Kyokko essentially was a concealment spell. He couldn't think of how the girl would have used it together. Curiosity piqued, he asked.

"Oh, come on," she said exasperated. "Don't tell me you've never thought of it before. It's like a trap! Kyokko can hide reiatsu, and Sei is essentially a dense, reiatsu charged wall. When Bakudo 26 is covering the wall, it's essentially undetectable… until you walk right into it. Then bam!" The girl clapped her hands together for emphasis. "Instant paralysis. Or at least, enough to stun the target." She frowned. "I was hoping to try and modify Tsuriboshi to make it work like a net, and trigger upon contact with the Sei shield. But Tessai wouldn't let me. Said it was too dangerous to _modify_ spells."

Tōshirō nodded neutrally, hoping no part of his expression revealed how _flabbergasted_ he felt. The way she explained the use of those spells made absolute sense, and despite what she thought, he had never considered such a use. Maybe her novel thinking was a result of her time with Yoruichi. After all, she _was_ former commander of the Onmitsukidō. Perhaps that was why Karin was experimenting with the element of surprise.

He was all the more surprised that, although she didn't state so explicitly, it sounded like Karin's experiment had been a success. However, weaving kidō spells together took a large amount of concentration and technique, not to mention a great deal of knowledge in the fundamentals of kidō theory. Kurosaki Karin had only begun kidō training on Thursday. It was only Saturday, and she was able to do all that?

_What_ was with these damn Kurosakis and being incredibly talented?

He opted for a safe reply. "So enjoying kidō, then?"

The girl nodded happily. "Yeah. I'm absolute rubbish at the words still. But the way the reiatsu _feels_… I can remember that. And I came up with a couple of hand gestures to help me remember the spells." She flushed, ever so slightly. "They look kinda stupid and elaborate, now. But when I pair the spells with actions, I remember them better. Now I just have to get better at zanjutsu, and hohō. Yoruichi-san said she would help with hohō, teach me the basics, and give me tips. But she said that beyond showing me what the hohō techniques were, there was little she could do for me."

"She's right," he told her. "Hohō isn't so much of a standalone skill, as it is something you incorporate with other techniques. Perhaps you can train hohō while practicing soccer. Alone, obviously. I don't know if it's possible to use shunpo while in your physical body…. Or if you want to risk having your friends catch you using it. But when you've time, and are in your Shinigami form-"

She cut him off. "You could always train with me, then!" She pointed out. "Play soccer with me, when in your spirit form."

Despite himself, he felt his lips curl up. "I don't know. Wouldn't that be unfair on you? To play one-on-one?"

For the second time that day, she hit his arm. "Oh shut up! Be honored, if anything, that I found you worthy enough to train with. There's no point in me playing with someone worse than me, right? I'll never improve if that's all I did."

"Fine then," he said in his usual nonchalant way. "If I have time."

"Make time," she said. "Please?" she added in the end.

It was no more than a simple, genuine request. She wasn't pouting, or even making puppy eyes. But she didn't have to. Tōshirō found himself agreeing. "Fine. Maybe for a couple of hours tomorrow."

"Oh no, not tomorrow," she said.

Tōshirō blinked. First she wants him to spend time with her, and now she's saying no? _Women_, he thought irritably.

"Don't scowl," she told him, and instead he found himself struggling to maintain his expression. If he changed it now, then he would only have to admit that he had been frowning. Instead, he arched an eyebrow at her.

"Tomorrow's Sunday, remember?" She asked. "Family day? Lunch, movie, and I think we might actually visit the fair."

"I didn't realize I was invited," he said. And after last week, he wasn't sure he wanted to sit through another movie. But part of him was touched to know the girl had considered him 'family' enough to join in the fun. And a smaller part of him was tempted to tag along, although he wasn't quite sure _why_ he would be suicidal enough for that.

"Well," she said. "You were. And so is Rangiku-san. Besides, I get to pick the movie this time," she said happily. "And you're lucky I like you, 'cause I've decided that as our honored guest, you get to pick the movie for me."

In spite of himself, he found his lips curling upwards.

"Matsumoto isn't honored enough?" He wanted to know.

Karin shot him a dark look. "Only if you want to sit through another two hours of kissing rabbits and sugared carrots."

She had a point.

"Besides," the girl continued. "Rangiku-san enjoyed herself immensely with what Yuzu-chan picked out. I say it's our turn to find something fun."

He hadn't realized that they had been split up into "groups", but it made sense. After all, they had been the odd ones out last week during the movie and for a good portion of the day really, seeing how Isshin, Yuzu, and Matsumoto insisted on discussing the movie, scene by torturous scene, all bloody day long. This week could be their week to enjoy a movie. He had heard from people – not just from Matsumoto, who had questionable tastes in activities as well as food – that movies in the living world were amazing experiences. He wouldn't let the disappointment last week prevent him from enjoying one of the few things the living world was renowned for.

"I guess," he told Karin. "But if I'm picking, how would I know what's good?"

"The internet?" She asked, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He must have let _some_ of his confusion to show, because the girl was suddenly grabbing his shoulders and staring at him with large eyes.

"Tōshirō, you've never heard of the internet?"

"Of course I have," he said, trying to look irritated and offended by such a suggestion. But with her grabbing onto him, he couldn't quite cross his arms in front of his chest, or stare off into the distance, or do anything at all to appear distant. And really, he had heard _of_ the internet. He simply never played with it. He understood how to maneuver the systems set up in Soul Society. Wasn't that enough?

Apparently not.

"Sure sure," the girl said, clearly not believing him. "Well, when we get home, we can steal Otou-san's computer, and I get to introduce you to the joys of the internet."

The youngest captain of the Gotei 13 found himself eyeing Kurosaki Karin with something akin to fear. Life just wasn't fair.

**[C]**


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: This next scene contains a pretty common setting within HitsuKarin fanfiction. That is, the Karin-Takes-Tōshirō-To-The-Amusement-Park scene. It's... not that much of a serious chapter, but I needed a break from the soul searching, emotion heavy writing. I wish I knew which particular stories got me thinking about this scene, and give their respective authors credit, but I don't. So instead, I'll do this:_

_This chapter goes out to all the amazing writers before me, who've done an amazing job of bringing Hitsugaya Tōshirō and Kurosaki Karin together._

_Also, a huge thank you to all my reviewers. Thank you for all your support this past two months._

_Bleach doesn't belong to me. If it did, Yachiru would've formed some kind of alliance with Nel. Just sayin'. Imagine the two of them tagging after Ichigo. He'd be annoyed senseless. It'd be amazing._

_Also: The very first "section" may not make sense, because I've apparently been informed that the ridiculously annoying youtube video that -too many- of my friends have sent my way, apparently isn't all that known at all. Google "The Internet if Made of Cats". I'm so sick of it... lets not end that sentence, ok?  
_

* * *

**[C]**

[**T**]he internet, Hitsugaya Tōshirō learned, was made of cats. At least according to the informational slide show that Karin had showed him featuring several furry creatures. He understood the language in the video well enough, although the accent was strange to him.

It only furthered his belief that cats – as with all things furry and supposedly cute - were evil, evil creatures.

As to why Karin was silently shaking, her lips pressed into a thin line… Tōshirō could only assume it was because his question about the practicality of bonsai kittens had been stupid.

He scowled. When she went to sleep, he was going to do more research. He hated it when he appeared ignorant.

And because he really, really wanted to see if he could shove Shihōin Yoruichi in a jar. Ah, dreams.

**[C]**

[**T**]his time, the movie was _far_ more entertaining. With the help of Karin, they had watched several movie trailers, and even read up on a couple of movie reviews. They finally settled on an action drama set in feudal Japan. The acting was excellent, the swordplay (mostly) exciting, and special effects far too realistic. True, the flimsy plastic glasses looked more than a little odd, and certainly didn't appear to be of the caliber of the 12th division's gadgets. But he about tried to shunpo out of his seat, when the army of warriors came charging straight out of the screen and _towards him _with katanas brandished, as soon as the movie started.

Karin was the only one who noticed. But she laughed so hard that several people in the audience had to tell her to calm down.

"It's 3D, you idiot," she finally managed to whisper. "I can't believe you Shinigami are so technologically stupid."

He got his revenge later when, during a particularly amorous scene between the protagonist and his childhood love, Tōshirō lied and got Karin to open her eyes right as things were getting particularly frisky. Her eyes widened, she made an unattractive choking noise and leaned over, attempting to cover her eyes and ears with her shirt.

Personally, Tōshirō didn't blame her, because watching two people get intimate, even with clothes on, was in the very least rude. But he wasn't about to be defeated by something as embarrassing as public displays of affection. So he kept his eyes fixated on a random spot in front of him, and hoped it looked as though he was watching the scene stoically, as Karin muttered over and over about needing a shower.

They had something called pizza afterwards. It was the first time he ever had cooked pineapples, let alone cooked pineapples complemented with meat and topped over cheese, tomato sauce and bread. It was curiously good, even if the combination reminded him of Inoue Orihime's concoctions. Perhaps he would give her food another chance.

It was over pizza that Kurosaki-taichō announced that they would be heading to the fair. Karin had explained what it was yesterday, and Tōshirō had his misgivings. The part about _crowds_ and being _outdoors_ under the sun did not appeal to him. Neither was the notion that they would be going as a large group. Tōshirō wasn't sure if Karin noticed, but last week, people had eyed them as though they were a family unit, with Matsumoto as the mother, and him as one of the many children. He sincerely hoped that Matsumoto never realized this misconception. Surely, she would revel in the roll of "mommy", if only because she thought it was _cute_ to annoy him.[

But spending time with Kurosaki-taichō was fun. The man had a hilarious sense of humor, and being perceptive of those around him, always seemed to set _just_ the right mood to put everyone at ease. Plus the man was able to make Karin smile. Although she smiled more easily than he himself did, Tōshirō was aware that Kurosaki Karin didn't smile quite as often.

Even though he couldn't hear Hyōrinmaru right that moment, Tōshirō knew his zanpakutō was gloating at how the girl got under his skin.

"Coming?" Karin was peering at him from across the table. Tōshirō lifted his eyes up to look, past the girl. Isshin, Yuzu and Matsumoto were all standing by the front door, caught up in their own conversation.

"Yeah," he said. He pushed himself out of the booth, and paused to dust off any remaining crumbs. "Do we really have to go to the fair?"

She grinned in response. "Totally. Though I need your help."

"Help?" He asked, suddenly hesitant. There was something in the way she was eyeing him that made him uneasy.

"Uh huh. Help," she said. "You always carry Soul Candy with you, right?"

He nodded, slowly, apprehensive.

"Good! Then I can finally get back at that smug little bastard."

_It's not too late to escape_, he thought to himself._ It's only Karin here. I can take the back exit…_

Except he knew for a fact that the girl could use kidō as a human, and he didn't quite want to risk her trying something drastic. Or experimental. And what kind of taichō would he be, if he fled from a novice Shinigami?

"You owe me," he muttered darkly, looking at her in annoyance.

"I'll forever owe you," she said cheerfully enough, seemingly dismissing him. But as they headed towards their waiting party, she suddenly added, softly, "And really, I do appreciate it. You being here, putting up with this craziness, even though it's totally not you. I'm not asking you to change. I think I'll miss it, if you stop frowning." She laughed when he proceeded to frown harder. "You're perfect the way you are. And as such, I owe you for every time you do something nice for me, like this, even though it's not something you entirely enjoy."

"It has its moments," he said.

She was still smiling. "Good," she said. "Cause with your help, today has the potential to go down in history."

"I can trust you, right?" He asked on impulse.

Karin had her head tilted to one side, gray eyes scrutinizing him. "Depends. I think you can. Do you think you can?"

He shrugged. "Hopefully."

How often did Kurosaki Karin smile so… bright and genuinely for another human being? He didn't know the answer to that question, but he was glad that he was the recipient of those smiles.

**[C]**

"[**P**]lease, please, please?" Karin was begging, but because she had known from the start that begging would be necessary, her actions didn't quite faze her. "I don't do the puppy-dog eyes or pouty lip stuff, but just pretend I'm doing all that, and I look really pathetic, and you can't help but give in."

She would never tell him that when he had that slight frown on his face, he looked quite dignified and much older than the 11 or 12 he normally looked. After all, while he was quite a sight when he was being brooding and serious, Hitsugaya Tōshirō was absolutely breathtaking in those brief moments where he allowed himself to smile. His eyes would light up, his forehead smooth out, his entire body seemed more… relaxed. And he looked younger, a carefree, 12 year old boy marveling at something truly amazing. Karin felt selfish, because somehow she knew that those smiles were rare, and yet she'd received several in the past week since meeting the boy.

_Has it really only been a week?_ She thought to herself. She counted the days in her head. _I guess it has, s_he realized. It was really more of 12 days, from last Wednesday when he'd picked up her ball until now, but the first time they'd really interacted was the Saturday of the soccer match, a week and a day ago.

_And I've learned so much about him in that short period of time_. It boggled Karin's mind, but what could she do besides accept these things that were out of her control?

He was watching her with hooded emerald eyes. She wondered if he knew that the right corner of his lip was twitched up ever so slightly, and she knew that he was fighting the urge to smile.

_Whatever it is, that makes you feel it so necessary to detach from your emotions… _There was still so much she had to learn about the boy. She was done questioning why she felt so compelled to understand him. Hadn't the events of this week spelled it out? There was nothing more to be done than make the most out of the situation.

"Really, Tōshirō," she tried again. "Here. You try, then, if you don't believe me. That bastard's a lying, cheating piece of…" She didn't continue, not trusting herself to not burst into a tirade of profanities unbefitting a girl of her age. She thrust a wad of bills into his hand. "Go on!" She insisted. "I swear, I'm not lying. I'll even wear a dress for a day, if you can do beat this damn game without help."

He didn't say anything, but the look he was giving her clearly let her know he thought she was an idiot.

Silly boy.

He handed the money with the vendor, and received three soccer balls in exchange. She watched as he set the first one down on the designated line. His eyes were narrowed at the target at the far end, his right hand flexing ever-so-slightly. Karin experienced a sudden moment of panic, when she remembered how he was able to incorporate reiatsu into objects the way she did, except she'd never tried that particular technique before. What if he did that, and proved her wrong. Would that count as her winning, or him? After all, normal people couldn't do it, cause they didn't have reiatsu. Didn't that mean she was technically right? And that he cheated, cause he used his spiritual powers?

She was so lost in thought she barely noticed when he kicked the ball. Her head snapped up, as she belatedly registered the sound of his shoe hitting leather. With bated breath, she watched the black and white object fly towards the target – a single goal post guarded by a wooden cutout goal keeper. So far, the ball appeared to be flying straight toward the corner of the goalpost, away from the large goalie that was set in front of the net. But then, at the last minute, like _every damn time_ Karin had stepped up to this particular stall, the ball suddenly curved, and slammed straight into the goal keeper's form. With a dull thud, the ball rebounded, and rolled, half heartedly before stopping in the middle of the fake turf.

The boy paused, and stared at the goal, the store keeper, and Karin. He positioned the second ball, and kicked. The same thing happened. With the third ball, he didn't even bother putting effort into it.

Tōshirō's lips were pressed firmly together, his eyebrows furrowed, and when he turned to meet her gaze, Karin _knew_ he was going to do it.

It took all of _her_ self control not to burst out into cheers right there and then. After all, they wanted to avoid arousing the suspicions of that cheating jerk of a games vendor.

It wasn't even the ridiculously good prizes that attracted Karin to the stall, although goodness knew, there were some really nice prizes out there, including the _only _cash prize at the fair, which only furthered Karin's suspicions that the guy had rigged the stall, if he was confident enough to dangle money as reward. But Karin was simply mad at the damn game because it insulted her skills as a soccer player. She was _good_ at soccer, damn it. And the first time she went up to that stall, so convinced she could win, only to be humiliated… she could still remember the mocking laughter of the kids who were watching, and the smirk on the stall vendor's face.

"I'm paying for my friend's attempt," she heard Tōshirō say.

"Who, her? She's not going to do any better, buddy. I've seen her here several times. She always misses. Bad temper, too."

If she was her brother, Karin was pretty sure she'd have launched herself at the smug bastard and wiped the smirk on his face off with a well-aimed punch. Instead, she held her tongue, and walked up to Tōshirō's side stiffly.

He caught her eye, and pulled out the tube of Soul Candy.

She smiled faintly as he left his body.

"Just win," he said, safely hidden from view and hearing in his Shinigami outfit. "And if he still pisses you off later…"

His roundabout offer for revenge surprised and warmed Karin. She nodded.

The soccer ball was placed on the line. Eying the goal at the end of the long and narrow turf, Karin waited until Tōshirō was positioned. She had this whole damn thing planned out, ever since she heard the possibility of going to the fair two days ago. This plan would work!

She took a deep breath, and let the soccer ball fly.

At first, she thought it would have been ok getting Tōshirō to simply knock over the infernal wooden goal keeper so her ball could get in. Then, however, she realized the man would just accuse her of breaking his equipment and throw some kind of fit.

So she'd settled for this more convoluted plan. She didn't worry, however. Her partner in crime was none other than the Shinigami Taichō Hitsugaya Tōshirō, and she knew he would get the job done. He was too good to screw up.

Sure enough, in a movement Karin's eyes could barely follow, the soccer ball she kicked was whisked up by Tōshirō's waiting arms, and deposited behind the goalkeeper with the skilled use of shunpo.

"Yes!" She cried in delight, as she ball appeared to hit the net and sink down onto the floor.

She didn't expect how damn excited she would feel. She wanted to jump up and down. She nearly grabbed Tōshirō's gigai and hugged it. Nearly.

Beside her, the man growled. "The hell?"

Karin couldn't keep the smile off her face. But she refused to address the man. She didn't want to give anything away.

Tōshirō was suddenly by her side. "The balls have some kind of metal in there. The goalkeeper has a strong magnet attached to the back of it, and I can't figure a way to disable it."

Karin nodded, and shared a brief look with the boy. She sent the next two balls flying. With the Shinigami's assistance, it easily bypassed the mechanism and landed in the net again.

"Fine!" The exasperated man cried. "Pick your prize!"

Karin turned to Tōshirō's gigai, and the boy standing next to it. "So, what do you want? Or shall we do this again?"

He shrugged. "You said Yuzu wanted a couple of things here, right?"

Karin didn't bother to point out that Yuzu would adore anything fluffy and soft. Instead she nodded. "Yeah, we can get the biggest couple of toys for Yuzu, and make Otou-san carry them. But really, if anything, I want that."

She pointed her hand at the large sign, proclaiming that anyone who could score not 3, not 5, but 10 straight goals, would win ¥10000.

He raised an eyebrow. "They give money away at these places?"

"Only him," Karin said in a low voice. "Cause he knows there's no way in hell anyone could do it. I've watched people try. They miraculously get the first couple in, he pretends to cower at their talent, then when they fork the money out for the 10 goal attempt, he screws them over after the first couple of kicks. Sometimes he does it so well that they fork out more money to try again, cause they're so convinced that the 2nd time around, they can make the last two balls or so they missed."

Then Karin shrugged. "But mostly, I just wanted to win to spite that guy. He's insulted me from day one, cause according to him, girls can't play soccer. Especially little girls. Besides, he's cheated me out of my money how many times now?"

He sighed. "You're getting so worked up." he said in a mock exasperated tone. "Fine, fine. We'll try for ten. Pick your toy, he's getting irritated." Karin loved how his eyes smiled, when the rest of him wasn't. She wondered if he knew she was reading right through his act.

"Yes sir, Hitsugaya-taichō," she said with a smirk.

"Hey," she said as she turned to face the man. "I'll take that one," she said, pointing to a largest brown bear on display.

The man handed it over without much grace.

"Ok. Well, now that I'm apparently _not missing_ anymore, let's try this again." There was an over sized yellow cat that was taller than Karin. She knew Yuzu would adore it. Two ridiculous stuffed animals seemed to be reasonable items to make her father carry.

"You owe me," Tōshirō muttered.

"Always," she said cheerfully.

The man was not happy when he had to hand over the cat, too.

He was downright furious when he had to hand over the cash prize – which Karin made a point of counting, to ensure the man didn't try to scam her.

And Tōshirō… He had been a great spot, essentially couriering the soccer balls for her. She'd been surprised he'd not made further snarky comments, if only because it'd have been expected behavior from him. But with each successful goal, the man in charge of the booth had only become more rude, and when the barely concealed sneers over "cheating brat-faced elementary kids" started, Karin wasn't quite sure if _she_ or _T_ō_shir_ōwas the one who wanted to kick the guy's ass more.

Until the issue of carrying the prizes came up; Then, Karin wasn't sure if the boy would have attempted to yell at her, too. Because of _course_ it was undignified to be seen with a giant yellow cat being precariously perched over his shoulders, as the thing was far too big for him to carry in his arms and still see ahead of him. At least he couldn't fault Karin entirely. After all, the boy genius should've figured out that toys in the real world didn't carry themselves when he offered to help her win the second toy.

Between Karin, Tōshirō's gikongan-occupied gigai, and Tōshirō in his Shinigami form, they managed to lug the two toys over to Kurosaki Isshin, who was gaping open mouthed at the sight of the two gigantic stuffed toys bobbing about above the crowd. At least Rangiku wasn't present. Karin knew the woman would have teased her taichō mercilessly, and after all the boy's help, she didn't think he deserved it. As it was, she came to defend Tōshirō's pride before her father could say anything more than "Karin-chan~".

"Don't. Say. Anything." She threatened. "Just watch these damn things for Yuzu."

"But Karin-chan! How am I supposed to carry them?" The man whined.

She fixed him with a glare that was Tōshirō worthy. "Easier than me," she said. "You're taller. Ask Rangiku-san to help you carry one. Actually, no. Give the brown bear to Rangiku-san." She looked briefly at Tōshirō for confirmation. "I think she'll like it."

While her father was struggling to find a response to that, she grabbed Tōshirō – both of them, really – and dragged them off into the crowd of people.

"I know, I know," she said as he climbed back into the gigai. "I owe you for helping me with that bastard. But I _told_ you he was cheating! I _told _you!"

She was becoming good at reading his subtle body gestures, the slight incline of his head, the raised eyebrow, the one shouldered shrugs. Just as well, because the boy really disliked talking, unless absolutely necessary.

"What's wrong with you and Rangiku-san?" Karin asked.

When he didn't answer, she continued. "I think she'll like the bear, at least. She seems the type."

"I suppose," he said.

"Was this about Thursday?" She asked. "I'm sorry I upset you," she said.

She knew he'd read between the lines.

After all, Karin was well aware that Tōshirō had been the one to blame for the drama that ensued. Still, the boy struggled with apologies. He hated when he messed up. He reminded Karin of her in that sense. As such, Karin was fine with pretending the incident was her fault, to maintain the appearance that he was in control. They both knew better, but Karin did not doubt that Tōshirō appreciated the gesture.

From what she had overheard and pieced together from Yoruichi, Karin also knew that things were shaky at best between him and the other Shinigami, Matsumoto in particular. There was no other reason why he would have agreed to join the kendo competition, except to compensate for his behavior in such round about ways.

_Well… maybe not_, Karin mused. Tōshirō probably would have done it anyway, because under all his grouchiness, he cared too much about people to remain a completely heartless bastard. But he would never admit it, and Karin would never force him to.

"You've not told her about us, have you?" She asked quietly.

"You know I haven't," came his reply.

"Well…" and Karin didn't really want to say this, but somehow she felt she _ought _to. "Maybe you should. If you think she can keep the secret. She's your fukutaichō, but more importantly, I believe she views herself as your friend. If you entrusted her with information about us, perhaps it'll give her perspective. At the very least, it'll remind her of the relationship between you two."

"She's my subordinate-" he started.

"-And your friend," Karin finished for him. "I've seen the awkward moments between you two. I _know_."

When he sighed, she reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

"Come on," she said. "Don't worry about it quite yet. There's still tons to do. And snacks to eat. This one stall always carries sweets. Do you like amanattō?" From how he immediately whipped his head around to look at her, Karin was able to confirm Rangiku's claim that the boy loved the treat. "We can go get some, and check out some of the other games and rides. You've got to at least get on the pirate ship before we leave. It's a classic. And if we have time, maybe we can go back and bother that bastard games vendor more."

The promise of amanattō must have mollified him, somewhat, because he did nothing more than nod and say, "Ok," without any objections to her suggestions.

The way to a boy's heart definitely was through his stomach.

**[C]**

[**I**]t was late, the sun having set hours ago, and the blessed silence of night time had finally descended upon Karakura town. The stars were out, and made Tōshirō wonder about the nightscape Karin described as her inner world. Was it as beautiful as the night skies here in the world of the living? Somehow, he had a feeling that whatever beauty he saw now, was pale in comparison to that inside her soul.

A faint sound caught his attention, and Tōshirō stiffened. He knew she was there before she even climbed out the window.

"Taichō!" Matsumoto called out cheerfully, skipping over the tiled rooftop to sit by him. "What are you doing?"

It was _obvious_ what he was doing: sitting on the roof top watching the stars. He didn't deign to respond.

"Eh, why are you sitting out here? Shouldn't you be in there with Karin-chan?"

From the tone of voice she was using, he _knew_ she was going to start gushing. He sighed.

Against his better judgment, he had taken Kurosaki Karin's advice to heart, and told Matsumoto everything after dinner. Well, not _everything, _but an abbreviated version that stuck to the bare facts. Still, she wouldn't be Matsumoto Rangiku if she didn't manage to take his four sentence summary of the situation and spin it into a sordid affair. At least now the woman was no longer sneaking around and shooting him furtive looks.

Was he some kind of masochist, that he enjoyed her outrageous nature, and enjoyed being subjected to her ludicrous ideas?

"Matsumoto, what happens between me and Kurosaki remains private."

Perhaps he wasn't stern enough, because she proceeded with a, "But Taichō! I just _knew_ it! When I caught you stalking her-"

"I'm serious!" He said sharply. Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. "Save whatever sentimental notion you might have. Neither of us, and I _mean_ neither of us, wanted this. It is not cute, and this is _not_ something you'll discuss at the next Women's Association meeting. I _know_ you can be serious, Matsumoto. I need you to be, this time."

"Taichō…" The surprise was evident in her voice. "I can't believe you'd think I'll gossip about you!" She protested.

Tōshirō knew she was merely trying to find a bit of that teasing edge, to ease the awkwardness of the moment.

"There are rules… regarding relationships. You know them as well as I do…" his voice softened for a moment, and he snuck a side-long glance at the woman beside him. His voice was low when he muttered, "I had hoped… We would be… friends enough… It's not like we _love _each other. It's just… it's going to happen. And I had thought that you, at least, would understand the complications in… loving someone forbidden."

He could see the slight stiffening in her shoulders, the dark look in her eyes.

"Yeah," she said, her voice faraway. Tōshirō knew precisely who she was thinking of. "I do."

Matsumoto settled down on the roof top next to him.

"Do you want to love her?" She enquired.

He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath of the cold night air, and stared up at the stars.

"Who knows?"

His vice-captain was unusually quiet for a long while after, as she sat there with him, staring up at the stars.

"I won't tell," she finally said, quietly. "Kurosaki-taichō's already cautioned me… we had a long talk… about… _him. _But seeing you like this…" she paused, as though searching for the proper words. "Karin-chan's become something important in your life, now. I can understand that. She's good for you. It explains everything I've been noticing. Why you got so upset, when she was attacked… I won't tell, Hitsugaya-Taichō. You have my word. I can respect your privacy."

She got up. "Good night, Taichō."

She vanished before he could say good bye. Or ask why Kurosaki Ichigo's mod soul was bound with duct tape and tucked into the sash of her uniform.

**[C]**

_

* * *

AN: *Cringes* I'm getting worse and worse about replying to reviews, aren't I? I'm terribly sorry. I'll be getting to them tomorrow, after I get some sleep. I tried to get this chapter out on time, at least. _

_And for more bad news: There won't be an update next week. If it hasn't already become apparent, I've been terribly pressed for time since school started. Taking a week off gives me more time to compose the proper replies you guys deserve, and also gives me a chance to check out all those fanfictions you guys have been kind enough to point my way. Plus, I've got the big scene where Karin learns her Zanpakut__ō's name to write. _

_But more importantly (I think?), it's my birthday this weekend._

_So look out for the next update of Catalyst around Feb 16__th__. And Happy Valentines Day, because I won't update before then._

_Love~_


	15. Chapter 15

_Thank you to all you amazing readers who left me birthday wishes, happy valentine's day messages, and Happy Chinese New Years! I heart you all very, very much._

_This chapter is more on the fluff/light side, once again. It isn't quite what I want it to be, but I promised a chapter, so I hope this works. In my defense, writing and editing this chapter helped a lot in balancing my state of mind, because the other chapter I've been working on this past week when I didn't update, happens to be the (!) chapter we are introduced formally to Karin's zanpakutō._

_I don't own Bleach. If I did… well… Let's just say I'm not looking forward to what I bet will happen in manga chapters to come - that is, scene after oh-my-god-kill-me-now scene of a certain someone angst-ing over a certain accidental stabbing. Awful business, but not his fault. Yet I someone just know his guilt and agony and what not will dominate his character in chapters to come, and I am so not pleased with it. Blame the bad guy, move on. What else is there? Have Karin be your pillar of support. At least, that would be my take on things. Just sayin'._

* * *

**[C]**

[**T**]ōshirō was surprised to find that Matsumoto was still out when he finally returned to Inoue Orihime's apartment. She had left the Kurosakis' shortly after her trip to the roof and the boy had fully expected her to have returned home. It was far too late at night for anywhere to be open, not even the seedier bars that an alcoholic like his fukutaichō would sometimes frequent. He sighed as he half tripped over an empty plastic bag. The woman was far too unpredictable for his liking and an absolute slob. He didn't know when Inoue would be returning from Soul Society, but he was sure the girl would panic if she saw the state of her once pristine home.

_Note to self_, he thought dejectedly. _Finish cleaning the apartment._ Matsumoto had promised to pick up the other half of the place a couple days back. But it seemed to Tōshirō that the woman had only worked to accumulate more garbage to compensate for what he'd already managed to gather into trash bags.

It was then that Matsumoto returned.

"Eh?" She started as she let herself in. "Taichō is still awake?" She asked.

There was something… sketchy about her behavior. Tōshirō found himself frowning.

"Matsumoto," he said suspiciously, "What have you been up to?"

She wore that all-too-innocent look that screamed _guilty_. "Nothing!" She chirped. "You know, sightseeing, shopping, the usual~"

_Right_. Tōshirō arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms across his chest, refusing to step aside when the woman tried to skirt around him and into the bathroom. "It's 3.30 in the morning. I'd hardly expect anything to be open at this hour," he said tartly. "And where is Kurosaki's mod soul?"

She blinked and gaped at him as she tried to come up with a lame excuse. "Uh…. Oh, I… fell asleep by the river! That's it. And what do you mean, where is Kon? I don't know what Taichō is talking about."

"Matsumoto," he growled in warning.

"Aren't you tired, Taichō? I mean, it's been a really long day."

He was not about to let her try and change the subject. "I saw you had him tied up earlier," he stated bluntly.

"We're playing hide and seek!" The woman blurted out.

If it was anyone else, their expression would have twisted to that of confusion at the random and ridiculous excuse. But seeing how he had had decades to perfect stoicism, Tōshirō only proceeded to glare at the woman. "Do you really think I'm stupid?" He asked. "What are you doing with it?"

"Nothing," the woman starting to whine, but seeing the impassive look on her captain's face, sighed. "Fine. The stupid animal's been tailing me around all week. He's followed us back home like three times now! And each time I try and sit down in Kurosaki-taichō's house, I find him just _waiting_ to conveniently fall into my lap. So… uh… I may have tied him up and dumped him somewhere."

Tōshirō took a deep breath as he tried to figure out the best response. After all, he really couldn't blame Matsumoto for retaliating. He himself had noticed how the mod soul seemed to trail after the many females that he came into contact with. There was something extremely disturbing about a stuffed animal that seemed fixated on breasts. _And_ the toy spent a good portion of time in the twin's bedrooms.

If Kon had showed any interest in either Karin or Yuzu, Tōshirō wasn't sure if he wouldn't have done exactly the same thing Matsumoto did. But seeing how the mod soul was smart enough to leave the twins alone… and really, with the way Matsumoto… _displayed_ herself, she ought to be used to male lechers.

Though Kurosaki probably wouldn't be pleased to find out he no longer had his special gikongan.

"Fine," he said reluctantly. "I suppose it's appropriate to leave the toy where ever you left it overnight. But make sure you can get it back. It's not polite to mess with Kurosaki's things."

He cut off her whining with a pointed, "Good night, Matsumoto."

As he made his way to bed, Tōshirō made a mental note to remind Karin to _never_ undress in the presence of the stuffed animal. And if he found out she had already inadvertently done so… he and the stuffed animal were going to have a very long… talk.

He was doing paperwork when Matsumoto stepped out of the house to patrol the next morning, although there was no doubt in the captain's mind that she had her heart set on exploring Karakura's downtown shopping district. Although it was a Monday, pretty much all of the Shinigami had dropped out of school, seeing no real reason to continue after the debacle with the kendo club. While Tōshirō hadn't the faintest clue what Madarame was currently up to, he took secret joy in knowing that Ayasegawa was currently playing babysitter to the 4th and 12th division members who had been sent down from Soul Society the day before. From what he heard, the 11th division fighter had been roped into some hare-brained scheme that involved… baking. That was good enough revenge for the captain, who was still ever-so-mildly peeved at being forced into the kendo tournament when Ayasegawa managed to get a free pass.

He was just about to sign off on some of the budgetary paperwork that had come through from Soul Society when he heard Matsumoto shriek.

"You pervert!"

Tōshirō jolted. His brush pressed hard into the paperwork, and what was once a neat row of writing was instantly reduced to a black inky blob. And unlike in Soul Society, where there were blank copies of the forms he could easily access, Tōshirō realized with a sinking heart that all his careful math had been for _nothing_, because he would now have to wait until a new delivery from Soul Society brought him extra forms and documents. Then, he would have to copy everything out all over again.

He gritted his teeth as he stood from the table and made his way to the front door with his fists tightly clenched.

Matsumoto had Kurosaki's gikongan in her hands and was hitting it against the railing of the staircase outside.

"Nice angle? _Nice angle?"_ She kept repeating, her voice becoming exponentially louder with each syllable. "Didn't last night teach you that you shouldn't get fresh with random women? And what do you do? You come _right back to look up my skirt?_"

The toy was babbling incoherently. And the nosey woman that lived below from Inoue was opening her door to check out the commotion.

"Matsumoto!" Tōshirō snapped. "Deal with it somewhere else."

She froze, arm poised to crush the lion's head against the hard metal railing again. From what Tōshirō could see, Kon's eyes were unfocused. _But really, it's stuffed with cotton_, Tōshirō thought. _How is all this abuse possibly hurting it?_

She huffed in indignation. "Fine. Come on," she growled at the hapless toy, and with a vice-like grip that had the toy gasping for breath, Matsumoto went down the stairs and turned onto the street.

Below him, Tōshirō could hear the middle-aged woman muttering about crazy children. The 10th division captain sighed. He was going to have to modify the woman's memory _again_. And he really, really, _really_ hated using the memory modifier.

_Way to go, Shinigami Women's Association,_ he thought in irritation. _Everything essential to running a mission in the real world – such as the memory modifiers, the soul candy… you just _had_ to feminize it. What next? Our cellphones?_

The thought of carrying a Chappy shaped cellular phone everyday made his stomach heave.

**[C]**

[**T**]he (remaining) paper work was done. The cleaning was done. And Matsumoto had called earlier to say she would be bringing back lunch. Life was good. Tōshirō looked forward to actually being able to enjoy a decent lunch and take a nap, before heading out to train with Karin.

He was just about to tie up the final trash bag, when a horrified scream had him turning around in alarm.

"What?" He asked, absolutely baffled.

"You have to separate the garbage!" His lieutenant cried. "You can't just throw everything in the same bag!"

"R-really?" He sputtered, taken aback by how… passionate Matsumoto was behaving about the trash. And the worst part was, her words sounded vaguely familiar, as though Inoue had mentioned something about separating garbage sometime in the recent past.

"Do it again!" Matsumoto commanded.

"Yes," Tōshirō said. Of course. It wouldn't be proper for him to mess up the garbage-

_Wait_, he thought. _Why is she yelling at me, when I just cleaned everything up. Why is she telling me how to do it, if she obviously had been given instructions before hand on what to do…._

"Matsumoto!" He snarled, annoyed that she had thrown him off balance enough that he had almost given in to her. "I'm not doing it over again. Since Inoue obviously left instructions with _you_ about what to do with garbage, and since all this trash is _yours_… You take care of it."

Her eyes widened. "Ah, ah…" She stammered. "I gotta go, Taichō. I… you see, I forgot… I left Kon… Gotta-go-now-I'll-talk-to-you-later-bye!"

And she was out of the apartment, the door slamming shut so hard that it shook the building, before he could so much as open his mouth.

_Brilliant_, he thought angrily. _Why in the world do I put up with all of her irresponsible, lazy-_

-His stomach growled….

-And he could hear the downstairs neighbor complaining loudly, outside the apartment complex, right below the living room window, to some random passerby about ill-mannered children and how they lacked upbringing.

In the privacy of Inoue Orihime's apartment, Hitsugaya Tōshirō let loose a string of profanities.

**[C]**

[**D**]espite his best efforts, Tōshirō was unable to hide his irritable mood from Karin as they worked through zanjutsu drills. At least the girl had waited until the two of them were walking home and away from the prying ears of Yoruichi before inquiring.

Tōshirō heaved a sigh and slid his eyes over to glance at her. "What do you think?" He asked. "Matsumoto."

Karin frowned. "I thought you two made up. I mean, it was all I could do to not throw my bowl of rice at her last night at dinner; she kept grinning at me like… like…"

"A drunken idiot?" Tōshirō supplied helpfully. "We did. But that's not the issue."

"So what now?" There was something oddly patient about her voice. "Are you having problems with her getting her work done?"

Under any other circumstances, Hitsugaya Tōshirō would have _never_ considered sharing his frustrations with another individual. He felt that it was almost in bad taste to rant and rave, to unload one's burdens on someone else. But he also knew that the girl would have persisted if he attempted an evasive reply. And really, considering how much time they spent together simply talking, he had already inadvertently revealed several things, including his 2nd in command's questionable work ethic.

And then it all came spilling out. How at lunch time, Matsumoto Rangiku had essentially ruined his day. And how he had spent the hours following her freak out about garbage absolutely famished as he dealt with the nosey downstairs neighbor who, despite Inoue's claims of being a sweet, old, kind, understanding and lovely lady, _clearly _hated them. And the woman apparently was also a vindictive gossip, judging from how many people she had proceeded to call simply to complain about Matsumoto's deplorable behavior. This meant Tōshirō had to pull out the Chappy-themed memory modifier and wipe her memory for the third time since he started staying with Inoue. But worse yet was how he had been forced to track down the landlady - another seemingly sweet old woman - and wipe her memory too so as to prevent Inoue Orihime from returning home only to find herself evicted.

Then it came time for him to meet Karin after school, with no lunch in his stomach, no afternoon nap, his day mostly ruined.

"Hey," she said as he fell silent, "how about I help you with the apartment?"

Tōshirō wasn't expecting her offer. As he struggled to find an appropriate response, she continued. "Don't tell me it's not necessary, or that it's not my problem, or that you've got it covered. I want to," she insisted. "Two of us working together means we could finish quicker. And that means more of your time that I can steal."

Karin flashed him an innocent smile that was just short of wicked. "You're all smart and stuff, right? So I was going to ask if you'd be nice enough to help with some of my homework, cause training with Yoruichi-san's taken up so much time…"

He was sharp enough to notice the ambiguous phrasing of her sentence. "Are you asking me to help you _do_ homework, or help you _with_ homework?"

"I'll be ambitious and say… let's aim for the former."

If it had been anyone _but_ Kurosaki Karin who had approached him with such a favor, Tōshirō had no doubt he'd have told them to stop being lazy, that homework and studying was designed to help, not hurt them, and that he had better things to do.

But because it was her, he said, "I guess."

"Awesome!" She said. "And how about this. Instead of us eating at home tonight, let's go out for dinner. I know you've been curious about some of the restaurants we've passed by. So why don't I treat you to something new? Without Otou-san, of course, because he has this amazing ability to ruin new experiences. And don't fuss about money. The upside of _not_ being into all the girly things Yuzu-chan adores is that I've nothing to spend my allowance on."

Tōshirō had to admit that it was an extremely kind gesture on her part. After all, it was arguable that they were exchanging her help in cleaning and recycling (not that he knew what that was) with his in doing her homework. But really, her happiness alone was enough to motivate him into doing just about anything she wanted. The smile on her face was payment enough.

**[C]**

[**W**]hen Kon returned with Matsumoto that evening, Hitsugaya Tōshirō was prepared.

"Matsumoto," he said as the woman bounced in, "Give me the mod soul."

The toy tried to run, but Matsumoto grabbed a hold of an ear and yanked Kon off its feet. But the fukutaichō did not hand the toy over immediately.

"Eh, Taichō. What are you going to do to it?" She asked.

The captain glared at her. "I'm returning him to Kurosaki's room, like you were supposed to do today."

She handed the struggling toy without a word, sulking.

"I'll be back in a bit," he told his subordinate. "There is food in the-"

But she had found the food already.

With a sigh, Tōshirō stepped out of the apartment and headed towards the playground.

**[C]**

[**W**]ith Karin's help, Tōshirō had Kon securely bound up with duct tape. The stuffed animal resembled a mummy (or so Karin said) with only its head spared. Then, for good measure, they taped the toy up against the side of the swing set. The preliminary preparations complete, Tōshirō popped the gikongan back into the toy, leaving his palm firmly over its mouth as the mod soul regained consciousness and started squealing.

"Kon," Tōshirō said in a low, serious voice, "I'm going to remove my hand because we need to talk to you. But if you start screaming, Karin's volunteered to use Yuzu's sewing kit on you."

It was interesting to see how its eyes managed to widen in fear. The toy nodded slowly.

Tōshirō took a step back and the toy let out a scream that was quickly muffled by his fist in its mouth.

"No. Noise. Remember? Otherwise, we'll start sewing your mouth together."

The toy nodded as best as it could. The first thing it said when Tōshirō pulled his hand away was a panicked "Ok, ok, I won't scream. Don't be rash, now."

From the side came a muffled noise, and Tōshirō glared at the girl who was bent over laughing silently.

"You know Matsumoto and I have been visiting the house."

Kon nodded.

"And you know about Kurosaki Isshin's status as a Shinigami."

Again, a nod.

"What else do you know?"

"Me? I don't know anything. I'm just a cute little stuffed lion." The toy was clearly lying. For one, it had broken into sweat. The physiology behind the reaction baffled the boy.

"What else do you know?" Tōshirō ground out.

"You know, why don't I try?" Karin called. Tōshirō paused, then nodded. He watched as the girl approached the stuffed animal.

"Hi Kon. You know who I am, right?"

The animal nodded enthusiastically.

"And you obviously know that I'm friends with Hitsugaya-taichō, since I'm obviously helping him out right now?"

The toy's voice only had the slightest hint of wariness. "I suppose…"

"Ok. Well. Here's the deal. Whether or not you'll admit to it right now, both Hitsugaya-taichō and I are aware that you spend a lot of your time sneaking around town when Ichi-nii is not home. And therefore I think it would be completely reasonable to assume that you may be privy to random details about my life, or Hitsugaya-san's life, or that of Rangiku-san, or any of the other Shinigami- Shut up!" She snapped irritably, when the toy started to make noises of protest.

"I don't care what you say, because I can tell you right now that you're not going to convince me otherwise. So here's the deal. Are you listening?" The toy nodded enthusiastically in response to the sweet and deadly tone of Karin's voice. "I want you to agree to these terms. 1. You are to _never_ mention any and all visits by Hitsugaya Tōshirō and Matsumoto Rangiku to our house to anyone. 2. You are to never mention, or even suggest, that Hitsugaya Tōshirō and Matsumoto Rangiku are known to the rest of the family, which include myself, Yuzu-chan, and Otou-san. 3. You shall not mention _anything_ that has happened in the weeks that Ichigo has been away to anyone. 4. You are never going to mention that I have any knowledge what so ever of anything related to the Shinigami and the spiritual world."

She took a breath, then turned to Tōshirō. "Did I miss anything?"

He shrugged. "Not that I can think of," he said blithely. "After all, he should be smart enough to understand that it would be better to err on the side of caution when it comes to complying with these stipulations, rather than attempt to toe the boundaries with what is and isn't permissible."

The smile on Karin's face was absolutely diabolical.

"Right!" She said. "After all… and here's another thing you're not allowed to ever mention, suggest, or even think about: I'm pretty good friends with Shihōin Yoruichi. And you know who she is, right? And through her, we've gotten Urahara Kisuke to help us out. If either Tōshirō or I so much as _think_ you are _possibly_ violating one of those terms of agreement, Urahara Kisuke would take that as your permission to submit yourself to a series of… modification experiments."

"Wa-wait!" Kon squealed. "That's black mail! What did I ever do to you? You can't hand me over to him!"

"Why can't we?" Karin asked. "There's certainly nothing stopping us from doing it. And I don't think it's unreasonable at all. After all," she said, pleasantly smiling, "you won't ever have to worry about it, because you would never, ever, even consider hinting about anything related to Tōshirō or me, right?"

The toy gulped audibly. "Right," it said faintly.

"Good." The girl turned to Tōshirō. "Hitsugaya-san, are we all done then?"

He nodded.

The two of them stepped away, leaving the toy screaming.

"Well, that went well," Karin remarked.

Tōshirō gave her a half-irritated look. "It seems like too much trouble," he groused. "I don't know why you insisted we do that to him. Couldn't we have just talked, without all the… kidnapping and threats?"

"Really, Tōshirō. It's a stuffed animal. Do you think Kon would respond if you pulled your rank? Or if you used nice words? If he did, Rangiku-san wouldn't have lost her temper at him. Rangiku-san's one of the nicest people I know."

"Matsumoto invites the attention, half the time."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, but still- never mind. It worked, either way. Our plan, that is. And besides, I had fun."

"Fun?" he enquired, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah," she said. "It was like a scene out of the movies."

Hitsugaya Tōshirō decided the best course of action was to bite his tongue and not press the issue any further. Sometimes, he really did not understand Kurosaki Karin.

**[C]**

[**T**]he rest of week went by without much incident and somehow, both Tōshirō and Karin found themselves falling into a routine. Every morning, Karin would attend school while Tōshirō busied himself with Shinigami duties, taking the earlier patrols as the only early riser of his team. After school, Karin would work with either Yoruichi or Tessai, while Tōshirō, after his afternoon nap, would stop by and help her with her zanjutsu training.

And Karin wasn't lying when she said she needed help with zanjutsu, because she really was terrible at it. The fear mirrored in her eyes was almost enough for Tōshirō to call off training, if not for the fact that the determination he saw in her shone brighter and truer.

And she was stubborn. The one time he offered to "try something new for a change" and work with wooden training bokkens instead, the offended girl nearly singed his haori with a kidō spell that the Shinigami captain only _thought_ he recognized. Thankfully, Tessai decided to direct Karin's focus to healing kidō the next day. Tōshirō hoped it would curb Karin's tendency to send balls of kidō-fueled fire his way.

If she did particularly well they would end training early and spend the remainder of time before dinner playing a game of soccer. Outside the confines of gigais or human bodies, they were starting to establish their own rules for Shinigami Soccer, which allowed _controlled_ use of Kidō and Shunpo throughout the game. As far as training went, it was the perfect way to relax while still allowing Karin to practice using different Shinigami techniques in unison.

The day ended with dinner, and if time permitted he would stay with Karin while she grumbled over homework. More often than not he found himself helping her, at least with the arithmetic problems, and only because he knew that she already was familiar with the material. As an elementary student, she was given an alarming amount of work every day, and even he didn't see the point of all the repetition.

He wasn't sure if he did it so the girl would stop whining, or if he did it so they could spend a little more time together, sitting on the roof, staring at the stars…

She never forced him to talk, or felt the need to fill the silence with mindless chatter. He appreciated her company, and quiet understanding. It startled him how in under a month this human girl, by some quirk of fate, ended up in his life. The ease they felt when they were together was disconcerting, simply because it was so _unexpected_. But what was equally puzzling was how his increased interaction with her changed nothing fundamental about himself. Perhaps it was because she never demanded any change; If anything, she made him more secure in who he was, because she accepted him without hesitation.

And there was nothing about her that he would have changed. Odd as it was, he understood her completely.

**[C]**

[**S**]aturday was disrupted with a jarring shock when training with Karin was cut short by the sudden and overwhelming reiatsu that _screamed _"Arrancar".

There was no time. Both of them could do no more than exchange a glance, before he shot off in the direction of the threat. The last thing he saw was her sheathing her katana. At least Yoruichi was close by. She would keep Karin safe in his absence.

The situation being reported to him sounded grim, and he was more than grateful that the girl _wasn't_ like her brother, who would have _insisted_ on following after him. She wasn't ready to face the Arrancar, and he wasn't ready to watch her get killed.

He came to a stop on top of a building in the business district, Matsumoto, Madarame and Ayasegawa right next to him.

The Arrancar were close. It was time to fight.

**[C]**

* * *

_Annd… the action and emotion picks up from here. I'll try my best to update next week as scheduled, however 3 exams next week mean that there is a (small) chance that we'll not get an update till next Thursday, or the week after, even. I'll see what I can do. I'm really, really sorry. I feel awful about i, because all of you have been so amazing and supportive with reviews and PMs these past two months, and I really don't want to let you down. So please understand that I'm trying! _

_I can't believe I'm still behind on replying to reviews. The couple of people who've left me reviews this past weekend, I'm sorry I've not had time to get back to you. I'll do that once I get some sleep in me. To my anon reviewers, I LOVE YOU! But how on earth can I respond to questions if I've no way of contacting you? Some answers are far too involved for me to leave a note at the end of the story about :(_


	16. Chapter 16

_I'm almost caught up with reviews. I know! *gasp* We're getting there! If I haven't gotten to your PM or review (or if you're anonymous), I'm sorry! I'll get to you soon! Probably after I finish memorizing the function of all the cranial nerves… and the appropriate tests to figure out if one is damaged…_

_To answer people's questions: We're picking up around the events of Episode 136, when three rogue Arrancar enter Karakura town seeking out Urahara Kisuke. I'm planning on having this story follow up through Episode 143 of the anime, before the diverging from what we see in anime. We'll have some action in Karakura/Soul Society from that point forward that is meant to be a portrayal of the events happening while Ichigo attempts to wreck havoc in Hueco Mundo. If anyone knows how long Ichigo is there for, I'd love you forever if you'd let me know (as well as where you got it from, so I can save that reference). For the duration he's there, we don't see anything from Tōshirō or Karin. Which means I've plenty of opportunity to express what I think should happen, which (in my opinion) is a lot more exciting than what we usually see Karin get involved with._

_Bleach doesn't belong to me. If it did... the anime episode about Zabimaru wouldn't have happened. It had me banging my head on my desk. How am I supposed to ever fit that into this story line, or in some other story that spins off from Catalyst? God. Besides, it was really kinda... sad. In a pathetic kind of way. Really? Flash back in the end to little snakey boy fading off into the distance in a field of fresh green grass? Give me a break._

* * *

**[C]**

[**T**]ōshirō had lost track of the time, but with how the sky was rapidly darkening, he knew that the drawn out battle with the Arrancar had been continuing for far too long. And he was so _tired._ These Arrancar were no laughing matter, and it seemed as though the opponents he was coming across were becoming harder and harder to defeat. It didn't help that these Arrancar were so damn _cocky. _The one he now faced seemed to talk endlessly, taunting, teasing, its smug words grating at his nerves. If only he could just kill the damn thing in a single blow and silence it for eternity. However, even with his limiter released, the 10th division captain was hesitant to utilize his zanpakutō's Bankai. The previous encounter with the Arrancar weighed heavily on his mind. His opponent then and his opponent now were not Espada. That Hyōrinmaru in Shikai was not sufficient to kill his opponent only served to confirm his fears that only the highest ranking officers of the Gotei 13 would stand a chance against Aizen's army. Everyone else was just… cannon fodder.

Then Matsumoto fell, and Tōshirō knew he had to end the battle, _now._

_Focus_, he warned himself. _For everyone's sake. I'm better than this, damn it. I can beat this thing. _

He could do this without Bankai. He had to prove it to himself.

"Sōten ni zase, Hyōrinmaru!"

The fight Madarame had initiated waged on below him. Tōshirō could feel the change in the 3rd seat's reiatsu and knew that the man, too, was ready to bring the battle to an end.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō attacked.

**[C]**

[**T**]he Arrancar were dead. It didn't matter how far either of them ran, because they wouldn't survive for another minute more. They knew it, and he knew it. But it was careless, not finishing up the kill, and extremely arrogant to assume that he had done enough damage that they were beyond saving. If not for his injured fukutaichō, Tōshirō would have chased after the cowardly Arrancar. Instead, he sheathed his zanpakutō and went to Matsumoto's side.

"Taichō," the woman acknowledged.

A quick glance over told him she was mostly unhurt. Bruised and scratched up, but there was nothing serious. The worry in his heart lightened.

"Come," he told her. "Madarame, Ayasegawa," he called.

The two men turned to look at him and nodded.

There was one more Arrancar that Tōshirō could feel. With how the reiatsu of both the remaining Arrancar and Abarai were fluctuating, it didn't take a genius to deduce that they were locked in battle. The three Shinigami by Tōshirō's side followed his lead as he took to the air, hurtling over the tops of buildings towards the churning reiatsu.

And Karin… He allowed himself the luxury of reaching his reiatsu out to probe hers. It wasn't that he couldn't already feel her – Kurosaki Karin's reiatsu was a cloud that seemed to constantly stay with him. But reaching out and brushing up against the core of her essence and feeling it strong, healthy, and most importantly, far away from the ongoing conflict helped ease his worries about her safety, nonetheless. If he was being over-protective… it didn't matter, did it? As long as he didn't allow her to distract him from his duty. And speaking of duty… He had to finish his. He put in an extra burst into his next shunpo step. The sooner he got to Abarai, the sooner they could ensure that all the Arrancar were taken care of.

And then he could check on her.

**[C]**

[**T**]here was a sudden, strong flare of reiatsu in the distance.

_So this is what the Arrancar feel like_, Karin thought, when she caught her breath.

She _thought_ she knew what the Arrancar felt like from earlier when Tōshirō first left her side to face the threat. But _this_ was different. It was… menacing, threatening, terrifying. She knew the Arrancar were far away, coming from somewhere in the direction of the city; at least, that was where she could place the boy. But for that awful, dreadful energy to stretch that far and still hit her with enough force to cause her to gasp… She could only imagine what it would be like to be standing face to face with the Arrancar when it flared its reiatsu.

_You promised me you'd be careful_, she thought desperately. She could only hope he would keep his word.

"Hitsugaya-kun is good at what he does," Yoruichi said, breaking the girl's train of thought. "Don't let the enemy's strength startle you. You've never seen Hitsugaya-taichō at his fullest."

Karin turned to face her mentor. "Wouldn't that be bad, though?" She asked hesitantly. "I mean, Tōshirō wouldn't go all out unless…" The grim look on Yoruichi's face had Karin's stomach twisting. "They're dangerous, aren't they? They're capable of killing him."

"And that is why we hope that we won't feel Hitsugaya-kun from this distance."

"And now we wait?"

The woman nodded. "We wait."

**[C]**

[**Y**]oruichi did her best to keep Karin occupied. They reviewed her kidō. They practiced zanjutsu. They practiced hakudo. They played around with integrating hohō into all the forms of attack. And still Karin worried.

"Focus on the battle," Yoruichi said. Her voice was stern, but gentle. Karin knew the woman understood.

"Sorry," Karin said, adjusting her grip on her sword. "It's just…"

The sun was setting, the sky glittering gold, amber and ruby. And in the distance, past the tops of the trees that surrounded the forest clearing, she could make out the column of blue from burst in reiatsu. _Take care,_ she thought, as Tōshirō's familiar cold energy rolled over her.

Yoruichi closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Hitsugaya-kun will be fine. It is him and Matsumoto against the Arrancar."

"How can you tell that?" Karin asked curiously. If she concentrated, she could feel the fluctuating reiatsu – Tōshirō's called to her, and Matsumoto's was a familiar hum. But the others she didn't recognize, except that they felt like Shinigami. And she certainly couldn't discern who was fighting with who.

"Well, if you concentrate…" the woman began.

Finally an exercise Karin could concentrate on. As the former taichō broke the fundamentals of how to sense spirit threads, and gauging location and distance by the ebb and flow of reiatsu, Karin realized that somehow she could intuitively tell how well people were doing. Tōshirō felt... tired, like a runner who was on the last leg of a marathon. But she knew he had more in him, a reserve of energy he kept in case he needed that last burst of speed to reach the finish. Matsumoto too wasn't being pushed to her breaking point quite yet. The reiatsu Yoruichi helped her identify as Madarame seemed almost… playful. And Ayagesawa felt idle.

But the reiatsu Yoruichi identified as Abarai (Although the woman alternated using the name "Freeloader-san" as well) was struggling. It felt… thready, like the weak pulses she sometimes listened to in her capacity as a nurse at her father's clinic. If she thought of the reiatsu as the heart beat, this Abarai's heart felt as though it was struggling to keep up with the strain the body was going through.

Karin expressed as much to her mentor, who nodded grimly.

"I might have to check on freeloader-san," she said. "Kisuke and Tessai aren't there to watch the shop, and while Kisuke is careful to keep everything careful warded, if Abarai goes down, I can't chance having the Arrancar get a hold of any of Kisuke's toys…"

Karin nodded, still focused intently on the feel of Tōshirō's reiatsu. "If you have to go," she said quietly, "I understand…"

The girl was startled, when the woman grabbed her by the shoulders. Piercing gold eyes stared at her. "Whatever you do Karin-chan, stay here. No-" and the woman tightened her grip as Karin opened her mouth to protest. "You are to stay here. You've progressed amazingly well, but you will be more of a liability than a help in the middle of battle. I'll come get you when it's over, and you can help with the healing. But right now you'll be a distraction. The boy will worry if you suddenly show up. Believe me when I say you could be killed in a single hit."

Karin nodded wordlessly. What Yoruichi said made sense, and Karin hated that it did. After all, how many times had Karin sat through those action dramas where the stupid female character simply _had_ to rush up to aid the hero, only to cause him to become distracted? It always ended the same way, with the good guy getting badly hurt because the girl wouldn't stay put. If Karin went rushing in there, she somehow knew Tōshirō would drop everything to keep her safe. And even a momentary shift of his attention in battle could be deadly. After training with Yoruichi and Tōshirō, Karin had come to respect how crucial those split seconds were in battle.

The woman took off with one last promise of returning shortly, and Karin sat down on the ground, eyes fixed on the sky and the flashes of reiatsu in the horizon, and waited.

**[C]**

[**S**]he was pacing when she felt Matsumoto's reiatsu waver before plummeting to what Karin would have called a "resting state". She deduced the woman had probably been knocked unconscious which, all things considered, was a lot better than the alternatives.

But that meant the young captain was fighting on his own.

When his reiatsu flared, Karin thought her heart would stop. Her world narrowed down to the feel of Tōshirō around her. Her hand was clenched tightly around the red spirit thread she identified as his, with the delicate red strings that bound him to her.

_Dear god, he is strong_, she found herself marveling when he released a burst of reiatsu with such ferocity that the backwash alone was enough to take her breath away.

Then finally, the first Arrancar faded, followed by the next.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Come on, Karin-chan," and there was Yoruichi, landing onto the ground next to her. "Kisuke should reach the shop at any moment, so the last Arrancar will be taken care of regardless. Let's go check up on everyone."

With a nod, Karin climbed to her feet, and took after Yoruichi as she sped through the sky. She was grateful that the Goddess of Flash was mindful of her skills and kept an easy pace that Karin could follow.

"Why didn't you fight it?" Karin suddenly blurted out midair.

The woman's answer was terse. "It's not my fight anymore. It shouldn't be. We left Soul Society."

"But Yoruichi-san, you're obviously strong enough. Surely if you had intervened, Abarai-san wouldn't be struggling right now."

"Karin-chan," there was a weight to the woman's voice that the girl couldn't quite understand. "How else will he get stronger, if someone was always there to fight his fights?"

"But what if he dies?"

"We are Shinigami. When we enter the academy, we make that pledge to defend Soul Society, and uphold the balance. We are _death gods_, Karin-chan. We are intimately familiar with death."

But that all seemed so wrong to Karin. To not help, because the guy was okay with dying?

"That's it?" She asked incredulously.

"That's it." The woman confirmed. "I stayed and watched. Abarai-san will survive, and he has the others to help him. If I thought he his life was on the line I would have intervened, but not before. Not until that final blow was about to be struck."

Karin's voice was soft. "Why?"

"Because everyone must learn to fight on their own. To fight independently and not use others as a crutch. Because there won't always be someone there to help him. Because there is his pride."

"I see," Karin murmured. And she thought she did, maybe. She would mull over the woman's words again, when she got home. But for now…

They arrived at the store, and the woman gestured for Karin to remain silent as they crept in. Everyone was gathered in the training ground down below. _Sound travels upwards, _Karin couldn't remember who had told her that little tidbit, or if it was even true, but it certainly seemed the case now. The voices carried up easily through the open trap door. Simply by peering down, Karin could see and hear everyone, although from the distance, everything appeared tiny.

Tōshirō had mentioned Aizen to her already, but it was such a difficult topic for him, that Karin never really gleaned much information from the boy. At the time, she had been more concerned with keeping the conversation to a level that he was comfortable with, because they had been circling around the delicate subject of his sister. But now, she found herself wishing she had pressed for a little bit more. Because whatever this hougyoku thing was she didn't know, but it sounded as though it was a really, really big deal. And despite hearing of Aizen, listening to Urahara's description of the manipulative man as someone who would derive pleasure in intricate schemes to send dissidents to certain doom like it was a _game_… who wasted lives for amusement…

The reality of her situation sank in. The kidō lessons, the shunpo tag, the zanjutsu drills…

_I'm still not ready. I forgot this was more than just training. There are real dangers involved… _Karin bit her lip. The weight of her zanpakutō against her back was suddenly a very real reminder of the deadly weapon she now possessed.

"Come on," Yoruichi said, interrupting the girl's thoughts. "Kisuke's going to be sending everyone up to be checked over and healed up. You can fuss over your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Karin cried, momentarily forgetting her darker thoughts. "I don't even _like him like that_."

"Ah, ah, Karin-chan." There was a cheeky, all-too-knowing smile on the woman's face. "So why are you blushing?"

The girl scowled. "Because it's _embarrassing_? Isn't that why people blush?"

"Tch. So don't find it embarrassing."

"Isn't it embarrassing being stuck with _him_ sometimes?" Karin countered as she pointed down the trap door at the man who now had the fan out, talking to everyone in that evasive, self-debasing, lilting voice as he prattled about the necessity to have healthy, strong bodies.

Yoruichi arched an eyebrow. "I've had centuries to get used to him."

"Uh huh, and?" Karin pressed, hands on her hips as she looked the woman in the eye. "You still don't verbally acknowledge _your_ ties to him."

"Would you, if you were stuck with him?"

"I'm not stupid," Karin said, as she followed the woman into the living quarters behind the store front.

"Hitsugaya-kun on the other hand… why would you be embarrassed of him?"

"He's not my boyfriend. _That_ part is embarrassing. Tōshirō himself is a perfectly nice boy."

"So you _do _like him!"

"Better him than Urahara-san," Karin muttered.

Yoruichi grinned at her. "Ah ha!" The woman cried triumphantly. "But it's ok. We'll pretend he's not your boyfriend. Karin-chan's too young to appreciate boys right now anyway."

Karin rolled her eyes. "Thank god."

Yoruichi slid open the door to an empty room. "I'll go find our darling Hitsugaya-taichō for you. Let you fuss over your little boy-"

"Hey!"

Shihōin Yoruichi had a great sense of humor. But it sucked when she was laughing at you.

**[C]**

"[**Y**]ou look like hell," Karin remarked as Tōshirō stumbled into the room. Well, really, he didn't look too bad. Mostly, he looked tired, and his face was pretty badly scratched up. But it was clear he didn't appreciate the comment because he scowled.

"I mean," Karin quickly added. "You just look really tired, and put out."

"What are you doing here?" He wanted to know as he settled down on the tatami mat next to her.

Karin shrugged. "Well, Yoruichi-san mentioned that you needed to be healed up, although unless you're hiding something major under your clothes, it looks like all there is, are a couple of scratches? And well, in terms of healers, it was between me or Tessai-san. And while I know Tessai-san's a great healer, I heard he kinda goes overboard with the bandages."

Seeing Tōshirō wince, Karin knew she probably heard right. Not that Yoruichi had any reason to lie.

"Hold still," she warned, holding her hands out in front of his chest. The healing kidō flowed naturally enough, although it required concentration for her to maintain it. She cleared her mind, focusing on the feel of energy being channeled into him. She imagined the cuts and abrasions slowly healing over, the soft pink skin that covered the cuts, gradually fading to pale unblemished skin. She imagined his reiatsu being slowly replenished, a ball of energy being slowly rebuilt, particle by particle. It wasn't so much a kidō technique as it was a way for her to direct her attention to what needed to be done, and focus the healing energy where it was needed the most.

She visualized last of the spirit particles settled into place, leaving a perfect sphere of pale blue energy inside him. His depleted store of spiritual energy would have returned on its own, especially if he consumed copious amounts of food. But it didn't cost Karin too much to heal his reiatsu. Making sure he was at 100% strength seemed a better idea to her than allowing his reiatsu to return naturally. After all, emergencies happened, and who knew if he'd need all his energy in a fight again, before he had a chance to refuel.

"Feel better?" She asked as she lowered her hands.

"You're getting better at it," he observed.

She shrugged the compliment off. "I wish we could do this at the clinic. It would be so much simpler…"

"But we're not supposed to interfere with the daily workings of the world," he reminded her.

She sighed. "I know, I know. You've told me, Yoruichi-san's told me. Tessai-san's too. But it _sucks, _seeing people hurt."

"It's not going to be the last time," the boy pointed out unhelpfully. "You learn to get used to it."

"That's so... callous!" She cried.

He was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes, I forget how young you are. It's callous, but it's the only way to cope."

There was a distinct emptiness in his voice, and it wasn't the usual emotionless tone he employed. Instead, there was a hollow ring that spoke of pain and loss.

"How long did it take you to get used to it?" She asked, knowing he knew what the _it _meant.

"I wouldn't know," he said honestly. "Because I'm still not used to it. At least, I'm not immune. I try not to become too attached to anything, because it's just simpler that way. But even then, when I lose a squad member… All I can do is remind myself that it's part of the job, and that we all know the risks. It's… You can say I'm picking my battles. I know I can't save everyone. So in the end it boils down to priorities. What is it that I can allow myself to care about? What is important enough that I _have_ to care about? And what are the things that would do me more harm than good, if I were to worry over."

Karin nodded slowly, heart heavy. She knew it was reality… but reality sucked. And quite frankly, she wished she didn't have to deal with it all quite yet. She was too young for it.

"Things are going to get worse from here on out, aren't they?" She asked quietly.

He nodded. "I'm afraid so."

**[C]**

[**T**]ōshirō knew Karin was upset with being left out later that evening, when Urahara Kisuke called a discussion over tea to determine the next move by Aizen and the Arrancar. He wasn't sure if it was the exclusion that was bothering her, or if it was the fact that things had gotten serious enough that there had to be an official meeting. And considering how he himself was extremely worried by the encounter the shopkeeper had had with the Espada, Tōshirō wouldn't have been surprised if part of Karin's anxiety and frustration had been from the worry she had picked up from him. But duty called, and he had to focus. He promised himself to be there for the girl afterwards, if it would help her feel better.

"Have you taken to sampling the area?" Tōshirō asked, after Urahara relayed his brief encounter with the Espada. "Figure out what it was that this Espada was interested in? The location you encountered the Espada is too far removed from the battle to be him following them."

Urahara nodded slowly. "I have considered that. And especially because this was the same Espada we encountered a month back, I am starting to believe that there was something specific about the fight that this Ulquiorra was sent to re-investigate."

"Wait, the same Espada?" Tōshirō asked, perplexed. He knew that the reason for the mission was to help Kurosaki with the pending Arrancar attacks, but there was no mention of Espada.

"Yes, yes. The same Espada. Not that I knew he was an Espada, then. But having had the chance to analyze the reiatsu of several of the Arrancar you have encountered in the past weeks, I can safely say that this Arrancar is definitely Espada level. As was the other Arrancar that we encountered that day. So it wouldn't be an unreasonable guess, to say that Aizen often sends out the Espada for the important tasks."

That wasn't good news. That wasn't good news at all. Tōshirō wished the damn shop keeper had mentioned these details earlier, because Soul Society definitely had to know. Espada activity. It just kept getting worse… and worse.

"So why did this Espada come out this time?" Abarai asked. "What could it be that Aizen is interested in?"

The man shrugged. "I was there for a good portion of the fight, so I already had concerns about the matter. But seeing how it had taken them a month to respond to it, I had thought perhaps I was wrong. The encounter this evening has had me thinking again, and I believe that my original fears are probably still the most warranted."

Not that that told them a damn thing about what the Espada was after. Tōshirō took a deep breath. He could snap at the man, but that would only serve to have Urahara take an even longer time to get to the point just to spite him. Tōshirō was _pretty _sure that Urahara Kisuke was responsible enough to realize certain information had to be conveyed – such as what Aizen was interested in. So… a waiting game. He could play that.

Shinigami sitting around the table stared at the former 12th division captain with expectant eyes.

The man shrugged, smiled genially as he sipped his tea. "As you already have gathered this incident with the Espada occurred before you came to the world of the living. The event that triggered your deployment, I believe. The two Espada – one of which being the one I encountered – landed in the middle of Karakura's main park. Sloppy work, really. They crashed in, rather than making use of a garganta, creating a huge crater. It drew a huge number of curious onlookers. And almost every one of them died. Over thirty souls were consumed in the initial couple of minutes – from what I understood, the Espada named Yami used an advanced soul stealing technique that ripped living souls out. The only survivor was one of Kurosaki's classmates, a girl named Arisawa Tatsuki. Inoue-san and Sado-san arrived just in time to prevent Arisawa-san from getting killed, but Sado-san was hurt in the process.

"Inoue-san was able to keep Sado-san alive until Kurosaki-san showed up. I believe she attempted to attack the Espada, but had that portion of her powers destroyed. She's now without any form of direct attack capabilities. Kurosaki-san showed up about then, and severed the Espada Yami's right arm. Yoruichi-san and I showed up as Kurosaki-san struggled to with his inner hollow.

"There would be evidence of all those events. Specifically Sado-san's Brazo Derecha de Gigante, all of Inoue-san's Shun Shun Rikka's powers, Kurosaki-san's reiatsu, and Yoruichi-san's and my own. I used Benehime, but Yoruichi-san relied soley on hakuda without use of shunkō. But Aizen wouldn't be interested in either me or Yoruichi-san. And Sado-san never managed to get an attack in, even though he was in form. Of all that would be of interest to the Aizen, I would say Kurosaki-san's developing vizard powers, or Inoue-san's Shun Shun Rikka. But my bet would be on Inoue-san."

Tōshirō spoke up, then. "Why?" He asked.

"Because of what Kurosaki-san reported. The Espada named Ulquiorra indicated Aizen was interested specifically in Kurosaki-san already. I had assumed then, that it had to do with Ichigo's budding vizard capabilities, and whatever they were interested in determining, they had accomplished in that initial investigation back then. But that this Ulquiorra would return to the scene of that battle a month, suggests to me that he is interested in something else he observed that day. And that would leave Inoue-san."

"What do you think they'd want with Inoue-san, though?" Abarai asked.

Urahara Kisuke did nothing more than shrug his shoulders. "I don't know," he said in a tone of voice that suggested he knew _far more_ than he was willing to discuss at the moment. "But Inoue-san is currently safe in Soul Society. Still, it suggests that Aizen is planning something. I know the man well enough to know that he does not do things by halves. If he's interested in Inoue-san, sending the Espada out will only be the first step."

"So now what?" Matsumoto asked.

"I would have thought Aizen would have addressed the issue of Inoue-san soon after; The Espada that was reporting back seemed to me the type that would have thoroughly discussed the matter immediately, so it is not as though there was a delay in Aizen receiving this information."

Urahara paused, and took a sip of his tea. "No. The reason why Aizen's taken as long as he has to do something about it, is because he's gone beyond a casual interest in Inoue-san, to having some kind of definitive plan that involves her. And while I don't know what that is, my suggestion is that we be on full alert. There is a chance that things are about to escalate. And judging by the Arrancar we have encountered so far, fighting the Espada is not going to be pretty."

**[C]**

* * *

_I'll make this work with canon. Or at least I'll try. You can laugh at me when I fail to tie everything up prettily._

_2 more midterms, and then time to indulge myself in some full time sulking and maybe a couple of days hiding in bed about a pathetic grade. *hints* Reviews would make me happier._


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: I struggled so much writing this. The next couple of chapters were so intense that it took me weeks to fully write it all. I had to get up and walk around and do something else, because getting into Karin's head and feeling what she was feeling made me want to scream, or go running, or do something physical and tiring, so I could stop thinking and just react. Not the best recipe for writing a story. I started writing this in late December, and it was only in February that I was able to progress through the next couple of scenes. The only reason I think I managed to do it was because of the wonderful, continuous support I've received. Thank you so much to all my reviewers. This chapter really is for you._

_Bleach does not belong to me. If it did, I wouldn't be a struggling college student._

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**[C]**

[**T**]here hadn't been a good way for her to sneak out of the shop, what with the meeting that Urahara had called being held right next to the hallway leading outside. That left her caged up in the back guest room, isolated from everyone else, and completely clueless about the important stuff the Shinigami were discussing. To say she felt left out was an understatement. Her curiosity ate away at her nerves, even as the growing anxiety inside her threatened the last shreds of her sanity. It seemed as though dark clouds were hanging over the whole damn store. The tension – the edginess in everyone's reiatsu – permeated the air. There were moments when Karin thought she would suffocate on it all.

She had never been more grateful when the door slid open. But instead of a pair of familiar blue-green eyes, she was greeted by a slender black cat.

"You okay?" Yoruichi asked by way of greeting.

Karin managed a grim smile. "I'm going out of my mind," she said. "It's so _boring_."

"Oh," the woman said. "Well, you didn't miss much at the meeting anyway."

_Like what?_ Karin wanted to ask. But she bit her tongue. She knew that there wasn't any point in asking if Yoruichi wasn't immediately offering any information up to her.

"I see," she said instead, hoping her voice didn't show her disappointment. She took a deep breath, hoping to calm her nerves. Down the hallway, through the flimsy walls, Karin could hear a muffled roar, followed by the sound of Matsumoto Rangiku's laughter. Perhaps things weren't that bad, if people were laughing. "Where's Hitsugaya-san?" She asked.

Yoruichi waved a paw about. "About ready to lose his temper, judging by the commotion outside," the woman remarked. "But he was trying to slip over here; I simply came ahead to make sure the coast was clear."

Karin nodded. It hadn't been easy the past week keeping her presence a secret within the shōten. While she rarely visited, her infrequent trips were marked with extreme caution; while the adults were aware of her Shinigami activity, as were the odd collection of mod souls that lounged about in little plush bodies, neither the idiot boy nor Ururu had a clue. No one trusted Jinta to keep his mouth shut.

A soft knock at the door had them turning to look over. Hitsugaya Tōshirō stood in the door way, his head tilted as narrowed eyes carefully regarded its surroundings. Only when he was certain no one was looking at him, did he slip into the room and close the door behind him.

"Hey," Karin said as brightly as she could muster. There was a tension to the boy. She couldn't tell if it was because of earlier events, the meeting, or from the general ruckus his fukutaichō was currently engaging in.

"I just wanted to tell you," he said, unable to fully meet her eyes, "that I can't really go to dinner."

There. Right to the point. And damned if that didn't have her stomach twisting.

"Okay," Karin said, drawing the word out slowly. She wasn't quite sure _what_ to say or do. All she knew was there was a distinct feeling of disappointment welling up inside her and she was furiously trying to squash it.

She wished she was more stoic. How she admired that in Tōshirō.

"I know Yuzu would have made food," he added, "but I really can't step away right now. Recent events… I have to submit full reports. As well as update Soul Society on recently revealed information-" this he said with a look of mild irritation, eyes sliding off to the side in the general direction of where Urahara Kisuke would presumably be within the store "-regarding Espada activity. And since we had to have our limited released there's the additional forms from-"

Karin cut him off with a wave of her hand. "It's ok," she assured him. "I understand."

His eyes held hers for several heartbeats.

_How could anyone mistake him for a child when he's in his Taich_ō _mode?_ She wondered. _It's one thing to look at his physical appearances and think he's a kid, but taking a look into his eyes… they're ancient. _

"Be careful walking home, ok?" He asked.

It was the first time he outwardly expressed concern for her wellbeing, and in front of a witness no less. Karin swallowed hard.

"You know I will," she said.

A loud bang echoed from somewhere in the store, causing the very walls to shake. A shouting match between Madarame and Abarai followed in quick succession.

"I should leave," Karin said quietly. "Before things get… messy."

"I'll walk you back," Yoruichi volunteered.

Karin started, having completely forgotten about the cat's presence when Tōshirō entered the room.

"That would be nice," she said to her mentor. And to Tōshirō, she said, "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe? Movies again, I think."

He nodded, but didn't say anything. She could feel his eyes fixed on her, even as she stepped out of the room

**[C]**

[**O**]nce home, she found herself listless, picking at her food as she browsed the kidō manuals she had been loaned. Usually she found it fun to go through the spells, learn about their mechanisms, and think up new ways to integrate them. Today, it just further emphasized how there was a war waging in the spiritual world, and the fact that people were going to get hurt.

She sighed.

A glance at the clock told her it was barely past seven. It was still too early to sleep, and Karin didn't know what else to do with her time.

On a whim, she started putting her dishes away and pulled out several empty containers, packing the remainder of the food away for Tōshirō and Matsumoto. Considering how often the two Shinigami took dinner with the Kurosaki family, Yuzu had begun to estimate them both in whenever she made dinner. Because she also always made extra on the off chance Ichigo or Rukia returned, there was always enough food for everyone, even when taking the Shinigamis' ridiculous appetites into consideration.

She paused to tell her father where she was going, and was met with a contemplative gaze before he finally nodded in agreement.

_So he knows too,_ she thought. It didn't surprise her, because anyone with spiritual awareness should have felt the clash earlier in the day. That he had retreated more than once into his clinic for "important telephone calls" suggested that he was probably communicating with Urahara in private. Karin wondered why she never noticed sooner, how her father seemed to receive mysterious telephone calls following the skirmishes her brother got involved in.

With his blessing she slipped out the door, food in hand. The night air was colder than she had anticipated, but returning to her room to retrieve a jacket would only raise questions with Yuzu. Orihime's apartment wasn't too far away. If she ran the distance, it would keep her warm.

And perhaps allow her to see Tōshirō sooner.

Still, she almost turned away when she reached Orihime's apartment, feeling uncertain as to whether he would want to be disturbed. After all, he had said he would be up to his ears in work and reports. Maybe it would be better for her to just… leave him alone. Karin made to leave the food at the door step, when she caught sight of the placard in the front of the door. _201: Matsumoto Rangiku, Inoue Orihime, Hitsugaya Tōshirō_. The big lettering proclaiming Matsumoto's name, complete with the colored embellishments never failed to make Karin smile. She liked how Orihime had considerately added Tōshirō's name too, although it looked to be more of an afterthought, with how the boy's name was written in the corner of the placard in _tiny_ handwriting.

The door swung open suddenly, and she found a pair of sea green eyes peering at her. "Are you coming in?"

That she hadn't expected. After a moment to collect herself she nodded, not knowing what to say, and crossed the threshold. The apartment was surprisingly neat; She had half expected piles of trash, or at least multiple trash bags in a corner like the last time.

"I just clean up every night now." The boy said gruffly. Karin realized she must have stared too long at the clean living room, if Tōshirō could easily tell what was running through her head. "It's easier to clean as I go, rather than spending half a day picking up after her."

"Where's Rangiku-san?" Karin asked, feeling awkward.

The boy huffed a little. "At Urahara's. She's having fun doing something or the other. You know."

And she did know. It was hard _not_ to know, when she had spent enough time with Tōshirō in the past week to hear veiled comments about the woman's perceived incompetency. Personally, Karin thought Tōshirō was a bit of a workaholic.

"Well," she said awkwardly. "I brought… I mean, Yuzu made…. Here," she said, thrusting at the boy. "The food is for both of you, but I guess Tessai-san is cooking dinner there, too." Mentally, she kicked herself. Of _course_ Tessai would have made food. He probably wasn't even going to touch a grain of rice after Tessai's cooking.

But instead, Tōshirō nodded. "Thanks," he said. "I never got to eat while I was there."

Karin nearly asked why, but judging from the edge in his voice, she knew the answer. Matsumoto.

He gestured for her to sit down as he tidied up the dining table. Stacks of paper were shuffled out of the way before setting up bowls and chopsticks.

She could easily read the sheet at the top of the stack and realized it was a detailed recount of the battle that day.

Karin made out the words '_captain level' _and_ 'overwhelming reiatsu' _before she bit her lip and turned away from the report, not wanting to know, not yet. She wasn't ready for battle. She didn't want to hear the reality of the situation, the danger, the risks. It was a good thing she had been that removed from the action, because simply _thinking_ about it after the fact was able to make her upset.

She hated when people got hurt. She hated that it was a necessity.

"You'll stay safe over the next couple of days, right?" Tōshirō asked suddenly.

She realized she had spaced out, because not only had the boy finished his food (Granted, he did eat fast), but he had also washed and put the dishes away.

"I don't go running off to fight Arrancar, if that's what you mean," she said shortly. "I'm not stupid."

He silently watched her, his eyes darkening to a green that reminded Karin of the sea before a storm. "They might go after anyone with higher than normal reiatsu."

"Oh," was all Karin managed to say. It took a moment for her to collect her thoughts and find the words to say. "So they might come after me even if I did nothing more than stay home?"

She saw the affirmation in his eyes, and in the way his lips were pressed into a thin, straight line.

"I… shouldn't go out with Otou-san and Yuzu-chan tomorrow then, should I?" she said faintly. "If there's a chance I'll put them in danger."

"Don't forget your father is a capable Shinigami."

That didn't help ease the anxiety Karin felt. "Yes, but, if these… Arrancar choose to target anyone with high reiatsu… wouldn't Otou-san and me together amplify things?"

Sometimes… it was _extremely _frustrating to sit with Tōshirō when he was in one of his quiet moods. She knew that was how he was when he dealt with an unpleasant situation. She was well aware there was a lot on his mind, not to mention a ton of work that demanded his attention. But with how _unsettled_ she felt, Karin wanted someone to let her vent. She wanted someone to take her mind off of things.

But all this wasn't something she could pick up the telephone and gripe to a classmate about.

What did she ever do to deserve all this? All she ever wanted was to be _normal._

With a sigh, Karin stood up. "I'll let you take care of your paperwork. I just stopped by to drop off dinner…"

"Karin." There was an intensity to his voice that had her pausing mid motion. Uncertain, she did nothing more than look at him.

"It's late," he said quietly. "It's not safe for you to be out right now."

She wanted to snap at him, that she was perfectly capable of walking home. After all, she made it _here_ in one piece, didn't she? But the anger quickly fizzled to a distinct sorrow, as she realized that he was simply trying to protect her, and that she couldn't offer him the same.

"If you rather I have someone walk me… I don't want to interrupt your work," she said. She stood up from the kitchen table. "I'm sure Otou-san can come get me."

His voice was casual, flippant. "You could sleep here."

"What?" Her voice was almost a yell. She gaped at him, eyes fixed on the boy who turned bored eyes at her, his face a carefully schooled mask of indifference. Karin struggled to find the right thing to say. "Ok, I just… That's kind of weir- I mean, did you just…" She took a breath. "What the hell? Stay the night? Where did that come from?"

Tōshirō rose from his place at the kitchen table to face her. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, a trace of irritation leaking into his voice as his cool façade started to break. "It was a perfectly reasonable suggestion," he said tensely. "It's late, and there's space."

"Right," the girl said sarcastically. "So I'm just going to call Otou-san, and be like, 'Hey, I'm staying over with Hitsugaya-san, cause he had this _brilliant_ idea about how there's, you know, space-"

She paused, horrified as realization dawned upon her. Karin balled her hands into fists, and clenched hard, wishing she could punch a certain Kurosaki elder right that moment. "No, no, no, no. He _did not_. My idiot father _did not_ call you in advance to tell you… to _what? Have a sleep over?"_

Karin couldn't tell if she was yelling, but she certainly felt like it. "Why? It's not like… not like we're _dating_ or- or anything! What is this? Some kind of _matchmaking attempt_? I'm going to kill him. Him and his stupid, romantic, _disgusting..._" She took a deep breath and counted to five before she let it out. "Ok. How about this? You could just walk me home and ignore him. I'll make it clear to him that he's an idiot."

Tōshirō was silent, but there was a tension to him, a hard, grim look in his eyes that had Karin faltering. A moment of panic struck her. She reached out blindly until her hand grasped the back of the chair, and gingerly lowered herself down.

She shook her head. "Oh, no. It's not… Yuzu-chan and Otou-san are fine. There's nothing bad happening at the house, I can't feel anything… So why are you – is he – trying to keep me away? Does he know there's danger coming? Is something happening? Or…. did he just arrange to have me brought here so I can be… what? Baby sat?"

She fell silent as she tried to quell the sudden, awful thoughts that swarmed her mind's eye.

"Is it really… that bad?" She asked in a tiny voice.

If her father had been standing in front of her, Karin knew he wouldn't be meeting her eyes right this moment. With Tōshirō, the boy met her gaze, but his eyes were cold and empty and lifeless when he said, "We have it covered."

The answer wasn't good enough for Karin. "_It_?" She parroted. "What it? Did something happen? What do you know?"

"I don't know anything, Karin. Just… stay here for the night, let it go."

After overhearing the conversation down in the basement, Karin had avoided any and all mention of hollows, or Arrancar, or Aizen, overwhelmed enough as it was by the sudden attack, the awful reality of the Shinigami world, seeing Tōshirō hurt. But while she was mostly in the dark about the whole war, she knew that there wasn't any hollow, let alone Arrancar activity in the vicinity. At least not at the moment. Were they anticipating a second invasion? Another battle? Was that what the meeting was about? The top-secret session that she hadn't been allowed to eavesdrop in?

"So… Otou-san asked you to keep me here tonight," she said quietly. "Was he worried I would bring danger to the household?"

There was a moment of silence before the boy answered. "I think Kurosaki-taichō was worried he wouldn't be able to keep both of you safe. Or perhaps he didn't want all of you in the same house, in case something did happen."

"So he's watching Yuzu, and… you're watching me?"

He gave her a look that was a cross between embarrassment and irritation. "You're good company," he said awkwardly.

"How long?" She asked. "Am I stuck 24/7 with you permanently? For a day? A week?"

Once again, he didn't reply.

Lovely.

"Could I use the phone?" She asked. The boy handed it over silently and retreated back to the kitchen to give her privacy while she dialed her father.

Her father picked up at the first ring.

"Karin-chan! Yes, yes, you can stay with Hitsugaya-kun. And Yoruichi-san will be coming to pick you up in the morning. And she'll have clean clothes, so you don't have to wear Hitsugaya-kun's, though you two are the same size, but then you won't have the proper under-"

"SHUT UP!" Her voice came out almost as a screech, and she clapped her hand over her mouth, grimacing apologetically at Tōshirō. Her face was burning, she knew it. "What did I say about being mature about all this? And what was the big idea about having me stay over? What's wrong with me coming home?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong, Karin-chan! I just thought you could spend more time with Hitsugaya-kun-"

"Otou-san!" she hissed, moving to the far corner of the room to avoid Tōshirō overhear the embarrassing conversation. "Stop being an absolute idiot."

He sounded a tad defensive. "I was just protecting my darling daughter."

Karin blew out a sigh. "From what?"

"Nothing, yet. But Karin-chan, a father worries. And especially now that you're involved in that world, you can't blame me for worrying even more. But be good and stay with Hitsugaya-kun tonight. I really rather not leave Yuzu-chan at home, just in case."

"But I made it here fine! You let me come here in the first place."

Her father's response was a mostly inaudible mumble. But the girl heard enough to turn instinctively to look at the Shinigami captain who was poised over his work with a horrified expression plastered across her face.

"No, no you did not. Otou-san. You called Tōshirō just to _watch me walk to his place?_ Why didn't you just ask him to pick up the damn food?"

"Because then he would have opted to skip dinner altogether. And having used up that much reiatsu today, Hitsugaya-kun needs to refuel."

Karin resisted the urge to hit her head against a wall. The boy was refueled, damn it. If anything,_ she _was the one lacking in reiatsu at the moment. With a shake of her head, she changed the subject. "So Yoruichi-san's picking me up? What about our Sunday movie?"

Was there the slightest hesitation before her father replied? "I thought me and Yuzu-chan could stay at home and do some baking! And Yoruichi-san enjoys your company. I heard she could use someone to run around with, do girly things."

Karin wondered how long her father had been talking to Urahara Kisuke for, because she highly doubted "running around" and "doing girly things" were activities Shihōin Yoruichi would describe herself engaging in.

"I see," she said in resignation. "Do I get to go home tomorrow night at least?"

"Yup! And I'll make sure we have a super special dinner prepared. With lots and lots of your favorite cookies. And maybe cake. Do you think Yuzu-chan will make me that awesome strawberry shortcake with the sprinkles and white frost-"

Recognizing the end of adult conversation, Karin hung up on him.

"Sorry," she said, as she handed the phone back to her friend.

He shrugged the apology off. "Don't be. I've had the privilege of dealing with your father for over a decade. Besides," he added, "I rather know you're safe."

Karin bit her tongue, not trusting herself to say something hurtful, mean, and entirely inappropriate. She knew he meant well, that both her father and Tōshirō were merely concerned for her and Yuzu's safety, but Karin couldn't help but feel like a pathetic, helpless girl at that point, a girl that required constant supervision.

The fact that she was now a Shinigami, and still unable to defend herself was a sore point. But what was worse, was Karin's worry that even if she did become better at all those skills Yoruichi, Tessai, and Tōshirō were training her in, she would always lack the backbone to fight.

She took a deep breath. "So this… carefulness. How long is it going to last?"

"As long as necessary." He was back to his paperwork again. The captain didn't even bother to look up.

Lovely. She now required a babysitter, indefinitely.

"Might as well just lock me up in Urahara's," she muttered angrily as she flopped onto the couch, half wanting to be overheard. She was being childish, but then again they were treating her like she was a child…

"Karin?" She whirled around to find Tōshirō looking straight at her, emerald eyes dark, a look of exasperation on his face. "Don't be stupid."

She sputtered.

"I wouldn't have you here if I didn't enjoy your company," he pointed out, voice firm, if not mildly embarrassed. "And if I can ever finish this report, we can… you know. Hang out. I would do it _after_, but I don't know _when_ that would be. Just-"

"I get it," Karin interrupted, feeling childish and guilty. "Finish your work. I'll be fine. I haven't talked to Zanpakutō-sama today yet, anyway."

He nodded tersely. "I'm sorr-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Don't apologize. You've nothing to apologize for. Do your work, Hitsugaya-taichō. I'm a big girl. I'll be fine."

She gave him a final smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but that seemed to satisfy the boy. He resumed his report, calligraphy brush delicately poised on his hand.

Karin settled back on the couch and sighed. She closed her eyes.

**[C]**

[**O**]nly a handful of stars were out, the others hidden behind dense, dark clouds. Something about the air told Karin that it was going to rain.

"Zanpakutō-sama?" She called tentatively, when she didn't see the woman manifest immediately before her eyes.

"It's going to rain, soon," the familiar voice whispered from somewhere behind her.

Karin whirled around, but could only make out a vague, dense shape. "Why can't I see you?"

She felt something brush against her cheek, a ghostly caress. "Do you remember, Karin-chan, what I said the first time you asked to see my face?"

Karin chewed on her lip, as she tried to recall the exact words. "You said something… about me learning to see with more than my eyes."

"Your heart is very clouded," the woman observed.

Karin bit back a sigh. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You don't know how to think without your head."

That made absolutely no sense to Karin, and this time when she sighed, there was a trace of frustration. The wind picked up, and the smell of rain grew stronger.

"If you keep that up, it's going to rain."

"Keep what up?" Karin asked.

"Be patient, Karin."

But Karin was sick of being patient. She was sick of the uncertainty, sick of life.

And the first of the rain fell.

It was odd, because it was a silent rain, the droplets of water falling down into the abyss below, never making contact with the nonexistent ground. Even the rain that fell on her was absorbed into the fabric of her kimono without a sound. If not for sensation of water hitting her clothes, the wetness on her face or hands, Karin wouldn't have known it was raining.

The last of the stars faded from view, and she was plunged into an eerie darkness.

Karin took a deep breath, and then another, trying to quell the frustration growing inside. _Patience_, she tried to remind herself. _Patience._ Never mind that the girl was beyond sick of everything spiritual today, was frustrated with all the Shinigami problems, and the threat of Arrancar, and feeling helpless and scared…

"Why did you come here, if you were sick of all this?" The zanpakutō's voice was faint, and for some reason, that scared Karin.

"Because…" she felt like an idiot, talking to the darkness, not being able to see where the woman actually stood. "Because I was hoping for a little bit of comfort," she said meekly.

"But, you silly girl, how am I supposed to offer that if you're pushing me away?"

"Zanpakutō-sama?"

"All of this that you're frustrated with – the spiritual, the emotional – how do you think they relate to me? If your mind is fighting against it, how am I supposed to help? How are you supposed to clear your heart if you're over thinking things?"

"How do you… _not_ use your head though?" Karin grappled with that concept, which, she found, only involved thinking even more.

Her head hurt.

"Stop thinking, Karin-chan."

"What do I have to do, then?" Karin cried.

She felt something cup her face. "Close your eyes, and focus on the beat of your heart," the woman murmured. "Don't think about anything else, just focus on your heart."

Her heart? That was something the girl could do. After all, her heart was hammering away in her chest, and she could _very distinctly_ hear each beat…

Thu-thud.

Thu-thud.

Thu-thud.

_Right. _"And then?" The girl asked.

She was received a sharp tap on the head in reply.

"Patience, Karin-chan. Just focus on your heartbeat, and listen to my voice. Follow your heart. Forget the rest. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, it's your heart that counts."

Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud.

And somehow, her world did seem to melt away, and all that was left was that rhythmical beating.

…Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud.

…The melodic voice, asking, "Why are you so scared, Karin-chan?"

_Follow your heart. Don't think, respond!_

"Because people are getting hurt!"

"And?"

"And _there's nothing I can do about it_!"

"Isn't that why you train?"

"Yes! But I'm not good enough- I mean, even with the training I'm…"

"You're what?"

"…I'm scared to fight."

"But you've fought before. You've faced hollows before."

"That's different!"

"How?"

"Those hollows were going after people. They were trying to hurt people."

"And what is the difference now?"

"I… I don't know. It's just… I mean… those previous times, when it came to facing these things, I didn't go up to the monster and think, 'I'm going to kill it'. I was thinking of how to save Yuzu-chan, how to save my friends…"

"But you killed, anyway. And you had no regrets."

"That's different! There was no choice. They were defenseless. I had no other option."

"But you didn't face a hollow today. You never came face to face with one. So why are you so upset?"

"Because other people did. People I lov-… I care about. And people got hurt."

"You can heal."

"I can heal after the fact. But what about during the fight? What if they _die! _What if they die because I'm not strong enough to fight? Or… or what if they die because I am simply too damn scared to do anything about it?_ THEN WHAT?"_

Karin's voice echoed, faded into the darkness.

Her zanpakutō's was gentle, but it held a hint of reprimand. "You can't save everyone, Karin-chan."

And Karin knew that.

"But for those that matter, the people you love. You would do anything."

Karin's reply was immediate and indignant. "You know I would!"

"At any cost? No regrets?"

The girl shook her head, voice hard and steady. "To keep the people I love safe? No. No regrets. Never."

"Then trust yourself, Karin-chan," the voice whispered gently. "And understand that protecting you is their way of guarding their heart, the way you guard yours by keeping the people you love safe."

"But… I'm so useless, right now," and Karin wasn't sure if she was even speaking out loud, or just thinking anymore. "If something were to happen, like everyone seems to think it might… I can't help. What if I am targeted? What if someone gets hurt because of me…?"

"What if you got hurt because of someone?"

"That's different!" Karin cried indignantly. "They matter! It would be worth it!"

"And you don't think they'll think the same of you?"

Karin had no response.

"If you were in their position, trying to protect someone close to you, what would be the best thing they could do for you?"

The girl's answer came after a pause, a meek response. "They would listen. They would let me protect them."

"Your father, Hitsugaya-kun, Yoruichi-san, they're not tucking you away in a corner, safe from harm, because they don't trust you. They don't think of you as any of the negative things you seem to think of yourself. They believe in you, Karin-chan. They are giving you the tools to stand on your own. You won't hide behind them forever. But until you're ready, let them be your sword and shield. Enjoy the fact that they love you enough to do this. Appreciate the fact that you mean enough to them. And never forget, you guard their heart, by keeping yourself safe."

"And if it came down to it? Say I master these... tools. So what? What good are they if I can't bring myself to use them? What if people were dying before my eyes? Could I step up to defend? Would I have the strength to fight?"

"Karin-chan, if it came down to protecting your heart, _**we would fight**__."_

**[C]**

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_I'm (always) behind on replying to reviews; I'm especially behind on PMs. If I owe you something, I'll get to it ASAP. I'm so, so grateful to everyone who has supported me this far, and wish I could be better about showing it. Much love to everyone._

_In lieu of school, I cannot guarantee we will have an update next week. I tried to make this chapter a little longer than normal to make up for it. I will do my best to get a chapter out late next week anyway, but priorities are priorities. Though *hints* reviews are great motivation for me to squeeze time out to post another chapter._


	18. Chapter 18

_This is a very short chapter, and for that, I apologize. There was no better way for me to parse chapters. I also apologize for my inability to reply to reviews and PMs in a timely matter. Finals are this week; They conclude on Saturday. I hope that in the days following that I'll have the spare time to respond to all of you. All of you have been so amazing with leaving me thoughtful reviews and messages, it's the least I can do to leave proper, (semi) well formulated responses. And that requires time that I'll hopefully have in the next two weeks.  
_

_Bleach does not belong to me. At the very least, I doubt Kubo Tite ever had to worry about understanding the causes of hydrocephalus. _

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_**[C]**

[**S**]he sat on a cloud, listening to the beat of her heart as the rain eased into nothingness.

She sat even longer, thinking about the people she loved and cared for, realizing that for _them_, she would kill. Because anyone who tried to harm them didn't deserve to live. Because sacrificing a bit of… whatever it was that held her back… It was a small price to pay.

She considered the power she wielded, the power her zanpakutō alluded to, the power she would obtain as she continued to train. She didn't want it; had never wanted to see spirits to begin with. She had never wanted to be different. But given that there was no way around the fact that she was _unique_, she would use what was given to her, hone it.

For them, it would be worth it.

They were worth everything.

She thought of the times past she where she had faced the hollows, of the times she had faced death, of the times she had narrowly escaped her own final demise only because of her brother's strength. She had wished for that same strength then. That ability to protect her friends, to shield her family from harm, to be able to do _something_ other than scream out a warning and struggle futilely against the bone white claws that gripped her.

She remembered the frustration, the agony, the overwhelming helplessness and despair. She considered the secret fear she held, that Yuzu would inadvertently be drawn to trouble and go to her death with a smile, oblivious to why everyone else was screaming at her to _run, damn it, just run!_ She relived the moment when Tōshirō's reiatsu washed over her, strong, but overshadowed by that of the Arrancar. Her heart must have stopped for a moment or two. Everything had narrowed down to him.

Never mind the reasons _why_ he meant so much to her – she knew her zanpakutō would say that was something her brain would fret about – her instincts told her it was right. Her instincts told her to protect him.

After all, he protected her, if not from danger, then from herself.

He understood her moody slums, forgave her heated outburst. He gave her cause to smile, if only because he reminded her so much of herself - brooding, serious, trying to grow up, trying to get things done – that in observing him she learned to remember that she had to live a little, too. He gave her that bit of calm, his presence becoming her personal quiet refuge after a long day. There were no needless words with him, just the care and understanding his eyes conveyed even when his expression betrayed nothing. And that was good, because she had too much sappy emotion and physical contact from her father. Who needed words, when she saw the world in his eyes?

Yes, she would protect him, because he was undeniably good for her heart.

And because that red thread of fate which wove them together demanded it.

The stars were out when she opened her eyes to gaze upon her inner world. And Karin stared.

Not because they were radiant, dazzling, beautiful. But because she saw…

_Was this what her zanpakutō meant by seeing with her heart rather than her eyes? _

…because she saw _infinitely more_.

The stars… they weren't merely stars anymore. Certainly they bore the resemblance of glittering, illuminated diamonds, but with a start Karin instinctively realized that they represented the people in her life. And between each star she could faintly make out shimmering gossamer threads that connected everyone together.

If she reached out and concentrated, she could run her finger tips along the fine strings. She could feel who she was touching, feel them resonate, reverberate…truly touch the _core _of them.

And of course, the delicate red thread was within reach, anchored to the brightest, ice blue star in the night sky. She _saw_, but she _didn't_ _see_, Hitsugaya Tōshirō when she gently brushed the thread. In that moment, she became aware of him, his emotions, his waxing energy, his wintery affiliations. It came as no surprise that she could feel a transfer of energy; a bit of _Tōshirō _seeping into her soul.

Could he feel it too? How she was reaching out and caressing his soul?

And it was every bit as intimate as it sounded, because in that moment, she was able to see past the physical and subjective reality that was constantly twisted by perception and preconceptions. She was seeing the objective and absolute.

There was now clarity in her world. One could attempt to mask or hide or control their reiatsu, but there was no way of utterly extinguishing that signature energy short of death. And while someone could school their features, there was no way to control the delicate fluctuations in reiatsu that could give everything away.

Reluctantly, she turned her attention outwards. Surely, among the infinite mass of stars, there was one which represented her brother; one which could bridge that month of separation…

"And now you see?"

Karin whirled around, and found herself looking at… nothing. There was no more shadow-shrouded figure, no slender form in elegant kimono, no silver marigold pendants or hints of pale skin. Karin was met with dense clouds, a swirling mass of particles that glittered silver and violet under the starlight. But there was an ebb and flow to it, a constant thrum of spiritual energy. And the girl finally recognized it for what it was - her zanpakutō.

The voice was disembodied and ethereal, inhuman and beautiful. It came from all directions, and none. "If I had shown you a face in the beginning, if I had conformed to your human expectations by giving you a physical shape to attach labels to, how much harder would it have been for you to see me… as me? Could you have pushed away the memory of the shape I may have chosen to take and accepted that my true form is formless? Would you have understood the implications of who and what Iam? Or would you have reverted back to that limited human notions of space and matter and mass, and fought to accept my nature? Would you have limit me in your mind to your human terms, even after knowing my true self?"

She wanted to say "Oh course I would have accepted you for what you are," but held her tongue. Karin tried for honesty with herself, and found the answer was no. Even seeing Yoruichi in her cat form had been a tad difficult to handle, but to consider sentience without form? An absolute reality free of physical constraints? If not for the fact that she was currently experiencing it - this virtually out-of-body experience…

"Something's changed, hasn't it?" Karin asked out loud, if not a little hesistantly. "In me?"

"Nothing fundament has changed," her zanpakutō whispered. "You simply see differently, now."

Karin struggled to make sense of the words. "So everyone can see this way?"

"If you know how to look. Everyone could, but will they? Some more easily than others, I would assume. I can't presume to know the hearts of others, only yours. And I know that you can learn to comprehend this reality, because I know who _I am_ and _where I came from_."

Karin was silent for a long time.

"Is this… my power then?" She asked carefully as she considered the conversations with her soul. "To see everyone this way?"

The voice was gentle, "You are able to see this way, because you've always been acutely sensitive to the spiritual world. You could say it is in your nature, that you are predisposed to attain such perception. But no, it is not a power. Alone, it is merely… a tool, a useful skill set. But as it is in your nature to be sensitive to the spiritual, then I, as a part of you, possess that same quality. And as your weapon, I take advantage of your disposition and your attributes. This is not a power, but this helps you begin to understand your power."

Karin's voice was shaky. "And so, your power. It… builds off of this?" She took a deep breath, looked at the sky, saw how far reaching her ability to sense souls suddenly was. Suddenly overwhelmed, she nearly fell off the cloud she was perched on. A wave of dizziness hit her.

"Is your power… Is it…" She found she couldn't finish her sentence, the word "awful" caught in her throat.

"Remember what the boy said? What Yoruichi has told you?" the woman murmured softly. "As a Shinigami, your duty first and foremost is to maintain that balance. Weapons, power… they are tools. Do not fear the tools you have at your disposal. Are they not harmless, if you choose to leave them alone? And aren't even the most seemingly harmless things deadly, if wielded with malicious intent? If you think you're playing god, what does Shinigami mean? _Death God_, Karin-chan. You're not playing, you're fulfilling a prescribed role. You're maintaining a balance. When a person picks up arms, it is to protect. Remember what you're protecting, what you're fighting for. Remember its worth.

"If you must tremble in fear of something, fear human nature and its ability to twist something pure and whole into something ugly and tainted. I suppose that would scare you more, wouldn't it? Not the hollows, not even facing the Arrancar, because for all their seemingly human characteristics, they are no more than a tainted soul. And so, in eliminating them, you're purifying. But it's the possibility of facing someone like Aizen Sōsuke, who would merely be _dead_ were you to kill him, whose death would be akin to raising a hand against the boy, if we were to look at the face value of his soul… That's what is limiting you right now.

"So you wonder, who are you to determine if death is the justified punishment? I can tell you now, Karin-chan: You'll know when you meet the man. You'll know when you learn more about him. And in the years to come, when it comes time for you to face another Aizen Sōsuke, another clean soul that has twisted on its own accord to protect tainted ideals… All this comes down to trusting yourself, knowing yourself, so that when you make the decision, you know it's the right decision. Because you're protecting what you, to the very core of your being, believe to be dear and true and sacred.

"There is no joy in death. It is dark. It is despair. And to kill a person in seeming cold blood might harm your heart. But an injured heart can heal. To have a piece of your heart die is a different matter. Some things will _always_ take precedence over the sorrow in your heart."

"Love," Karin whispered. It seemed the word echoed in the internal night that was her soul.

"Yes, love. Build up your strength, your resolve, to fight to protect. Accept power for its intended use. Nothing more."

"I'll try," the girl said haltingly.

"I won't reveal myself until you are ready, or until it is necessary… although I think for you, the two go hand in hand. Until then, know your heart, remember it, and trust it."

"And trust you?"

There was gentle laughter. "You already trust me, Karin-chan. All that is left is for you to trust yourself."

**[C]**

[**W**]hen Karin opened her eyes, she found herself in Inoue's darkened living room, curled up against one end of the couch. A warm blanket had been thoughtfully tucked about her body but more noticeably, there was the familiar kidō barrier erected around her. She slowly pushed herself into a more upright position and found Tōshirō a few feet away, sitting by an open window and staring at the night sky. He had his phone pressed against his ear.

"No sir," she could hear him saying. "She's still unconscious, but her reiatsu has stabilized even under the barrier. Yes, I understa- arigato, Kurosaki-taichō. I'm simply doing what- I see. No, neither Urahara or Yoruichi saw to inform me of that; I don't believe Karin is aware of that fact. But yes, Yoruichi has mentioned that she shouldn't face any of the problems your son did in becoming recognized. She didn't care to elaborate more than that."

There was a long pause, and Karin watched as the boy shifted in his seat, his shoulders tensing ever so slightly. She considered saying something, to let him know she was awake, but then he spoke up: "I'm sure you would agree, sir." His voice was soft, his voice stiff and halting, but Karin could hear the sincerity in his words. "I suppose I would miss her company, but I would never ask that she choose-" A pause. "Oh. I cannot presume to know how she would react; You underestimate her attachment to- right. I- If you insist. It isn't a hassle at all. Good evening, Kurosaki-taichō."

Karin waited until he had the phone closed, before she spoke up. "Tōshirō?"

He flinched, a slight tightening of his grip around his telephone. He turned a carefully expressionless face towards her, but under the dim moonlight, Karin could see that his eyes were turquoise and soft.

"Hey," he said stiffly and awkwardly.

Karin opted for something casual. "I must have been out of it awhile, huh? Sorry. But thank you for the blanket…"

"You were trembling," he waved it off with a shrug. The gesture was a good attempt at nonchalance, but it was clear that he was rather uncomfortable with admitting to doing something thoughtful.

Karin managed a faint smile. "Arigato, Tōshirō."

He merely inclined his head.

They sat there in silence for a moment, watching each other.

"Are you… ok?" He finally asked.

She couldn't do more than nod, the effort of keeping the smile on her face too much for her to accomplish anything more. She was still feeling overwhelmed and unsettled by her trip inside herself. It seemed as though emotion was threatening to overwhelm her, except she couldn't quite place what the emotion was.

"No," she finally said truthfully. "But I think I will be."

He nodded.

She took a deep breath. "It's not too cold outside, is it? Could we go onto the roof?" Seeing the flicker of hesitation across his face, she added, "I think I have it under control now. We had a good, long talk. She helped me see things a bit clearer. And I'll bring the blanket along, just in case it's cold."

She knew the reason why he hesitated wasn't because of her reiatsu, or out of concern of her health. But it was easier to talk about the weather as an enemy than to bring up the possibility of bone-armored monsters.

It was a moment before he replied. "I don't see why not," he finally allowed. And she saw him brush a hand against his trousers pocket, subtly making sure he had Soul Candy on hand. Just in case.

Despite whatever the spiritual side of things tried to insist, at the end of the day, Hitsugaya Tōshirō barely knew her. The young Shinigami come into her life only three weeks ago. Yet he cared enough to guard her, to take on the role of her guardian and protector, to be personally responsible for her safety and security. If he was acting solely out of a sense of duty or obligation either to her father, or because his zanpakutō insisted so, Karin knew the boy wouldn't have agreed to let her out onto the roof where she was more exposed, vulnerable. If anything, he might have thrown a stronger kidō barrier around her, and kept her locked up overnight – effectively jailing her in and keeping her within easy baby-sitting radius. But in complying with her request, she knew he cared. He was taking her wants and needs into consideration. And it warmed her heart.

Karin yielded, when he offered her his hand in assistance up the roof. She held her tongue when he chose a spot away from the edge, knowing he'd done so in fear of her falling off the roof again. Wordlessly, the two of them settled down on the tiled surface.

With the blanket securely wrapped about her, Karin closed her eye. She took in a deep breath of cool night air, and allowed herself a moment to _feel_ out into the distance. She savored the familiar energy of her family, of the boy next to her, of the Shinigami friends she had come to make. She was startled but pleased when she felt the faintest echo of her brother, somewhere in the further parts of town.

Kurosaki Karin was starting to find her resolve.

The power to heal, power to protect… Yes. Karin decided she could accept that. Hadn't she already determined the worth of her friends, the worth of her families?

But power for the sake of power?

She hoped she destroyed herself, if it came to that.

**[C]**

* * *

_Again, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. It was (as with the previous chapter) extremely hard to write. I think there will be a slight break in the … intensity of the story, next chapter. However, very shortly after we'll be seeing from Karin's eyes the fight with the Espada. And things will probably become very serious, very quickly, again._

_Also, for those of you curious about Karin's zanpakutō, it's finally coming up. I hate to hype things up, because I'm scared to disappoint, but for those who have been curious about the time frame, now you know that the wait is almost over._

_As always, let me know what you think about the chapter._


	19. Chapter 19

_AN: A couple of things to be addressed:_

_Firstly: I'm very sorry. I have been so proud of how accountable I've been with updates these past couple of months, and then it all sort of fell apart in the end, leaving me feeling extremely guilty about it. I would delve into why I was missing, but I doubt you guys care about my life story. However! For the next ten weeks, I'm living (mostly) without internet access, in the middle of a nature reserve. I'm not apologetic for putting my life/school first, however I am extremely sorry for disappearing without notice, for the extremely late updates and the lack of response to all your amazing reviews. I do hope to re-establish a fixed update schedule, but I'm currently still finding my routine out here. Please be patient with me while I settle down in this insect infected place._

_Secondly: This chapter goes out to Lazyguy90 and KazeNoSakura, who helped me iron out the next couple of chapters, scenes, and names. If this chapter reads poorly, it's failure on my part to properly capture all of their lovely suggestions._

_Finally: I do not own Bleach. I highly doubt I'd be dying of itchiness from a trail of bug bites in the middle of nowhere, were I the ever brilliant Tite Kubo. (LOVE the new twist in the Manga, by the way! Especially pleased because I can work this story around most of the canon backplot!)_

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**[C]**

[**D**]espite the awkwardness of saying goodnight to Tōshirō – who insisted Karin sleep on Matsumoto's futon a couple of feet from him as the woman was very likely passed out on the floor of Urahara's candy store until morning – Karin woke up the next morning feeling oddly refreshed. She wasn't at all surprised to find the boy already up, although she had not expected him to prepare breakfast.

The meal itself wasn't entirely typical. It consisted of cut fruit, and a bowl of ramen. Karin surmised the captain had made do with what palatable ingredients were available in Orihime's questionable pantry. But nonetheless, for ramen, it was delicious. And the fruit was sweetly ripe.

She thought it was adorable how he became flustered and indignant when she complimented his culinary skills. Really, Hitsugaya Tōshirō needed to learn how to accept praise.

Yoruichi appeared soon after, a bag of clothes in hand, while Karin was assisting the boy in the after breakfast clean up.

"Eh, Karin-chan," the woman remarked. "Is that Hitsugaya-kun's shirt?"

She had let herself in. How, Karin didn't know, but considering the woman had been raised as heir to the Onmitsukidō legacy before taking command of the elite squad, Karin was sure that a simple door lock and dead bolt were nothing to the princess.

Still, a little warning would have been nice. A knock on the door, perhaps. Anything would have been better than the woman announcing her presence with that perfectly absurd and downright embarrassing question.

The shirt was by no means Tōshirō's, but that didn't save either Karin nor the boy from blushing furiously.

It was all Karin could do to not fling sudsy soap water at Yoruichi. After all, the girl knew that such efforts would be in vain.

Instead, she wiped her hands on the front of the damnedable shirt, and made a grab for the fresh set of clothes her father had sent along.

"Of course it isn't his," Karin hissed as sparkling golden eyes twinkled. She stormed into the bathroom. Even as the water started to run, Karin could still hear the woman's laughter.

The girl gritted her teeth.

Outside, Yoruichi made a comment about how _cute_ of a couple she and Tōshirō made.

Karin cracked the bathroom door open. And flung her shirt at the thoroughly amused woman.

"It says Karin on the inside, damn it!"

Well, at least that helped to stem the laughter. Karin hoped Tōshirō appreciated that much. "Eh, Karin-chan," Yoruichi asked through the door. "Why are you writing your name on the inside of your shirt?"

This time Karin did not answer, knowing that the mystery would keep the woman occupied, at least for the couple of blessed minutes Karin needed for a shower. She was well aware that Tōshirō did not enjoy being in the woman's presence. Much as Shihōin Yoruichi made for an amazing mentor and friend, Karin wholeheartedly shared the 10th division captain's belief that Yoruichi spent far too much time teasing them.

She stepped out of the shower to find Yoruichi standing outside the bathroom door, staring at her expectantly.

"What?" Karin asked. She took a moment, feigning some sort of slow understanding of Yoruichi's expectant look, before answering, "My name is in there 'cause my brother's an idiot."

What Karin meant, was that on days when someone other than Yuzu did the laundry, her clothes tended to end up in her brother's pile. As such, Karin had taken to labeling her clothes to avoid having her brother "accidentally" putting on her shirts and ripping a seam. Plus, it helped when she participated in the summer soccer camps, in case her extra set of clothes became mixed up with someone else's.

But knowing how much Yoruichi loved to tease her brother (because really, Ichigo had some _amazing_ reactions when embarrassed), Karin knew the woman would jump to all sorts of conclusions. That was fine with the girl, as long as Yoruichi targeted someone other than herself. There was _no one_ as relentless as Yoruichi, although she had a sneaking suspicion that Matsumoto was _the_ Queen of Gossip in Soul Society.

"_Really?" _the woman asked. Karin wasn't surprised to see the decidedly diabolical gleam in Yoruichi's eyes. She had a moment to be thankful that her brother had no knowledge of her association with Yoruichi, because when Ichigo returned, he was bound to be out for blood when he realized how many of his embarrassing childhood stories had been leaked.

Tōshirō still needed to take a shower. Karin could see him out of the corner of her eye, eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated the distance between the bedroom door and the bathroom.

On impulse, Karin said, "I don't see what's the big deal about this shirt, though. If you really want embarrassing clothes stories, ask Ichi-nii about the orange dress."

"Oh?" Yoruichi asked, curiosity piqued. The woman followed Karin to the living room, and sat down on the couch next to the girl.

Karin felt, rather than saw, Tōshirō make a beeline for the shower.

"It's not much," Karin said flippantly. "Just that Ichi-nii mistook one of Yuzu's dresses, this orange, to-her-ankles type deal in soft t-shirt material, as one of his shirts. I think he went to the movies with a bunch of friends wearing it."

After the tension of last night, it was nice to hear Yoruichi's laughter. It came easily, and had that infectious, rambunctious edge to it. Karin wished she could laugh as easily as the woman. Then again, from the bits and pieces she had pieced together of Yoruichi, Urahara, and Tessai's history, Karin thought that they deserved to all laugh a little bit more.

For however long it took for Tōshirō to wash up, Karin was able to enjoy "hanging out" with her mentor. Undeniably, regaling her childhood brought to the surface that acute pain she felt at her brother's disappearance, but today it didn't hurt her as badly. Perhaps it was because she had felt him last night. That affirmation that he was doing ok… it helped ease worries she hadn't even realized existed.a

"Yoruichi-san, Kurosaki." Tōshirō's voice brought Karin's attention back to the present. "Are we heading to the shop then? Are there plans for additional training?"

It was amazing how quickly Yoruichi could compose herself and be right back on business. "I was hoping for further training." Golden eyes fell on Karin. "The usual, you know, Karin-chan. I know it's a Sunday, and we usually take a break. But-" she paused, as though considering her words. "-It probably would be a good thing to keep working on stuff. You really need to work on your zanjutsu, and maybe your hohō. You're far ahead than anyone expected with kidō, although Tessai is of the opinion that perhaps we should have you get as advanced as possible with kidō, so that in a worst case scenario, you have _something_ to fall back on."

Something to fall back on. It felt right, that Karin should have something in case she was in an emergency. She nodded tensely, already running over the higher level spells that the bespectacled man had been showing her over the course of the week.

"If that's the case," Tōshirō said, "Could you recommend a place for me to take the others to train? It's time they focused on the upcoming war, the big picture, and not just the sporadic attacks we've had."

Yoruichi regarded the 10th division taichō with a shrewd expression. "That would be wise. Kisuke seems to think something might be happening soon. I can show you a place, if you're not interested in sharing the underground training area. It's not far from where I take Karin-chan, but far enough that you wouldn't accidentally stumble upon us."

"Yoruichi-san," Karin started. "If Urahara-san thinks something's going to happen, does that mean I'm stuck being babysat indefinitely?"

"You should be fine staying with your father. He's just being a little paranoid, right now. He's a dad, with one of his kids already caught up in the thick of the danger. And I think he just wanted to make sure someone could be accountable for each of you, because he can't always be there for both you and Yuzu-chan."

"So I'm... what? Going to be bounced around from Shinigami to Shinigami? Because you know that Yuzu's clueless to all this. She won't understand if Rangiku-san or someone started tagging along with her all day."

The pause before Yoruichi answered did nothing to soothe the anxious, disquieted feeling that had suddenly gripped Karin's stomach. "Well, personally, I think you'll be fine, because there's no reason Aizen or any of the Espada know of your existence. But regardless, we are going to have to be very careful in keeping your presence a secret. And that includes concealing your reiatsu as soon as it starts to spike."

That last statement reminded Karin of the previous night, and the fact that Tōshirō _did_ have to do precisely that. She had a feeling that if the Shinigami continued to be cautious about Arrancar threats, either she or Tōshirō would be doing a lot of sleepovers in the future.

She sighed. "I see," she said in resignation.

"It's not that bad, Karin-chan," the teasing lilt to Yoruichi's voice had both the girl and Tōshirō eyeing her suspiciously. "Think of all the time you'll get to spend with Hitsugaya-kun!"

Karin immediately flushed red. "Shut up!"

**[C]**

[**B**]y late morning, Karin was struggling with her shunpo around the forest clearing, trying to keep the blur of purple hair and brown skin in her sights as she channeled kidō spells. Apparently it wasn't as easy for her to use the higher level spells while chasing a moving target, mostly because (according to Yoruichi), Karin was concentrating too hard on trying to shunpo.

"Karin, focus on my reiatsu. Stop using your eyes!" The woman called, when Karin found herself dizzy and disorientated, for the umpteenth time.

The girl stopped dead in her tracks. "That's it?" She asked incredulously. "You mean I could have just done that to begin with?"

Her mentor put a hand to her waist and frowned at the girl. "You mean you didn't know that to begin with? I figured you just lost track of that, what with trying to combine everything else. You seemed to do fine in the beginning with tracking me."

Karin huffed. "That's because I wasn't moving! And watching you is like… watching a really, really fast soccer ball. I mean, you essentially travel in a straight line, I just had to watch for the blur of your body to see what direction you're headed in, and the rest of it was just paying very close attention to where and when you did those split second stops before changing direction."

"Well then, if you could do so well without feeling for reiatsu, try doing it the proper way now, and see what you can do. Remember, someone could always sneak in from behind. You need to be able to feel that sudden, accelerating energy and _move_. Eyes don't grow on the back of your head, you know."

The girl's response was to stick her tongue out, and shoot off the fastest kidō spell she could use without incantation.

Laughter greeted the girl. "There you go, you nearly got my hair this time!" And the woman was off, again.

"Karin-chan, gather up reiatsu before you even decide to use a spell, that way you only have to concentrate on shaping and using it when the time comes. It will give you an extra second," Tessai called.

_Patience_, Karin thought to herself. _This could be worse. This could be like that stupid soccer camp, where the stupid coach decided that the only way for me to prove a girl was good enough to play amongst boys was if I had the 'heart' to stand up to two weeks of ridicule. Like there aren't easier ways to see if someone's serious about a game._

"Karin! Focus!"

"Gomen, Yoruichi-san."

"Karin-chan, you're losing control of the kidō."

"Gomen, Tessai-san."

At least it was a nice day out. And really, it was weird doing all this running around, but not feeling that kind of burn in her thighs after awhile-

"You're _thinking_ too much, Karin! And not about tagging me." Yoruichi all but appeared in front of Karin, and rapped the girl sharply on the head.

"Gomen, Yoruichi-san," Karin said again, feeling mildly embarrassed because the woman was entirely right. Karin wasn't truly paying attention.

Perhaps something showed on her face, because Yoruichi suddenly said, "Well, what do you say to an early lunch? Maybe by the time we're done, Hitsugaya-kun would be done and he'll stop distracting you."

Karin sputtered. "He's not distracting me! How is he distracting me? He's not even here."

"But you can still _feel him_, can't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"See!"

"Yoruichi-san!"

Sometimes, it was just plain impossible to argue with the woman.

But she could feel Hitsugaya Tōshirō. More notably, as she settled down to eat, she could feel the growing thread of annoyance that was causing his previously stable reiatsu to spike ever so slightly.

It wasn't distracting her, however. She was simply still worried about the events from last night.

She polished off the meal, immensely grateful for the generous portions of food Tessai brought along. With the Shinigami training came an increased appetite, and without the thoughtful lunches the kidō master provided, Karin would have been forced to consume far more than her "normal" portion, something she wasn't ready to account to Yuzu for quite yet.

It helped that the man's cooking was quite good. And Karin had earned brownie points with Tessai when she was able to pick out some of the "special ingredients" he had added to his cooking. The man was extremely impressed that Karin knew that much about food, although really, the girl only knew bits and pieces, and only because Yuzu's favorite cooking programs would often play in the background when they were working on homework at the kitchen table. Still, Tessai's delight at Karin's appreciation of his good meant he put in extra effort to prepare meals that were far too fancy for a bento box, and utterly delicious.

The reiatsu of just about all the Shinigami at the other end of the forest was fluctuating by that point, and if Karin really tried, she could feel the building irritation in the team. She wagered ten minutes at best, before Tōshirō's patience snapped and he sent everyone home for lunch.

But as it turned out, that never happened.

Her train of thought was interrupted by the oddest sensation she had felt yet – a disruption in the latent spirit particles in the air – that had her looking up sharply.

She could only watch as an odd black rip appear in the sky and…

A flurry of movement erupted around her.

"Tessai! Shield!" Yoruichi called, suddenly at full alert. The bento box clutched in the woman's hand fell to the floor.

Both adults were feverishly putting up intricate shields. Karin was still trying to collect her senses, when the reiatsu hit her.

Arrancar.

Her heart skipped a beat as she stared in open mouth horror at the figures stepping out of the rip. She wasn't sure if she ought to be glad, or alarmed, that the Arrancar had their backs to her. Because it meant that they were looking straight at the training Shinigami in the opposite end of the forest.

"Yoruichi-san! Tessai-san!" Karin finally managed to say in a low voice, trying her hardest to keep her alarm in check. "What do we do? Are they after something like yesterday? What's going on?"

There was a distinct edge in Yoruichi's voice. "I don't know what they want. We'd have to wait and see. But they're strong. I'm sure even you can sense that much." She turned to face Karin, made sure the girl was looking right into her eyes before she continued. "Karin-chan. I need you to promise to stay safe. There is a good chance I'll have to get involved – I recognize two of them, and they are Espada. And I wouldn't be surprised if the other two are as well. So I need you to promise to do what Tessai tells you. Stay within the shield; We can't afford to have them try for you-"

The sound of metal against metal had the two of them turning startled eyes to the sky. Karin felt her breath catch as her eyes landed on Tōshirō's form, so seemingly slight in comparison to the large Arrancar he had locked blades with.

"Tōshirō-" the name left her lips before she even registered speaking.

Yoruichi grabbed the girl by the shoulder and spun her, forcing Karin to look into her eyes.

"Karin-chan. Don't make me have Tessai bind you. Stay here. If anything happens, _I promise_ I'll step in. And Kisuke's on his way. I can feel him moving. Everything is going to be fine, but you must stay out of danger."

Karin nodded numbly, unable to tear her eyes away from the sky as the Shinigami mobilized. The two members she recognized as Madarame and Ayasegawa had come up to face the other Arrancar; Matsumoto was cautiously grasping her zanpakutō as she approached the final, crouching Arrancar child. The fourth Arrancar had disappeared from sight. She was vaguely aware of Yoruichi guiding her to sit down and of Tesssai's deep voice as he cast another complex kidō shield to mask their reiatsu and protect from wayward attacks.

Then… _That energy!_

Karin jumped to her feet, only to be yet again forcefully held back by Yoruichi.

"Ichi-nii!" The girl cried, struggling against the bigger woman. "Yoruichi-san! I can feel his reiatsu!" Karin insisted.

The woman nodded. "I guess they've decided to let your brother come out to play. Don't worry, Karin-chan. Ichigo is a very strong Shinigami, well on par with the others, if not better. He can take care of himself. And every single one of his associates are highly trained and dangerous. If they felt he was ready to take this threat on, Ichigo is ready. And I wouldn't doubt they are watching him closely even now. So he is safe, to say the least. You need to get a hold of yourself."

But Karin only shook her head. "And Yuzu? Yuzu and Otou-san. They're ok? There aren't any other Arrancar going after them, right? They said there was a possibility… that everyone with high spiritual power might be a target… Where did that last Arrancar go?" She was slightly hysterical, and she didn't know why. Perhaps it was because of how Yoruichi and Tessai were responding; Both of them were being far too cautious. They hadn't been this worried yesterday… Or perhaps it was simply because the mere presence of these Arran- no, these _Espada_ was suffocating. There was something inherently rotten about their reiatsu that made her stomach recoil.

"What aren't you telling me?" Karin asked. "Yoruichi-san, Tessai-san, what's going on? Why is there so much more worry about these Espada compared to yesterday's…"

"Because they _are_ Espada, Karin-chan. And they are immensely more powerful than the encounter yesterday. This isn't a random invasion; this isn't a result of some twisted social experiment of Aizen's. They are here for a reason. And intention makes them all the more deadly. So save your energy. Because we _will_ need your help to heal in the end."

"Don't let him get hurt," Karin said as she sat back down, feeling sick to her stomach with worry. And she didn't mean her brother.

"I can't promise that, Karin-chan. But I promise I won't let him die."

**[C]**

[**H**]e could only afford the briefest moment to seek Karin out and make sure she was ok. For a moment he couldn't sense her reiatsu. Fear welled up inside him. Then he felt the faintest brush of her familiar energy, recognized that in all likelihood, Tessai and Yoruichi were working to keep her safely masked behind a barrier of kidō concealment spells and shields. The relief washed over him, buoyed his determination to come out of this battle victorious.

Espada. Judging by the reiatsu alone, everyone they were facing were Espada. And once again the degree of power in his opponent was upped. But he would prevail. There were so many counting on him. And then there was Karin.

Hyōrinmaru easily transitioned into his Shikai form, and a blast of ice encased the large Espada before him. But the ice only trapped the man for a split second. Then it shattered away uselessly.

_Even with my limiter released, it looks like I'll need my Bankai to fight the Espada. _Tōshirō frowned.

Ayasegawa was engaged in battle, and already appeared to be at a disadvantage. Kurosaki's reiatsu had appeared, and the huge burst of power that followed suggested that he too was ready to fight. That was good. Now more than ever, they needed the back up.

Then the 6th Espada called out. Tōshirō watched as he reached for his zanpakutō.

_No time to waste. _If they allowed this Espada to release his zanpakutō, Tōshirō wasn't sure if they would be able to take the enemy down.

"You won't get the chance!"

And with that defiant shout, Hitsugaya Tōshirō attacked.

In a sudden, swift motion, he rushed the 6th Espada.

**[C]**

[**S**]he felt her heart skip a beat when-

-He was soaring. He had sprouted _wings._ He was bloody _flying_.

The Espada's voice rang out, a smug, slow drawl that was in stark contrast to the fierce, sharp commands that brought about Tōshirō's release of his zanpakutō_._

"Strangle, Trepadora."

It happened so fast. Karin barely saw the burst of released reiatsu before it knocked Tōshirō back. She tried to scream a warning, felt Yoruichi's hand firmly clamp over her mouth, heard her call for a second aural shield.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō registered the attack from behind in time only in the nick of time. Karin sagged against Yoruichi as she watched Tōshirō get pushed back several tens of feet, with only the icy wings to protect him from the blow.

She heard ice cracking. She could feel his reiatsu waver.

The grating laughter of the Espada echoed. _So much power_, Karin thought. _And so overly confident_.

She had a bad, bad feeling about the fight.

**[C]**

[**I**]t hit her, when he was hit. Not physically, no. But it was as though she was suffocating. The familiar feel of him –which seemed to perpetually surround her, the feeling that she had along the way taken for granted – was suddenly ripped away and she was left gasping as she struggled blindly to regain contact with his reiatsu.

Karin could see him falling, as though in slow motion, shattered pieces of ice glittering in the afternoon sun. And she knew he was badly hurt, because she was badly hurt. Her heart ached. She felt as though it was being ripped to shreds, even as she finally caught trace of the thin, thready pulse of his reiatsu.

If she had been thinking, she would have realized her efforts were in vain. But at that moment, she struggled to hold him together, tried to use her own reiatsu to feed him some energy so he wouldn't burn out. But the layers of intricate kidō barriers, carefully constructed to prevent any part of her reiatsu from leaving the area, fought off her attempts to reach out to him. The raw pulse of reiatsu she tried to send out ricocheted off. It hit her with enough force to knock her breath out.

Karin had never been so close to crying.

Dimly, she could hear Matsumoto's panicked scream. "Taichō!"

There was that sound of something shattering.

Was it more of his icy armor, crumbling?

_Or is it my heart?_ Karin found herself thinking.

And somewhere further, in the distance, Karin thought she heard Yoruichi's voice through layers of fog. "Tessai! The Bakudo! Karin-chan is…"

**[C]**

[**F**]alling.

She was in her inner world, and she was falling. Once again the wind buffeted her, and it felt as though she was being tossed through an endless abyss, constantly falling in all directions.

Karin was surrounded by a multitude of colors. The inky black sky was dotted with vibrant, glittering stars in every color, except pale blue.

_Where is he?_

Funny, how painfully empty the star-studded sky seemed without him in it.

And then- _There! In the corner!_ But almost as soon as she caught sight of it, barely glowing, sputtering out, Karin felt herself get thrown in another direction, and she was once again disorientated.

_Damn the wind!_ She thought in frustration. _Damn the clouds that keep getting in the bloody way!_

When she caught sight of his star again, she twisted her torso hard, struggling to maintain visual despite her inability to control the direction of where she was falling.

The cold air that slammed into her stole her breath away. Her eyes stung and watered. But she could see him now.

She was still falling, but she reached out for his star.

"Tōshirō!"

Had she called his name? Or had she simply thought it? Either way, his name seemed to echo, eerie and haunting, grotesquely distorted by the rushing wind.

_Tōshirō. Hang in there._

She visualized the red string that tied her to him, and thought: _If I could just follow this back to him, maybe I can heal him from inside here, maybe…_

She could feel the stretch in her muscles as she strained to reach him, bit back a scream of frustration as her fingers closed over thin air.

She reached out again, groped in desperation-

-Her hand closed over something cold and hard. The hilt of her zanpakutō.

"Karin-chan," that ethereal voice whispered, before the girl could so much as open her mouth. Under the howl of the wind, Karin was surprised she could hear anything at all. "His life is on the line. Do you think you're ready to save him?"

"Yes!" The girl all but shouted. "It's _T_ō_shir_ō! I _have_ to help him…" Her voice choked up. "Please," she managed to whisper. She felt vulnerable and alone when stripped of her connection with him. And at that moment, more than any other in the three weeks she had spent with him, she realized precisely how _vital_ he was to her.

_If he dies, I'd die with him_, she thought. And it wasn't the fear of death that terrified her, nor was her desire to live what motivated her to save him. It was the heart break that was already seeping into her soul, so utterly distinct; It was heart break reminiscent of all those years ago, when her father had told them their mother was dead - except this time there was no childish naivety to shield her, no pretty talk of angels and halos to soften the blow. This was – and she didn't know it to be possible – worse than the death of her mother, the magnitude of anguish and desolation threatening her sanity, when _he wasn't even dead yet._

Was it because of her link to him?

Did it matter?

She couldn't live without him. She didn't want to. Not like this. Not ever.

"You need to stay strong, Karin-chan, for this to work. You're not ready to use me to my full potential, not yet. But it's the only way we can get to him…"

"Just do it!" Was that a sob, or a scream?

"You have to trust me to guide you. And keep your mind focused on saving him; There is the risk that it'll be too much power, too quickly, for you to handle."

She was crying now, she was sure of it. Because while a furious thunderstorm had broken out in her inner world, only her tears could account for the wet warmth on her cheeks.

"Just do it," she pleaded again.

She felt something stir deep within her, felt the oddest sensation… as though something, or someone, was slipping into her head.

_Trust me, Karin-chan. Let me guide you. Focus all your resolve on what your heart wants._

**[C]**_  
_

[**S**]hihōin Yoruichi had seen it before, not even a full year ago, when she and Kisuke had undertaken the task of training Kurosaki Ichigo. The same frozen look, the same paralyzed body. The same, sudden low dip in reiatsu before-

_-Before that_.

Kurosaki Karin's eyes flew open as her reiatsu exploded, flooding the clearing with purple, shimmering light. The kidō restraints that bound the girl's body dissolved with the blast. The air crackled with energy as the reiatsu slammed into the dome-like shields with such force that _everything_ seemed to shudder.

The initial explosion of strength was strong, but nowhere intense enough to cripple captain level Shinigami. But somehow, contact with the shield amplified the energy. In that moment, Yoruichi only had time to think, _Oh, crap,_ before the rebounding energy slammed into her, nearly forcing her to her knees.

Looking up, Yoruichi caught Tessai's eyes, and was heartened to see how the man was still – if barely - on his feet, despite the effort it must have taken to maintain the barriers battered by the surge of power. A fine sheen of sweat already coated his forehead, but still his eyes were fixed on Karin, lips and hands moving rapidly as he raced to set up the binding blood spell. Damn Kisuke with his almost prophetic predictions. But without Kisuke's warning, Yoruichi doubted Tessai would have been prepared to utilize the spell he was now reciting. If only it wasn't such a complex process; but with how easily the girl broke the bakudo the first time, it was likely only the sacrificial spells would suffice. Yoruichi saw this now. And was eternally grateful that Kisuke was able to think ahead to this moment.

Yoruichi hadn't thought such drastic measures would be necessary, but then again she hadn't accounted for the boy to take so much damage as to set Karin off this way. And the consensus had been to do all it took to keep Kurosaki Karin safe. If it meant use of restricted bakudo, so be it. What was Soul Society going to do to their little group of ex-Shinigami? Bar them from Seireitei _again?_

Granted, they had never had this much trouble restraining Ichigo. But the boy had no concept of the ebb and flow of reishi and reiatsu. By brute force alone it was near impossible for him to rip away the layers of spells conventional spells they could throw at him. Kidō could snare him like a sticky web, clinging onto him and tangling him hopelessly when he struggled.

But they had forgotten how closely Karin had studied the kidō mechanics, how she had delved into that subject with an almost fanatical glee. Time and time again during her training, Karin had demonstrated her talent. And kidō coupled with the novel way she approached problems led to seemingly impossible innovations and applications of spells. It also meant that now, more than ever, her ability to find loopholes in spells and manipulate them for novel purposes made it very, very hard to fully subdue her. That she had managed, in mere seconds, to rip through three layers of restraints that they had erected in the time she had fallen into that comatose state…

They should have listened to Kisuke from the start, and taken that risk of using the restricted blood spells. Because now – and just last night, Yoruichi would have said it was impossible – they were faced with a Karin that they possibly could not control.

And the worst of it was Yoruichi understood her distress, having felt it before with Kisuke. The feeling of having one's heart ripped out of their chest, of having it crushed and ground to pieces… Yoruichi knew that Karin would do everything in her strength to get to Hitsugaya Tōshirō. And that meant there was a good possibility that even the forbidden kidō wouldn't be enough to subdue the girl driven by such desperation. Well then. She would have to brute strength it, if it would help keep Karin safe. At the very least, Yoruichi knew she could physically over power the girl. Yoruichi only hoped she wouldn't exert too much energy in keeping Karin controlled, that she wouldn't be able to jump into the battle, because despite his many talents, Urahara Kisuke was a single man standing up against three extremely powerful Espada.

And also, with Hitsugaya Tōshirō badly injured, the remaining Shinigami in the 6th Espada's clutches barely stood a chance.

_Priorities_, she remind herself grimly. And Karin was essentially top of the list. It had nothing to do with her own attachment to the girl, anymore. It had already been determined by all those convening in the meeting yesterday that Kurosaki Karin was to be kept safe at all costs. Like her brother, she was potential that they couldn't afford to lose. Especially not when she possessed the discipline and maturity her brother lacked in dealing with adversity. But potential for greatness was meaningless if she was dead.

Yoruichi made to approach Karin, and that sudden movement had the girl turning to her.

For the first time in over a century, Shihōin Yoruichi stumbled mid flash step. Because she could see the aura that hovered around the girl, the metallic purple shimmer sinking into her body.

Because the eyes that stared at her were no longer Karin's eyes.

Yoruichi could only think, _Oh, shit._

Then Karin's lips parted, even as she reached for the zanpakutō sheathed behind her back. She drew the sword out in a single, fluid motion, and grasped the hilt with a confidence that the real Karin lacked. Sunlight reflected off the surface of the blade.

Karin's lips parted, but it was a musically dissonant voice that filled the clearing.

"_Hikaru, Iroazayaka Hoshikuzu_*."

The sword shimmered, seemed to turn opalescent. But Yoruichi wasn't really looking at the blade. She found herself captivated by those violet, alien eyes that seemed to hold something ancient and primal beneath the surface. Eyes that looked at her, and seemed to look _through_ her into her very core. It seemed as though those eyes were speaking to her, as though _daring_ her to interfere with this crucial moment.

A moment later, Tessai's spell landed.

The blood binding spell, the complex technique that was guaranteed to cripple Kurosaki Karin's reiatsu from the inside out, latched onto the girl's form. Red tendrils of energy started to sink into her body, seeking out the inner core of spiritual energy.

But those alien, ancient eyes continued to hold Yoruichi. And there was that hauntingly lilt of a voice coming out of Karin's mouth.

"It's too late." She all but sang.

The zanpakutō still clutched in the girl's hands was abruptly swung downwards.

In a single fluid motion the metal cut through skin and muscle and bone. Yoruichi could only stare as she watched that… _thing_ that possessed Karin sink the full length of the blade straight through the girl's heart.

_What is this?_ She thought in horror. Her mind raced as she tried to drag up the bits and pieces of information about soul connections she and Kisuke had gathered over the years. Never had she heard of this… suicidal behavior in response to the other person's dying. But then again, she couldn't think of a single instance where there was only a sole survivor in such pairings.

Still, the grief couldn't be that overwhelming as to drive Karin to such extremes, especially considering the fact that Hitsugya Tōshirō wasn't actually dead. And if anything, Yoruichi would have expected this sort of behavior from a zanpakutō such as Benehime, with her predilection for such… sacrifices. But Karin's sword? The girl had build up such an amazing rapport with her zanpakutō. Or was this a rare case of a zanpakutō taking the opportunity of it's wielder's weakness to go rogue?

The hands grasping the sword fell to the side.

Kurosaki Karin stood in the middle of the clearing, the opalescent hilt centered through her chest.

The hilt shimmered, and dissolved into nothingness. And with a sudden, turbulent gust, it seemed as though every single latent spirit particle was being sucked _towards_ Karin…

"Bankai!"

The form that was once Kurosaki Karin disintegrated entirely.

**[C]**

* * *

*_Shine, Radiant Stardust._

_AN: Catalyst started out as a single image – that which is presented in the very last sentence of this chapter. I know all of this has been a very long time in coming, and I thank all of you for supporting me up through now._

_I have no doubt that there will be many questions and concerns about the upcoming chapters, and how I intend to develop the rest of this story. Without spoiling what is coming next, I will say that I have spent tedious amounts of time laboring over these chapters, carefully going over all the details of Karin and her zanpakutō's abilities, and where she stands in the scheme of things. While I am not perfect, I have had two people semi-beta this story and given me copious amounts of feedback. I have also devoted a good two months to polishing up the next couple of scenes._

_I will admit up front that things that may not fully add up with the mechanics of Bleach universe as we know it thus far. However, I personally feel that I've been very thorough with every facet of what is about to be explored (even if it's not story relevant and not going to be presented/mentioned/discussed at any point in Catalyst, I have planned out just about all the aspects of Karin's abilities with her zanpakutō, if only so I can guarantee continuity if I were to write a sequel, and also to ensure that Karin remains a "balanced" character from the get go) and have made a very conscious attempt at keeping the story as "realistic" as it can be, for a Bleach story._

_If there was a ever a time where I would ask for a little faith in my writing, and give me a bit of "artistic license", it would be now. It will take me a couple of chapters to fully present the full picture and justify the "path" I have taken with this story. While this is a longer chapter, I'm sure you can see we're far from done. A lot more is happening, and from a story writing perspective, it is hard to tie up all the loose ends that might currently be dangling, because it'll derail the action. I'm very conscious of what has yet to be said, and do plan on saying a ton more, but only when the time is right within the story. The answers will come as the story progresses._

_Also, the concept of a sacrificial form of kidō based on blood is something that I suppose was influenced in part by my umpteenth re-read of Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Trilogy. But mostly, it stems from watching Urahara in action with Benehime, and wondering about whether there existed some form of blood-based kidō. I'm not quite sure how novel this concept is, because I have a sneaking suspicion I read something similar once upon a time, but I swear I'm not intentionally trying to steal someone's idea, and am working on this independently to shape it to work with my alternate world. I'm already making some tentative outlines for stories and other plot concepts I'd like to work on once Catalyst concludes. I like this alternate storyline I've brought together so far, and I think expanding this universe a tad bit beyond what we have been exposed to thus far in canon might be fun. So we'll see what happens :)_

_Remember: I am always open to comments and questions. I love hearing from you guys – you are what inspires me to keep writing. So keep the feedback coming, and thank you so very much for all the support._

_Once again, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, at least. Let me know!_

_With all my Love,_

_Etiena_


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Life happened. School, an injured right hand, a dead hard drive, graduation, a bad flu, and a visit from family. I'm terribly sorry. I never dreamt it would take this long to finish a chapter._

_This chapter is dedicated to my two beta readers, Lazyguy06 and Nack289. They've done nothing but give me incredible support and feedback; sloppy writing and grammatical errors are all my fault. I uploaded this chapter without hearing back from them on the final draft, since I badly wanted this posted. Sorry._

_I can't figure out what happened that resulted in missing section breakers for all chapters. I'm in the process of fixing that now.  
_

_Bleach and all the amazingness associated with it belong to Kubo Tite. I'm just playing pretend with his genius._

_

* * *

_

**[C]_  
_**

**Previously in _Catalyst_…**

_She reached out again, groped in desperation-_

_-Her hand closed over something cold and hard. The hilt of her zanpakutō._

_"Karin-chan," that ethereal voice whispered before the girl could so much as open her mouth. Under the howl of the wind, Karin was surprised she could hear anything at all. "His life is on the line. Do you think you're ready to save him?"_

_"Yes!" The girl all but shouted. "It's __T__ō__shir__ō! I __have__ to help him…" Her voice choked up. "Please," she managed to whisper. _

_She couldn't live without him. She didn't want to. Not like this. Not ever._

_"You need to stay strong, Karin-chan, for this to work. You're not ready to use me to my full potential, not yet. But it's the only way we can get to him…"_

_"Just do it," she pleaded again._

_She felt something stir deep within her, felt the oddest sensation… as though something, or someone, was slipping into her head._

Trust me, Karin-chan. Let me guide you. Focus all your resolve on what your heart wants….

**[C]**

[**H**]er eyes flew open.

Immediately, she was hit by an explosion of sunshine. The change startled her, and Karin could do nothing more than gape as the world swam back into view. Dimly in the back of her head, she realized she wasn't able to move. It took a heartbeat more for her to register the implications…

But she had to get to Tōshirō!

"Do you trust me, Karin-chan?" her zanpakutō asked.

What kind of question was that? Of course the answer was "yes." And if only her zanpakutō would help her figure out why she couldn't move, or couldn't see…

"Patience," was the only reply. "Just focus on him."

As though she wasn't already acutely aware of him. Or rather, acutely aware of the fact that she _wasn't_ aware of him.

_Tōshirō. Where are you? Where am I?_

Was she still in her inner world? But she could smell the earth, feel the soft afternoon breeze, the heat of the sun. _What is going on?_ It was so hard for her to make sense of her surroundings, especially when she was literally glued to the spot. All she could see was a shifting haze of color, and it felt as though she was drowning in a rainbow of despair when a glacial blue was all she really wanted…

"Now!" It was her zanpakutō, but the ethereal voice now had the commanding force of a thunderstorm behind it.

And with that voice came the reiatsu.

Karin knew it came from within her, having vaguely registered how that piece of her soul had so finely manipulated her energy. But more immediately, she recognized the wash of silvery energy that flooded the area before her as her own. It was only then, half-mesmerized and dumbstruck by the explosion of colors, did she realize what was happening.

She wasn't seeing… no. This was exactly like her inner world. It wasn't shifting color, nor some visual distortion. She was seeing reishi super imposed over everything that breathed life, everything that was charged with living energy.

It was one thing to see it in her inner world, in the abstract. But to see the _living_ world…

And with that sudden understanding, Karin was able to piece things together; how the iridescent particles floating in the air made up the latent reishi in the air, how the softly throbbing green haze was that which breathed life into the trees, how the subtle pink and yellow hued barrier was none other than the layers of kidō erected by Tessai. How she could see the lingering electric green that was, if anything, his signature color. And how, as her reiatsu rushed at the shield, her metallic purple seemed to spread out and meld _with_ the shield. For a moment, nothing happened and all she saw was the purple intermingling, growing brighter.

Then the shields were ripped to shreds in an awful surge of power as the very particles which held them together fell apart.

There was no escaping the tidal wave of reiatsu recoiling from the breached barrier, so all Karin could do was stand her ground. The force of the energy slamming into her made her breath catch. However, it wasn't pain that met her but an adrenaline rush of electricity shooting down her veins. It came as a surprise to her that she was still standing at the end of it, but better yet was the realization that she now had the freedom of movement once again.

Turning her head to scan her surroundings, she could now see beyond the gaping shields into the endless green haze that marked the forest before her. She could see the small orbs of color that represented the animals that lived in the habitat, could even see the festering taint of Espada reiatsu leeching into the purity of the forest before her.

But still, there was no sign of icy blue. Her heart wrenched. Karin made to run in the direction in which she had seen Hitsugaya Tōshirō fall. But out of the corner of her eye she saw Yoruichi approaching, golden eyes hard with determination, moving fast.

_She's going to stop me,_ Karin this was _Shihōin Yoruichi. _There was no way Karin could stand against-

"Us." The voice in her head was grim with determination. "She is standing against _us_. It makes a world of difference, Karin-chan."

If the girl had only a moment to think, she would have realizing how uncharacteristic it was for her to yield so easily to her sword. Although perhaps if she had a second more, she would have reflected on the precise nature of the relationship she held with her sword and realized precisely how strong a bond had been forged. But in that moment, she could only think of the word that now echoed in her mind. Trust.

_So what do I do? _She asked internally.

"Stop seeing with your eyes." The sharpness of the voice in her head reminded Karin for the umpteenth time how important time was.

Her lips set into a firm line as she tried to feel beyond what her eyes could see. What was it her zanpakutō had said? Something like… how now more than ever, she would have to listen to her heart?

"Hold onto the memory of him," her zanpakutō added a moment later, softer, more gently this time.

Never mind that Yoruichi was coming _at_ her. Never mind that she could hear Tessai chanting something obscenely complex…

_Tōshirō_. She thought of blue-green eyes and white-blonde hair, constant frowns and barely-disguised smiles. She thought of glacial blue reiatsu and its cool but inviting touch.

She felt her arms move, realizing her zanpakutōwas undoubtedly manipulating her body. But Kurosaki Karin did not care. It allowed her to forget the physical and focus on her mental task, clinging onto the memory of one Hitsugaya Tōshirō, searching for even a hint of him…

There!

She could see her connection to him now, a fading red ribbon stretching across the forest bathed in green haze. And through that forest, Karin could sense the rapidly cycling, ever weakening pulse of his reiatsu. _How much damage did he take to exhaust himself just trying to stay alive?_ It was an awful thought. Never had she so badly wanted to be with him, with anyone. If only she could help fix what was broken-

It was only then that she registered the textured fabric of her sword's hilt in her hands. The fluid motion of unsheathing her sword - even the way her hand gripped the weapon – felt alien, yet oddly natural.

_Yield_, she reminded herself. _Trust Zanpakut_ō-_sama. _

Karin could hear Tessai in the background, rapidly reciting line after line of complex incantation. She could see Yoruichi, about to make a move-

"_Hikaru_, _Iroazayaka Hoshikuzu_." It was her lips that moved, but the haunting voice of her zanpakutō calling out.

_So this is my Shikai?_

The blade glittered like diamonds under sunlight. The tsuka under her palms was cool to the touch, smooth. But she didn't have time to take in the changes because her breath was suddenly stolen by the pulse of red energy that hit her. She could see it hovering around her, leeching onto her, sinking under her skin. Karin had never seen the spell before, but from how sluggish it made her feel, she knew it could only be bad.

It appeared that her zanpakutō realized the same, because there was that voice again, speaking out loud to the two adults guarding her: "It's too late."

There was no warning. Against her will, Karin felt her wrists rotate. With a single, fluid motion, the sword rushed forward, piercing right through her chest.

_What?_ She had time to think.

But there was no pain. No blood. Just a vague, warm, tingling sensation that was seeping outwards from her core.

"Bankai. Akarui Hoshikuzu. Shingan.*"

And the world faded away.

**[C]**

[**S**]he was suddenly blind, yet the world had never been more vivid.

Unlike earlier, where she could perceive shifting clouds of reiatsu superimposed over physical objects, she was now aware of a fluctuating dust of color against a midnight landscape. The world was a dark abyss, quite like her soul. What were once people, once Shinigami, once objects - she could now _feel _their distinct essences, notice even the slightest flux in spiritual energy. For a moment, the girl thought she would become lost in the overload of information.

"There was no other way," Hoshikuzu's voice seemed to echo across the darkness, "to purge the blood kidō. It takes too much effort to remain in this state, especially when you're not ready for such control. So be quick! Find the boy!"

_But how?_ Karin could no longer feel her body. She was disorientated; it felt as though she was everywhere and nowhere, stretched across the infinite landscape. She was, and the concept gave her a headache, nothing more than a smattering of purple reishi in the nebula of living color.

In her head, she could feel her zanpakutō's silent exasperation, before her attention was directed to how she was supposed to reach out into infinity and look…

The exercise was mentally exhausting and wholly terrifying as she willed herself in all directions, searching the field of reishi for the familiar icy blue. Although there wasn't truly any _sound_ in this world, she could all but hear the heart beats of every living creature around her and the sighs of their breath. There was no way for her to drown out the malicious intent of the Espada that contaminated the air, so she could only try to avoid brushing against the tainted souls.

Perhaps it was practice. Perhaps she was simply more perceptive. But the moment she brushed against what could only be Hitsugaya Tōshirō, she was able to hold on. Instinct took over, perhaps guided by her zanpakutō.

_Get to him. Help him. Heal him. Because he can't die. He isn't allowed to die. We won't be able to survive if- no!_ She wouldn't allow herself to think about it. He was right there and she was drawing ever closer. She could feel him, and soon it would be all right…

Karin no longer had any notion of space and time. There were no physical obstacles in this new form of hers; It was a total out of body experience. It was simply a matter of, as her zanpakutō tersely put it, bringing _all of herself_ towards _him. _

The effort to _transport_ herself by his side left her head spinning. Hoshikuzu hadn't been kidding when she said that Karin was not ready for this… power, this ability. It was too much, too soon. Channeling all this power was _hard_, and dear god did she hurt. But Karin shoved all thoughts of that aside. Instead, she did what her zanpakutō suggested. She kept her mind on Tōshirō, on him being alive. She needed that motivation to see this through. She couldn't risk him…

No. She would prevail. She had lost enough in her young life and wasn't about to lose yet another person her heart clearly loved.

A vision of brilliant turquoise eyes surfaced in Karin's mind, helping to cement the visual of both her body and his materialized.

_I'm coming_.

**[C]**

[**H**]e drifted in and out of consciousness.

The first time he woke, it was painfully brief, his thoughts jumbled by pain as he struggled to piece together what happened…

He remembered the fight as he attempted to take on not one, but _two_ Espada in that moment of desperation… and pride. He remembered the painful effort to keep Hyōrinmaru intact as he blocked the swift attack from the 6th Espada, and how he felt his soul shattering as his wings were broken. How he was falling…

And now he found himself suffocating on agony, barely able to see out of his rapidly swelling eye. He couldn't turn his head to look, but merely from the lifelessness in the hilt clutched in his hand, Tōshirō knew his zanpakutō had shattered. Hot, viscous blood was pooling under his body and he could feel the sticky mat of hair clinging to his cheek. But he couldn't move, couldn't feel his legs anymore. His attempt to draw a breath felt like a million daggers cutting into his chest.

Above him, as his vision faded, he could see the abomination of arms flailing about like a demented carnival ride. He could see Matsumoto's brilliant hair, gleaming deceptively under the sun, the fabric of Ayasegawa's uniform fluttering gently in the oblivious breeze. The sun was out and the sky was a brilliant, misleading blue. It was such a perfectly tragic day.

The last thing he remembered was a veil of purple haze distorting his vision, layering everything in a beautiful, violet glow. It reminded him of one Kurosaki Karin, the girl that he hoped with all his heart would remain safe.

_Gomenesai, Karin._

Pain and darkness swiftly took over.

**[C]**

[**K**]arin fell awkwardly into a wayward bush. Surely no more than a moment had passed while she was in that… transitory state, but the sudden restriction, the dense weight of her body had her struggling to stand. And no sooner did she find her feet that she felt her knees buckle. She never registered how the unforgiving brambles of the bush she braced herself against tore into her skin. Because the girl was fixated on the mangled body mere inches to her right.

Tōshirō.

_Broken, so badly broken. _The words echoed in her head as she stared numbly. His head was flung to one side, eyes closed, one side of his face swollen and purple, the other covered by white-blonde hair matted crimson with blood. And there was his chest with its all-too-visible protrusion of broken ribs, the clearly broken forearm and the leg that was twisted in the wrong direction.

_How am I- _The horror of the sight left her unable to think. Years of working under her father to triage patients involved in head-on vehicular collisions, violent assaults, hit-and-run accidents, and yet not a single ounce of medical know-how came to her.

Was it even possible to fix this? Healing kidō didn't penetrate that far down into the body. And at the very least she would have to set bones. And regardless, she would need to perform some kind of surgery because of the internal organs that were undoubtedly damaged; she needed physical contact for anything fine tuned.

But she had to try with what she knew, with what she had. He couldn't die! Not when she was right here! Not when she could still feel him, see him. She somehow brought herself to him, hovered her hands over him, probing with the gentlest of touches to ascertain the extent of all that damage.

But there was too much. He was in a state not unlike a pedestrian run over by a speeding car, broken bones and ruptured organs barely contained in a shell of skin. She knew it was a miracle that he was still alive, but she was unsure of where to start, what to do-

"Karin!" It was a shout that she barely heard over the deafening pulse of her heartbeat. "Karin-chan!"

_Not now,_ she thought irritably. Never mind that it was Hoshikuzu commanding her attention. Couldn't the spirit tell that Tōshirō was hurt?

"Karin-chan, let me help!"

_Oh. _"But, how?" She asked, hoping that there was a quick fix, a magic wand her zanpakutō could produce that would make this right, something that could just reverse time-

The only reply was an exasperated sigh, a weary, "Oh, Karin-chan, don't give up on me now."

Karin flushed. They had made it this far, hadn't they? Getting past Yoruichi and Tessai, using mind-boggling Shinigami artistry. They still had time, and the captain of the 10th division was certainly still alive. It wasn't too late; they still had a fighting chance…

"Tell me-"

"Open your mind."

What else could she do? Wordlessly, Karin yielded and prayed.

It felt like her life was flashing before her eyes as her zanpakutō riffled through her memories. Blood, bone, guts... she saw every patient she had assisted with since she took on the role of nurse at the tender age of seven. But did she know enough to fix… this?

Apparently so, because as abruptly as her mental flashback began, it stopped.

Her sword materialized in her hand.

"Wha-"

It was all that managed to leave Karin's lips before she felt the edge of the blade cut into her palm of her left hand. The pain was instantaneous, a searing heat that was exacerbated as she smeared the surface of the once pristine blade with the dark red fluid flowing freely from the wound.

Then the blade swung up, and Karin found she couldn't fight her body. She stared in open-mouthed horror as she felt her zanpakutō sink into the boy's body.

Karin stumbled, falling to her knees beside him, one hand still wrapped around the traitorous blade. A curious heat was taking over her body, but all she could think was, "_No, no, no, no!"_

"Really, Karin-chan, that you have so little faith with me in the end," she heard Hoshikuzu's voice in the distance.

The heat was spreading down her hand, seeping into her blade…

Hitsugaya Tōshirō's body was bathed in a haze of violet…

She felt herself being stretched… being pulled… all her strength draining into her sword… and she was being sucked down into the metal and blood…

And the world faded once again.

**[C]**

[**T**]he second time he awoke, it was to the lingering of feel of electricity rushing through his veins. The pain was still there under the sensation, but for that brief moment he savored the sweet, tingling numbness that swept through him, giving him the slightest of reprieve.

With effort, Tōshirō mustered the energy to tuck his chin down, and managed to squint through what was left of his eye to what was left of his body. Not that he could recognize it.

If he had been merely a spectator, Hitsugaya Tōshirō might very well have become sick from what he saw. But seeing how he was the one in the battered state…

He merely closed his eyes in resignation.

So this is what happened, when one was unable to channel reiatsu. He should have known that. After all, he had seen how fragile humans were. He had taken for granted how his reiatsu could buffer blows and break falls. But Hyōrinmaru had shattered with the sudden, fierce assault by the Espada and he himself was so completely drained… The blow from the Espada wouldn't have killed him despite the damage it inflicted. It shouldn't have, if he hadn't passed out, allowing his body to respond to the immediate threat of broken bones, depleting his reserve of reiryoku as he plummeted to the ground. But because his zanpakutō had broken, because he was completely drained, he was helpless against the impact of the fall, his body tempered with _not enough_ of _anything_ to save him.

How far had he fallen? How had it not killed him?

Not that it mattered. He was dying, anyway. Even the strongest of wills couldn't help him in this state anymore.

The tingling was gone, slowly being replaced by a growing heaviness. He felt as though he was losing touch of his body, as though he was slowly fading away, piece by piece. All he could hear now was his heart and its sluggish beats. All he could see was purple.

And all he could feel… was Kurosaki Karin.

He had to be hallucinating to feel her presence so strongly. After all, hadn't he looked but a moment ago and there was no sign of her whatsoever? Not that he wanted her with him. Not now, not in this state. It wasn't the shame of his defeat that had him hoping her far, far from him. It was the simple, intense desire for her safety.

He hoped Shihōin Yoruichi was keeping her safe. If there was one person, one single soul that he could save, it would be Kurosaki Karin.

Pity that death god he might be, he didn't have the ability to grant the final wishes of the dead.

The heaviness of his body seemed to be seeping into his mind, slowing down his thoughts, clouding his ability to think.

_Perhaps… this is what death feels like_, he thought dimly. _When in these last few minutes, the pain gets eased and you die thinking the person you love is keeping watch over you._

That was enough for him to give into the blessed numbness.

**[C]**

[**I**]f she could have thrown up, she probably would have. Instead, the searing pain that ripped through her body, if she could still call it that, was a white hot fire that simply left her screaming in that endless darkness.

In the back of her head, Hoshikuzu's voice was a frantic whisper, "Karin-chan, the boy!"

Not that she needed reminding. But clearing her mind of the pain took more effort than she had ever known. Fighting the dizzying, disorientating feeling of losing her body required was a herculean feat.

_But he's worth it,_ Karin repeated to herself fiercely in her mind. _Just have to make this all better, and then I can sleep._

She could make out his reiatsu, a dense cluster shaped like his body. The inconsistency of the reishi, the lackluster color, the blatant gaps of nothing where reiatsu should be animating…

Thank goodness for Hoshikuzu. Thank goodness that her spirit was able to guide her past the stumbling block in her mind, past the all-too-human doubt that threatened her ability hope.

Every gesture hurt; every effort an uphill struggle. But she would never forgive herself if she gave up now, and Kurosaki Karin was nothing if not strong-willed.

In her diffuse state, she was able to get into the core of his body, manipulating the very particles that constituted his person to do so. The medical training kicked in, more likely than not due to her zanpakutō's guidance, and Karin found herself in triage mode, careful to keep herself focused on only one thing at a time, if only to fight off the despair and horror she felt at the grotesque extent of his mangled body.

First, the central nervous system. There was the subdural hematoma, and the bleeding in his brain that was building pressure up in his skull. Then were the impacted fractures and slipped disks, not to mention the damaged spinal nerves that no longer innervated his lower limbs. Thankfully, none of his organs were damaged badly, although the circulation to his liver had been greatly reduced. The shattered ribs were preventing his lungs from expanding fully, and then there was the shattered shoulder, the spiral fracture along the forearm, the…

Karin stopped even thinking in those terms, straining now to simply pour energy into the healing, too stressed to think beyond _heal!_ She had no clue how she was accomplishing all this, only that she was aided by his body's innate desire to heal, as though his personal defenses recognized her for who she was and yielded to her ministrations unerringly. She was vaguely aware that to do what she was doing, she was drawing on everything around her, from the latent reishi surrounding them, but largely from her own waning core to heal him.

_Just a little bit more_, she promised herself. _Just until everything inside is fixed…_

She could only hope she had more than just willpower to help her accomplish that.

**[C]**

[**T**]he third time he woke, he was very much alive.

Alive and suspended inches above the ground in a flickering violet orb. It felt as though he was swimming in the feel of Karin, and there wasn't an ounce of pain.

_What the hell?_ Was his first thought. _How did she… No. Wait. Where is she?_

He struggled to sit up but found that he couldn't. Looking from side to side, he realized he was alone in the middle of the forest.

Had she come and gone? Had she done what she could and left- No. That didn't make sense to him. There was no way Kurosaki Karin, brilliantly skilled at kidō though she might be, could have managed to heal his body and especially not without contact. And never had he heard of such complete healing. So what the hell was going on?

"Karin?" His voice was hoarse from lack of use, but miraculously there was no pain.

There was no reply.

He raised a hand, and was about to press up against the wall surrounding him when there was a sudden pulse of purple. His head spun with the sudden rush of reiatsu that filled him up...

No, there was no way in hell Kurosaki Karin could be maintaining this shield without being present. Not if she was directly channeling her reiatsu to rejuvenate his.

"Karin?" He tried again. He didn't dare speak louder, all too aware of the Espada that still dominated the skies.

But the orb trembled in response. He felt his body lurch as the energy sustaining it wavered.

This time, when he tumbled to the ground, it was a mere inch onto blessedly soft grass.

Then from the remains of the purple orb, Kurosaki Karin materialized.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō thought his heart would stop, as he watched her tumble, bloodied and unconscious, onto the ground beside him.

**[C]**

[**S**]he was so tired. It was so tempting to just give into the desire to sleep, but she wasn't done. The last of the internal damage was healed, but he was defenseless without any reiatsu, and the last thing she wanted was for him to be a sitting duck…

No, no.

It was all she could do to focus on the feel of Tōshirō. Any moment now, she knew she would have to stop, because she could feel her own mind slipping under the pain and exhaustion, and a gut feeling told her that if she were to get lost in this particulate state, that she wouldn't ever be able to come back out.

In the distance, she could hear her zanpakutō's voice, faint and strained.

"Karin-chan, we need to stop. Your body can't handle-"

_Bloody… body. No… idly stand by… worth it… everything…_

For a moment, there was silence. Then, in a soft, sighing voice, Hoshikuzu said, "I understand."

She felt, rather than heard, the final question Hoshikuzu was the easiest decision in the world to make. So the girl took what was offered, thankful beyond words for how completely her zanpakutō understood her heart.

_Him. Choose… all… him._

It felt as though the final threads holding herself together were violently ripped apart as she funneled that last burst of energy Hoshikuzu offered into the well of Tōshirō's soul. She heard the sound of something shattering.

For the second time, she fell through the awful transition back into the material world.

**[C]**

_[**T**]his has to be a nightmare_, he thought. _I must have died, and landed myself in some awful hell-like transition... No!_

He couldn't allow that to happen. After all this… he may have failed his subordinates but he refused to believe that all was lost. He scrambled to his feet and pulled the girl onto his lap.

"Karin?" He tried to shake her. "Karin!"

She was dead weight in his arms, and he could not tell if she was breathing. Her uniform was stained with blood and dirt, although he had no idea whether it was hers or his. The thought that she had died, that she had somehow given _her_ energy such that _he_ could live… he didn't deserve such sacrifice. He prayed with everything he had that he was wrong.

But then how could he explain the full recovery and the lifeless girl in his arm? How did she… just when he… What was going on?

_Think, damn it!_

He spread an open palm over her, probing as gently as possible. Karin had next to no reiryoku left and was not emitting any reiatsu whatsoever; a mere droplet of energy barely sustained her body. But she was alive. She just needed time to recover…

But how had she managed it? He was next to dead. He _knew_ that.

"Hitsugaya-kun!"

The sharp bark had him turning sharply around, and he found himself face to face with Yoruichi.

"What happened?" The woman demanded none-too-gently. She fell to her knees, running her hands over Karin's Shinigami uniform, checking the girl over once again for injuries. A large gash in Karin's left palm that Tōshirō hadn't noticed earlier left Yoruichi's hands smeared in blood. There was a pause before Yoruichi asked, "What happened?"

There was something in the woman's voice that put Tōshirō on edge.

"I don't know," he said shortly. He fixed the woman with a stoic glare as he pulled Karin in closer to him. "But at the very least, I'm going to try and heal some of her-"

"Don't."

Tōshirō stared at Yoruichi.

"Don't heal her, let me." She said, softer this time. Yoruichi drew a deep breath and looked at Tōshirō meaningfully. "Whatever happened… she obviously did it for you. She would kill me if she found out I let you exhaust yourself…" her voice trailed off, and she shook her head, as though clearing her thoughts. With a wry, if not slightly forced, smile, she added "At least… I know I'd kick Kisuke's ass if he wasted all my efforts on him."

Not knowing what else to say, Tōshirō could only manage a simple, "I see."

Wordlessly, Yoruichi reached out, hands glowing in a soft yellow as she held it over Karin's heart. Tōshirō didn't dare breathe. He simply watched with bated breath, hoping beyond hope that she would-

"Tōshi…"

The relief that washed over him left him momentarily breathless.

"Karin!"

"Karin-chan!"

Her dark eyes fluttered open. The smile on her face was strained but definitely genuine.

"Tōshirō," she said, "Yoruichi-san. You're both ok. Thank goodness." Her eyes started to droop close.

An edge of panic crept in and Tōshirō found himself gripping onto her. "No, Karin. Don't sleep. Wake up."

"Huh?" Her voice was heavy with exhaustion. "I'm so glad you're ok now," she mumbled.

Did she even remember saying that a moment ago? What was wrong with her? How was she-

"Karin-chan." Yoruichi said sharply, "You need to stay awake. Do you understand me?"

"Gomen, Yoruichi-san. I'm just so tired…" Karin let out a shuddering sigh. "Hoshikuzu said I could slee-"

Her eyes flew open.

"Oh no," the girl said. She struggled to sit up. "Where is she? Where is-"

There was a pregnant pause as her eyes fell onto the sword next to them, the blade shattered into several fragments. Tōshirō didn't fail to notice that not far from Karin's zanpakutō lay Hyōrinmaru, now perfectly intact.

"Oh well," Karin mumbled, as she sank back into Tōshirō's arms. "It was worth it… She said so…"

_She? _Tōshirō turned to Yoruichi, who seemed to be following the girl's thoughts.

"Her zanpakutō," Yoruichi elaborated in a half-whisper to the boy.

_But_... Tōshirō blinked. _Did Karin awaken her zanpakutō?_

"I'll explain more later," Yoruichi said to him. "Or perhaps Karin-chan can." Then, turning to Karin, the woman reached out and held onto the girl's hand. "Karin-chan, your zanpakutō will recover. Both of you will recover. You're just exhausted because you've used too much reiatsu."

Karin managed a slight nod. "Can I sleep now?" She asked in an uncharacteristically plaintive voice. "I'm just tired."

"Go to sleep," Yoruichi said gently. Then, looking at Tōshirō again, Yoruichi added, "Tessai will be here shortly to look after Karin-chan."

The shrill of a firework sounded, and it was only then that Tōshirō registered the fight continuing above him.

_Matsumoto!_

How could he have forgotten? He had been so caught up with Karin that he had failed to notice the clash of zanpakutō overhead… He watched as the severed tentacle grasping his lieutenant fell uselessly aside, cleanly cut away by one Urahara Kisuke.

"Take care of Karin-chan until Tessai comes," Yoruichi said briskly, as a second shrill firework sounded. "I need to-"

An explosion rang out.

"Damn it," She cursed. Her eyes bore into Tōshirō's. "We will handle the Espada," she said. "Just wait for Tessai. I need to be wi- You know what I mean-"

There was a second explosion. All Tōshirō heard was a muffled curse. The former second division captain was gone even as Urahara Kisuke's body plummeted towards the ground below.

The commotion was enough to wake Karin up again.

"Tōshirō?" She blinked, obviously trying to wipe off the lethargy that was pulling her down. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing", he wanted to say. But he knew she wouldn't believe him, with how intently her suddenly-sharp eyes were fixed on the sky.

"Urahara Kisuke's fighting the Espada," he finally said. "Shihōin Yoruichi just left to aid him."

"Oh," was all the girl said. She bit down on her lower lip, her eyebrows knitted into a deep frown. "I know that Yoruichi-san and Urahara-san are amazing, but it doesn't look-" She averted her eyes. "Things aren't going well, are they?"

He couldn't lie to her. "I'm afraid not."

Karin struggled to sit up and it pained him that she could only do it with his help. What had she done to heal him? What had she sacrificed for him?

She muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like an expletive. "I can't save everyone," she said out loud. There was a weight to her words, a painfully perceptive look on her face.

"No one can," he said, hating the fact that it was true. After all, there he was, miraculously alive yet idly sitting, leaving the fate of his subordinates in the hands of others.

She nodded quietly.

Overhead, the laughter of the 6th Esapda sounded over the explosions.

Tōshirō steeled himself as he watched his second in command easily recaptured by monstrous arms. _Damn it_! He cursed. But he couldn't leave Karin. He couldn't repay her by putting himself out there to be killed… Maybe if Tessai was present… no. He couldn't just abandon her-

"Tōshirō," Karin's voice interrupted his thoughts. "I understand." She took a deep breath. "Go," she said with force. Her eyes held his with a fierce intensity. "I understand. I can't keep you from facing danger. But I will be there if you fall."

His heart wrenched as the girl tried to pry herself from his arms. Mutely, he allowed her to settle onto the ground beside him. "Just be careful, ok?" Her expression softened ever so slightly. "I fixed everything, but none of the healing is reinforced."

It was only then that he managed to find his voice. "Karin-" he started.

"Hitsugaya Taichō, go fulfill your duties!" Despite the teasing lilt in her voice, there was a gravity to her words. And she was right. He did want to jump back into the fray. He wanted to help. It simply wasn't his nature to sit back and watch, weakened body be damned.

_Be a captain,_ he reminded himself sternly. _Deal with the emotions later._

He steeled his voice. "What do I need to know about the condition I'm in?" He asked as neutrally as possible.

The girl recovered quickly from her apologetic wince. "Several broken bones had to be set and healed," she said briskly. "As usual, the site of each break will be weak. I don't recall how well muscles function post healing, but you had torn quite a few. And I'm sure you've realized you're low on reiatsu."

_Not as low was I was earlier_, he thought. He had to swallow back the "Thank you" leaving his lips. Now wasn't the time for gratitude and sentimental notions. Instead, he nodded.

Wordlessly, he retrieved the two blades that lay on the floor. Hyōrinmaru was a familiar hum of energy under his palm, and just the feel of his zanpakutō served to invigorate him further. As for Karin's zanpakutō… despite how badly shattered it was, there lay a faint _something_ that was sweetly familiar under the surface. Karin merely returned his nod as she accepted the broken blade, her own face hardened with determination as she grasped the sword with bloodied hands.

A rustle of leaves had them both turning to see Tessai approach.

_It is time, then,_ Tōshirō thought to himself. He nodded respectfully as Tessai began inspecting Karin, who appeared to have lost her second wind and was finally giving into the exhaustion.

"Tōshirō?" Karin called as he turned to face the Espada, "Remember to be careful. And kick ass."

For her sake, he managed the slightest of smiles. "I'll try," he said. He spared a glance at the sky. The sight of the Espada making a mockery of his subordinates only strengthened his resolve. "Don't worry. I have a plan. If I do this right, I won't even have to get close to him."

"Kidō?"

He shook his head. "No, Hyōrinmaru."

**[C]**

* * *

*Luminous Stardust. Heart's prayer.

_A/N: Karin's stereotyped personality is not meant to dominate in this chapter. This isn't a time for her to play hero. Karin is out of her element. She's in over her head. And in my opinion she's damn well made the best of a sticky situation. We've seen how keenly she responds to threats against her loved ones. We've also seen her cry, and yield to exhaustion. I can't imagine this being much different. _

_And there you have it. Chapter 20. Two months late. I'm so terribly sorry. For what it's worth, I'm writing as fast as I can to churn out the rest of the story. I just got to make sure it's not utter rubbish before I update, again._

_To all of you who cared enough to send me a PM asking if I was ok: Thank you so much for your concern. _

_Much love to you all._


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: I said Sunday, and it's technically 11pm where I'm at… so this counts, right? I realize I actually forgot to reply to a good half the reviews I received, and usually I would knock them out before I post this, but I am on a deadline here! But to all of you that reviewed… You know I love you, and that even if I'm pathetic at replying, I'll get to it eventually, right? Anyway…_

_Happy-almost-belated Independence Day, to all you US folks. I felt like such a dork, when I heard the first firework go off, and found myself reminded of Urahara Kisuke's Benehime. _

_This chapter goes out to MarginalMary, who spent hours with me to editing this chapter, sharing awesome advice and attempting to teach me what a preposition was. And for helping me get into Urahara's head in preparation of the next chapter.  
_

_Bleach doesn't belong to me. If it did, canon wouldn't be going the way it currently is. How the heck am I supposed to make my story canon compliant now? And what's with the unresolved Matsumoto Gin thing? Srsly._

_This chapter is a companion to the anime episodes 140-142._

**[C]**

[**T**]he pressure was on, especially now that he had the added weight of Karin's sacrifice on his shoulders. Tōshirō was painfully aware that he had a job to do – to kick the Espada's ass – and he had only one shot to do it right. If he messed up...

Karin had done an amazing job, but even the miracle she performed was no substitute for the extensive healing which only came with time. The last thing he wanted was to take another direct hit… and waste all of her effort. He was acutely aware that he was in no form to withstand _any_ sort of counter attack.

_She had the right assessment of my condition_, he thought. He felt weak despite the ability to function fully. There was an ache deep in his bones that was starting to radiate. And while he knew it was a simple matter of funneling reiatsu to stem the pain, Tōshirō was loathe to waste any of that energy. After all, none of that reiatsu was really his; he was running on borrowed energy. And who knew how much reiatsu he really had or how much he would really need to get the job done – and done right?

He needed the element of surprise, and for that…

_Time,_ he thought. _I need time to set this up right._

Above him, the 6th Espada dithered, making egocentric and taunting remarks. The tedium worked in Tōshirō's favor; he had never been so grateful for the pointless minutes these Arrancar seemed to waste in idle talk before battle.

"Bankai," he murmured. It took more self-control than he had expected to dampen his reiatsu even with the reiatsu limiter stemming the flow. He was eternally relieved that the Espada took no notice of his flashbulb of energy. The sensation of the icy wings surrounding his body was like a comforting blanket. The reservoir of energy his zanpakutō provided took the edge off Tōshirō's lethargy. Thank goodness for Hyōrinmaru. Thank goodness his sword was able to revive itself with moisture in the air…

Tōshirō was careful to stay hidden within the forest greenery as he set up the attack. He hoped that the Espada wouldn't move. But then again, judging by the Espada's arrogance, Tōshirō doubted the Espada would think it necessary to move a single inch from where he currently stood.

_Just a little bit more_.

Tōshirō's head snapped up when he heard the Espada address Matsumoto.

_Damn it! _He cursed. His preparations weren't complete, but he couldn't allow Matsumoto to get hurt.  
Then Matsumoto opened her mouth.

Perhaps Matsumoto felt it when he released Hyōrinmaru, and was stalling for time. Perhaps she was simply stalling because she could. After all... she just… she did like to talk. But regardless, those extra moments were a life saver. He laid the last of the groundwork.

And just in time, because he was able to intercept the Espada before Matsumoto was attacked. The Espada's overconfidence cost him; he had completely let his guard down. It was the easiest thing for Tōshirō to have his zanpakutō release a blast of ice that trapped the Espada's free tentacles. With grim satifaction, Tōshirō watched a specter of fear flicker into the Espada's purple eyes as the black haired boy realized what a costly error his arrogance had been.

_Good,_ Tōshirō thought. _Keep the opponent startled. Maintain a veneer of cool confidence, keep the Espada guessing. Don't give the enemy any hope, don't let him think about striking me. Don't let him figure out how weak I still am._

"For only landing one hit on your opponent," Tōshirō stated with signature coolness, "you're far too relaxed. Haven't you ever heard of following through?"

Clearly surprised, thrown off rhythm, the Espada could only stammer, "You're still alive?"

Tōshirō knew more time for enough water vapor to saturate the air… He needed to keep the enemy distracted. He was cautiously pleased of the Espada's response. _Very good._ Tōshirō thought. _Fear will weaken him. Fear is the mind killer._

"Hyōrinmaru is the most powerful ice-based sword. As long as there is water nearby, it can repair itself no matter how many times it's broken apart." The sight of the Karakura river below them further emphasized the resources he had at his command, strengthening his attack on the Espada's confidence.

And speaking of water… Tōshirō could feel the critical point reached, that perfect amount of saturation in the air imperative to achieve his ends.

"There's no way you can win now," Tōshirō said, gaze fixed on his opponent. He could feel all eyes on him and struggled not to let any concern he felt for their safety show on his face. He wondered if they had noticed the irony of his statement as he himself had nearly died because he had underestimated his opponent. He sincerely hoped no. After all, he was a captain! He couldn't afford for them to see how he might have made mistakes, couldn't afford for them to suspect weaknesses… Or that all he was doing now was posturing.

He channeled a pulse of reiatsu into the hilt of his zanpakutō, and watched intently as the pillars formed. "You left me alone for way too long," he said heartlessly. The Espada was shaking now, seemingly transfixed. For all of the Espada's conceit, he was a wreck when faced with adversity. There were a million things the Espada could have done, including tossing the Shinigami in his arms aside to attack Tōshirō before the prison was fully erected. But fear had shackled the Espada's mind too tightly. Fear had rendered the Espada - a creature of terror, despair, a living nightmare - utterly useless. "Your weapon may have eight arms, but mine has all the water in the atmosphere."

Tōshirō took a breath, fighting to keep his expression impassive as he inspected the configuration rising from the ground. Everything was spaced out just so. None of the Shinigami would become trapped within the prison of ice. Good.

"Sennen Hyōrō."

The pillars slammed together, and the Espada screamed. The arms holding the other Shinigami shattered simultaneously.

And that was one battle won.

**[C]**

[**A**]fter the negacion abruptly ended the battle, it was easy enough for Tōshirō to send Madarame and Ayasegawa away with Urahara to be checked over for injuries. Matsumoto, however, insisted on staying by his side. Together with his fukutaichō, Tōshirō was finally able to return to Karin.

She was fast asleep, a tiny thing cradled in Tessai's arms.

It was easy enough for Tōshirō to take Karin from the man's arms. It was far harder for him to hide his smile, especially in front of Matsumoto, when the girl woke up enough to murmur, "I knew you'd be ok. "

"Taichō," Matsumoto said in an uncharacteristically solemn voice as soon as Tessai took off into the skies, "You really do care about her, don't you?"

He lifted his eyes up to meet hers. And after a moment's hesitation, decided for the truth.  
"Yes."

"I can tell," she said with a soft smile. "Tell her thank you when she wakes up, will you?"

He was taken aback by the request. Not knowing what to say, he opted for silence.

Matsumoto forged on, "Before you even hit the ground, I felt your reiatsu sputter out. And that usually means... Anyway, at first I thought I was only imagining it when I felt Karin-chan's reiatsu brush by. But then, I noticed that your reiatsu was stabilizing. So… I don't know how she did it, but I know she healed you up. And that's how you were able to come back for us. So, tell her "thank you" for me. Because without her, I wouldn't be standing here right now and neither would Ikkaku or Yumichika."

"But most importantly," the woman stressed, "She saved one of the most important people in my life. I would do it myself… but… this might sound weird, but I rather not be sappy around more people than I have to be."

She gave him a look that he had learned was usually followed by lots of hugging, smothering, and tears. "I'm glad you have someone who loves you as much as she does, Taichō. I'll see you back at the shōten."

And she left him standing in the forest, a sleeping Kurosaki Karin carefully cradled in his arms.

"I know what you mean," he said quietly. "I'm glad I have her too."

**[C]**

[**A**] reiatsu-loss-induced-coma.

Because of him.

It hurt just to think about it.

Of course, she was going to be just fine. Physically, she wasn't hurt at all. At least, not in her Shinigami body. But following Urahara's all-too-cheery diagnosis, he asked for Karin to be "returned to her human form" because the living body would replenish her reiryoku faster.

And as soon as they had her safely back inside her skin…

The body replenished her spiritual store, all right. It was horrifying, watching how she literally withered right before his eyes. That perfectly healthy body reducing to skin and bones as every last bit of energy was converted into spiritual life force. Technically… she was still _okay_. And would be "aesthetically pleasing" – in the words of Urahara Kisuke – after a night or so of "fattening up".

After Tessai finished setting up the intravenous drip of nutrients laced with a reiryoku supplement, Tōshirō finally left Karin's side to join the others down in the basement. There was nothing else he could do for the girl now but wait until she woke up. And in the meantime, duty called. He had subordinates to look after.

Not that he knew why he bothered. The scene in the training area was not unlike what he anticipated.  
Tessai, who had entered the basement right after him, made an immediate beeline for Madarame.

"That hurts!" The bald man screeched.

Tōshirō sighed as Ururu grabbed the man in a headlock.

"Ikkaku!" Ayasegawa screamed. He was covered in bandages from head to toe, and being leashed by the trailing ends of the white fabric. "Damn it!" He cursed as he struggled fruitlessly to save his friend.

"Oh, jeez," Tōshirō muttered. All the screaming was giving him a headache. "They get so worked up no matter where they are."

It was then that he noticed a second figure step onto one of the cliffs next to him.

_Urahara Kisuke, _Tōshirō registered with a frown. _I hardly know anything about this man. But… He's been thinking about something ever since the Arrancar vanished. _

The thought troubled him, and unsure of what to make of it right that moment, he turned his attention back to his surbodinates. _Either way, for having fought so many Espada, we're lucky that this is all the damage we took. We were careless. They've already finished their preparations. We've got to work harder on our own preparations for the next battle. But just how long will it take us before we're fully prepared? _

_Which reminds me…_

He turned. "Matsumoto!"

The woman started. "Yes!"

"Have you been able to contact soul society yet?"

"Well…" she said. He could hear the faint hiss of static from the communication device clutched in her hand. That was all the answer he needed.

He nodded curtly, silent as Matsumoto left to be looked over by Tessai.

So communication was blocked… and Urahara Kisuke was lost in thought. None of it boded well for Tōshirō.

And the words of the Espada…

"The mission…" But as far as he saw, they hadn't done more than shake his team up. Tōshirō could only assume something had been happening on the sidelines, much like the previous encounter with the Espada. But the question was... _what_?

Tōshirō watched as Shihōin Yoruichi approached Urahara and whispered something to him. God, how the boy wished he understood the mysterious shop keeper better. If only he could read the expression on the man's face… or if only the man bothered to share his theories….

Tōshirō shook his head, and turned his attention back towards the training ground. Both Madarame and Ayasegawa had lost the fight and were now wrapped head to toe in stifling bandages. Tōshirō couldn't help but frown as he watched his normally bouncy lieutenant do nothing more than shrug off the men's bitter complaints at how she was bandage free.

Matsumoto's words drifted into his mind again.

_"Tell her thank you…"_

_Is that what her melancholy was about? Karin? _Hitsugaya Tōshirō frowned. He needed to get out of the store, needed fresh air, a moment to clear his head, figure things out.

Both Urahara and Yoruichi had disappeared somewhere. After Tōshirō sorted his thoughts out, he would look to them for more answers.

**[C]**

[**S**]itting on the roof by himself… was odd, he decided. Very odd. Mere weeks ago he would have welcomed the solitude, but now… funny how quickly he had fallen into the habit of having Karin nearby. The boy sighed.

He stretched out across the tiles, glad that no one was there to watch him cringe in the darkness. Dear god but his body hurt all over. It was a deep ache radiating from deep within his bones, one he was sure would stay with him for weeks to come. If he had been a patient of the 4th division, Tōshirō knew that he would be pulled from active duty immediately and confined to bed even after all that Karin had done.

At the very least, he supposed he should have approached the former kidō corps captain for a once-over. Tōshirō was acutely aware of how low his reiryoku had dropped over the past hour attempting to quell the pain and reinforce all that brittle bone…

No matter. He wasn't about to bother Tessai now, especially when he was tending to Karin. Tōshirō made a mental note to grab dinner as soon as he had a chance. The food would help replenish some of what he had lost.

The sound of someone climbing the roof caused him to sit up a little too quickly. He cursed mentally, gritting his teeth and fighting back a hiss of pain threatening to escape his lips.

"Hitsugaya-kun?" It was Yoruichi.

"Yes?" He was immediately alert, already climbing to his feet. There was little reason for the woman to personally seek him out. Unless it was something important.

"We just heard back from Ririn. Kurosaki Isshin has been fully briefed on what happened, and Kurosaki Yuzu's memory has been wiped – she has no recollection of you or Matsumoto. Ririn and Noba are securely settled in the twin's room, and Cloud is doing what he does best. Rukia just showed up with Ichigo; it appears she had some difficulty bringing him back from the people he has been training with… but they have a good kidō master. Kurosaki's been patched up as best as possible. I don't have all the details of what happened on his end, but I believe Kuchiki Rukia will be stopping by later this evening to report in. We'll find out more then."

"Good," he said quietly. Silence hung in the air for a moment too long as Yoruichi stood there waiting for him to ask the question on the tip of his tongue.

_Oh, what the hell. Of all the people who would understand the situation I am in, she is probably the best person to talk to right now._

He spoke. "How is she doing?"

"You know, Hitsugaya-kun, it isn't your fault," the woman said.

"I know," Tōshirō said. And he did know - he knew Karin had acted willingly; there was no fault involved. But it didn't change the fact that he was sick to his stomach with worry. It didn't change the fact something had altered his relationship with Kurosaki Karin irreversibly. They had passed a point of no return, and he wasn't quite sure what that meant for him. And more importantly, what it meant for Karin.

"It was too soon," he said.

And Yoruichi understood precisely what he meant. "There is never a perfect moment," she said wisely. "Who are we to say when is appropriate for a person to grow up? But all things considered, Karin-chan is very lucky." There was a wistfulness in the woman's voice that reminded Tōshirō of the fact that she had had a tumultuous past.

He nodded, uncomfortable with the emotions laid bare, uncomfortable with the fact that both Shihōin Yoruichi and Urahara Kisuke could see right through to his heart. He hated how weak emotions made him, damn it all! If only he could wrap himself in ice, distance himself from all this… _feeling._

But…

Hitsugaya Tōshirō took one final look at the night sky – cloudy, not a star in sight – and made his decision.

"Could... I ask a favor?" He couldn't meet her eyes, and his voice sounded odd to his ears, low, almost husky. "Tell me about it. What happened?"

For a moment, Yoruichi merely regarded him with unreadable eyes. Then she sighed and settled down on the rooftop.

After a second's hesitation, Tōshirō settled beside her.

"Kisuke obviously understands this better than me, and I'm sure he is looking forward to talking your ear off on this matter. But here's the bare bones, which, I suppose, is what you care more about at the moment.

"After the Espada appeared, Karin became increasingly distraught. In hindsight, it was probably our – Tessai and I , that is - our fault for not preparing her for it. All she saw, all she sensed was our worry, which was compounded by the caution from last night. And especially when Ichigo appeared, Karin was beside herself with worry for her family.

"Then you fell, and Karin… You know how tightly bound the two of you are, how she has this intuitive sense of your well being. She immediately picked up on how badly you were hurt. And that was enough for her to spiral down into her soul."

"Are you saying that any physical damage I take… will hurt her?"

"Not the actual injuries, no. At least from what Kisuke and I know and have experienced, one person's injuries does not affect the other person. But – and you said this yourself – you came dangerously close to death. And Karin's zanpakutō was able to recognize that your death would have done irreparable things to her. Her heart and mind."

Despite how he innately gravitated towards Kurosaki Karin, despite his conceptual understanding of how intimate a bond between souls was, it was still so immensely difficult for him to wrap his mind around the fact that the girl could care as much as she did for him. He, himself, had come to quiet terms with the affinity he felt for her, understood that if the reverse had happened, he would have done everything in his power to save her. But when was the last time someone had truly sacrificed for him? Who, of all the people he had ever known, considered his life worthwhile above all else?

And how could he not love Kurosaki Karin after all she had done?

Fate had a way of orchestrating things to fit her grand design.

_One final question_, he promised himself. Because Yoruichi already had seen him in this vulnerable position, and because the answer to the question wasn't one he could obtain from anyone but her. "What was she like?"

Here, the former leader of the Onmitsukidō turned and looked him dead in the eye. "Terrifying. Beautiful. Formidable. Elegant. She was amazing – she will become stunning."

He wished he had seen it, then reminded himself that he would see it one day – Kurosaki Karin in all her Shinigami glory. He wasn't quite able to keep the wistfulness out of his voice, when he replied, "Was there ever any doubt of that?"

**[C]**

[**H**]e was quiet throughout Kuchiki Rukia's report. He was quiet as she voiced her concern over Inoue Orihime's absence. But as soon as the girl slipped out of the room, Tōshirō turned to Urahara.

"Why?" He demanded. "Why didn't you tell her about Inoue Orihime?"

The blasted fan that the shop keeper was so fond of was snapped open, only to be snatched out of his hands by Yoruichi.

"Kisuke," she said warningly, "Now isn't the time, really."

"But Yoruichi-san," the man whined. Tōshirō watched with mild interest as Urahara wilted a little under the woman's glare. "Ok, ok. Serious business. I get it."

Urahara leaned forward across the table, all his attention directed on the 10th division captain.

"I didn't say anything because there isn't anything to say. Or rather, there's nothing we can do. It's been over six hours since Orihime-chan would have entered the senkai gate. Her absence indicates to me one of two things: that she didn't enter the gate, or she never made it out.

"But from Rukia-chan's account, the Gotei 13 were serious about sending Inoue through. I can only assume someone personally saw her to the senkai gate, quite likely Ukitake-taichō. Which means something must have happened to Inoue while she was travelling between the worlds."

There was only one logical thing that could have happened. "Espada," Tōshirō supplied tonelessly as the pieces fell into place.

"Yes, yes. Of course, you would understand. And it makes sense, no? How easy would it be to snatch poor Orihime-chan up while she is travelling through the parsing world? And of course they wouldn't spare more than a couple of unranked Shinigami to escort her, if at all...

"The spectral interference we're experiencing is out of the ordinary. Normal interference wouldn't mess up my equipment, but it has. So the question then is: What is _currently_ happening? Communications have been cut off from Soul Society for a reason. Aizen wants to delay the discovery of Orihime's disappearance. Why? What difference would it make whether we know now or how ever long later? Does he require Orihime's powers within a certain time period? Does he need to use her before we can effectively stop him – and her?"

"So you see, Hitsugaya-taichō, letting Kuchiki Rukia know what we know would only upset her further. She would do something stupid – perhaps, run off to try finding the girl. And you and I both know that wouldn't end well. I propose we wait while I try to bypass the communication jam, and see if any of us can think of something - anything - we can do short of running into Hueco Mundo blindly."

Tōshirō sat back, head spinning. Granted, it all made _sense_, but… what _could_ Aizen want with the girl? Did Aizen know something that Soul Society didn't? Tōshirō had a sneaking suspicion that despite all Urahara Kisuke was letting on, there was plenty more that he was _not_ saying.

_Damn it all! Now is not the time for lies and omissions. _Tōshirō understood that Urahara had a complicated relationship with Soul Society, but why the _hell_ did the top ranking Shinigami always resort to petty fights? _Old men and their pointless_ _arguments. It never gets us anywhere_.

He looked at Urahara. "I'm guessing there's information you'd like me to withhold?"

There was a gleam in the man's eye. "Why, yes, yes, yes," Urahara said. Tōshirō could all but see the gears turning in the man's head; the expression on his face was nothing short of calculating. "Of course you shouldn't mention Karin-chan."

Tōshirō merely raised an eyebrow. "A given," he said mildly. "Is that all?"

"Ahhh, Hitsugaya-taichō, what else would there be to hide?"

_It's a test,_ Tōshirō realized. _He has an ulterior motive, and so far has been in the position to coax me into playing his game. But that last question I asked… He thinks I'm catching onto something, even if I don't think I truly have. He's trying to figure out how much I understand, have inferred with his direction – he's seeing me in a different light. And that… that can work to my favor, as long as I can maintain that impression…_

Tōshirō searched for an appropriate question. "The communication channels aren't secure, are they?"

"There's the possibility."

"Then we can't let them know we know."

"Most careful of you, Hitsugaya-taichō. So what would you propose?"

There was a barely contained smugness to the man's demeanor. It took all of Tōshirō's self control to maintain his own indifference. "I know nothing of Inoue Orihime's disappearance."

**[C]**

[**W**]hen the spectral interference finally ended, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, the captain of the 10th division left Yoruichi keeping watch over Karin while he made his report.

He kept it short, his to-the-point recap dutifully recorded by some nameless drone within the 1st division. The captain felt no remorse in omitting the facts – he made no mention of Karin's involvement or his subsequent injuries. Neither did he breathe a word of Inoue Orihime's absence. There would be time for him to file a report to the captain-commander personally._ And I'll leave the situation with Karin alone for the time being… Shih__ōin had said she had a plan about that matter…_

The nameless Shinigami before him finally looked up from the notepad he was scribbling on.

"Hitsugaya-taichō," the Shinigami said, "one last question. Have you heard from the human girl, Inoue Orihime?"

"No," Tōshirō said with utter disinterest. "I understood her to still be in soul society."

The Shinigami on the other side of the screen merely made another notation, face giving nothing away. "Arigato, Hitsugaya-taichō," he said a moment later. "The sōtaichō would like to speak with all Shinigami personnel in two hours. He specifically requests that the substitute Shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo, be present for the meeting. Also, any and all communication and sightings of the human girl are to be reported immediately."

"Understood," Tōshirō said. The screen on his handheld device went blank.

He made his way to Urahara, if only because etiquette required him to thank the host. Tōshirō knew what a meeting with all Shinigami personnel signified. Afte all, Aizen was quite likely done with preparations for Karakura town. The next move he made would most likely take place when he was ready to create the King's Key. And certainly Tōshirō's small team of Shinigami – even at full strength – wouldn't stand a chance against what Aizen would bring to the table.

A meeting with all Shinigami personnel meant they were scheduled for a senkaimon home.

He knocked on Urahara's door but didn't wait for an answer before letting himself in. Undoubtedly, Urahara would be expecting his presence. Tōshirō had no illusions of the man's ability to eavesdrop on any conversation within his store.

"I know you know," Tōshirō said, interrupting the singsong "Hitsugaya-kun~!" to get straight to the point. Two hours was a very limited amount of time to mobilize his subordinates. To top it off, the boy was sick and tired of games. He wanted information.

Everything about Urahara Kisuke cooled. "Of course you do," he murmured, shaking his head. "Alright."

"We leave in two hours."

There was a pause but no contradiction. Then, Urahara Kisuke removed his hat and truly _looked_ at him.

"Before we discuss that, there is something you need to know. We just picked up two identical signals right before the interference ended; alone, they're nothing but gibberish. But these signals correspond to an earlier pattern that - by my estimates - coincide with the opening of the Gargantas.

"Whoever created the interference was pretty brilliant – they managed to hijack all spectral signaling and force an encryption over it. But now that I know what that particular sequence represents, I'm in the process of decoding the encryption and retracing any and all transmissions over that spectral wavelength. If Aizen was using the communication jam to do something behind the scenes, my equipment should pick it up."

Tōshirō frowned. "So, someone very recently entered and left the world of the living."

The man smiled. "The question is: who?"

Somehow, Tōshirō knew the answer, even if he couldn't understand the motivations behind the incident. "The human girl," he supplied.

"She was very likely accompanied, and the entry into this world was very short and to the point. Aizen may have had her fetch something, although I've already confirmed that everyone within or related to the Kurosaki family has been accounted for. He may have had her enter simply to lay a trap."

"A trap… how? And why didn't any of us sense her reiatsu if she has been in Karakura Town?"

"A reiatsu-dampening device, no doubt. Those aren't too hard to create. And the most likely trap I can think of is a psychological one. Friends are one of Ichigo's strengths… and a glaring weakness. If anything is to happen to Orihime-chan, Kurosaki Ichigo will react without pause."

"But Kurosaki is only a boy!"

"Ah, but you forget he is also the only captain-level Shinigami who isn't susceptible to Aizen's Kyōka Suigetsu."

And suddenly, Hitsugaya Tōshirō understood the significance of the obnoxious, reckless, undisciplined teenager.

"Of course," he said. He didn't bother mentioning that Kurosaki Karin had just as much potential as her brother. Urahara Kisuke had probably seen that from the start. Training her… was that for her own protection or to serve some hidden purpose? Surely they weren't using her as a desperate last attempt against Aizen Sōsuke?

_No, they wouldn't. At least Shihōin wouldn't allow it._ Tōshirō may not truly understand Urahara, whose agendas were still beyond his comprehension, but he had seen the way Yoruichi watched Kurosaki Karin, and knew he could trust the woman.

"Before you leave, Hitsugaya-kun, one last thing. Report to the 4th as soon as you return to Soul Society."

"I will," Tōshirō said. He knew that this was the first step in establishing the safety of his relationship with Kurosaki Karin; Unohana Retsu would surely notice his altered reiatsu. He also knew that whatever the 4th found would make its way back to the man sitting before him. And judging by the way Urahara Kisuke had been eying Karin, it was evident that Urahara was burning to know precisely what Karin had done to him, for him.

_So be it_, Tōshirō thought dismissively. _When Karin wakes up, he'll have the whole story from her anyway_.

"Arigato for your hospitality," Tōshirō said all-too-politely. Then, he made to leave.

"You're welcome, Hitsugaya-kun. And one more thing-"

Tōshirō turned to look at Urahara Kisuke.

And the man merely smiled. "Don't worry about contacting us once you leave," he said. "We'll come looking for _you_."

**[C]**

[**I**]t took doing, but the Shinigami were gathered in Inoue Orihime's room on time, save for Kurosaki Ichigo. Tōshirō hadn't had time to brief his surbodinates, beyond a terse mention that they were not to speak of anything related to Inoue Orihime without his say so. And now he was at Kurosaki Ichigo's window, where the boy was marveling over his healed hand.

"It's mostly likely Inoue Orihime's doing," Tōshirō said as he caught the faint residue of reiatsu. He could tell from the look in Kurosaki's eyes that he had made the right assessment. Tōshirō changed the subject. "Now, come with me Kurosaki. This is urgent."

It was a short distance to Inoue's apartment when shunpo was employed, leaving but a moment of time for Tōshirō to gather his thoughts. Undoubtedly, Inoue Orihime was now in the custody of the Espada and Aizen. So why had she returned to Kurosaki Ichigo's side? And why hadn't she tried to get help? What was their motivation in having the girl leave such a significant calling card?

If only he had someone to puzzle it over with, even if that person was Urahara Kisuke…

Kuchiki Rukia was struggling to keep her emotions in check as they stepped into the tiny living area.

"Rukia," Ichigo breathed as he caught sight of her. "Why are we all meeting here?" He wanted to know. "Where's Inoue?

"She's…" Rukia started.

"Have you taken care of the spectral interference yet?" Tōshirō asked Matsumoto, speaking over the distraught Shinigami. Now was not the time for Kurosaki Ichigo to panic.

The screen came on, and Ukitake appeared. It was all Tōshirō could do to keep his lips firmly pressed together, as Inoue Orihime's disappearance was officially confirmed.

Thankfully, none of his team members said anything, although he felt them chill, retreating into that emotionless place within them where duty superseded all else. Tōshirō was pleased that not one of them gave away what Urahara had shared two nights ago, of Aizen's interest in the girl. He was glad that the man had the presence of mind to _not _inform Kuchiki Rukia of anything; _She _would have definitely forgotten Tōshirō's orders to hold her tongue.

But Kurosaki Ichigo…

As he blurted out what he had just discovered, Hitsugaya Tōshirō finally understood _why_ Inoue Orihime had been allowed to heal the boy.

And the Sōtaichō immediately came to the anticipated conclusion: _Traitor_.

Of course.

And of course the idiot boy would want to go after her. And Rukia's upset was understandable; hadn't she just spent the month training with Inoue?

But the foolhardy request Abarai made before the Sōtaichō without a moment's consideration, how the fukutachio turned to Ichigo – in full view of Tōshirō, his superior – to give the teenager an all-too-smug smirk as if permission was mere formality, it left Toshiro frozen with indignation, dumbfounded by Abarai's presumption. There were reasons why Abarai Renji had not been considered to fill the empty captain spot. And this moment of idiocy only served to solidify Tōshirō's opinion that Abarai was poorly suited to the post.

As the senkai gate cut through dimensions, Tōshirō immediately recognized the accompanying reiatsu. It was moments like these he was once again reminded how astute a judge of character Yamamoto-Sōtaichō could be, despite the captain-commander's seemingly narrow view of running the Gotei 13. What better people to control the unruly crowd of ranked Shinigami officers but their respective captains? Where Abarai might attempt to question the Sōtaichō, he was still leashed by Kuchiki Byakuya. And there was no question that Madarame and Ayasegawa looked to their captain before any and all else.

The last thing Tōshirō saw was the male Kurosaki child, back stiff and fist clenched, defiant, anger bubbling up to color his reiatsu black.

_An awful way to end this mission_, Tōshirō thought.

**[C]**

_A/N: I've just about made up my mind about sequels at the like. Chances are, I'll write another story as a direct sequel to this. But more immediately, I anticipate a series of drabbles, not based on any theme or prompt, but more a collection of what angles I'm considering exploring when I do write that sequel, as well as – possibly – some exploration into the past to see how everyone got to where they now are. The intention of this drabble series is to get feedback from you guys… because if I'm going to write something, I might as well write something people enjoy, no? So look out for that – even though I don't know when this story is going to end. It's a good thing that I'm planning ahead, I suppose._

_Oh, and as always, review. I am particularly curious of what you guys made of this chapter, now that the action has died down some._


	22. Chapter 22

**This chapter is dedicated to: All my readers, who have put up with irregular updates and late replies; All writers, who through writing have lived so many lives; And to Mare, who steadfastly believes beyond my own doubt.**

**Bleach does not belong to me.**

* * *

**[C]**

One moment, she was wrapped in a warm, soothing cocoon. The next—

Karin woke gasping, rolling over onto her side clutching her chest.

She heard her name called, but she shoved it aside. Between the moment it took to draw in her first desperate breath and the next, she had reached into the reishi to pull out her spirit thread, still carefully entwined with _his_.

"Oh," she breathed, rolling back onto the futon. She let her eyes close again. "Oh, thank goodness."

In the back of her mind, Karin heard the sound of a door sliding open. She felt more than heard the footsteps that followed. She barely registered the questioning voice.

"Karin-chan?"

Talking only to herself, Karin continued, "I thought something happened… that maybe I only dreamt he was okay…"

But the voice in the background persisted. "Karin-chan?"

Slowly, she lifted an eyelid, peering through a fan of dark eyelashes to meet Yoruichi's concerned expression. "How long have I been asleep?" Karin asked quietly.

"Only half a day. But—"

"I know," Karin interrupted. Her fingers finally relaxed, and the curled piece of red ribbon faded away once more. Her eyelid slid shut again. "He's returned to Soul Society."

"He said sorry," Yoruichi supplied as she sat down across from Karin.

"He would, wouldn't he?" Karin murmured. She wasn't sure if she was speaking to her companion anymore, totally lost in her own thoughts. "That idiot," she said out loud. Then, she lapsed back into silence as she struggled to gather her thoughts.

Yoruichi waited silently.

It took effort, but finally Karin opened her eyes and pushed herself up. She had to get home, she decided. Everything that had happened the past couple of days — from her sleepover at Orihime's apartment to that crazy moment she stabbed Hitsugaya Tōshirō… It was too much. She needed to go home, needed a break from the Shinigami world, needed to pretend to be an ordinary girl for just _one_ bloody day.

Karin needed to get out, and she knew that wouldn't happen unless she could convince Yoruichi that she was going to be alright. She needed to play it cool, couldn't let the woman suspect how close she was to… spontaneous combustion or something. Normalcy, that was the key. _Go slow_, she reminded herself, _Then, as soon as my feet touch the dirt outside the store, I'm going to run like hell._

Taking a breath, Karin turned to Yoruichi, and with forced nonchalance asked, "Everyone's okay, right?"

Yoruichi's tone matched Karin's, conversational voice belied by narrowed eyes and scrutinizing gaze. "Everyone is fine, now."

"That's good," Karin said, mentally cringing at the exaggerated cheer in her voice. Forging on, she asked, "So, what happens now? Is it okay for me to go home? If I've been here overnight – it is the next day now, right?" Despite her best efforts, the words came out a little too fast, too overeager. "Wouldn't Yuzu—"

Yoruichi placed a hand on Karin's wrist, silencing Karin's rambling.

"You should stay here a little longer," Yoruichi said sternly. "At the very least, you need to eat."

"Eat?" Karin repeated in surprise. She had expected Yoruichi to lecture her about safety, about running off to save Tōshirō, about needing rest because she had pushed herself too hard. But food? Karin wasn't the least bit hungry; the thought of food made her nauseous. "But I'm not— " she protested, fumbling, "I mean, Yuzu would be—" Karin swallowed hard and forced what she hoped was a sheepish smile onto her face. She deliberately kept her eyes fixed on the woman before her, fighting the urge to shoot a look to the door. "I'm sure Yuzu has leftovers for me."

Yoruichi gave a slight shake of head. "Karin-chan," something about the patient, gentle voice had Karin's stomach sinking. "Look at your hands, your wrists."

The girl didn't want to, not really, yet her eyes were already darting downward to look at her hands.

"Oh," Karin managed as she stared at her emaciated limbs. "Oh."

"You need to eat. You're too low on reiryoku."

Karin didn't — couldn't — look at the woman. Her voice was tiny when she yielded, "Okay."

**[C]**

She ate the ramen as she was told and didn't protest when the second bowl was placed before her. It didn't taste like anything, although she was vaguely aware it ought to have, considering Tessai prepared it. But she understood why she was eating, and so she continued without complaint.

It would take at least half a day for her body to replenish her reiryoku; longer for her to regain the weight she had lost. If not for the warmth spreading through her body, Karin would have been skeptical the food was doing anything for her at all. The mountain of bowls and plates laden with food intimidated her; she didn't think it was physically possible for her to eat everything prepared for her.

Beside her, Yoruichi sat, undoubtedly there to ensure Karin ate her meal. But the woman was blessedly quiet, leaving Karin to her thoughts.

_I almost died_. That thought echoed in Karin's mind as she went through the motions of eating. _But he is alive, and in the end, it was worth it._

Karin now realized that even after her long talk two nights ago with her zanpakutō, she hadn't truly _known_ what sacrifice was. Conceptually, it was easy to accept the burden of doing _anything_ to save a person's life. But having pushed herself beyond her limit, having made a decision that could have killed her, and being confronted with the fact that she _could have died_… Karin had not expected how badly the truth of her own mortality would shake her. But ultimately, it was the strength and determination behind her decision to save Hitsugaya Tōshirō that left her terrified.

_Would I really do anything for him, then?_ Her mind flashed back to that moment she felt his reiatsu sputter out._ I know now that if I had to, I would have killed for him. If it had been absolutely necessary… I would have taken that risk. But is that normal? To be that… reckless? Or desperate?_

_Would I... will I destroy myself for him?_

And she had a feeling the answer to that last, haunting question was a definitive _yes_.

As she pushed away the second bowl, it suddenly hit her.

_Dear god_, she thought. _Is this what being in love is like?_

"There's nothing wrong with being in love."

The sound of Yoruichi's matter of fact voice startled Karin so thoroughly she upset her bowl. The girl felt blood rushing to her cheeks as she realized, utterly mortified, that she must have spoken out loud… that, perhaps, she had done so the entire time.

Still, there was no use denying the "L" word. Not knowing what to do or else to say, Karin could only busy herself, mopping up the soup splattered across the table.

If Yoruichi sensed Karin's embarrassment, she chose to ignore it, speaking while the girl fumbled with a ratty napkin. "Love's a powerful emotion, and at its finest, it is a beautiful thing. But love is hard to appreciate at your age. You need more time, more experience, some perspective, perhaps some heart ache to truly understand its value — priceless."

Reluctantly, Karin glanced up from the table to meet Yoruichi's gaze, and judging by the gravity in her gold eyes and soft but serious tone, the woman clearly meant for Karin to hear her out. Regardless of how intensely uncomfortable the subject made her feel, there was nothing Karin could do but nod.

"We didn't want to see this happen. Kisuke and I… we had hoped to shield you from our world a little bit longer. I know we've been pushing you to train, but that's only because we wanted to be prepared in case… Well, you've seen the danger of our — _your_ — world. You were forced to make unexpected decisions because we tried to preserve your childhood. We should have discussed love and death and sacrifice..."

Yoruichi flashed Karin an apologetic smile. "We should have anticipated these events, yet we didn't... didn't _want _to. It's not our place to protect you from life, from growing up. And regardless, you have grown. I can see it in your eyes, and even now, I regret what it cost you. We should have prepared you for it instead..."

A lot was said in those short moments — too much, perhaps, because Karin found herself curiously numb, staggered by how little she _understood_ yet how much of it _felt_ right. Almost funny how not too long ago, she had longed to be a child, to be simple-minded, to view the world in black, white, and vivid color, no muted shades. But with Yoruichi's words, Karin realized that after all that had happened in the past month… She had grown, and whatever the change inside her… it had touched something fundamental. It was irreversible.

There was no way for Karin to _stop_ seeing shades of grey anymore. And she realized that despite it all, there _was_ a part of her that was grateful for the experience.

_At the very least_, she thought, _this would have had to happen sometime, right? I mean, I suppose not to most people. But Ichi-nii and Otou-san are both connected to the Shinigami world. And even all those years of me pretending I _couldn't_ see spirits didn't change the fact that I _did_. The fact is there is danger in the spiritual world. I can't ignore it now. I'm not a coward, damn it. I'm not weak. I can learn to handle it. I survived yesterday; I saved a life! I'm going to make the most of all this. No way I'm going to turn down a chance to protect everyone._

_And, most importantly, I can't deny the connection Tōshirō and I have. I don't think I can give up what he's brought — given — me._

_God, if Otou-san were to hear all this… _In spite of herself, Karin found her lips curling up, the beginning of a smile forming as she thought of her father's overly animated reaction. _He would probably work himself into a pathetic, hysterical fit about how his baby girl was growing up. _

But then, the smile faltered as she thought back to Yoruichi 's words.

"Yoruichi-san," Karin started, swallowing thickly and forcing herself to meet the woman's patient gaze, mustering the courage to ask the question on the tip of her tongue. "What… what is it like, being in love? What was it like with you and Urahara-san?"

"Natural," the woman said immediately. She smiled faintly, as she continued, "I… We met when we were children; the first real friend either of us had, best friends. And we just… we understood each other so well. It was exhilarating, that feeling of complete acceptance. Although… we had our ups and downs. Sometimes, we have… Our personalities are obviously different, so there have been times when we've taken different routes, each of us struggling to get our own way without realizing we both were fixed on achieving the same goal. But _that_ is the point: the goal is the same. _We are on the same page_. True, his strengths are different from mine, and I'll never suggest that I understand even half of what he does, but there are other things _—_ _my things_ — that he doesn't understand, though _he_ might suggest that he does. Love isn't about carbon copies. It's about compatibility. We complement each other. You need to understand that being together doesn't make you 'whole.' I'm whole with or without him. But _together_… together we are altogether something _more_.

"Neither of us really knew, not like you and Hitsugaya-kun who knew from the start, what was happening to our souls. We don't really know _when_ it happened either. But when we found out about it, it just… it made sense. Everyone has that desire to be accepted and validated, but with him, I don't need to worry about the rest of the world. I have my acceptance. He is… He's home," the woman said, just the faintest hint of embarrassment on her face, "and at the end of the day, that is all I need."

"And me and Tōsh—Hitsugaya-kun," Karin ventured hesitantly, "That's how it'd be with us?"

To this, Yoruichi shrugged. "No two relationships are the same," the woman said. "What it will be between you and Hitsugaya-kun depends on who the two of you become. But will that connection be there? That perfect understanding I mentioned? I don't doubt it." The woman leaned in, reaching across the table to press her fingertips over Karin's heart. "I know you feel it in there. And the beauty of it is _he feels it too_. There's no uncertainty about the matter. Your bond is simple fact. If you really care to know, I can have Kisuke explain the theories behind soul bonds. But I think you're more like me, that all you need to know is that what you feel here is _real_. Trust, don't doubt, it."

"And even if you won't admit to feeling it," Yoruichi added with a cheeky grin, "All of us can see it clearly anyway."

Immediately, Karin's cheeks flushed at the thought of her so-called "love life" being scrutinized by the people around her.

"But, I -we-there's nothing—" the girl fumbled, the words she needed slipping further and further from her reach as Yoruichi snickered.

"What are you talking about?" Karin finally cried. "What have you _seen_? I mean, I've _just_ figured out that… maybe, I… you _know_. And now, you're telling me it's been obvious all along?"

"Oh, Karin-chan, relax," the woman said, a large smile on her face in spite of her exasperated tone. "And no, not love, but the way you two seem attuned to one another. It's not glaringly obvious, but when you know to look for it, it's there. Little things, like how you intuitively know when he's thirsty, or how he can complete your sentences. Although," the woman teased, "You should be a little more subtle about when you're oogling him with those big, lovesick puppy-dog eyes."

"Yoruichi-san!" Karin all but yelled, stopping herself only at the last minute from throwing something at the woman.

"Ah, Karin-chan, you're just too fun to tease."

Karin glowered as Yoruichi chuckled.

But when the moment had passed, Karin spoke up again. "But, if you don't mind me asking," she said slowly, "Neither you nor Urahara-san seem very… in love." "Not that I doubt that," the girl added in a hurry, "But I mean, you're nothing like the movies or the way Otou-san was – is – about Okaa-san."

"We have different ways of showing it," Yoruichi said simply. "Both of us are fairly apt at keeping up walls when in public. For so long, we have had all these _duties_, and keeping our private life private was a necessity. Aside from that, we are naturally private about it, I suppose. Before we knew the connection between us or understood what it meant, we were children building that bond... away from other people. No one even saw us together for... maybe twenty years." She looked Karin straight in the eye, the intensity of her gaze strengthening the gravity of her voice. "While it isn't a secret that we are together, neither of us advertises how deep the bond goes. Don't misunderstand, I'm proud of him and my relationship with him. But we have had stretches of... _complications_ in life, and I refuse to have him hurt because of me, and vice versa.

"But if you want to know about love — what it really is — I can't explain, can't really show you or anyone else. It's for _us_ to enjoy; our relationship is about _us._ It's impossible to explain to someone else the significance in all the little things we might do. But I suppose if you watch us… you'll see what we see in you and Hitsugaya-kun. Being in love, being around the person you love, it doesn't necessarily have to be those dramatic, exaggerated affairs you see in theatres… or when you watch your father. A quiet love can be just as, if not more, potent."

The soft, contemplative expression on Yoruichi's face fell away as she shifted, eyes darting to the closed doors.

"But, anyway," Yoruichi said, changing the subject, gesturing at the bowls of food yet untouched, "you should finish eating. There's more where that came from, I should go check on that. You're still too skinny, although your reiryoku feels healthier. You've no idea how lucky you are be _alive _instead of depending on a gigai. Your body is able to metabolize food so much more efficiently. You should be looking a lot better by the end of the day _if_ you keep eating."

The thought of food – a lot of it – made Karin suddenly queasy. She opened her mouth to protest, to say that she wasn't quite hungry in that moment, that she wouldn't mind an extra day to get better because she really had no appetite anymore, but was cut off as Yoruichi continued, "Kisuke's going to be here shortly, and there's going to be more to discuss, decisions to make." Yoruichi smiled, and the expression was only ever so slightly strained. "Please eat the food," she said seriously. "You're going to need it. You don't want them to force the nasty brewed stuff on you." Then, Yoruichi stood, and for a moment Karin thought the woman would bend over and hug her. Instead, she found her hair being ruffled in a fond gesture uncharacteristic of the Shihōin princess.

"Kisuke probably won't say it, or at least he's going to say it like he doesn't mean it, but we're very proud of you, Karin-chan."

**[C]**

She watched quietly as Urahara Kisuke stood at the doorway, finishing up his quick, quiet conversation Tessai.

_Yoruichi-san is right_, Karin thought. _It's all these little things that give it away… if you know what to look for._

Like how Urahara had shared a single look with Yoruichi before stepping out to catch Tessai as the man passed by. Or how Yoruichi shifted ever so slightly to make space for Urahara as he sat back down. How his eyes seemed to smile with a genuine fondness, artificially belied by the exaggerated thanks he showered upon her for pouring him tea. And even as Yoruichi's golden eyes rolled and a slender brown hand snuck up to rap the man on the side of the head, Karin could see the fond smile on the woman's face.

Familiar routine, familiar gestures, silly, seemingly meaningless little things steeped in so much affection.

And Karin… Karin could see herself falling into such a routine with Hitsugaya Tōshirō. Certainly neither of them would ever be quite as falsely _dramatic_ as Shihōin Yoruichi and especially Urahara Kisuke could be. But those little things – knowing when Tōshirō was getting tired or hungry, reading him with a look, knowing when he preferred conversation over silence. Or even the way it was almost a game to her, to make him smile, and the little victory she felt when his lips would struggle to stay downturned at something she had done.

It wasn't quite… romantic. And she wasn't sure if or when there would come a time when she and Tōshirō would be more… romantically inclined. But as surely as she loved her family, she loved him. And the more she thought of it, the less the thought scared her.

_And Yoruichi-san says he feels the same way?_

But her thoughts were interrupted as Urahara cleared his throat. Karin realized that the two adults in front of her had finally finished bickering.

"Karin-chan," the man said lightly, addressing her as her eyes darted to meet his.

It was Karin's first time seeing this side of Urahara Kisuke – the no-nonsense, solemn, _normal_ side of the man. He was also not wearing his hat – another first – further emphasizing that something was _different_.

She didn't like how his pleasant expression was skin deep, how foreboding his eyes were with their cloudy gray. "You probably want this back," he said, retrieving a cloth-wrapped object from the floor.

The slender appearance told Karin what it was, her suspicions confirmed as a familiar hum of energy seeped into her palms when she accepted it.

"My zanpakutō," she breathed. She unwrapped the fabric to reveal the sheathed blade, and after the briefest hesitation drew her sword. The blade gleamed silver under the light. "It's… you fixed it for me?" Karin asked.

"You fixed it," the man corrected. "It's a part of your soul, after all. To sacrifice its reiatsu for you, it shattered. You had consumed the entirety of your reiryoku; the energy from your zanpakutō was all that was keeping you alive. But when you restore your strength, you restore _it_ also. Relationship between a Shinigami and their zanpakutō is mutualistic; You are both stronger for it." And then he smiled, "Or should I be referring to your zanpakutō as 'her?'"

There was something familiar to what Urahara was saying, but her thoughts were distracted by the question posed. "Her name is Hoshikuzu," Karin said, oddly proud of her sword that moment. She ran a finger along the flat of the blade, soothed by the feel of her zanpakutō's own reiatsu. "Arigato," Karin said, "for returning her. I had thought…"

And her thoughts drifted back to that moment when her zanpakutō's voice had whispered in her mind, barely comprehensible over all the pain.

When her sword has asked, "Your life for his?" and Karin had chosen Hitsugaya Tōshirō.

Now Karin clearly remembered the sound of her zanpakutō shattering, remembered how it felt as though she was being ripped apart.

The phantom pain stole her breath away.

_But you understand, don't you?_ She silently asked her sword. _You who from the start encouraged me to follow my heart. Are you happy with the decision I made?_

There was no answer Karin could hear, but the steady reiatsu she felt even as she placed the sheathed sword onto her lap was all she needed.

"You're startlingly young to have achieved Bankai," Urahara said when Karin looked up to face him. "Yet I don't think you truly have, have you?"

The question baffled the girl. "I… I wouldn't know?"

"She shared her true name with you when you transitioned physical states. Do you still remember that name?"

"I…" and Karin frowned. "I remember the first… but I know there was a second."

"Do you remember what she said to you while you were in your inner world?"

Once again Karin had to think back, sieving through memories that were disconnected and hazy. "She said… she had told me once before that if it came to it, _we_ would fight. And then, when Tōshirō fell… She said… she said that my body wasn't ready, but she acted anyway. Can she — can they do that?" Karin asked. "All this time, all I've heard is that a Shinigami's zanpakutō won't reveal itself until the Shinigami was ready. But I wasn't, and…"

"You are not ready," Urahara Kisuke stated genially. "I'm sure you would agree. Yet a Shinigami may unlock previously dormant abilities to survive peril. Our souls have this innate desire, this _basal_ instinct to survive – when necessary, it lends its wielder strength beyond the Shinigami's normal capabilities. Nevertheless, I would concede that you were taken to a rather unprecedented level."

He look on his face was speculative and the eyes pinned on Karin were shrewd. "It makes sense, all things considered. Your zanpakutō does tend to take initiative. It's no more normal for a zanpakutō to come out of dormancy in a living soul, even one with as strong a spiritual sense as you. But why she chose to do so, why she chose _you_, I believe was a matter of careful deliberation on her part.

"Perhaps, she loaned at you her strength because of her vested interest in Hitsugaya-kun. After all, the bond you share with Hitsugaya-kun is exceedingly rare. I doubt she would wait lifetimes for the connection only to have him die. And while you were safe from physical harm, her residence within your heart and soul was threatened by Hitsugaya-kun's condition. Naturally, she wouldn't want your heart or soul breaking."

"But," he added. "In all of that, we did learn something about you."

"What?" Karin asked, head still spinning.

"That your zanpakutō thinks you're ready to handle her Shikai."

"But…" Karin started. "I don't… I am?"

"There were two names," Urahara prompted. "I believe you recall the first?"

Karin frowned. "I do, but… but I don't know how to use it. It was just one thing after another—"

"That's okay, Karin-chan," Yoruichi said, finally speaking up. "That's what we're here for. To help you train. If you still want to."

Before the girl could speak, Yoruichi continued, after a sidelong glance at Urahara Kisuke. "I assume you know what we think," the woman said, her voice steady. "But this decision _has_ to come from you. Don't let our expectations dictate your actions. Because while you've had a chance to experience our world, you must understand yesterday was only a _fraction _of what you will face. A war is happening in the spiritual world. If _you_ want to get involved, we will do everything in our ability to prepare you. But it _has_ to be your decision."

The woman sat back and let out a soft sigh. "I wish there was more time for you to really consider this, but things have come to a head. Ask questions; I know you must have them. And I promise that we will do our best to answer them."

_I… I really don't want to know the answer to the questions I have_, Karin thought resentfully. _I thought… just… Why do I have to make all these decisions? Can't I just… But there's no time. There never does seem to be any time!_

And there they were sitting, watching her, and Karin couldn't even _blame_ them. Not Yoruichi, whom Karin truly believed meant the best from the earnest look on her face and the regret in her golden eyes. And not even Urahara, because Karin somehow had the feeling that he wasn't _normally_ the type to give her such options. That he truly would allow her to step away from all this.

Frustrated, Karin slammed her head against the table.

"We, uh… Karin-chan, why don't we give you some time alone?" Yoruichi said quietly. "I- we didn't mean to upset you, but… why don't we just come back later?"

"No, don't." Karin's voice was muffled against the table, but she pressed a hand onto the wooden surface to help push herself back up to face the two adults. "I- you're right. There isn't that much time, is there?" She forced herself to put on a smile. Her voice wavered, but Karin knew it was imperative she remain strong. "Either I decide to be a part of all this _Shinigami stuff_, or there really is a chance that there might not be anything to be a part of later, would there?"

The two adults that had already gotten half up from the floor paused. Karin waited, not failing now to notice how they needed nothing more than a glance at each other, before they sat back down – with Urahara waiting to make sure Yoruichi was settled before he took his seat.

The talk with Yoruichi earlier, and being able to _watch_ those little things in action… It made Karin wish, seemingly irrational though it might be, Tōshirō was there with her that moment. To have someone to _support_ her and her decisions at a time like this...

Watching the interaction between Shihōin Yoruichi and Urahara Kisuke, whose relationship was centuries old and still so strong, helped Karin make up her mind.

"I want to train," she said clearly. "I want to get better. I want to be able to do what I can to protect those I love." And in the forefront of her mind were her father, her sister and brother, and Hitsugaya Tōshirō.

"But," the girl continued. "You said it'll be hard." She took a deep breath. "I want to know what is going on. I don't want surprises. If I'm going to do this, you need to believe I can handle it. _I _need to know I can handle it, I need to prepare myself for all this."

"Right," Yoruichi said.

And Urahara asked, "Where would you like us to start?"

"With the present," Karin said firmly. What did it matter what caused the conflict anymore? She just… she just needed something, a goal, to work towards. Baby steps. She could handle that. Focus on what needed to be immediately, what to currently expect. The rest of the blanks could be filled later. "What is happening right now? Now that Tōshi- Hitsugaya-kun and Rangiku-san and all the other Shinigami have returned to Soul Society and-"

She broke off mid-sentence, eyes widening. "Ichi-nii!" She exclaimed. "Oh my god, after all that, how did I forget... is he ok? Was he hurt? Where is he now? Is he home?"

Karin did _not_ like the way Urahara Kisuke's face darkened.

"He's ok," the man said swiftly. "He received an injury of some significance but the damage has been reversed." It was in the way he seemed exceptionally deliberate in his words that let Karin know he was making an effort to tell the truth. "However, he will be leaving tonight."

"Why?" Karin cried. "Why does he have to rush off again?"

"In the past hour," the man started with an even tone that told Karin he wasn't going to sugarcoat the truth, "We have received confirmation that Inoue Orihime has been kidnapped by Aizen's agents." The words hit Karin like a sack of bricks, but the man did not wait for her to catch her breath before he continued. "Your brother is aware of the situation. Given his personality, he will likely depart this evening to rescue her."

"But wait!" Karin protested. "What? How- wouldn't that mean he would be going to that.. Hue..." She waved her hands about. "Whatever that place is called? You can't let him go! It's too dangerous!"

"Karin-chan," Yoruichi interjected. "I believe this is something your brother needs to do. He isn't going to stand by idly when he knows Orihime-chan is in danger. And the reality is... he needs to go. Like you, Ichigo has to grow as a Shinigami. But he walks a different path. What he will face in rescuing Orihime-chan has to prepare him for what is to come. It is _necessary_ for him to face such challenges for him to survive."

"Aizen has a plan for your brother," Urahara added. He raised a hand to cut off Karin's sputtered protests. "Your Onii-chan is going to be safe. If Aizen Sōsuke had meant to kill him, Kurosaki Ichigo would have died months ago."

"So... so I'm just supposed to let him- I haven't seen him in a month-" Karin took a deep breath, trying to keep her calm. "I want to go with him. If going after Orihime-chan will make him grow, I-"

Yoruichi's response was immediate and absolute. "No! You must stay here."

Cutting off Karin's protests, the woman continued. "All this time we have taken so much care to protect you and your sister from Aizen's attention. Your brother is caught up in that mad man's game, but _not you_. We want to keep it that way. Especially because you are _different_ from your brother. Aizen would revel in manipulating your strength and your bond."

There was silence, as Karin took it all in. Finally, in a low voice, she asked, "Will I get to see him?"

Her heart sank as both adults shook their heads. "I'm afraid not," Urahara said. "You would be too much of a distraction to Kurosaki-kun. Ichigo _needs_ to do this. And with you-"

The man paused, penetrating eyes capturing Karin's full attention.

"You are his to protect. That is his perceived role as older brother. But he cannot protect without growth. Neither can you. To deny him this opportunity is for him to deny yours. Stop Kurosaki-kun, and you tie yourself to your family, and _this_ world. "

Her eyes followed, transfixed, as he pointed solidly down at the floor.

His words washed over her. "You increase the chance that all of you may die."

_What was it, _Karin asked herself, _that Tōshirō said about detachment? That in the end it boils down to priorities, about what I can _allow_ myself to care about. About what is important enough that I _have _to care about. And to decide what _would_ hurt me if I worried about them._

She could remember his eyes, not dull, not defeated. Startlingly aquamarine, the riveting intensity refined by millenia.

Urahara Kisuke had once made the comment that Hitsugaya Tōshirō was an old soul. Then, the girl had took the words to mean the boy had a couple decades on her. Now, as Karin recalled Tōshirō's eyes, she wondered if the man was suggesting instead a sum-total karma.

She wondered how old her soul was.

_So what can I allow myself to care for? What is most important, right now? What would hurt me, if I focused on right now?_

She felt something inside her quieting. She _felt_ herself make up her mind.

Clutching onto that image of flashing turquoise, Karin braced herself. Vaguely, she wondered what they saw in her plain brown eyes as she opened her mouth.

"What happens now?"

_Surely, _she thought with detachment, _they can hear him in my voice._

Karin could see the change in Urahara Kisuke's expression, the flash of recognition, followed by something… _darker_ she couldn't understand it.

"Now," the man said, "_we _prepare for war."


End file.
